-Grace-

"I shouldn't have done that.."

I turned to look at him, feeling hurt and upset, but he didn't look any different apart from the fact his blue eyes had now gone grey. He'd just kissed me, and that was what I'd been waiting for since I'd started staying here and figured out how I felt for him, Tom had seen the looks I'd given Dougie, how I'd always blush when our hands touched or when he talked to me, Tom had noticed all of that but apparently Dougie hadn't. He was too good for me, just like most people were. I was stupid to think he'd even look at me in that way.

"Dougie, you just kissed me and you regret it already? You may have not realized it, because you're like all other men, stupid and blind, but I really like you, have done since I started living here and I thought you liked me back. It was obvious to Tom and now you've blown it just by saying those five words, I hate you!" I screamed at him, throwing the cushion I was hugging at his face before running off to my room hearing Dougie follow behind me and bang on the now locked door. I let the tears flow out of my eyes as my head hit the pillow softly.

"Just go away, please." I sobbed into the pillow, hearing him give up after ten minutes of constant shouting of my name. I'd really done it now, but at least I knew that he didn't like me, I didn't have to keep getting my hopes up when his hand brushed up against mine or when he laughed at my shitty jokes. I should just try and forget about him, I shouldn't even be in this house anyway, I wasn't supposed to be here. They felt sorry for me. There was a reason why he didn't like me though, lots of reasons.

Soon enough my eyes were raw and it had made me more tired than I'd ever been. I was still dressed in the same clothes as I had been earlier, but I didn't have enough energy in me to move and change, so I stayed hugging the small bear Danny had given me with my legs resting in the ruffled up sheets.

That's how I woke up, with my legs tangled in the sheets and still clutching that bear to my chest. I hoped last night had all been a dream, a really bad dream, but a quick look in the mirror told me otherwise and I got up to go and shower and clear my head.

I looked at myself in the mirror, standing sideways to see my stomach. Too big, I was fat. I wasn't pretty and I was completely stupid to ever think he'd like an ugly girl like me. I was fucking disgusting. Probably why Brad didn't want me in the first place, probably why he abused me and told me I was worthless many times. I had to make an effort now, at least. I'd skip breakfast, that would be the first step to losing weight. Yeah, that would be a start anyway.

I took my time getting dressed, longer than I had done the previous days I'd been there. I put more make up on in an attempt to make my face look smoother and more healthy, maybe this dieting stuff would make me look better. Maybe if Dougie still doesn't want me then I will at least have lost some weight, hopefully quite a lot of weight.

This was all for Dougie.