"It was too soon," Aaron said as he moved around the kitchen making dinner. Nick tapped his cell phone on the table, willing it to ring. "I told you he wouldn't go for it."

Nick rolled his eyes. "You said he wouldn't go for it because he didn't think he was really bi. But we found him in a gay club, Aaron. He was going to take the bartender home. I think he has a good idea of what he's interested in."

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean he wants anything to do with us," he said, putting a plate of hot food in front of Nick.

Thoughts rolled through Nick's head as he ate. Twirling his fork in the mashed potatoes, it hit him. "He doesn't want to be with me."

"What?" Aaron asked, looking up from his email.

"He was comfortable with you; he trusts you. Fuck, I found him sleeping on top of you in your bed. He took you home to his house last weekend. He sucked your dick. You're the one he wants," he declared. As the revelation rolled off his tongue, he realized how much it hurt.

Aaron scoffed at him. "You said he held your hand in the car and that the bartender had your eyes. He's more comfortable with me like that because I've worked on it for a bit with him and I haven't been a dick about it, unlike someone else I know."

Nick smirked. "Hey, I got him to ask you out on a date and that landed you two in bed together."

"Yeah well, it also landed you in hot water."

"We've already covered the fact that I'm a dick."

Aaron shrugged, going back to his email. "I'm still pissed at you for that."

Nick sighed. This was exactly like fights with his wife. "I know. Does that mean I'm not getting laid after dinner?"

Raising an eyebrow, Aaron turned back to him. "You got laid before dinner. Twice. I'm tired. And he didn't say no to your date. I think we just took everything a little too fast. Take him out in Chicago and just be normal with him. Show him that everything is still the same."

Nick just nodded, still thinking that Zak just plain was not interested in him.


Zak smiled as he watched Derrick's car pull into his driveway. Getting out, Derrick presented the older man with a bouquet of roses. "Seemed like you had a rough day," he said, presenting them to him.

Zak took the flowers, their sweet smell overwhelming his senses. "You didn't have to bring me flowers," he said, though the smile could not leave his face as he led Derrick into his house. Gracie greeted them at the door. Derrick leaned down to pet her as Zak found a place for the roses.

"So, uh, your friends seem very protective of you."

Zak shrugged as he came out of the kitchen, taking him by the hand and leading him into the living room area to sit on the couch. "They want me to do something that I don't think I'm ready to do."

"What's that?"

Zak just shook his head. "I don't want to talk about them right now," he whispered.

Derrick smiled, scooting closer to him on the couch. "What do you want to talk about then?"

Zak smiled, leaning forward, "Nothing at all."

Taking the cue, Derrick closed the distance between them, running his fingers through dark, gelled hair. He dominated the kiss, taking Zak's breath away as the intensity grew fiercer. With one hand on the back of his head, the other hand roamed the muscular body, pulling at the clothing, trying to move it so he could access the tanned skin.

Zak's senses were on high overload as this stranger ravaged his mouth and his hands roamed his body. The voice in his head was screaming at him to stop and walk out immediately but the hard touch had his body on fire. A warm hand flicked by a nipple, instantly hardening it on its way down to his pants. That same hand rubbed roughly over his crotch, causing Zak's hips to buck against it involuntarily. Derrick smiled against his lips, finally allowing air to pass between them. "Fuck, babe, you're ready."

A very unmanly whine escaped his lips that he would forever deny as he was lowered down onto his back on the couch, his tshirt having been ripped off his body. Derrick stood up, shedding himself of his clothes before moving his hands to Zak's pants. Closing his eyes, Zak held his breath as the final pieces of clothing were removed from his body. "Hey…," Derrick whispered softly as he straddled the slim hips. "You ok?"

Zak opened his eyes, staring up into dark concerned eyes. Nick's eyes. "Yeah," he answered, "Just fine." Raising up, he tried to recapture his lips, but was denied as the younger man pulled back.

"You're not with someone are you? Nick or Aaron? I don't want to-"

Zak shook his head quickly, running his hands down the chest above him. So much different from Aaron's, he thought. "No. I told you in the bar I don't have anyone."

Cocking his head to the side, Derrick still didn't seem pleased with this answer, but he let Zak's hands continue to roam his body. Fingers danced around his muscle as his blue eyes followed the movements. He shuddered as fingertips danced over the head of his cock, wiping up the small dribble of precum that had escaped from the head, bringing it up to his lips. Tastes similar to Aaron.

"You're new at this," Derrick finally said. The panic that arose in Zak's eyes gave him all the confirmation he needed. "It's ok," he said, laying his body down along Zak's, rolling his hips slowly. "You seem to know what you want."

