Chapter 8: They've Got You Trapped
The morning wind slipped appreciatively through the open windows of the private promenade deck and played with everything that it could. The tablecloth whipped up and down and the woman's skirts were blown this way and that under the table. Generally the breeze's antics would have given the young man great joy. He always loved the feel of it tugging at his clothes and hair, especially the one random curl that never behave anyways...the wind made it go crazy. Today however, he was too preoccupied to enjoy the cool wind.
Feliciano looked across the table at his guardian. Elizaveta didn't meet his eyes and turned away to accept another spot of tea from their maid servant. Feliciano waited and just stared into his own cup of coffee. He absently twirled a spoon about in a half hearted attempt to mix the cream in. But all of his attention was placed in wondering and worrying about why the older woman had insisted he wake up earlier than usual in order to have Sunday breakfast with her instead of with his brother and the two young ladies.
At last Elizaveta met his eyes and placed her teacup back onto its saucer with an audible clink.
"Lili was disappointed you didn't come to her last night. She does so enjoy your late night talks."
Feliciano, caught his breath and tried to stop his hands from shaking. He took a breath to calm himself and tried to reply cheerily but with all pretense of being exhausted.
"I was tired." He, covered a yawn as a further proof to his point, "Perhaps if I could get more sleep before mass I might..."
"Your exertions below deck were no doubt exhausting." Elizaveta interrupted with a mocking heir.
Feliciano blinked and set his coffee cup onto the table as his cheeks heated with embarrassment and...annoyance?
"So Vash did follow me then. How typical."
Elizaveta was slightly taken aback at her younger charges apparent change in attitude and lack of respect towards his superiors and protectors, but her temper quickly caught up with her and she firmly placed her palms on the table looking directly into his eyes.
"You will not behave like that again Feliciano. Do you understand?"
He stared back at her while biting his lip slightly in uncertainty. Never had he gone against his guardians wishes. Unlike Lovino, all he wanted to do was please the kind young couple that had taken them in directly after their grandfather had died. They had shown the twins nothing but kindness and attentiveness, and he greatly appreciated that. But on the other hand, Liz had actually shown more care towards him and practically babied him despite his age. She treated him like he was a little child, while Roderich...occasionally he felt like the stern Austrian man simply looked at him like a puppy. He laughed slightly as he envisioned in his mind Roderich standing over him with a newspaper pointed directly at his face chiding, "Bad! Bad Feliciano! You must stop breaking things! I will put you outside this time if you do not learn to behave! It's raining out there you know!" He laughed outright at the look of pure annoyance beneath his guardian's glasses.
"This is not funny Feli." Elizaveta growled, snapping the young Italian out of his mind and back to the issue.
She was right. The situation wasn't funny. Much as he would like to brush it off as he always managed to and just say that he had forgotten he made any such agreement in the future...this time he felt farely certain that that would not work this time. He looked back into his guardian's eyes and the cold anger that he saw there made something inside him snap.
How dare she? How dare she order him around?! He was 18 years old and not quite such the weakling everyone treated him as. He was not an idiot. He assumed that his brain functioned like any young man of his age. The only difference between himself and them was that...he didn't let the world's expectations stop him from wanting to make the most out of his life...and right now...what he wanted most out of his life...was to see Ludwig again. To see him...be near him...touch him...hopefully. He had felt so comfortable in the German's strong arms when they had danced the night before and the devil take anyone that stood in his way.
Elizaveta was still watching him with that sharp calculating glare.
"Feliciano, answer me. Do you understand?"
He clenched a fist on his knee and stared back at her challengingly.
"I am not your son. I am not even a child that you can command. I am a young man of 18 with a life of my own."
Elizaveta's eyes went wide she stood up abruptly.
"Not a child?...Not my...?"
Her eyes suddenly blazed in complete fury and she slammed her hands onto the table making the china-wear rattle dangerously and the water glasses tip over spilling their contents all over the white cloth.
"Damn you boy! You are my child if I say you are!"
Feliciano was astonished by her harsh words and attitude. The rattling hurt the slight headache that he had woken up with, a punishment for all the beer he had consumed last night he supposed, and the all out change in the woman's conduct had caused him to flinch back into his chair.
