Author's Note: Many thanks to all who reviewed. You can't even imagine how much reviews motivate me. Last chapter many of my regular contributors didn't review, and that saddened me, but then I got a bunch of anonymous ones and that perked me right up. I guess it's sulky and silly of me to be so affected, but that is my way. Please, please, drop a few reviews. Your suggestions are exceedingly helpful.

Droopy Breeches

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August 3, 1976

From the notebooks of Sir Prongs namely James Potter

I told Sirius before that playing quidditch in Godric's Hollow was nearly impossible due to my aversion to hurting young children, but now that all my friends are here (and I suppose Fabian . . . the git) we have enough people for a decent game. Unfortunately, we don't have all the official quidditch balls, so it becomes more of a goal scoring oriented game instead of the traditional maim the seeker hour.

At noon, my friends and I started playing simple two on two quidditch: in which Remus sits lazily by the goal post (though when the ball actually gets to him he's a passable keeper) while I try to score against Peter and Sirius's sloppy tag team. It ends up being a rather good match as I'm great, Sirius is good, Peter is passable, and Remus doesn't care.

We'd been playing for about an hour when the first of Godric's Hollow's resident quidditch junkies showed up: Fabian with Emmeline and her messy sister.

"Hey Jamsie," called yon git, "I think some additional players could spice up your game."

Well, we were on my pitch and I was still a nice bubbling pot of resentment towards Fabian, so I said, "Sorry Fabian, but we were just about to quit."

"No you weren't James," barked Emmeline, "your quidditch matches typically go from lunch until it's too dark to avoid any bludgers. It still looks pretty light to me."

"Well, there are three in your group, the teams wouldn't be even."

"If that's the case," sighed Remus, "then I don't need to play anymore. I actually have some reading I'd like to catch up with."

"That's not necessary, Remus, you shouldn't have to quit playing just because they showed up."

"But I want to quit playing."

"James, it looks like we have more company, maybe the teams will be even," said Fabian pointing to the approaching Frank and Alice.

"But that's two people. We'd still have a problem," I barked.

"No," said Fabian, "I'm certain that Frank will refuse to play."

"Lucky," murmured Remus.

Alice bypassed Fabian and company and strolled right up to me. "Hey, James, can I join you for some quidditch?" she shot me a lopsided grin and I found myself beaming in return. Alice's pale hair coupled with her round face gained a sunbeam quality when she smiled. She was so warm and adorable that I just couldn't refuse her. "Yeah, Alice, we needed a person to balance us out."

So, slightly reluctantly, I reorganized the teams according to my preference: Me, Sirius, Moony, and Alice versus Fabian, Emmeline, Emmelines's kid sister, and Peter. This wasn't perhaps the most fair arrangement, as Me, Sirius, and Alice were all good and Fabian was the only truly skilled player on their team, but 1. I didn't want anyone I was really irked at on my team and 2. Fabian wouldn't play against his dearest Emmeline.

And yet, after another hour of play or so my team was only slightly ahead. Remus's total indifference hurt the team, as did the discovery that Maggie, Emmeline's sister, was actually a superb chaser. Now that I'd caught on to that I was having Alice whack most of the enchanted boulders we were using as bludgers her way. And yet, the ragamuffin was an excellent dodger. Maybe I should try to get her on the Gryffindor team.

"Hey, Potter," called a voice from the side of the pitch, "Potter, I'd like to play." I looked over and saw Mary McDonald, but sadly no Lily.

"We're full McDonald, sorry," barked Sirius.

"No, we're not," bellowed Remus. "This time I'm really getting out. Hey Mary, you can have my spot." Remus flew down and strolled towards Frank, who was reading in the shade. Mary stared at Remus's retreating figure for a few moments, but then collected his broom and flew up to join our team.

"Hey McDonald, where's Evans?"

"Not that it's any of your business, but she's busy right now."

I was slightly surprised at Mary's sharpness, normally, despite Lily often getting irked at me, Mary and I maintained a relatively cordial relationship. "Whoa, Mary, I was just inquiring. No need to bite my head off."

"Sorry, James, but I'm a little bit worried about Lily right now, she's been acting erratic for about a week."

"Erratic how?"

