Chapter 8: She Gets What She Wants

The flat screen flashed with images from a movie I was only half paying attention to. My family had given me a week off of school so I could recover from a classic case of "mono". I laughed humorously to myself at the fact that mono was also called "the kissing disease". It was pretty damn ironic that a guy who had very recently warded off kissing would feign an illness that had a nickname like that. But the whole mono thing was a useless excuse anyway. I was NEVER going back to Forks high school. Imprinting was an ever looming possibility for me now, and there were fertile girls swarming all over that place! I would not be another pack statistic! I WOULD not! But, as I watched a girl on the flat screen try to run away from some psycho killer, I realized that girls were everywhere. I frowned as I considered that… Hell, I just won't ever leave the house again…

"Oh yes you will," my 6-foot-2, sparkly version of Jiminy Cricket suddenly spoke.

I leaned my head back on the new couch so I could look up at the person standing behind it. He looked down at me with his gold eyes and his half-smile. I looked back at the flat screen with a scowl on my face and continued thinking to myself how I WOULD NOT be going back to school. NO MATTER WHAT.

"Even if I have to walk you in, myself," he added and I could hear the amusement in his voice, "You will be going."

I scoffed at his threat and imagined the trouble he'd have trying to get me to go to school. A corner of my mouth curved up into his same half-smile as I imagined him tugging wolf-me by my tail into my classroom.

He chuckled.

"It would never come to that. All I would need is a little brute force and some coercion from Jasper."

I sighed. I could never win in this family!

"Just sign me up at an all-boys-school or a monastery or something. Anywhere where's there's no girls."

Edward walked from behind the couch and stopped in front of me, blocking the flat screen. I scooted over so I could see it again but he just followed my movement.

"WHAT!" I yelled, throwing my hands up in the air. "Why don't you go back to doing whatever you were doing before you started eavesdropping on my mind."

I looked up at him with angry eyes but he kept his face straight.

"I don't think you really want to alienate yourself from girls."

"Oh yeah! Well, I guess you weren't listening too good!" I don't want to be around ANY girls! I can't look at them now without possibly imprinting on one of them!

"That's just your excuse," Edward said as he crossed his arms and looked down at me humorously with a raised eyebrow, "You're only afraid of seeing one girl, but you shouldn't let that one girl stop you from living your life…or leaving the couch."

I rolled my eyes.

"I like the couch and school isn't exactly 'living'. Besides, there's nothing they can teach me that I don't already know. It's just high school, Gramps. If you're worried about me not graduating I can always get my GED online."

As I said "GED" Edward glared at me with a look that was so menacingly that I nearly considered visiting Forks high school right then.

"Caleb," he said through his teeth, "You will go to school on Monday."

I sighed in defeat and sunk lower into the couch. The idea of vampires and werewolves going to school was just...stupid. It was such a waste. Why sit in a classroom and solve equations when you could be out in the world playing Superman? Ha. Who was I kidding? I was perfectly content to just stay at home and watch slasher movies for the rest of my life. With that thought, Edward moved out of my path and took a step back so he could see the flat screen. I watched as the hooded killer who was wielding a scythe, hacked his way through a corn field in search of his victim.

Edward groaned.

"Why do you enjoy this type of film," his voice sounded tired and he pinched the bridge of his nose as a tall, black-haired guy, who sort of looked like Eli, got chopped in half with a scythe.

I smiled.

"It makes me feel better."

As I watched the next helpless victim lose their head, I could see Edward, through the corner of my eye, staring down at me in that analytical way of his.

"It's just repressed anger," I shrugged as I stared at the screen, "Jacob won't let me get anywhere near Eli."

Before I could even finish blinking an eye, Edward grabbed the remote control from the couch and pushed the power button.

"Hey!" I complained as the screen went black and I looked to Edward for an explanation.

"Watching violent movies like that is not going to cure your vengeful mentality," Edward lectured me as he threw the remote control back on to the couch.

His expression was so serious that I couldn't help but laugh. He sounded like the host from one of those daytime talk shows that Esme occasionally watched. I snorted.

"Who said anything about wanting a cure? I fully embrace my desire for vengeance."

Edward's humorless face brightened as if a light bulb had suddenly switched-on inside of his head.

"On Monday," he added, his voice thick with confidence, "You will fully embrace school."

I scowled at that, but the determined pounding of feet hitting the floorboards as they neared the living room made me forget all about Edward.