"How dare you talk back to me in that way!" the older woman continued. She kicked out with a foot, catching one of the table's legs and causing the momentum to send the small piece of furniture, and everything previously on its surface, crashing to the deck. Her path cleared she ran forward and gripped the young man's arms with such force that he cried out in pain.
"Liz...Liz stop! Please!" he gasped, but his return of weakness made the woman's fury only grow and she used her weight to slam him against the back of the chair while she shouted at him with all the authority that she felt she had.
"You may not officially be my son by law, but that does not mean that you should not treat me as your actual parent. And damned be all if you will not honor me! You will honor me! You will honor me the way a child is required to honor their parents! Because I will not be made a fool Feliciano. And I will not permit you to make a fool of Roderich either." Her rant turned into a quiet hiss at the end as she stared directly into his terrified eyes.
"Is this in any way unclear?"
Feliciano shook his head rapidly, desperate for her to let him go...for the pain that was shooting through him, from where her nails dug through his loose shirt into his flesh, to end. It took all his strength to at least keep the tears from escaping. He would not show her that weakness...usually he didn't care...in the past his guardian had been the one he would go to when he was upset, but now...after what she had done...he would never show her tears again...never again.
"No." he gasped meeting her eyes once more, "I understand."
"Good." She hissed, before releasing him and straightening with a slight nod.
"Scuse me." She smoothed out her dress and walked calmly away down the deck in the direction of hers and Roderich's private room.
After he was sure she had gone Feliciano clutched his arms tight around himself and buried his face in them letting the shaking sobs escape him at last.
"Oh Feli!" Lili exclaimed rushing over to him. She had witnessed the majority of the disagreement through the barely open sitting room door and had been completely shocked by Elizaveta's behavior towards the gentle Italian boy.
Feliciano tried to swallow his tears and gave a choking laugh as he turned to Lili.
"I'm sorry Lili. You must think I'm a weakling. Crying over such a little thing as this accident." He gestured to the smashed contents of the table and the overturned instrument itself.
So that's the story he's going to use then?
"No." Lili shook her head and hugged him gently, "It's all right."
"I'm...I'm so clumsy...I accidentally knocked the table when I was swinging my legs. Liz was really upset. I got tea on her dress. She went to go change...I...I should really clean this up."
He got shakily down onto his knees and began desperately to pick up the broken pieces of china but Lili caught his hand to stop him from accidentally cutting himself. She looked directly into his eyes and wiped away the drops of moisture that clung to his delicate eyelashes. As she gazed at him she desperately tried to make him see that she knew...that she knew everything.
"It's all right Feli." She whispered.
He did understand. He could see the contained shock and anger at Liz in her eyes and the sympathy towards him as well. So she thought he was weak as well? Well let her then. Let all of them. He would keep playing the innocent weak and obedient boy for now. After all...that had served him well in the past. Playing weak and innocent meant that he didn't get as harshly scolded. That he wasn't hurt...that others left him alone. When you acted open, happy and clueless...people believed that you truly were...that you had nothing to hide...well let them believe that...let them believe that he really was completely happy with his life...that he didn't want something different...that he didn't long for complete freedom beneath a blue sky and with even bluer eyes gazing down at him.
Feliciano let himself continue to cry so that Lili clutched him to her tightly and let him bury his face into her shoulder. All the while his mind was focused on something beyond his pain and fright. His escape. He would play the perfect little charge for the voyage. Make his guardian's and the two young women believe that nothing was wrong. When the ship docked...he would run...run with all the speed that he kept secret from his family...The speed and agility that he had mastered in secret, out in the small wood by the Edelstein mansion. Yes he would run...he would find Ludwig and drag him with him. The only things he would regret losing were Lovi and Lili...his brother...and the sweet girl that he truly considered a sister. Maybe...just maybe he really would give her the Attraversare delle Fate as something to remember him by...or maybe he would keep it and give it to Ludwig as proof of his affection for the larger man. Love at first sight...Love can make people do crazy things. He laughed lightly which Lili took as a good sign and pulled away smiling.
