My first time writing …. Sexy stuff. Lots of head-scratching and low esteem feeling. Anyone who has useful tips, please help.

Disclaimer: I don't own Skins, I shouldn't anyway, the things I'd do


Things ran smoothly after our weird, unofficial fist non-date.

Naomi opened up a bit and started to hang out with us more, though not as often as I'd prefer. We texted each other everyday, civilised at school, and during weekends' get-together when she usually joined us, we would sneak out for some heavy snogging. We weren't ashamed of each other, but things were complicated enough, not to mention I was a little selfish. Part of her belonged only to me, I didn't feel like sharing.

We came to visit Jason once in a while. That old geezer fussed over us like a dotting Dad. To be fair, he steered clear from the shipment room, and seemed rather anxious to leave us alone during our toy-gazing trips. Naomi just rolled her eyes and said "I hereby pledge to not ravish Em in front of displayed antiquity", making him blush. She kept her words though, and the Toy Room became our comfort zone. She loved to sit down behind me, on the carpet, held me in her arms, looking up at those children playthings. Sometimes she would recite old fairy tales about Princes and Princesses. At first it freaked me out, because these stories were quite dark compared to the glamoured up Disney versions. When I asked her about it, she shrugged

"Grandmother forbade us to watch TV until we were five, we didn't own a lot of tapes or DVD, just books"

"But it's not like you were trapped inside the house, surely the neighbour kids…"

"Our parents selected our specific playmates"

"What kind of parents would do that?" I asked in surprise

"We didn't get out much" She answered naturally "I was grandma's favourite though, sometimes she took me with her to show me off"

Weird

"You made it sound like you're some sort of exhibit"

"I was"

Oh

I snuggled into hers and felt her heartbeat. Things around Naomi had no sense, no wonder why she behaved so oddly. After a few weeks I started to see the similarity between her, Panda, and even Effy. They all had the potential to become rather extreme, although I did notice that Naomi was the most balanced, Pandora was the sweetest, and Effy was the most natural. When I told her about it, she looked at me, amusement dancing in her eyes "You think? Effy is not one of us, and we were not one of them"

Yes, sometimes all these three needed serious decoding in term of conversation. I learnt to give up.

Oh well, I took what I could get, everything was smooth, so I didn't complain. Even Katie seemed to relax a little, especially today. Our lot bundled up inside Uncle Keith's mad house, drinking, smoking spliff, snorting coke, the usual messy stuff. Naoms, JJ and I were content with our boring routine-which pretty much involved sitting in the corner, playing cards while everyone else got stoned. The first time she came with us, Katie freaked out when Naomi refused the drugs. Not liking the fact that the blonde would stay conscious while she lost control, my sister dragged Freddie and JJ to the furthest table and made them stick with her for some sort of protection.

"What's her bleeding problem?" Cook frowned

"Dunno" My girl smirked playfully "May be she's afraid that I'd fuck her with my big strap-on once she's all high and vulnerable"

"I'd pay to see that" He grinned "Better than Pop's porno, assuming"

Ewww

Anyway, of course nothing happened to Katie. After a few days my sis gained back her bitchy self, and tonight she even shared funny jokes with Naomi before getting her wit out of her mind with whatever Cook brought with him. I did appreciate my friends though, they never forced me to try anything I wasn't ready for, and always made sure that we wouldn't occupy the same spot when they got high. Fortunately there weren't many people at the pub. Well, Uncle Keith's never crowded except for Quiz days, I suspected he kept this hole running by some dodgy business under table. It was nice regardless, having space for ourselves.

"Your turn Emily" JJ urged

I stopped dreaming, began to focus on the cards in front of me. JJ just played a yellow number two. Oh Bugger. I had no two as well as no yellow cards. "Sorry" I said to Naomi, then threw in my last Wild Draw Four.

"Urghh" She groaned, picked up four cards from the deck. "sorry sorry sorry" I kept apologising, She's super bad at Uno, and a pretty sore loser-Worst combination. 'This girl played with too many ancient toys'. I mused

A loud thud suddenly startled us; we scanned the room and caught our culprit. Panda Poo was attempting an escape by climbing on the table, knocking off glasses as she went mucking about, face paled with sickness. Oh no, not again. We always warned her to not drink and smoke dope at the same time, to no avail. Thomas took good care of her. And in his absent-usually work or family related-, Effy would make a suitable substitute. But today even the mysterious Stonem was out of her fucking tits, someone else had to play the nurse. Naomi sighed, dropped her cards, walked over to Panda.

