Dawn: Do you guys have any idea how much your reviews mean to me? I don't wanna rant on this, not with the new interlude on the day with my 50th review, but I kinda have to explain how much it means to me. You see, seeing all those reviews made me feel so much better today, which was kinda crappy. What happened was that some asshole in my first period class thought it would be hilarious to zip-tie my bookbag to my chair, so because it was a sub there, I had to go to my next period class to get scissors so that I could free my bag, and I couldn't even unleash Zero and Kaname on them because I didn't know who did it. Yeah, the reviews really helped me feel better, so THANKS SO MUCH!
Takuma: And now for something serious, aka Katsu's past!
Zero: ImmortalDawn18 does not own Vampire Knight.
Kaname: *is currently examining green zip-tie critically* And next chapter will be a real chapter, so... enjoy!
Interlude: Loss of Victory
My entire life has always been one overarching struggle, my fight to survive. We shapeshifters know nothing else, even I, who possess a gift beyond any other. Cat shapeshifters do not age, but they are given nine lives. Nine lives to live, nine lives to die, but for most, these lives are naught but suffering. Take me for example. My first life began long ago in what I suspect was ancient Greece. I don't know for certain because it's been so long, and time wasn't exactly kept accurately back then, even for those of us who lived it. Back then, my hair was white, but I still spent much of my time fighting to be noticed. My siblings were self-sufficient, and my father absent from my life. Was it really so much of a stretch to imagine that when my mother tried to leave, I got shakily to my feet and followed her? For her, it was, so she killed me.
My second life was spent as a priest of Apollo, one of my siblings, with hair the absolute lightest shade of yellow possible, one that was practically white. I grew up at the temple at Delphei, an atheist hiding among true believers, for I found myself unable to believe in a deity when said deity was actually blood-related to me, but I digress. I lived a fine life, full of work that let me sleep soundly at night, though I did not know how limited it was until I met a handsome she-cat Huntress of Artemis. It was love at first sight for us, and that was the reason for my second death. My sister was not fond of lovers.
My third life was the first I spent in prolonged contact with a vampire, my hair this time a pale gold. My friend, a great pureblood prince named Kaname Kuran, graciously showed me the wonders of the world, and in return, I showed him how a shapeshifter's powers work. He never did master how to hold the form of anything but a dark-furred wolf, but since my own form at the time was a sandy lion (I'd given up my fourth life to teach Kaname such tricks), neither of us saw a fit reason to complain. When society went to hell and back, I gave my third life to defend my friend's coffin from overzealous vampire hunters. I never expected anything to change like it did. Since Kaname held my fourth life, I could not be reborn into my fifth until he awoke again.
When my eyes opened again, my hair a sunshine gold, the first person to help me up was a pureblood vampire with heterochromous eyes. At first, I thought him Kaname; that is, until he spoke. "Kaname was dead," he told me, "and I am his descendant, Rido." There were a handful of reasons why I trusted Rido, forefront among them being the sheer amount of blood spattered throughout the catacomb holding my friend's coffin, the lid of which lay cracked at to the side, prevented from lying flat against the cool marble by a dead body, its identity lost to the crimson dye covering it.
Rido was safe. Rido was sanctuary. After the thousands of years I'd spent being ignored, his steady presence and attention was exactly what I needed. I darnk in his soft words, his kind gestures hungrily, slowly forgetting the just vampire prince I had known. I tried to please him with every fiber of my being, to ignore whatever pangs I might feel myself in order to maintain my place in his heart.
I entered my sixth life because of and for Rido. As if he sensed the immense lonliness pouding through my veins whenever he left on business, despite my attempts to conceal it from him, he announced that we would be recieving a young girl named Yuki, his niece, to be my companion. I was eccsatic, eagerly preparing for their arrival. When the first snowstorm of that winter came and he still had not returned, I bundled myself up and braved the white wilderness for him. The cost of retrieving Rido that night was losing my fifth life to a handsome young boy with wine red eyes and a hunter's blade he left buried in my chest. When I recovered myself, I gave up my seventh life in order to teach Rido how to bind his awareness to bodies other than his own and those willing to open themselves up to him. He claimed I was selfish for refusing to share my body with him, my master, any longer. I didn't disagree.
