"You're thirsty."
I looked into Edward's eyes and frowned. I hadn't hunted for about three days now. Still, despite the unthinkably short amount of time, my eyes had turned to an eerie shade of black. With a huff I stood up from Edward's lap and headed towards the door. He followed me, clearly aware of my extreme frustration.
"What's wrong, hun?" he asked with a worry filled look in his eyes.
"I've been practicing for months now and I still have to hunt every few days! I'm never going to get a handle on this thing!" I threw my hands up in the air. "I guess I'm never going to see anybody outside of this god forsaken family." Once saying that I was sorry I said anything at all. I could see that it hurt him. He, of course, thought that he didn't deserve me, so my actions had merely fueled his ridiculousness.
"I'm sorry, Edward. You know I didn't mean that. I love you guys so much and I can't believe fate let you stumble across me." He smiled and I kissed him. "It's just so... maddening that I can't seem to get my thirst under control." I frowned and laid my head on his shoulder. He rubbed soothing circles into my lower back.
"It's alright, love. You can do this. We've practiced every day and I believe in you. We all do. Now, lets not put it off any longer. You need to hunt." I looked at him and nodded, turning back towards the stairway.
Alice joined us today. She needed to hunt as well. Also, I could tell she was longing to do something with me. Since my coming I had been restlessly working on my control, so that left me with little time to spare. She smiled with my offer to join us and ran out the door.
We walked for a few miles. Alice was to my right, while Edward-- whom I was gleefully holding hands with-- was on my left. We stayed quiet while Alice described outfits and shoes that she had discovered on one of her many favorite shopping sites. I could tell the thing she wanted to do most was to bring me to an actual store. But we all knew it just wasn't in the cards at the moment, so nobody mentioned it. I smiled and listened without argument. Edward, having seen them in Alice's mind, would let me know if he thought I would like it. I would nod and agree to try some things on when we returned later today.
At one point, I left Edward and Alice to do a bit of hunting. Edward did a quick brush up while Alice did some hunting of her own. She would later brag to me about her skills at confusing the black bear she came across.
For myself, I cornered a pack of mountain lions out for a search for food themselves. After finishing off the last, I buried the carcasses and started my search for my beloved. I would let Alice find me, a precaution for if she wasn't yet finished with her meal. I walked for a few hundred feet and smelled a bear. This would be a perfect chance to work on my control once more. The wind shifted and I calculated in my head.
Three-hundred feet or so to my left. I felt myself slipping as I started walking again. I stopped breathing and walked straight, hoping it wasn't headed for me. I started running after a few feet and closed my eyes, picturing Edward and my family.
"I can do this. Just keep running. I don't need it. Control. Control." I couldn't do it. I wasn't going to make it. I could picture myself slaughtering it. No. I can't. That will only make me want it more. My eyes were still closed; not breathing one single breath.
And I didn't smell it anymore. I smiled and opened my eyes. I saw Edward there and I tried to stop. Unfortunately for him, I had been running way too fast to stop so abruptly. I smashed into him, sending us both flying about five yards behind him.
"What's wrong. Why are you running?" He was looking me over, checking for wounds that would never appear.
"I did it, Edward." I was holding his hands now, smiling widely while he was still completely clueless.
"What, Bella? What did you do?" He was smiling now too, realizing whatever had happened was good.
I stood up, pulling him with me. "I was hunting. And when I finished, I started looking for you. And I smelled it. God, it smelled so good. Grizzly, I figure. But I didn't lose it. I just stopped breathing and thought of you" he smiled in hearing this "and I didn't lose control." I wrapped him into a hug that would have crushed anything and he hugged me back.
"Well done! I'm so happy. Lets go tell the family. Now, where's Alice?" I shrugged and he smiled.
"Wha--" I was cut off by someone pouncing on me from the side. Once landed, I jumped up and crouched, snarling and cursing.
"Jeez, Bella. Relax." It was Alice, of course.
"Uhm, sorry." I stood up and she toppled me over again, this time hugging me.
"I'm so excited! Congratulations, Bella! I'm so glad you finally overcame it! Wait 'til we tell Jasper! He will be so proud. Come on! Lets go!" She grabbed me by the wrist and ran, while Edward-- laughing so hard he could barely run-- followed behind us.
A/N: Yaaay! Filler chapters! Dang, I hate these things. But, I had to do it. I'm kinda between a rock and a hard place with this story. So... this is my recovery. Okay, recovery is definitely the wrong word. Umm, this is the chapter while I think really, really hard about what to do next. I promise there's more story and it will include Bella and high school. Now, lately (and in the future) there's like, months or weeks or what ever going by. I know, I know, I'm not explaining anything that happened then. But this story would be nothing but filler chapters if I did. Because as I say in the one or two paragraphs describing the months, it's like, only hunting and the occasional baseball game every day. Nothing interesting to read about. So, if you think about it, you'd probably rather read about Bella struggling with high school than her hunting every day. If you don't, you shouldn't read this. XD
Thanks,
dsmldejection
ps: reviews are loved and responded to!
