Eight

"Okay, in the interest of honesty and full disclosure, I need to tell you something." Mike raises his eyebrows.

"Okay, shoot." She swallows, nervous.

"I…well, I kind of slept with Harvey." Silence. She meets his eyes.

"You kind of slept with Harvey?" She squints her eyes, scrunching up her face like a child who's trying to avoid telling the truth.

"I did. I definitely did." Mike's stomach drops.

"Oh, Jesus, Nichola," There is no way in hell this is going to turn out well for any of them. No way in hell. She shrinks back a little, waiting for the storm.

"I'm sorry."

"What-how-no. No, I don't want to know how. Just…are you serious?"

"I'm so sorry, Mike."

"Nic. Jesus Christ. Nichola, do you understand what kind of a position we're in already? I don't need any-any outside factors making this harder." He runs his hands through his hair, leaning his head on the back of the couch. She watches him, waiting for the explosion and holding her breath. "Fuck, Nichola."

"I'm so sorry," she repeats, feeling worse by the second.

"Is this like-what does that mean?" He speaks slowly, trying to contain his anger. She gives an exaggerated shrug.

"I have no idea. But we agreed that…it was…casual. It doesn't mean anything-" Mike sighs. "I know, I know, I know. Don't make that noise, I know."

"Nic…you can't do this," he says, meeting her eyes. "You can't be with him."

"Hey, you slept with Lauren that one time. And I'm not saying I want to be with him, I'm just-"

"That thing with Lauren…you suggested we go out a hundred times and it wasn't hurting anyone. Was this a one time thing?" She hesitates. "Oh, God, come on Nichola…"

"Mike, I-I-I-" she stutters, takes a deep breath, and starts over. "Regardless of whether or not there's a one time thing, it's not personal. It's just…it's totally casual, so no hard feelings and-"

"But you just said you feel something for him." She shrugs, her mouth open.

"I-yeah, so maybe I have a little bit of a crush on him. Have you met him? But it's not a big deal and it's probably nothing anyway."

"Nic…"

"No, just listen, Mike. Please." He closes his mouth and nods.

"Alright, fine. I'm listening." She swallows, playing with her ring.

"I needed something to take my mind off of Matthew. I needed-I just wanted to stop thinking about him. I was sitting at home on a Friday night thinking of all the things we'd normally be doing together and then I ran into Harvey and I just…I needed to start over. To put something between Matthew and me, you know?"

"But he's my boss, Nichola. And we're in a very…precarious situation. I don't need any extra problems that could screw things up." He's mad. He's trying his best to hold it in, to keep his voice level, but she can see the tension in his face.

"I'm not going to screw anything up, Mike. If Harvey and I go our separate ways, fine. Maybe last time was the last time. Maybe he never calls me again. I don't care." He studies her face carefully.

"You will care." She shrugs.

"Okay, so then I get a little hurt. It's not like it hasn't happened before and nothing can compare to what Matthew did to me. I'll get over it." She gets up and sits down right next to him.

"Mike, the point is, no matter how you spin it, this isn't a big deal and it isn't going to affect you. Harvey's better than that and you think something stupid like this could screw up our friendship? Hell no, not on my watch." Mike appreciates the ferocity in her eyes and voice but he still isn't sure. He doesn't soften. She smiles, tilting her head to the side a little.

"I-I'm sorry, Nic, you just…you can't do this. There's too much riding on it. It's screwing with too much-"

"How, though? How does me sleeping with Harvey get you fired?"

"It's not just about me. If I go down, he goes down with me."

"And again, how does this include me?" He hesitates and it dawns on her.

"Oh my God!" She jumps up off the couch. "You think I'd purposely screw you over? What, if Harvey dumps me I'm gonna go run to the bar and tell on you two. Jesus fucking Christ, Mike, do you know me at all?" Tears well in her eyes as she walks across the room.

"No, Nic, I didn't say-"

"You didn't have to. That's the only way I could cause a problem for you guys. Harvey won't fire you because you could go to the bar and get him fired, too. The only other answer is you think I'm going to-you know what? Fuck it. I don't-I don't even want to talk about this anymore. I just…I didn't want you to find out some other way. I thought maybe it would be better if you heard it from me but apparently it doesn't even matter."

"Okay, I'll give you that much but that is like, an inch…" She sighs, shaking her head.

"Mike, I-I'm sorry it upsets you but I'm not sorry I slept with him."

"Well then we have a problem." She folds her arms and shrugs.

"Apparently we do."

"If this is so casual why can't you just break it off?" She licks her lips, flattening a bump in the rug with her foot. She isn't sure why she can't just get over it, but there's something about being with Harvey that makes her feel…different.

"I don't…really know how to explain it," she says slowly, thinking it over. "He's different. He's worlds away from Matt and I…need that. For a little while. Lately I feel like-like I'm doing everything for everyone else, Mike. I did what Matt wanted. What his family wanted. Mike, I can't-this is what I want. He's fun. It's easy. And I swear to God no matter what happens, I would never ever screw you two over. I can't even believe you would suggest such a thing."

"I didn't mean to suggest it, Nic, come on. I know you better than that. It was just…" He studies her face, trying to come up with a solution. She's angry at him, as she should be. Of course she would catch the one thought that was never supposed to leave his head.

"Do what you want, Nichola. I'm not here to tell you what to do," he sighs, a pained tone in his voice, and runs his hand over his face.

"I'm a big girl, Mike. I can take care of myself." Mike meets her eyes with a soul-searching kind of look as she plays with the end of her hair.

"I know. I forget that sometimes." She holds his gaze. She knows Mike means well. He's never meant anything but well, but he tends to forget that she grew up when he didn't, and she feels like in some ways he's still playing catch up. She knows all about his extenuating circumstances, so it's not that she doesn't understand, it just frustrates her when he tries to talk to her like she's a twenty year old party girl. Nichola left that girl behind a long time ago.

"I know what he's like, Mike," she says, turning around half way to the kitchen. "I know he's a player. I know…I know what he wants from me, and I did try not to give it to him but, you know, like I said, this is about me putting someone in between Matthew and me. As long as I don't do anything stupid like fall for him, I'll be fine."

"Yeah, well, don't do anything stupid," Mike says, his frustration showing a little again. Nichola opens her mouth to respond but thinks better of it.

"I just thought you should know. I didn't want you to find out…some other way." She swallows a sigh. She didn't tell him because she wanted his permission, or judgment. She just wanted to make sure he couldn't find out the wrong way.

"Well, I appreciate that. But I guess if I'm being honest I have to say I wish you hadn't done it at all." She nods.

"I know. But I swear to God, the second it becomes a problem, if it becomes a problem, I'm out. I'm done with it. Okay?" Hesitating, Mike nods.

"Okay."