"You feel better then?"
He nodded and wiped his eyes.
Yes he felt better...he was going to be reckless...throw everything he had away for a love that was probably entirely one sided and would amount to nothing...but still...hell if reason had ever stopped him before!
~*Slightly Later*~
Lovino pretended to take no notice when the door to his room opened. He simply continued to work at his stubborn Sunday suit and tie while he stared at his reflection in the full length wardrobe mirror. But Roderich would not be ignored for long as he slammed the door behind him and walked over to begin straightening out the young man's attire himself.
"You are not to see that young man again." He said harshly as he tucked the white shirt into Lovino's pants.
Lovino responded by rolling his eyes which Roderich caught in the mirror's reflection.
"Lovino." He snapped sharply, "I forbid it."
"Ha" Lovino sneered, "Like you could ever actually forbid me from doing anything, moron."
Roderich's eyes flashed and he whirled the boy around to face him slamming him back against the wardrobe.
"This is not a game. Our situation is at present precarious. Your marriage to Bella is ensured but Lili's parents could still decide to break off her engagement to Feliciano. And I will not have you making that more possible by behaving in such an uncouth and disgraceful manor." He dropped the boy's arms and began the task of fixing his tie, "I don't understand you. It is a fine match with Bella, you should be grateful that she has stayed true to you despite all of your unpleasant attributes."
Lovino snorted then smirked, quickly recovering from the shock of finding himself pinned.
"Well I expect that your agreement with her has something to do with it."
Roderich stiffened and stared calculatingly back at his young charge as he spoke softly.
"Agreement?"
"How much did you promise to let her keep?" Lovino continued not taking his cold stare off of the older man.
"How much?" Roderich did not break eye contact to even blink.
"My inheritance." Lovino smirked, "How much of my inheritance did you promise that young chit she could keep at my early death?"
Roderich's gaze still did not falter but Lovino could tell that he had tensed up considerably.
"Oh I know all the plans. Quite easy isn't it? Accidents happen so easily in America. Innocent citizens get killed every day by crazed shooters. How convenient for you and Liz if your elder charge were to be the unfortunate victim of a serial killer. And so soon after coming of age and being married too."
Roderich's hand flew quicker than Lovino could react and the young man was sent reeling back against the wardrobe once more as the slap rattled his skull. The older gentleman composed himself once more as he headed for the door and slipped a key out of his pocket.
"You appear to be out of sorts today Lovino. I will tell the rest of our party that you will not be joining us for mass today. Bella will be greatly disappointed and worried naturally, so I will send her to check on you later on. In the meantime I suggest you try and rest. Put some cold compresses on that cheek of yours, it should bring down the stinging and swelling."
Just as he was about to close the door and lock the young Italian away his voice dropped lower and took on a slightly icy tone.
"Oh and you are right. America is a very dangerous place. Sometimes serial killers quite enjoy targeting more than one of the same bloodline. Siblings...twins. Yes it's a very dangerous place indeed."
Lovino was too slow across the floor, so he only managed to slam into the closed door with his fists and scream.
"Fucking bastard! Damn you! Stay the hell away from my brother! I'll kill you! I'll fucking kill you if you even think about hurting him!"
He jiggled furiously at the handle and kicked the door several times to try and force it open but all of his efforts were no good and it only succeeded in exhausting him so that he slumped to the floor with his fists clenched against the sturdy oak door.
"Damn you!" he choked through the tears that had started to flow, "And damn myself. I knew you were only planning on having me assassinated. Feli was safe...but now...thanks to my anger getting ahold of my tongue once more..." he lay his head against the door and continued to sob, "Damn. Feli. I have to warn him. I have to convince him that I'm telling the truth. I have to..."
But even as he knew that he had to tell his younger twin about the danger now facing them both, he also faced the reality that at present, locked securely in his room...that was impossible.