"Come on, don't throw up on me yeah! New shirt" She flung Panda's arm over her shoulders, tried hard to support the girl with her tall body, but Pandora kept wobbling off, her dead weight made Naomi wince in pain

"Sorry J" I left the poor guy alone with his deck of Uno, ran over to Naomi and helped her stable our dear junkie. "Um. No… Thomo" Panda laughed "Oh. No. Naomi… No Thomo" She murmured "Stupid, stupid wanker… Nique ta mere, branleur … No, Not Wanker. Baka, baka neko Thomo… Kawai neko. Whizzer. Mon reve merveilleux"

I knew she sometimes rambled in Japanese when she's high, but this…

"She's learning French?" Naomi tried to speak while carrying the girl to the toilet

"Thomas must have been teaching her. He's from Congo"

"Well, that explained it"

"Her junkie talk?"

"She's.. Ughh" My blonde kicked the door open, guiding Panda to the cleanest stall we could find "always has a knack for foreign languages" She lifted the toilet seat up and rolled Panda's hair into a bun "But whenever she learns something new, it scrambled her brain, killing her English. Nasty side effect" We waited for her to vomit between giggles and laughs, then took her to the nearest sink. It was cute to see Naoms being all motherly, it's a side she didn't show very often.

"Hey Nao chan" Panda played with Naomi's hair while my blonde was wiping her mouth "Let's play… like before"

She proceeded on speaking the weirdest language I had ever heard. Naomi rolled her eyes, scowling "Stay put, you". I looked at the pair, deeply intrigued "What's she saying?"

"It's ancient Greek" Naomi slapped Panda's wandering hands "Oi, careful with the hair. She helped me learn it when we were small, often with poems that I loved… Hey hey hey, stop now, not playing time" But Pandora was having none of it, she kept nagging "Play play play, Nao chan teba… Ok, switch to Sappho, let's play again"

I quirked my eyebrow "Sappho?", which made Naoms blush in her cute little way. She bit her lips, then surrendered to Panda's adorably melodic voice "Ok, ok… only once, alright" She listened to the rhythm, then started speaking in sync. They sung out the ode one after the other, perfectly matched. Their voices were low and soft.

"T'was this deprived my soul of rest

And raised such tumults in my breasts

For, while I gazed, in transport tossed

My breath was gone, my voice was lost

My bosom glowed, the subtle flame

Ran quick through all my vital frame

O'er my dim eyes a darkness hung

My ears with hollow murmurs rung

In dewy damps my limbs were chilled

My blood with gentle horrors thrilled

My feeble pulse forgot to play

I fainted, sunk, and died away"

"A plus" Pandora complimented, which earned another trademark eyes roll from my blonde "we are not seven anymore, come on you, let's get back" She turned to me "Em… uh.. Emily?"

I snapped out of my haze "Oh, sorry" and came over to help her took Panda back. As soon as she snuggled safely in Effy's arms, I grabbed Naomi, fetched our coats, yelled to JJ "This one's not feeling well, taking her home" and pulled her out of the pub. Before she could protest, I pushed her against the wall and attacked her lips "You" I kissed her "Are incredibly sexy" another kiss "reciting poems" she groaned, welcomed my tongue inside her mouth. I dropped out coats on the pavement, using all of my arms to pull her close. My thigh pressed on her centre, and the sight of pleasure flashing through her face was enough to burn me. My body shook, so I tried to stay balance by resting my forehead on her shoulder. Big mistake. Her pale, creamy neck was too near, I found myself licking my way up, lightly bit her earlobe "Beautiful, my beautiful little genius"

"No, No Em" she disagreed, her voice small. She placed her hand on my left chest "The brightness inside your heart, I can't compete"

Before we both could fully appreciate her statement, we froze. Her hand on my breast did things to me. At first she was too scare to move, but once she heard my breath hitched, and felt my heart beating rapidly underneath, she started rubbing her palm against the fabric.

