(Bitter Addiction-Chapter 8)
"Just because I'm losing
Doesn't mean I'm lost
Doesn't mean I'll stop
Doesn't mean I would cross
Just because I'm hurting
Doesn't mean I'm hurt
Doesn't mean I didn't get
What I deserved
No better and no worse
I just got lost
Every river that I tried to cross
Every door I ever tried was locked
Ohhh and I'm...
Just waiting 'til the shine wears off
You might be a big fish
In a little pond
Doesn't mean you've won
'Cause along may come
A bigger one…"
-Coldplay
Lost-
In their once peaceful apartment, in the dark emptiness of a bedroom meant for two, Naruto lay sprawled on the queen-sized comforter, unyielding to sleep and staring at the starch ceiling.
Three days.
Time moved too slow for Naruto's liking. The minutes were inching by, so much so that he felt that he was counting down seconds. It had only been three days since Sasuke's sudden and painful confession. Three fucking days since he turned my life upside down. Another thing Naruto hated was unnecessary cussing, but lately he'd found just reason in letting them loose.
So many thoughts flew in and out of his tattered mind. Where Sasuke had been these past three days? If he was in the arms of his lover, happy and content? Life had been put on a stand still for Naruto. As disgusting as it was, the dishes from the other night were still in the same position as they had been. The area was a dead zone for Naruto. One he couldn't face yet, because then his damn mind would start remembering all over again. All the terrible things Sasuke had said.
After Sasuke had barged out, he had walked to their bedroom, shut the door, and crawled up into a little ball. He had been drifting in and out of sleep. And for the first time in his time, he didn't know what plan of action to take. Normally, Naruto pursued whatever his goal was, however crazy it sounded the others, he went for it.
But right now, in this newfound pain-with a wound that refused to shut, he only wanted to remain still. Because if he thought too much, he would have to face the reality that Sasuke wasn't coming back. No more surprising him at work. No more watching cheeseball romance movies with him…or going for runs on Saturday or going out to eat for ramen on the weekends…He slammed a pillow over his head. He had to stop thinking.
"I have to think about something else…anything but Him."
As if on a cue, the phone rang. Not as if Naruto was going to answer it. It just reverted his thoughts to somewhere else. He listened to the shrill and waited for the beep, wondering whether he would get another message. He had been getting a lot lately.
"Naruto, it's Neji…again. Please return my calls. I've heard at the office that you and Sasuke had a rough breakup. I just want to make sure your okay. Don't make me hunt you down. I'm serious. If I haven't heard back from you by tonight, I'm coming to find you."
That's right, Neji was his friend. He'd left several voicemails. I'm not sure that I can convince you that I'm okay.
"That's alright though. Noone's coming for me."
His stomach growled. I should probably eat, but that means I have to go to the kitchen. I think I'll opt for self-starvation.
The bakery. He should call. Naruto felt a little guilty for dropping the responsibilities on one of the workers, Ten-Ten, but he knew she could handle it. Naruto believed that good cooking took focus and a passion for what you were making. He couldn't muster either of those right now.
In his dreamlike state, he thought he heard the door unlocking and the knob to their bedroom turning softly. Naruto knew he had to be fantasizing, when strong pale arms wrapped around his torso and pulled him closer against a chiseled chest. I'm asleep for sure. He could ask his dream Sasuke questions. He wasn't afraid of his imagination.
"Why'd you go, Sasuke?"
His voice was already cracking. He could feel that deep breathing on the nape of his neck. He missed that so bad it hurt. He wanted the impossible back so much that it burned.
"Don't you know it hurts when you're not here where you're supposed to be…beside me."
Cold hands ran underneath his shirt. I'm such a great dreamer. I love to dream about what I'll never have. Somebody was licking his neck and nipping at his hear. His heart must be getting desperate. That was something Sasuke had never done.
"How am I supposed to go from here where you've left me? I'm not strong enough to pretend like I don't care about you. I'm not cold enough, to shut the memories of you away."