~*First Class Dining Area*~
Kiku Honda lead the chorus of the hymn as he looked out over the majority of the first class passengers that had gathered for Sunday Services. In the third row, the Edelstein party was singing sweetly in their different vibratos but he noted that, while they appeared to be singing the song quite reverently and fervently, most of them also seemed to have a distracted heir. Roderich kept glancing over his shoulder as if he expected someone to come bursting into the room at any moment, Elizaveta kept playing with her hair absentmindedly and glancing over at her younger charge, Lili was also looking at the young man but her expression held something like sympathy and fear, Bella was biting her lip occasionally and fidgeting around rather agitatedly, as for Feliciano, the young man was the one that seemed to be keeping up his outward appearance the most, but Kiku could see behind that supposedly devoted and fixed gaze, something akin to rebellion and plotting.
Yes, the small captain mused to himself, They are a most interesting party indeed.
~*SSH*~
Antonio made his way quickly down the stairs in the first class area. Now that he was out of respectable clothes and back in his normal attire, most of the passengers in the area were giving him strange, even cold stares and none at all spoke a word or even gave an acknowledging nod. Nope, unlike last night, he was back to being a regular third class passenger and they all knew it. He grew more nervous now as he approached the dining hall where he could hear fervent singing emerging.
Ah Sunday Mass. He smiled, I guess I'm probably missing our less organized version below decks at the moment.
He shrugged and grinned slightly as he grabbed onto a post of the staircase and propelled himself down more steps. At the clock landing he stopped briefly when he spied familiar faces.
"Hello Mr. Oxenstierna. Mr. Väinämöinen." He grinned and nodded his head at the two men in respect.
The taller simply stared back at him not exactly knowing how to respond but Tino smiled and nodded back.
"Why hello Toni."
Antonio grinned and continued his way downstairs till he could see the fine ornamented doors that lead into the dining hall...and the attendants could see him.
"Sir." The smaller one said nervously and tried to bar his way into the hall, "Sir you're not supposed to be in here."
"I just need to..." Antonio began but was interrupted by the taller attendant coming to the aid of his fellow. He pushed his glasses up his nose and faced the Spaniard square on, "Sir I must ask you to leave."
"But I was just here last night." Antonio tried lamely, "You don't remember me?"
"No sir I'm afraid I don't." the stern Blond responded calmly, "Now if you would please just..."
"Ah he'll tell you." I hope. Antonio tried to smile at the sharp figure of Vash Zwingli that had just pushed open the doors.
"I just need to..." he tried again but Vash interrupted him easily.
"Mr. and Mrs. Edelstein continue to be appreciative of your assistance. They asked me to give you this in gratitude." He held out a crisp 50 dollar bill.
"I don't want your money I just..." Atonio began again but once again the smaller blond man interrupted him with a slightly louder tone than before.
"And also to remind you that you hold a third class ticket and your presence here is no longer appropriate."
"Please I just need to speak to Lovino for a few..." Antonio was growing desperate now but Vash had still not lost his cool as he held out fifties to the two crewmen.
"Gentlemen would you please see that Mr. Carreido gets back to where he belongs and that he stays there?"
"Yes sir." The two men took the money with slight surprise but both pocketed it quickly and turned their attention to Antonio each taking one of his arms and forcing him to walk away.
The young Spaniard kept glancing over his shoulder to see Vash still standing before the doors with his hands behind his back smartly. And Antonio wasn't the only one looking over his shoulder. As the song neared its end Feliciano turned his attention back to the ship captain but his mind was still racing from what he thought he had witnessed. Antonio had been outside the doors, probably trying to get in to talk with Lovino. But it appeared that Vash had made sure that he wasn't successful and the two crewmen had forcefully marched the young man away. Feliciano looked sideways at Roderich. He hadn't believed his guardian's assurances that Lovino was out of sorts and needed rest and therefore would not be attending mass. He had heard the pounding and indecipherable screaming coming from behind his brother's door. And he was almost certain that the only way an upset Lovino would stay shut in, was if he was being forced to by a locked door. Feliciano tried to keep his voice from shaking on the notes of the song as he slipped his hand nimbly into Roderich's coat tail pocket and closed his fingers around the key. With a swift but subtle movement his hand was back out of Roderich's coat and into his own as he finished the final words of the song with triumph.
~*First class deck*~
Lili gazed in awe about the steering quarters.