Mary looked uneasy; she was probably hesitant to divulge any concrete information on her friend to such an untrustworthy fellow as I. " Just, distant. Nothing much, maybe I'm just worrying too much."

"Oye, Potter! Quit flirting with McDonald and let's start this game," yelled his royal gitishness.

"Hey McDonald, let's destroy Fabian's team."

"Let's," grinned Mary . . . and we did, thoroughly. With a keeper who actually gave a rat's ear about the game being played around them our lead increased to monumental proportions. Fabian's fellow teammates became rather annoyed with his bellowing and it showed in their game. Every time Alice blocked one of Maggie's plays Fabian gave her an earful, at which point she would turn to her sister and give her a tongue lashing for not keeping her boyfriend in line. Emmeline yelled at both of them, and Peter at the goal posts kept his head low and tried to avoid the eyes of the rest of his team.

Basically, the game had devolved into a rather hilarious spectacle by the time my mum came out with iced lemonade and cake. We all flew down, and even Remus and Frank pulled themselves from their books. My mother is universally considered one of the best cooks in Godric's Hollow. Before settling down with my dad and having me, she had been a Honeydukes candy maker, and not one of the twisted ones who came up with all the trick sweets, but the inventor of such sweets as volcanic cauldron cakes and raspberry sugar quills.

Frank took one look at the platter of cakes that my mother laid on the table and turned away his back trembling with repressed chuckles.

"Hey Longbottom, you okay?" asked Sirius, downing a glass of lemonade.

"Yeah, sorry. I just remembered something funny."

"What?" I asked.

"It's no big deal, just something personal."

Frank was acting suspiciously. I stored it away for later use. Despite a few chats and letters since the incident I still wasn't sure of what had happened or the outcome of the whole Frank and Lily adventure.

My mother grinned as she watched Remus shove bite after bite of chocolate lava cake down his throat. "James, please make Remus come over to stay more often he does credit to my cooking."

Remus mumbled something between chocolate chunks that sounded vaguely like, "mnoot mneeemded it's fambumlous evem wimout me." Mum beamed and headed back indoors.

"Hey Mary," I whispered, looking carefully at Frank, who was still contemplating his cake, "Mary, do you think that Lily and Frank's da—thing has anything to do with her strange behavior?"

She narrowed her eyes at me. " How do you know about that? You weren't at the party and you certainly aren't in Lily's confidence."

"Ummm . . . Frank mentioned it." A total lie, but I couldn't have her reporting on the whole spying business what with Fabian was being shockingly discrete.

"Really? What did he say about it? Lily won't tell me anything, and I'm just dying to know."

"He didn't say anything beyond that he and Lily snuck out of the party together and were spending some time together."

"But even that in itself is shocking. I can't believe that Lily would really go and do something like that. Whenever we'd tease her about Frank before she always totally shot us down. Do you think they have something going on?"

No. No. No. I hope not. But before I could express this sentiment, though I would have worded it more delicately, Maggie, who was seated next to Mary, jumped in. "If not now, then they probably will soon. Don't you think that they would make a nice couple, Mary?"

"I've always thought that," she said nodding her head with enthusiasm. "He's smart, funny, good looking," and at this she shot a look at Remus. Weird girl, but maybe Sirius was right about the whole fancying Moony bit. "Plus," she continued, "I think that he has a personality that would go really well with Lily's; he'd be the ice to her fire."

I don't know why people are always trumpeting around that cliché. If fire and ice were literally dating, they would destroy each other. The ice would melt into a nice puddle and then squelch the fire, and ultimately all that would be left is ashy mud. It would much nicer for the fire to find some hearth and the ice to find a freezer. These raw elements need care and a place to be loved. I'd be that place. I'd be her hearth, much better than Frank taking out all her spark.

Mary had continued while I was lost in my thoughts. "Yeah, but I don't think anything can come of it immediately because Lily's leaving."

"WHAT?!" yelled Frank and I in unison.

Mary blushed; Frank had clearly been eavesdropping on her gossip. "I-I, Yeah. That's why she's busy today. She's packing up her bags so that my family can drive her home tomorrow morning."

"That's not necessary," said Frank, "she could just use my fireplace and go by floo. It'll save her hours off her journey."