"THAT'S IT," Jacob yelled as he stormed in from the back of the house and snapped his cell phone shut. My mom and dad had been acting sort of…different lately. They weren't all over each other like they had been the entirety of my life. Not that I thought that was a bad thing! It was a really, really good thing! But, I momentarily wondered if it was possibly the reason why Jacob looked so angry.

"Leah hasn't answered anyone's calls, except for Sue's, for over week!" Oh.

"Perhaps these recent events have brought up bad memories for her," Edward suggested and I narrowed my eyes at his subtle reminder of how the Uley's had a knack for fucking-up people's relationships.

Jacob shrugged his shoulders, "She's been holed-up in her apartment for days. She won't even open her door for Seth."

I felt a little envious at the thought of having my own apartment that I could be "holed-up in". Edward shook his head at me in obvious disapproval and I rolled my eyes.

"You're one to judge," I thought as I stared at him, "Alice says you're the one I get this whole 'brooding' thing from!"

Edward gave no visible response. I smiled.

"Come on, pup," Jacob said as he moved towards the front of the house, "We're going to Port Angeles."

My smile faded but I pushed myself off the couch in compliance, "Why?"

"Because I'm going to try to get Leah out of her apartment and you're coming with me."

"Oh no he's not," the sing-songy voice of Alice declared as she skipped into the living room, "I'm taking Caleb to Seattle."

"SEATTLE," Jacob and I both yelled in question simultaneously.

"Yes," Alice said as she put on a pair of sunglasses despite there being no sun.

"Look at his clothes," Alice gestured to me with her arm, "His shirt is two sizes too small and that frayed jeans look hasn't been in style for decades."

I looked down at the blue jean cut-offs that I had expertly cut myself and I shrugged my shoulders.

"It was either this or walk around with them over my ankles like I was preparing for a flood."

I grinned, but Alice's mouth didn't even twitch.

"WE are going to Seattle to buy you some tailored clothes," she said with finality.

I looked at Jacob hoping he'd save me by saying that I was going with him...not her. After all, I was his son. Alice couldn't dispute that argument. But, Jacob said nothing. Traitor. I blew out a breath of air as I realized that it was up to me to try and save myself from shopping with Alice.

"Maybe some other time," I said as I walked passed her and headed for the stairs, "I still have one more make-up assignment to finish for school."

Alice grabbed the back of my arm and I turned and glared down at her. She tilted her head to the side and smiled up at me.

"Caleb, if you don't come with me, right now, I will take your measurements myself," she said as she pulled out a spool of measuring tape from her purse and unrolled it like a yo-yo.

I shuddered at the thought of her taking my lower body measurements. Alice smiled as if she knew it and then patted me on the shoulder.

"Now go put on your shoes and we'll leave."

I gritted my teeth as I climbed up the stairs, resenting Alice and her magical way of always getting what she wants. I shook my head. So much for never leaving the house again…


I stretched my arms over my head as I walked through the malls parking lot trying to work out the kinks from the 3 hours of solid driving. Alice didn't make a single stop on the drive over to Seattle, but it was considerably shorter because of it.

"Soo," I drew out the word as I looked at Alice, "how long is this going to take?"

"Oh, I'd say 3 to 4 hours depending on how difficult you make this," Alice said as she walked briskly towards the entrance of the mall with a pep in her step and a smile on her face.

Alice was totally in her element. She was loving this already and we hadn't even stepped inside a store. I glared down at her as I walked at her same pace, biting the inside of my cheek as I wondered what in the hell she was going to put me through.

"Mommy, watch what I can do," a little girl yelled as she jumped up on to a curb and stuck her arms out as she balance-walked across it.

Alice and I both looked in the girls direction and I could tell from the way she wobbled that she would fall. Before her mother's human eyes could catch the girls slip-up, I saw the little girl trip over her own two feet and land knees-first on the ground. I grimaced at the sound of bones hitting concrete and then I froze. Alice froze too. The air had touched the blood that was coming from the little girl's newly skinned knees and I could smell it. Alice looked up at me in surprise as she realized that we had both stopped for the same reason.

"Caleb, are you alright," she asked me as she put her arm through mine and started pulling us towards the sliding glass doors.

I gave a nod as my body moved in compliance with Alice's force, but my mind was reeling from the effect that the blood had on me. I realized immediately that this was the first time I'd been around a normal human since I had first phased. Carlisle had determined that my attraction to blood was more of an instinctual reflex than it was a hunger, but his conclusion gave no explanation for why my throat suddenly felt dry.

"I could use a drink," I said and my voice came out raspy like my vocal cords were rubbing against sand paper.

Alice pulled us inside the mall and we both seemed to take in a deep breath as if I'd been holding mine and as if she actually needed hers.