My sixth life I spent trying to woo Rido. The very instant I'd opened my eyes, I'd told him I loved him. He'd hit me, telling me that it was wrong for two males to love each other, that he could never love me back. When I replied that I didn't care, I still loved him, and that it was okay if he didn't reciprocate my feelings, he called me a slut and proceeded to take my virginity. Thus began my relationship with the devil. I'd tell him I loved him as soon as he got back to the "mansion" we stayed in, he'd have sex with me, and then drink my blood through wounds he'd make with his claws while I was asleep.
I thought my life would be better once he bit me, changing me into a vampire, a Level D since I'd not been born to this life. However, deprived of Rido's blood and a reason to stay sane in my solitary home, I quickly deteriorated into a spell of blood; I wouldn't be surprised if the account Rido gave the Hunter's Association of me actually being a Level E turned out to be true. Either way, my dreams shattered when Rido used the hunter's blade that the little Kuran bastard stuck in my chest a lifetime ago to kill me in my sixth life. The fact the vampire hunter, one of the legendary Kiryus, took my eighth life was simply an added bonus.
The pain I felt was not something I wanted to feel. So when I entered my last life, my hair jet-black now, I found myself unable to transform. My body wanted to cope with the metaphorical ache in my chest, one my feline form was immune to. I guess if I'm being honest, I'll add that I never did try to transform back. I'm too much of a coward to try. Experiments were nothing, surjuries painless when all I wanted to think about was how to die. I blanked out all my memories, pretended that I didn't have a past. If I didn't admit the truth, it didn't exist. I wasn't Masaru anymore. I wasn't victorious. I wasn't anything.
Would you remain by my side if you knew the truth about me, Takuma? Would you still love me if you knew I"m a coward? If I dared to change back to a humanoid form, would you give me a chance to deserve you?
Dawn: Well, the good news is that next chapter will be a continuation for sure. The bad news is it won't be out for a little while now that most of my free-writing time is shorter, aka I don't have my faux finals to deal with anymore. But I should have it out soon! Updates'll be quicker with my half-days due to finals next week, then I'll be homefree (almost)!
Zero: Just shut up now. Please.
Dawn: *pout* You're so mean, Zero-chan...
Kaname: Please review. It'd be interesting to see what you think of Katsu's past!
Takuma: Well, since the rest of this is all review-answering, GOOD DAY!
Review-answering
Sasu-Sama' Sarukiji Sempai: Well, glad to know you are!
blackfire1331: It's reassuring to know my mental problems make it nigh impossible for people to follow my train of thought... Okay, seriously though, things are gonna be happening soon, so I'd stay tuned! The hilarity of some of my plans IS NOT TO BE MISSED!
irmina: I personally intended for Kaname to set the store on fire, but that would disobey the laws of physics, something I swore I wouldn't do unless I could justify it (so of course the collar's sticking around!). And as for what's gonna happen, well, you've just gotta hang in there!
mpiedz: Yep, Zero's getting smarter about his dog... and Kaname's getting lazier by the day... (Kaname would likely kill me for that...)
ElheiM: Damn you for getting me thinking about Kaname's kinky sexiness! But yep, I laughed at that whole sequence. Takuma's learning about his kitty, but Rima does have all those ribbons, I should've had her use those to tease Katsu with instead. And I can't reveal too much, but Aurora/me is/am quite good at these kind of things, including figuring out that the "battle" was actually Laertes's home post-kidnapping. And I just got bored of the naiad, so I killed him. *shrugs* AND I WON'T REVEAL WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN NEXT CHAPTER EVEN IF YOU BRIBED ME, SO JUST SETTLE IN AND WAIT!