"I've never been on a ship before." She breathed in astonishment and delight, "This place just keeps opening up new discoveries. Like, why are there two wheels?"
Berwald nodded his head and smiled slightly.
"Ah yes I can see where that could be confusing. Well the one is generally used near shore only."
Tino nodded and beamed at his incredibly knowledgeable partner. But his smile turned into a surprised frown as one of the crewmen came up to captain Honda waving a piece of paper.
"Sir we've just received another ice warning. This one is from the Ukko."
Kiku Honda calmly accepted the note before dismissing the man and turning back to the uncertain group of eyes watching him.
"There's nothing to fear." He smiled ever calmly, "This is very common for this time of year. In fact we're speeding up. I've just ordered the last boilers lit."
~*SSH*~
Antonio gripped onto another bar and hoisted himself up still farther. He was suddenly very grateful for all those times when he had been forced to climb up high fences to escape the officers chasing him. The experiences had broken his fear of heights as well as making him strong and agile. And now, as he hoisted himself up over the top railing and landed silently on the upper class deck, he actually sent good vibe thanks to those officers. He nimbly slipped behind a shade curtain to avoid being seen by some gentlemen teaching a small boy chess. As he slipped out of the shade curtain once more he noticed a jacket and top hat lying conveniently upon a deck chair. It had been years since he had last stolen something and he had told himself that never again would he stoop to that level, but...desperate times call for desperate actions.
And really...he reassured himself as he slipped the clothes off and donned them. I'm only borrowing them temporarily.
~*SSH*~
"Mr. Oxenstierna. Forgive me. I hope I'm not being impolite and forward. See I've done the calculations in my head based on the number of lifeboats and the capacity you said each can hold. And, forgive me, but I'm thoroughly alarmed that there doesn't seem to be enough space for everyone on board."
Berwald raised his eyes and smiled slightly, rather impressed at the young Italian's observation skills.
"They can't even hold half actually." He admitted.
Tino beamed at the young man even as he squeezed his partner's hand reassuringly.
"Feli you really miss nothing do you?!"
Feliciano tried to smile but he still looked thoroughly worried as he walked slightly behind the rest of the party.
"When I first designed the ship I put in some special low walled divots that could hold several boats." Berwald explained, "But it was thought...by some...that the deck would look too cluttered. So I was overruled and the design was changed."
Feliciano nodded in understanding and smiled reassuringly to show that he did not blame the tall stern looking man for the oversight.
"It's a waste of deck space as it is on an unsinkable ship." Bella scoffed, turning her nose at the cloth covered boats.
"You can sleep soundly young Feli." Tino smiled as the group headed on, "Berwald has built you a fine ship. She's sound and true, with all the lifeboats you'll need. We just keep heading along aft and the next stop will be America."
Feliciano was about to follow after them when someone grabbed his arm. He whirled to find a pair of sparkling emerald eyes, slightly shaded by a ridiculous top hat, staring down at him.
"Toni?" he breathed and then allowed himself to be lead away from the party and inside a spacious day room.
"I need to talk to Lovi." Antonio said breathlessly, looking intently at the younger twin, "Where is he."
Feliciano sighed.
"He and Roderich had some form of argument this morning and I believe that he ended up locked in his room."
Antonio's eyes flashed in surprise and anger.
"Your guardian locked him in his room?! But he's a grown man of 18!"
Feliciano laughed nervously.
"I told you I don't know what happened fully, only that Roderich told us Lovi was out of sorts and wouldn't be joining us for mass today, and earlier I had heard screaming and pounding coming from Lovi's room."
Antonio was still in shock and now his fists clenched and his eyes turned hard. Nobody in any way hurt or threatened his Lovino. Nobody.
He caught himself in surprise then and put a hand to his head.
His Lovino? Since when had he started thinking of the fiery young Italian as being his?
Feliciano seemed to be watching his confused thoughts with growing understanding because he smiled and slipped his hand into his pocket to pull out the precious key.
"It's fortunate for you though that I have nimble fingers and the ability to appear so accepting that little actions like thievery go undetected. I swiped this from Roderich's pocket earlier."