"But you forget that Lily is muggleborn. Her home isn't hooked up to the floo network."

"Still," said Frank, his brow creasing, "This seems sudden. She hasn't been here very long."

"She's been here a full month, and I think she really wants to spend the rest of the summer with her family," said Mary.

"But Lily doesn't get on very well with some of her family. Isn't that why she came here in the first place?" piped in Fabian.

"I thought so," sighed Mary, "but she insists on going home, and who am I to argue."

I sat frustrated. I couldn't believe that Lily was leaving already. Her stay in Godric's Hollow was supposed to be my opportunity to spend more time with her. Yet, I'd only actually talked to her that one time at the store. Since then, I'd seen her a few times working in the gardens at Mary's, but I'd tried to do the tasteful thing and not bug her. Now she was leaving, and I'd wasted all my time. Blast my stupid tastefulness.

Across the table Frank looked similarly troubled, so Fabian, git that he is, swooped in for the kill. "Speaking of Lily, I'd like to finally know what happened after you snuck away from dear Augusta's party."

It seemed like everyone was similarly interested, I certainly was, because we all turned intently towards Frank.

"Umm—I don't know if I should. I mean it's private, you know?"

"Oh," said Fabian smugly, "did you and Lily get up to something that you feel obligated to keep private? Frank, I didn't know you had it in you."

It's odd; I wasn't seeing red, though I think that's how the emotion would be described, but my vision had blurred and fixed to the point where all I saw were the pastel blobs of the flowered table cloth.

"No," said Frank, "Nothing like that. We just went to a bakery and got cake, and . . . then she smashed the cake it my face."

I looked up sharply. That's my girl. But what did that indicate? Though I applauded her for the act, I doubted that Lily would do such a thing unless thoroughly provoked. What had Frank, the cad, done to her?

Fabian was laughing wildly. "What did you do to piss her off, Frank? I'd hardly think Lily would approve of such a wanton waste of cake."

"I—I was just being a git. It's no big deal; I deserved it."

"So, then," said Emmeline, "I guess you and Lily are through."

"Not necessarily, she gave me permission to ask her out later. I'm not quite sure what that means, but it's not a definitive no."

"Permission to ask her out?" said Sirius incredulously. "Evans seems to be really making you jump through the hoops. Sure you're up to it?"

"Hopefully, and if anything comes of it, then it's worth it. She's an amazing girl."

At this point Alice jumped up and squeaked, "Bathroom!" She'd been totally silent throughout the conversation and I'd forgotten she was there, but I shared her fleeing sentiments.

"I'll go with her," I said.

"I doubt Alice requires assistance," sneered Fabian.

"What I mean is I need to go inside and-and-" I glanced at the table, "and get more lemonade. I'll be back in a minute."

I dashed after Alice, desperate to escape before Frank dished out any more details. Maybe I'd regret missing them later, but I could hardly stomach it now. Lily had given Frank permission. How much farther was permission from an actual acceptance? No, no, no. Their date was supposed to have gone badly. Lily was supposed to wait until I was worthy of her. No, no, no. What else had Frank done to Lily on their date? I saw the image of them seated at a table for two swimming before my eyes: Lily throwing back her fire stream hair as she laughed, Frank taking her hand, Frank staring into her grass green eyes. I swatted it away. Improbable, it was highly improbable that their date could have gone that well if Lily had then smashed some cake into his face.

Inside, Alice was seated at my kitchen table, and all the sunshine had drained from her face. I slid into the chair next to her and waited. I've said this before about Sirius, but I think it's a good tactic with many people: just wait in silence, if they want to, they'll talk.

"I hate it," murmured Alice, low and monotone. "I hate it. I hate how everyone loves her. Frank loves her. Fabian loves her, but she wouldn't give him the time of day, so he moved onto Emmeline. All of them, all of the boys love her." She looked up at me with piercing eyes. "Even you love her. Anyone who's not daft sees the way you drool in her wake. Why James? Why do you all waste your time with her? She has everything, the love of everyone, but she doesn't even care."

"Alice, I think you're exaggerating a little."

"Fine. She might not have everyone, but she has enough. She has Frank. She has him." Her face drained of color and she looked down into the whorls of the table's wood.