"N..Naomi" I couldn't help it. My knees were getting weaker and weaker. Suddenly it felt like I was wearing too many clothes. I yearned for her, desperately yearned for her.

"My house's near by" she managed to said, the meaning of that jolted me out of daze for a while, but a short while. I felt something stirred inside my stomach, coiling, screaming. "You… you sure?" She didn't answer, may be she didn't know. "Are you?" she asked me back. I remained silent, because I didn't know either. Couldn't think, not with the way she was stroking my breast, looking at me, shaking in my arms.

She grabbed my hair and kissed me with such strength that nearly crippled my legs, her tongue invading my mouth, tasting, exploring. She growled, almost like an animal, then broke away, picked up our coats, and pulled me towards the direction of her house. We ran, ran like a pair of fennec fox dashing through the dessert, we ran like our survival depended on it. Occasionally she stopped to kiss me, telling me how beautiful I was. Fire would then lit inside us like fuel, and we ran again.

She immediately pushed the door open once we reached her home. Gladly blamed it on her hippy mom and the occupants of crazies who never locked anything. Might as well, saved us time finding keys. We stumbled upon several humans sleeping here and there, but got to her empty room unscathed. She kicked the door close, kissed me, guided me to her bed. I felt the soft mattress on my back, I felt her weight on top of me, worst of all, I felt panic rising up. 'It's my first.' I thought, but when I was about to convey this inadequacy, my heart broke.

Naomi' eyes said nothing and everything at the same time. I could hear her silent scream filling the room. 'Look', she roared so quietly, 'I was dead, now I'm alive again, I need you, I want you'. Hope and despair shone from her, conflicting. 'How come? Such beautiful person? Yet such pain?' I took a deep breath, made my choice.

I rolled over, lying on top. I crawled down to remove our shoes, then took her hands, opened them, placing dozens of kisses on her palms, down to her wrists. My mouth sought hers, gently, lovingly. Desperation, panic, and fear screamed out their death, one by one; surrendered to this tranquil serenity birthing in my heart, almost like a miracle. I had found my solace, had found my strength, there's no need to rush, no need to feel clumsy and unsure. I unbuttoned my blouse, finding her eyes on me the whole time, full of hunger. She lifted her hands up to remove my bra, but I shooed them away. "The night's long" I kissed her nose, her eyes. "Naomi, my sweet Naomi" I stripped off her T shirt, and started to worship her neck with my lips and tongue. I trailed down to her collarbone, kissing the valley between her breasts.

"Emily" Naomi growled again, desperate. She grabbed my hair and yanked me away. With sheer strength, she pulled my face up and kissed me, hard. "Stop playing", she commanded, then sunk her teeth on my shoulder, biting, licking. I should have moan in ecstasy, or screamed in pain, but I didn't. I let her carry on with my eyes close, using all that I had to quench the fire she lit. Every cells of my body told me to give in to her touch, I ignored them 'This isn't about me, this isn't about me'

As I predicted, she stopped. I looked at her, right now Naomi's face was a mixture of puzzlement, fear, and vulnerability. "Let me love you" I said, smiling. After giving her a sweet, tender kiss, my hands dug under her back and unclasped her bra. She ached upwards, urging me with her soft, bare breasts "You are very very tempting, you know that?" I teased, but instead of taking her nipples in my mouth, I lower my head, placed my ear on top of her heart, listening to the beats. It drove me wild

"Your heart is beating fast" Oh, how my longing burns. I then placed my lips on her left chest, 'My jewel, My treasure, You're here, you're safe' my soul seemed to sing with each kisses. 'If she was turn into a bear, let me be her forest, if she was lifted up to be a star, let me be her sun. If she's hurt, please let me protect her' I was not a religious type, yet the prayer came out effortlessly.

She trembled, at first I thought she was shaking with pleasure, until my ears picked up sobbing noises. Before I could react, she toppled me, seized the blanket, and cowered inside like a wounded tiger. The bed shook in rhythm with her body. She screeched, screeched like a humming bat would, quiet yet profound. I looked at the bundle of quilt, 'My girl is crying underneath'

"Naom…" I was about to touch the sheeted dome when it suddenly opened up like a mouth of a monster, cutting off my words. Darkness swallowed me whole. I could not see, and was knocked over by Naomi's tall frame. I felt her hands grabbed mine, swiftly pinned me down on the bed.