He proffered the key to a bewildered Antonio who accepted it after a few moments with a grin and ruffled the boy's hair.
"Why Feli you continue to amaze me, you wonderful mischievous boy."
Feliciano smiled brightly at that and then turned slightly serious again.
"Our quarters are the very last of hallway C and it shouldn't be hard to find Lovino's room once inside. It's the one with the "Keep Out Bastards" sign on the door.
Antonio laughed and leaned forward to kiss the boy on both cheeks.
"Grazie Feli you're amazing. I will pay you back someday I promise."
Feliciano blushed and he looked at the floor suddenly scuffing his feet.
"How about today?"
Antonio blinked at him.
"Que?"
The young man bit his lip before meeting Antonio's eyes once more.
"Information for information. I want to know where Ludwig is."
"Ah." Antonio smiled knowingly, "I thought as much."
He sighed and put a hand on the smaller man's shoulder.
"You do realize that Ludwig may not feel the same way about you right? He's got a tough shell to begin with, but when it comes to things like emotions and accepting them for that matter...I don't think I've ever seen him show much. Last night was probably one of the only times I've seen him genuinely smile in ages. Although..." his smile turned more cheerful and he met the Italian's auburn brown gaze with a hopeful smile, "You might have had something to do with that."
Feliciano caught his breath and smiled hopefully as well.
"Well if you want to find Ludwig, the best place to look is probably the third class deck. He'll most likely be towards the front by the railing."
Feliciano nodded and Antonio held out his hand.
"Good luck to you Feliciano Vargas."
The younger man grinned and shook the others hand firmly.
"Thanks. And good luck to you Antonio Carreido."
~*Third Class Deck*~
Everyone was staring at him, he was well aware of that. Even the deck hands were completely bewildered as to why a first class passenger would be down on the third class deck and walking as if he had a purpose. Well let them stare, because he did have a purpose, he was determined to find Ludwig and make him listen. Make him understand his feelings, and maybe, just maybe...convince him to see if with time, he could come to love Feli as well.
"Well look what came down to our level." A smirking voice called out startling Feliciano from his thoughts. Straight ahead of him was a group of men that he was aware of meeting last night. The one that had spoken, a strange albino? with daring red-violet eyes had his arm around a boy that looked about Feli's age with light violet eyes and incredibly light blond hair that curled up in a strange curly-cue at the tip of his forehead. The boy also seemed to be in a bit of a predicament as the albino was not the only one with an arm around him. On the other side a bright blue eyes and blond haired man was smoking on a cigarette with one hand while the other while the other was thrown around the silver boy's shoulder. This man blew out a puff of smoke as he regarded Feliciano before he smiled seductively and spoke with a heavily French accent.
"Peraps e is lost?" he flicked his cigarette backwards over the railing and stood up straighter to address the young Italian."
"Is dat it bello? Ave you lost your way?"
Feliciano blushed slightly at being called beautiful in his own language as he shook his head.
"N...no...I'm looking for someone...I..."
"Feli?" a deep startled voice spoke from behind him and he whirled around to find Ludwig staring at him in confusion, disbelief, and...could that really be anger? He certainly hoped not.
"Yo bruder. So you know the kid?" the albino grinned waving a lazy hand at the larger man.
Ludwig simply nodded not taking his eyes off the young Italian for a second.
"Oh ho I remember im now!" Francis clapped, "E was dat first class passenger at ze party last night. You remember the one? He got his foot behind his head."
"I remember." The boy between said nervously, "I actually danced with him a bit at one point."
"Ah your right." Gilbert grinned and looked meaningfully at the small Italian, "And he's also the one that was looking down at Ludwig two days ago. Kesesese, what'd I tell ya bruder. You're a handsome son of a bitch to catch a first class cutie like him's attention."
Both Feliciano and Ludwig blushed at that but Feliciano was determined to speak and it was now or never.
"Ludwig we need to talk."
The German sighed and shook his head.
"Feliciano this has to stop. Apart from both being guys you're from high society and I'm...well a mechanic."
"I don't care." Feliciano trembled clenching his hands, "I don't care about class differences or that two guys is generally frowned upon. All I care about is you and..."