Zak smiled. "I do."

"Do you have any lube then? Or lotion would work."

Zak nodded. "But I have to get up to go get it, or you could come to the bedroom with me."

His heart fluttered in his chest as they ascended the staircase to his bedroom. Zak looked at the bed as he entered, thinking the last time anyone had been in it with him it had been Aaron. Why did he feel like he was cheating when they weren't even together? Climbing on the bed, he felt Derrick climb on behind him, hands on his hips as kisses were laid across his back as he reached into the nightstand drawer for the lube and a condom. Fingers danced lightly over his asscheeks before they were grabbed roughly. Zak moaned as a thumb grazed over his tight hole. This evening was not going the way he had planned. He had not even considered bottoming tonight. He wasn't sure that this was where he wanted it to go…

But the lube and condom were taken out of his hand before he had time to react. A pillow was taken from in front of him and slid underneath his hips. "This will make it easier for you," Derrick said, running a hand down Zak's back. "You have beautiful tattoos, Zak." Kisses were placed up his spine as he felt a wet finger trace around his hole before gently pressing in. His body arched as he fought against the intrusion, Derrick's other hand coming up to trace lightly along his side, whispering words of encouragement in his ear. "You're so beautiful naked." Kisses were scattered along his shoulder blade up to his ear. Another finger attempted to push inside him and Zak's body tensed as his hands gripped the bedsheets tightly. "You've never done this before."

Zak shook his head furiously from side to side, his eyes clenched tightly shut. "No," he grunted. His hardon was slowly dwindling with the pain of being breached. This was not how he imagined it. This was not what Aaron and Nick made it out to be. He shouldn't have done this. He shouldn't have done this. Tears threatened to fall from his clenched shut eyes as he thought Nick and Aaron would have made this so much easier. He should have let them… But before he could say 'No' the fingers inside him twitched, flicking over what he assumed was his prostate as he felt his nerves light on fire with pleasure. "Holy fuck," he grunted instead. A few more flicks and his hardon was raging once again between his legs, and he was even pushing back against Derrick's hand, panting, wishing the feeling would never stop. He whined as the fingers left him, but felt the warm body align behind him.

"This is going to be a little different, but trust me, ok? I don't want to hurt you so I'm going to go slow. Let me know if it's too much and we can stop."

Zak nodded, grabbing a pillow to lay his head against, clinging to it as he felt the blunt head of his cock push inside. The pressure was intense, but the lube helped the slide as he pushed all the way in slowly. Derrick's voice dropped an octave as he whispered huskily, "You ok?"

Zak nodded into his pillow, trying to control his heartbeat and his breathing. Slowly, the hips behind him began moving. Zak felt as if every nerve ending on the bottom half of his body was alive and thrumming. A hand held onto his hip as the other traced around, wrapping around his cock, making him scream in surprise. Derrick chuckled above him, "It's ok. Fuck, Zak you're so tight."

Zak raised up on all fours, beginning to meet Derrick's thrusts with his own. His balls were heavy between his legs as their bodies collided together. Zak's eyes rolled in the back of his head as he felt the head of his cock slide over his prostate again on its way by. Ok so this was exactly the way it was described to him. Fingers curled in his dark bedsheets as the sounds of sex filled the air, their bodies meeting faster and harder. Zak could not catch his breath as they moved; his head was swimming. Briefly, he thought he might lose consciousness.

Derrick grunted behind him, still pumping Zak's cock in his hand. "Damn, babe, you're close." Pulling out, he flipped Zak over onto his back, pulling his legs apart as he entered him from the front. "I want to see you cum."

Zak lay on his back, stunned at the sudden change in position. Staring up into a face that was unfamiliar to him, but those eyes… His body moved against the bed with the force of Derrick's thrusts, but Zak's gaze never waned. His body tensed with his impending orgasm as he ran his hands up the strong arms. Feeling his balls tighten, his cock erupted, sending streaks of hot cum across his stomach. His vision closed in on him, darkness coming from all sides as he stared up into those familiar eyes, seeing Nick's face in front of him.

Hours later, Zak woke up. The darkness in the room told him the sun had not come up yet. Strong arms were wrapped around his body, hugging him tighter as he shifted the closer he got to full consciousness. For a fleeting moment, he thought it was Aaron, but those weren't Aaron's hands. His ass hurt and he remembered well who this man was behind him. Reaching down, he realized that Derrick had cleaned him off. He must have passed out. Zak sighed. What a great way to end a first experience with someone – passing the hell out before the other person can even get off.