"Alice . . ." I reached to touch her arm. I wanted to convey understanding because I, of course, felt identical emotions to her. But she knocked my hand away.

"Why didn't you tell him?"

"Huh?"

"Frank is dense. He must be the only person in Hogwarts who didn't know about your feelings for her. If you had mentioned your feelings, just once, if you had told him he wouldn't have acted. Frank values your friendship too much to hurt you, but you never bothered to tell him. You never told him and now it's too late. Now he's caught in her net. And . . ." Alice's blue eyes wavered close to tears, "and Mary's right. They're perfect for each other. Now, neither of us have any chance."

I consider myself a pretty optimistic person, but I admit Alice's words hit me hard. Suddenly, the image of Lily and Frank was back, but this time they were locked in an embrace, this time their hands bore bonding rings, this time I saw the rightness of the picture. Alice was right; Mary was right; Sirius was right; Everyone was right. They were perfect for each other. Maybe, this was why I hadn't been able to interfere earlier. I'd jokingly discouraged Frank, but I never told him to back off. Why hadn't I told him? Why hadn't I?

"Alice, they aren't even dating right now. We're panicking a mite bit early. And . . . and if they are right for each other," The words tasted bitter. "Even if they are right, then you'll—we'll find someone else. We're teenagers no need to get all despairing."

"But I don't want someone else. Frank is right. I want Frank."

"I know." We sat in silence for a few minutes, and then Alice gave me a long hug and slipped away out the side door. I didn't feel like going back to the pitch, but I dragged myself back to avoid suspicion. I told them Alice had gone home sick. That combined with the bad will still lingering among Fabian's group effectively ended our quidditch game.

Mary and Fabian and company split off to their respective houses. The marauders and I cleaned the pitch, but while I sorted the equipment Remus pulled me aside.

"James, you look terrible."

"Remus, is everyone right? Are Lily and Frank just perfect for each other?"

"James, you already asked me this question, and I gave you the same answer I'm going to give now: we don't know what Lily's thinking. We aren't qualified to answer this question."

"I know you said that it would be a slow process, winning Lily, that it couldn't be done with magic, but what if it can't be done at all? What if I'm striving for something that's already gone?"

"Then give up, James. Don't waste your life or your energy engaged in a fruitless effort. But, if I were you I wouldn't be so quick to assume that your efforts are fruitless. It's always darkest before dawn."

"I'm sick of muggle clichés." And I left him and walked inside.

I'm a fellow who likes to laugh. I'm a fellow who has rather a lot of trouble taking anything seriously. Yet now, I'm the fellow who feels like he has bruised ribs. I'm tired of this ache. I wish I knew a way to make it leave. I wish there was magic for that.

Tastefully Yours,
James

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August 2, 1976

Dear Lily,

How's my dearest little carrot doing? I know that you're having fun with your friends, but your father and I miss you every day. Petunia has gotten a job in a flower shop, which is just perfect considering how your father and I named you two, our little flowers. Because of her job, we don't see as much of Petunia as we'd like. It seems like she's either off at the flower shop or off with that boyfriend of hers.

The boyfriend is actually the reason I'm writing to you. Petunia's boyfriend proposed to her a few days ago and she's just accepted. You can imagine how excited your father and I are. I get to plan the summer wedding I've always dreamed of, for Petunia plans to get married in June next summer.

If possible, I'd like you to come home soon and meet Vernon, Petunia's fiancé. He's always wondering why you're not around. I've told him you're with friends, but Petunia must have given him a confusing account of you because sometimes when he mentions you it sounds like we've sent you away for medical help. It would be very nice if you could come meet him and show him what a lovely person you are. I want us all to be a big happy family one last time before we lose Petunia for good. I get that you and Petunia often don't get along very well, but please come and just try your best. I miss you very much.

Love,
Mum

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My Prefect Notebook

August 3, 1976

Four days ago the Daily Prophet had an account of the killing of three muggle families. I'm used to that kind of news, horrid as it is, but what really rattled me this time was the location: Mill Glen, London. Mill Glen is just across the street from Spinner's End. These attacks were not three miles from my house. The Prophet said that the killings were of random muggles, but if there are deatheaters in that area than how much more likely are my family to get attacked being connected to a mudblood like me? I will not be responsible for anything happening to my family.