"I'll buy you some water," Alice said as she headed through a doorway that was labeled for "vending machines".

I was too distracted by the talking electronic billboards that flashed with advertisements and the other shopper's voices to respond to Alice. I tried to focus on hearing just the sounds that were in my immediate area so I could filter-out the ones that weren't. I walked a little further into the mall until I was standing in front of one of the interactive maps that gave a full layout of all the stores. It was easier to turn down the super sensory a few notches if I had one thing to focus on. Otherwise, I was like a kid with ADHD, trying to take in all the sights, sounds and smells at once, and looking like a total nut job in the process.

"HERE," Alice said as she tossed a bottle of water to me and I quickly spun around to catch it. But, maybe I had spun around too quick…

A gasp came from right behind me and I slowly turned to see an elderly woman pressing a hand to her heart as she looked up at me, clearly startled.

"Oh! Ma'am, I'm so sorry," I said as moved towards her with my hand reaching out to clasp her shoulder.

The old woman quickly jerked away from me and pursed her wrinkled face in disgust.

"Don't you touch me, you—hobo!" Hobo?

I felt the heat of embarrassment rise in my cheeks as I stared after the old woman who was waddling away from me. But that embarrassment was easily trumped by a duo of teenage girls who made it obvious that they had witnessed the whole thing by giggling.

"Nice shoes," one of the girls said with a laugh as the other one coyly wiggled her fingers at me in passing.

I looked down at my old converses and noticed that the tip of my big toe had worn a hole through my shoe. I swallowed hard and it was like trying to chug down a cup of wet sand. I quickly unscrewed the cap off the water and downed the bottle until it was empty. I sighed. Much better.

"See," Alice said as she wrapped her small arm around my waist and started leading me deeper into the mall, "I told you that you need new clothes. Imagine what it would be like going to school dressed as you are."

I rolled my eyes. I didn't really care what the people at school thought, but Alice was right...as usual. I could use some new clothes, or some shoes at least…

"Yeah, yeah. You're allllwaaays right. But, it's funny how, you, being a psychic and all, couldn't prepare me for my first day back around normal people," I said as I tossed my empty bottle into a trashcan on passing, "It would've been nice to have avoided that whole scene with the old lady."

"Ca-leb," Alice chidded, "You know I haven't been able to see into your future since you turned into an over-sized mutt!"

I looked around at the people we walked passed, worried that they might have heard what she said, but if they noticed us at all it was only because of the stark contrast of our appearances. Alice looked like a feisty little fairy that had flew off the pages of a fashion magazine. And I looked like a half-Native American...hobo?

"Here we are," Alice sang as we stopped in front of a fancy-French-named clothing store.

I raised an eyebrow as I looked at the formally dressed mannequins and then turned a questioning eye to Alice. She can't be serious…

"You do know," I said as I crossed my arms over my chest and stared into the store, "That anything you buy me will probably end up shredded, right?"

Alice's arms went slack at her sides and she glared up at me as if I had overstated something obvious.

"Don't worry, Caleb," Alice's voice was annoyed as she pulled me inside the store, "We'll be buying you plenty of phase-clothes!"

"Great," I thought condescendingly as I looked around the store and realized that there wasn't a single casual article of clothing in sight, "She's gonna drag me into every fucking store in this fucking mall."

I loudly blew out a breath of air to convey my irritation, but Alice ignored it. She knew she had already won. I was going to get new clothes whether I liked it or not, and any deviations on my part would only make this process longer. I took a deep breath and accepted my fate as a man with a long strip of measuring tape around his neck looked up at us from behind the counter.

"Ah, Ms. Cullen," the man spoke in a heavy French accent as he walked out from behind the counter to kiss her cheeks.

I glared at Alice. This man had been expecting her, and that could only mean one thing… Alice had been planning this! I looked back at the man and noticed he had a pin-filled pincushion sticking in his pocket. I rolled my eyes and sighed a bit too loudly because it caught his attention. The man looked at me. His smile faded and then his eyes grew wide as he took in my attire.

"Oh, Ms. Cullen," he laughed suddenly as he playfully shook a finger at Alice, "You always bring me a challenge."

I narrowed my eyes as I looked between the two smiling fashion-freaks. I suddenly wished I was in Port Angeles beating down Leah's door with my dad. Hell, anywhere but here! Alice flashed me her biggest smile and the twinkle in her golden eyes sparkled from the fact that she was getting just what she wanted… Me in a damn suit! No vampire in the world could hold a candle to the raw-horror that was Alice Cullen. Nothing was more horrible than this…