Derrick stirred behind him, his hands flexing on his stomach. "Hey, sleepy, you awake?" he asked groggily. "You passed out on me there. I was a little worried."

Zak smiled into the darkness. "Yeah… sorry," he said, turning in his embrace.

Derrick pulled him in closer, nuzzling their noses together. "It's ok. Kind of awesome to know that it was so good you couldn't handle it."

Zak laughed, wrapping his arms around this stranger in his bed. This absolutely adorable stranger. "Guess I have to make that up to you, huh?"

"How about you make me breakfast in a few hours?"

Zak smiled. "I can do that."

"Ok, now go back to sleep. I have to work tomorrow."


Zak waved as Derrick pulled out of the driveway to go back to his own house to change. Picking up his cell phone in the living room in his clothes he had abandoned there the night before, he checked through his messages. Several were business related but most were Nick and Aaron wondering if he was all right and asking him to call them when he could. Zak considered calling them, but it felt weird. He felt like he had just violated their trust and like he was cheating. But he wasn't cheating. He hadn't told them that he would be in a relationship with them. They didn't even love him! Well, Nick didn't. Or at least, he thought he didn't. He loved his wife and Aaron. How could he love Zak too? Aaron though… Zak's heart pained to think of it. His body felt violated, but his heart was elated. Being with Derrick the night before had been like sharing a secret that he had kept hidden for so long. But that secret was so precious that now he had that fear that Derrick would go tell everyone. Shit. Maybe Nick was right. Maybe this was a bad idea. Nick. Zak remembered Nick's face being the last thing he saw in his mind's eye before he passed out the night before. Those eyes…

Sighing, Zak picked up his phone and walked outside on the back patio with Gracie before dialing Aaron's number. He picked up on the second ring. "Hey, you ok?"

Zak smiled into the receiver. "Yeah, I'm fine, why?"

"Because we've been trying to get ahold of you for the past four hours."

"Oh? Sorry I was busy."

The line stayed silent for a moment. Zak knew that Aaron wanted to ask but he wouldn't. Zak didn't want to tell him. Deep down, he knew that would hurt their eldest. Nick had already left a scar on his heart, Zak couldn't do that too. But he just wasn't ready…

"Nick and I were wondering if you wanted to go play some golf today."

"Oh, yeah. We could totally do that."

"Great. Pick you up in 30?"


Two days later, the four men sat in the airport terminal waiting for their flight to be announced. "Dude, you're on your phone more than Aaron and I now, what's up?" Billy said, trying to lean over to see who he was texting.

"Get off, Bill. None of your business, bro."

"Did you get a new girlfriend in between lockdowns?" he asked, wiggling his eyebrows.

Casting a quick glance over to Nick and Aaron, he mumbled a quick, "No."

A text message from Nick showed up on his phone. Opening it, he knew what it was going to say already. Did you fuck that guy from the bar?

Zak fired back, looking up to see Nick's reaction to his response. What if I did?

Nick's face hardened and he pocketed his phone only to pull it right back out and send him a response back. Don't tell Aaron. He thinks you're too precious

Zak snorted, pocketing his phone as their flight was announced overhead. He didn't need to be babied and he certainly didn't need people worrying about him. Zak Bagans could handle himself. Settling down into first class, he pulled out his phone again to tell Derrick that they were on the plane. Nick's seat was conveniently next to his. "Boyfriend now?" he whispered.

Zak shook his head. "No… just a person."

"The guy who has my eyes?"

Zak looked away toward the window. Fuck he had said that didn't he? "So what if he does?"

"What the hell is wrong with you, man?" Nick whispered fiercely. "What you're doing is dangerous."

Zak whispered back, "What I'm doing is dating and trying out something new. You're the ones that started this. Excuse me if I want to expand my experiences."

Nick sat back in the airline seat. The waitress came by asking for drink orders and he ordered a shot of tequila. The fact that Zak felt the need to experiment behind their backs hurt him in ways that he knew it shouldn't. Zak was a grown man who could do whatever he wanted. He had not said yes to them. Maybe Aaron was right. Maybe it was too soon, but maybe Zak didn't quite know what he was getting into. Downing the amber liquid, he felt the blue eyes on him. He looked over, locking with them momentarily before Zak turned away. Nick dared to grasp his upper thigh, squeezing slightly before letting go. Leaning over, he whispered in Zak's ear, "I fucking love you and I don't want to see you get hurt. That's all."

Turning on him, Zak sneered, "You love Aaron but you still hurt him." He instantly regretted his words but they were true. Neither could deny it, but Nick's words etched into Zak's head. They repeated over and over again on their flight to Chicago. I fucking love you I fucking love you I love you I love you…