His cheeks were wet all over again. Naruto could scarely believe it. He could've sworn he had dried up. That there were no more tears to cry. Dream Sasuke bit down hard on his ear. He cried out at the sharp burn it caused.
"Do you like hurting me?"
Naruto suspected that he did. Sasuke was one of those people that took a rile out of other people's pains. Funny thing is though, that I don't care. He could hurt me as much as he wanted as long as he stays with me. What he wasn't expecting was his dream man to whisper in his ear.
"Oh yes, I like this new you, broken down and split in pieces."
That deep voice wasn't Sasuke. Naruto recognized it immediately and that was enough for him to shake off his sleep.
"Gaara! What are-what are you doing here? In bed with me?!"
His voice was cracking from lack of use, and he was slightly hyperventilating. Gaara looked so dangerous right now. In the dark with the blinds closed, his flaming red hair stood out and pale skin shined from the shadows. "Lion" struck Naruto.
Gaara pounced up and pinned Naruto underneath him.
"Why I'm comforting you my poor, foolish Naruto."
He blinked his baby blues in confusion. Momentarily forgetting that his best friend was pressed flushed against him.
"You think I'm…foolish?"
Gaara bent down and whispered seductively in his ear.
"Yes, why wanting something you can't have is always a foolish thing."
Naruto pushed Gaara off him, using all his strength to get his rock, hard body off him. A panic was rising in him, the same one he had felt when Sasuke had looked in the eyes and told him he didn't love him.
"You're-Your'e not making any sense. And why…why are you here? You shouldn't be in my bed. "
Gaara moved like a snake. He crawled towards him, a devious leer on his face.
"Naruto, there's so much I've been wanting to tell you. So…so…much."
The way he spoke Naruto's name made him cringe. This was disturbing, painful even. He didn't know how much more he could handle before he shattered completely.
"Did he ever tell you who it was?"
Gaara lightly glided his hand over Naruto's chest. He breathed heavily, now pressed against the headboard completely. Part of him knew what Gaara was asking, but the other part, the more fragile part, didn't want to.
"I'm not…understanding what you mean…"
He tilted Naruto's chin up, so as to look darely into the crystal depths. He drew Naruto forcefully in for a kiss.
"The one Sasuke's been making love to behind your back…the one whose name he screams, bent over backwards and moaning,
is…me."
It was an instant reaction. Clamping down as hard as he could, Naruto bit Gaara's bottom lip. Making sure it was hard enough to draw blood.
"You…it's you he's in love with! But you're my best-how could you?!!"
He wasn't sure what he was saying. Only that the wound, still open wound, in his heart had been ripped open wider.
Gaara was still holding his lip. He tasted the trickle of blood. Oh, how he loved the taste. He stared at Naruto. Carefully calculating his pained expression.
"Yes, yes it was me. And I enjoyed every minute of it. Does it hurt you Naruto? The fact that I betrayed you-does it sting?"
The need to runaway was rising in Naruto. He couldn't take this. Gaara was looking more and more dangerous to Naruto. The swollen lip only made him more menacing.
"Don't you touch me…Don't you come any closer."
He may as while not have said anything. Ignoring the warning, Gaara sauntered over to Naruto. Lifting his own shirt slowly over his head.
"I think it's time we became better friends, Naruto."
It clicked. Naruto knew where this was going. All the while, Gaara smirked. That familiar gleam was there.
"Don't you-Get away!"
He made a move to slip past the taller man, but Gaara grabbed his forearm.
He tugged Naruto toward the bed, the slamming of a door halting his footsteps.
Both heads shot towards the unexpected visitor.
"You, son of a bitch, get away from him."
With that, all hell broke loose in the once quaint apartment.
Okay! First off, you guys are amazing! Seriously, the reviews are half the reason I keep my stories going. Thanks for all the well wishes. I'm sorry I haven't updated sooner. Juggling a full time job and school can really suck sometimes. Looks like things are heating up with BA! Anyone care to guess who the mysterious visitor is?
For those of you that have asked, I swear I'll have the next chapter of Mystified up by Tuesday!
Please review!!!! Thanks, much love-Izzy