Thus, my mother's request that I come home to meet Tuney's boyfriend was surprisingly welcome. As much as I'd rather not deal with Tuney at her most sickly sweet, I won't feel easy until I can see for myself that mum, dad, and Tunia are safe.

Also, as guilty as this makes me feel, I'll be glad to get out of Godric's Hollow to have a break from Frank for a while. I still have no idea how I feel about the whole Frank issue. But until I make up my mind, I'd rather not keep running into his mother. I never noticed before the party how often she comes into McDonald's Grocers. You'd think that once or twice a week would suffice, but apparently Mrs. Longbottom insists on fresh produce daily.

Every time I see her imperiously strolling in here, I feel the need to hide behind the largest vegetable display available. I have no idea how much she knows about the whole Frank and I sneaking off debacle. From what Mary told me of her past behavior I get the impression that she normally responds very badly to Frank's antics: what with all the scone throwing. If Frank had been telling the truth and his house elf really watched the front door, then Mrs. Longbottom must know that I'd snuck off with Frank. Did that mean that she would be equally irate at me? Who knows, but for now I feel safest avoiding her.

Yesterday, Frank himself popped in trailed by Alice and Fabian. As much as I would like to get in a few words with Fabian, I wasn't up to seeing Frank. So, I hid in the store closet, where we keep the garden tools. I know . . . irony of irony. I, the great hater of mischief in closets, found myself hiding within one. Mary, who seems upset with me for all of my evasiveness, told me that Frank lingered for about ten minutes before leaving with his produce. It's nice to know he cares, but I can't face it right now.

Still, I was feeling sad that I'd missed the opportunity to say goodbye to Fabian. It'd been nice to get the opportunity to see him a few times this summer. Admittedly, he'd spilled some of my secrets to Frank, (Well . . . I guess not secrets. But he'd certainly gossiped about me with him.) but I really appreciate all that he's done for me over the years. It's definitely due to Fabian's charm tricks that I managed to scrape off my O. So, when Mary told me that she knew for a fact that Fabian was at Emmeline's house without Frank I decided to run over there quick to say my goodbyes.

I took a back road that cut through some fields, but was decidedly more scenic (Plus, totally deserted.) than the main route. It was really a lovely day, or the lovely conclusion of a lovely day. The sunsets in the clear forest kissed air of Godric's Hollow never failed to astonish me. I mean, my neighborhood still had sunsets, but the air was so much cleaner here. I knew I'd have to leave, I even welcomed it, but still . . . I'd miss the beauty.

As I walked along the lane, I caught a brief glance of James Potter and Sirius Black through the trees. Yet when I turned into the grove in which I'd seen them I couldn't see Black anywhere, only Potter and a large black dog. My foot crackled against the underbrush and Potter jumped up from where he'd been kneeling next to the dog.

"Lily—um, em, Evans, good to see you here."

I looked all around the grove, but I really couldn't even see a trace of Black. I swore I'd seen him. "Potter, where's Black?"

Potter paled and shot a glance at the dog. "Ummm . . . I'm pretty sure he's back at my house. Why? Do you need him?"

"No, I just swore I saw him. Are you sure he wasn't here?"

"Umm-ah- no. Just me and . . . " he took a long pause staring at the dog, "and Padfoot. Me and my dog Padfoot."

The name struck me as familiar. Had I heard Potter talking about his dog before? Then I had it: it was one of the stupid nicknames he and his friends used, the one for Black. "Isn't Padfoot what you call Black?"

"Yes well—that's because Sirius acts quite a bit like Padfoot, who is my dog." Potter was glaring at the dog and mussing up his hair. It's a habit I really detest because I know that he does it just to attract attention, and also because it makes him look like he just got struck by lightning. It's so stupid looking that I'm not quite sure why he does it so often.

I felt something wet on my hand and looked down to see the great dog nosing it. I have a soft spot for pets, even if the poor beast was Potter's; I gave him a good scratching behind the ear. The dog seemed to love this, (I bet Potter never showed him much affection) and he jumped up planting his great paws on my shoulders and began to lick every inch of my face. I appreciated the affection, but the dog was so massive and enthusiastic that I found myself toppling backwards.