"Stop." Ludwig interrupted shaking his head once more and closing his eyes with a sigh, "I don't want to hear a confession. I don't care about what you think you feel for me. I have no idea why you took interest in me or why you seem to think that interest has grown. Dancing with you last night was a mistake. I can see now that it has only confused you more but..."
"That had nothing to do with how I feel!" Feliciano shouted in frustration, "I had been feeling that way long before. I don't know how it happened so fast or why but I...I just..."
He trailed off and Ludwig put a hand to his forehead and closed his eyes once more.
"If you don't know how, why, or where your feelings came from then forget them. And forget me...because I don't feel the same. I'm sorry."
Feliciano kept his head lowered and bit back the tears that he normally would have let escape without thinking. But he couldn't cry in front of Ludwig. Not when the stronger man was rejecting him. He wouldn't let anyone see his weakness at the moment. There would be time to cry later...alone...in his room.
Ludwig was still staring at the younger man before he let out a final sigh and placed a hand on his shoulder.
"You're going to be fine Feliciano Vargas. Lili is a wonderful, beautiful girl, and from what you've told me about her you seem to do well together. She'll make you happy I'm certain of that."
Feliciano still did not look even as he stiffened at the man's words and touch.
Ludwig dropped his hand away again and stepped back turning around.
"I'm leaving now. You should go back to your family. And don't come looking for me again please."
Feliciano stayed still and simply focused on his breathing and keeping the tears back as the German man that he had fallen in love with so easily, walked away...forever.
Even after Ludwig's footsteps were completely gone he still did not move until a gentle hand was placed on his shoulder.
"Hey are you really gonna be ok? My brother's an ass for rejecting you you know. Especially in such a public place. Um...hey you listening?"
Feliciano nodded and wiped a sleeve once across his eyes before turning to face the white haired man with a smile.
"Yeah I'll be fine. Haha he's right, Lili really is a good match for me. She's a real sweetheart. I'm sure we'll have tons of fun together and..."
He stopped short when the older German brother wrapped his arms around him.
"It's ok. You don't have to act brave. Your general appearance and attitude makes it plain that you're not usually afraid to cry in front of others. But...if you don't want us to see...my shoulder is deep enough I think."
Feliciano tried to shake his head and shake the hold off but he was broken at last and sobbed into the man's shoulder with all his might. The group said not a word and looked down at the floor to give him privacy until with a final slight hiccup he pushed away from the German and wiped his eyes once more.
"Thank you. I...I think I'll be fine now...I just...I want to be alone now." He bowed to the three men before heading off farther up the front of the ship towards the stern.
"Poor kid." Francis shook his head in sympathy, "Sometimes your brother really as no tact Gil."
Gilbert sighed and came back to pull Matthew away from the Frenchman protectively again.
"Tell me about it."
~*First Class Sweet*~
"Lovi?" Antonio opened the door into the sweet and looked around. He closed the door softly behind him and whistled at the splendor before him, "Dios look at this place!" The walls were covered in fine paintings and the fine tea table in the middle of the room was decorated in elaborate china. A small crystal chandelier hung from the ceiling and its light sent out sparkles to every corner of the vast room that was already a good amount bigger than the quarters he shared with Gil, Francis, and Ludwig, and this place...was only the sitting room. Why there was even a baby grand piano set near the settee and lounge. He whistled again before the reason of his visit snapped him back to the task at hand. Freeing Lovi.
He began to wander off around the room in search of the door Feliciano had specified and when he found it he grinned. The sign had apparently been nailed on so that it couldn't be taken down easily but it read the same thing Feliciano had said.
Keep Out Bastards
He chuckled and tapped slightly at the door.
"Lovi. Hey Lovi you awake? It's me."
There were footsteps from the other side of the door before a startled voice.
"Antonio? What the hell are you doing in our sweet bastard?!"
The man grinned and was about to slip the key in the door before he had an idea. Talking to Lovino through a door was not exactly how he had originally planned this conversation to go but...it would make it so much easier having the Italian shut in at the moment, where he couldn't hit or run, and where his biting retorts and profane language would be more muffled. Face to face was ideal...but this way was more practical.