"Don't do that" Tears fell like raindrops on my face "Don't you ever" Naomi cried. I couldn't see her, not with the heavy quilt looming above us, shutting out all sorts of lights. "Don't give everything you have to me"

"But..."

"Listen Em, the brightness inside you, keep it for yourself. Don't give it to someone you don't know"

"I do know you" I said with conviction

"You don't know a lot"

"I know enough"

"GOD DAMN it Emily" She clenched her fingers, crushing my hands in the process. I bit my lips, tried hard to not scream out in pain "My time, is limited. When you know the truth, you may have to decide"

"D… Decide?"

"To stay with me, or leave"

"What's so bad about staying with you?"

""Em, you…" More tears fell on my face. Those droplets seemed to carry her deepest sorrow, each of them hammered heavily on my heart "There's a chance, that your life won't be yours anymore" Naomi tensed up "I will never allow that to happen"

"A lot of ifs and mights in your sentences Naoms." I struggled to speak "Told you didn't I? I'd take the risk"

"Not like this"

"Like what then?"

"I… I don't know, just... less"

This is getting ridiculous "Naomi" I said as honest as I could "You're a person, just like me, there's no 'less' when it comes to you. I can't give you half of my heart, I don't think I know how"

"No, Emily, No" She sobbed, collapsed on me. "Please, no, no, don't" I embraced her; trying to sooth her "It's ok, it's ok" I kept chanting while wriggling us out of the blanket. Fucking hell, it's hot in there. I breathed, stroking her naked back. At least now I was free from the darkness, and could take a look at Naomi properly. Her skins glittered with sweat, her face buried in my shoulder. She wept, wept like an infant. It pained me so. I held her tight, whispering sweet words to calm her.

"The mermaid will die" Naomi murmured before falling asleep "Nothing but sea foam. The mermaid will die"

Now that the little mermaid knew where the Prince lived. She spent many an evening and many a night at that spot. She swam much closer to the shore than any of the others dared. She even went up the narrow channel to reach the fine marble balcony that threw its long shadow across the water. Here she would sit and gaze at the young prince, who believed that he was completely alone in the bright moonlight…

She heard them praising the young prince, and that made her all the more happy about saving his life on the day he was drifting half dead on the waves. And she remembered how she had cradled his head on her chest and how lovingly she had kissed him. But he knew nothing about any of this…

Said the Witch "Once you take on the form of a human, you can never again be a mermaid. You'll never be able to swim back through the water to your sisters or to your father's palace… If the prince marries someone else, the morning after the wedding, your heart will break, and you will become foam on the waves"…

…"Ah, little does he know that it was I who saved his life" Thought the little Mermaid. "I carried him across the sea to the temple in the woods, and I waited in the foam for someone to come and help. And I saw the beautiful girl that he loves more than he loves me" And the mermaid signed deeply, for she did not know how to shed tears. "He says the girl belong to the holy temple and that she will therefore never return to the world. They will never again meet. I will stay by his side and can see him everyday. I will take care of him and love him and devote my life to him"…

The little Mermaid drew back the purple curtain of the tent, and she saw the lovely new bride sleeping with her head on the prince's chest… She gazed at the sharp knife in her hand and fixed her eyes again on the prince, who was whispering the name of his bride in his dream… The little Mermaid's hand began to tremble as she took the knife-Then she flung it far out over the waves. The water turned red where it fell, and looked as if blood was oozing up, drop by drop, through the water. With one last glance at the prince from eyes half-dimmed, she threw herself from the ship into the sea and felt her body dissolve into foam.

...


Disclaimer:

Sappho's poems belong to Sappho (whoever burnt her works needed to be skin alive) "The little Mermaid" belongs to Hans Andersen. I know they're dead for ages now, so the copy right law shouldn't apply here… though, just to be safe, don't sue.

Please don't hate me, things happen in this chapter for a reason. Hope to get your reviews, like always