Potter dashed forward and heaved Padfoot off me. "Bad Dog! Bad Padfoot! Get off of Lily right now!" Potter pulled me up and shot Padfoot a glare of intense annoyance. "Sorry Evans, I'm not sure what's come over him. He knows better than to behave this way. I'll make sure he's properly punished for it later."

This made me feel quite alarmed. What kind of cruel boy was Potter if he'd punish his dog for simple exuberance? "No need to do that; he was just being a dog."

"He certainly was," Potter's voice still contained a touch of the annoyance, but he sighed and released the dog's collar. Padfoot ran back over and rolled on the ground beneath my feet. I bent to scratch his belly.

"Um . . . Lily—Evans, do you have any pets? You seem to be quite good with them."

"No, I don't. I used to have a cat, but he died."

"Oh, I'm sorry." Potter looked alarmingly sincere in his apology, especially over such a small thing.

"It's okay. It was a long time ago. But somehow, somehow I feel like getting a new pet, even if I want one, would dishonor his memory."

"How did he die, the cat? If you don't mind-I mean, you don't have to tell me."

"He was hit by a car. It's funny; he was such a smart cat. He'd always stop on the curb and look both ways before crossing. I don't know how he could have been hit. It was rainy that night, maybe he couldn't see the car in the rain. Maybe the car was speeding. Maybe he just didn't check. Who knows? But I can't even imagine replacing him." I'd been rather alarmingly frank in my story, and I felt my face coloring. Why was I divulging this to Potter of all people?

"When my first owl died," he said, gazing at me steadily, "I felt like I could never find a replacement. But then my father bought Hermes, and he was wonderful. It wasn't replacing my first owl, I still had all of the sadness of his death, but by getting a new owl I committed to still living life to my fullest. I don't think the dead, even if they're owl or cats, would approve of us holding ourselves back in their memories, not if they truly love us."

I gaped at him. Potter's statement was beautiful and wise in a way I'd never expected from him. I had a sinking feeling in my stomach as I stared into his earnest face. A feeling like I might have to change my mindset, like I might have to reevaluate everything I thought about James Potter. For here, gleaming in his eyes, lurked not even a trace of the pestering git I was so well acquainted with.

Suddenly, I found myself just as desperate to hide as when I'd seen Frank yesterday. I jumped up, startling Padfoot whose head was resting on my knee. "Thanks, Potter, I've got to go. I was just on my way to visit somebody."

"A goodbye visit?"

"Huh? How do you know that?"

"Mary mentioned it when she came to my house for some quidditch today. I'm sorry you have to leave so abruptly. Everything's alright, right?"

"For now at least," I said and I remembered the Prophet article. "I hope it still will be when I get back."

"The aurors are working really hard to protect muggle families. My dad says they've been applying simple security nexuses around houses in areas that have experienced previous attacks. Your family will be safe."

I looked up startled. He'd been able to see right into the heart of my worries. Was this another unnerving trait to be associated with the new Potter? I felt the urge to flee again. "Thank you. Bye Potter. Bye Padfoot." And I dashed out of the grove.

As I panted, back on the main trail, I heard Potter's whisper carrying through the trees, "Honestly, you were all over her, practically snogging her. Plus, you made her suspicious. You are such a prat sometimes. I can't believe I'm letting you share my bed, you traitorous mutt." After that I heard no more since it seemed Potter was moving in the other direction.

But really, who talks to their dog that way? Maybe my reevaluation of Potter was wrong. If not a prat, he was at least seriously addled: getting mad at the dog for snogging me. That was just bizarre.

Fabian had left Emmeline's by the time I arrived there, and I certainly wasn't going over to the Longbottom's to see him. Thus, I just stomped back to Mary's. It seemed nothing had come of my trip but a most confusing and awkward run in with Potter. Really, of all the people I'd thought of saying goodbye to, he was probably the last on my list. Yet, he was the only person I had. Weird, but certainly not as weird as the whole dog incident. Does Potter really let that giant, hairy beast sleep in his bed?

Love,
Lily

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A/N: Questions, comments, whatever. Please toss it my way. For example, does anyone have any suggestions as to what Frank's next step in wooing Lily should be?