"I need to talk to you." Antonio began.
Lovino's reply was as expected.
"I don't want to talk with you fucking bastard. I just want to get out of my room to warn Feliciano."
"Warn him about what?" Antonio asked in surprise.
He heard the younger man draw in a hissing breath from the other side as he must have realized that he let something slip.
"Never mind bastard. I just want out of this room ok."
Antonio smiled.
"And I want to talk. It's a fair trade wouldn't you say."
"Are you fucking blackmailing me with freedom bastard?!"
Antonio chuckled.
"Only if you want to look at it that way."
"All right fine bastard what do you want to talk about?" Lovino's voice sounded slightly defeated but no less irritated.
"Us." Antonio said simply.
Lovino gave an agitated groan.
"There is no us bastard. What have you gotten into your head? That we're an item or something?! Well let me clear that up right away. I am engaged. I'm marrying Bella. In fact..." he gritted his teeth at the lie he was about to tell to save himself embarrassment and possible acknowledgement that what the older man seemed to feel...was possibly returned, "I love Bella. I really do. So there bastard. No more confusion. Now let me out."
Antonio shook his head even though he knew the other man couldn't see him and smiled slightly.
"Lovi you're no picnic. You're a spoiled foul mouthed volatile little brat even."
Lovino gaped at the door in utter shock that the cheerful man had actually insulted him.
"But under all that you're the most amazingly, astounding, wonderful boy...er...young man that I've ever met."
Lovino sucked in a breath at the compliments and forced himself to speak calmly.
"Antonio I..."
"No, no interrupting until I've gotten all of this out Lovi. You're amazing...you..."
Antonio sighed and ran a hand through his disheveled hair and paced a bit before the door.
"Look you may think that I'm just a stupid happy go lucky idiot but I'm not. I know how the world works, in fact I probably know the real world better than you. I've got 10 bucks in my pocket and nothing else to offer you and I know that but..."
He stepped up and placed both hands and forehead against the door as his voice dropped lower.
"But I'm too involved now. You jump I jump remember? I can't turn away without knowing you'll be all right. That's all I want."
Lovino had come close to the door as well and put a hand out to touch it as he forced himself to speak more hateful lies. Lies he would be saying for the rest of his days.
"Well I'm fine Toni. Really I'll be fine."
"Really?" Antonio spoke still more quietly against the door, "Because I don't think so."
He stepped back from it and his voice rose once more so now he was shouting slightly.
"They've got you trapped Lovino..."
"No shit Sherlock I'm fucking locked in my room."
"No Lovi I'm not talking about just today, I'm talking about every day. Every fucking day of your life."
Lovino literally gaped in utter astonishment at the usually overly peppy older man's use of his kind of language. It was strangely...a turn on? No damnit what was he thinking?!
"They've got you trapped..." Antonio began again letting all of his passion and anger at the people controlling his Lovi's life pour out into his words, "And you're going to die if you don't break free."
Lovino laughed ironically to himself at the fact that Antonio didn't even know the half of how true those words were.
"Maybe not today or even tomorrow because you're strong, but soon..." Antonio's voice dropped once again, "Sooner of later that fire that I love so much about you Lovi...that fire is going to go out."
Lovino could feel his body trembling as he clenched his fists against the sturdy door keeping him from the man saying all of these confusion things and making his body react in such unusual ways. How he managed to get control of his voice at that moment was a mystery but he forced out words that he both knew were true and wished weren't.
"It's not up to you to save me Toni."
Antonio nodded and at last slipped the key back from his pocket.
"I know." He fitted the key into the lock and turned it till a click was audible to both, "Only you can do that. However..."
He opened the door to find Lovino standing there staring straight as he had been at the oak surface. He took a step forward and cupped the boys chin in one hand forcing grass to stare into emerald.
"I can promise that when you do break free...I will be waiting to congratulate and welcome you into a new life of your choosing...with open arms."
With that he brought the wonderful, beautiful, dumbstruck boy's lips to his own in what he hoped would be the first of many kisses.
