I looked into Hidan's eyes intensely, etching the words into them, but all I could see was a blurred image of him. I turned and took off, not wanting him to see this side of me. I wiped my eyes on my sleeves while wondering why I told him that; both of us would be better living in our own little world. It would be best not to cross at all, not even now that the other existed. I kept to myself and I would continue to live a life of solitude. People look at me with the expression of why I don't tell others, but keep all the pain to myself. It's because if I actually became friends with someone, it would only bring them into my world of despair and hatred. It would be hard for me to ever live like I use to, alone and by myself. My only friends will always be me, myself and I…

The wind that blew into my face was sharp and hard and it pushed the tears from my face. I continued to swiftly leap from branch to branch, hoping that my blurred vision didn't lead me to crash into a trunk. But when I sensed that the thuds of someone traveling behind me I turned around but continued to run from him.

"Leave me the f*** alone you bloody Jashinist, I don't want to see your f***ing face again in my life!" I shrieked hoarsely, tossing two kunai is in his general direction since I really couldn't see through the tears. This seemed to stun him, as his halted in my chase and I turned and sprinted full speed.

When I heard a crashing of a waterfall I swerved and headed for it. I ran through trees and bushes and nearly slammed into one, but I managed to dodge them. I settled for a place close to the slosh of water close to the waterfall. Even though I had nearly stopped crying, the thoughts of always being alone, always causing others pain, always pretending to be someone else I was not brought the tears back on again. I shrieked and howled, somehow comforted that no one would distinguish my crying from the waterfall.

17 years, 17 years of pain, 17 years of neglect, 17 years of loneliness came out in my cries and yells. I screamed until my throat was hoarse and I couldn't utter a single word. My throat was raw and painful, focusing chakara under my feet I walked slowly to the waterfall. I stuck my head under the roar of the water and tried to breathe smoothly and calm myself.

When I finally stopped hiccupping I was thoroughly soaked, as well as my ears ringing loudly. My body was numb, but I wasn't sure whether it was the cold or the sadness. Except of the red eyes and tired look, you wouldn't be able to tell I had been crying. In the wavering reflection of the water my black hair was plastered to my face and my grey eyes looked dull. I trudged to the shore were I sat motionless and dead from the inside. If an ANBU member came now I would happily throw myself onto their sword without hesitating.

But after maybe 3 hours I rose to my feet and collected wood to make a fire, then caught some fish, all without showing any emotion on my face. I thread a stick through each fish and stuck them around the crackling fire. I curled up in a ball by the fire, my clothes were still damp but I didn't care. It was night time already, another day passed. I had survived another day. I was just like one of those stars up in the night sky, if one of them stopped shining one day, one would notice or care. Compared to the moon they were so insignificant and little. If I died, would anyone notice? Would someone bury me and give me a grave, or would I be left to rot, left to be eaten and mutilated?

Alone, always alone, that was me and my life. I stared into the sky again, wondering about my dim future. The Earth would keep rotating, the people still living, the sun still spreading warmth, like nothing ever happened… Like nothing ever happened… Like I didn't ever set foot on this world… Forgotten like an unloved toy.

I closed my eyes, sighing to myself when suddenly there was movement behind me. I remained still, to tired and unbothered to attend to that person.

"Finally found you," Hidan sighed softly you saw him grab one of the cooked fish and tucked in like nothing ever happened. "Mmmm, this is good! You should be a cook,"

I kept silent and didn't even move; I might as well be dead for all I cared.

"Hey, Aaki. About the incident at the hotel…" Hidan murmured softly, then even softer "I'm sorry…"

I was pretty shocked, but all I could manage was sitting up, look at him and give a tiny nod, meaning I forgave him. He gave me a fish and I chewed it neutrally, not bothering with the taste. The rest of the night was spent in silence.

I dropped to the ground after a while, preparing to sleep, too tired to bother.

"You're gonna catch a cold with those wet clothes, here have my cloak," Hidan said and slipped off his own, tossing it to me. I catch it and hold it against me; I was really worn out and fell asleep as soon as I closed my eyes.

When morning came I felt sore all over, although I did regain most of my voice. I checked my reflection in the water to see that I just looked tired not that I'd cried non-stop yesterday. I managed to smile crookedly though it looked horrible in the water. Sighing I returned to get the last wisps of sleep I could before Hidan wakes up.

My clothes were still damp but I still didn't care, so I flung Hidan's cloak over the top and closed my eyes. I didn't get to sleep though, not because Hidan urged us to move along, but Kakuzu appeared.

"Ok, I've just collected the bounty for one of the 'Jounin', let's go," Kakuzu announced.

Hidan sat up and grabbed his cloak from me. "Ok, let's go,"

So we continued the blasted journey back, Hidan returned to arguing with Kakuzu about hotels and bounty collecting, like nothing ever happened. But I shall never forget, no matter what happens.

It took us more time to go back to the base, mostly because Kakuzu chased after this guy who was supposed to have a huge bounty on his head, only to find it was the wrong guy. Hidan's complaining also got us a hotel, so I have nothing against that anymore.