For a few days, things seemed to be going pretty well with myself and Paul. Of course we still had out moments but that was a given with me and him. It was just bound to happen.
So that following Wednesday, after school, I went with the guys and girls to the beach. I didn't feel like going in the water this time, so I sat with the girls while the boys went in. Liz was to my right, Kim to my left, Emily held Claire in front of us. We were all sitting on this huge blanket. It was quite nice. "So," Liz started, "when do we get to meet this Sophia you have told us about?"
"Well I graduate a week before she does, she is coming up to see me graduate and then I'm going to see her graduation. That one is a definite. But anything before that, there is no plan. I miss her though."
"You and her are close?"
"She's like a sister to me. She has helped me through a lot."
"Can't wait to meet her."
I turned to the water. It was days like this that made me think for but I brought my camera. While chatting with the girls, I took a few random pictures.
Our conversations went from one thing to another, almost randomly. But I could tell that there were a few times that they wanted to say something or add to a story were holding back. Usually it was at mention of the guys. The guys had a secret. That much I knew. But I wasn't going to push it. They must have a reason to withhold it from me. Sometimes secrets are better left unsaid. I know. I have my own secret.
"...and then he just slid across the floor. Too bad he didn't see the oil."
"I can see him do that perfectly. Would have loved to see Embry's face Liz."
"Yeah. I still love him though. I couldn't imagine being with anyone but him."
"Or Sam for me."
"Or Jared for me either."
"What about you? No boyfriends in Hesperia?"
"I've been single for a while now Liz."
"Ever have a boyfriend?"
"One."
"What happened?"
"I don't want to talk about it."
"But..."
"I don't want to talk about it right now."
"Did he... did he ever hurt or try to hurt you?"
"Once. And that was what ended it."
Through my words, she along with the others, knew not to push it anymore.
The girls continued to talk. I would put my two cents in every once in a while but mostly I just sat there. It was a nice day.
Paul and Jared were heading toward us. Before I knew it, Paul had picked me up. "Paul! Put me down!"
"Angel."
He started walking, towards the water. "I swear to fucking god Paul, you throw me in the water and you will regret it. Don't even try!"
"Oh come on Angel. The water isn't bad."
"Not for you and your freakish body heat. I swear you better fucking put me down."
He just smiled. His legs were ankle deep in water. And he dropped me. I landed in a crouched position, splashing my whole body with water.
That was it. I looked at him like I wanted to kill him, which I very well did. Standing up, I walked passed him, pushing him in the process. That was pushing it. "Angel."
I did not answer him. No way did I want to talk to him after that. I did not want my secret coming out at this point. "Angel."
Still, I did not answer. "Angel!"
"What Paul? WHAT?"
"Angel."
"You dropped me in the water! I told you to damn well put me down but no! You decided to be an ass and still put me in the water."
"I was only joking around. I..."
"Paul, I don't care. I told you no and you didn't fucking listen. I just don't care. I'm done talking to you right now."
"Angel, please."
He sounded sorry. He didn't want me mad at him. "Paul. I said 'right now.' Maybe in a few days, I'll talk. But now...I'm fucking done."
I didn't stop walking. I grabbed my camera and headed to my car. With a quick goodbye to everyone else, I was driving. Before I got too far, I had seen Sam slap Paul in the back of the head. I chuckled as I got out of sight.
I was mad. I wanted to hate him, to not want to talk to him ever again. But at the same time, I couldn't force myself to go through with it. I was mad at him, but I couldn't hate him. Grandma was surprised when I came home early. "Ellie, what happened?"
"One word...Paul."
"Tell me about it."
I explained to her the situation. "It's just Paul, sweetheart. He was playing around."
"That at the beginning I get. But that doesn't matter. It was the fact that he dropped me in water after I told him no. He just doesn't always listen."
"Or maybe he's just trying to get your attention. I think he likes you. Being around you and trying to get your attention is just different for him. He wants to be with you and he's just not sure how to act."
"What makes you say that?"
"I've known these boys for what seems like forever. I know what Paul is like. I know how he acts. He just wants your attention."
"He'd get more of my attention if he didn't act like today all the time. It would be nice if he just talked to me or just hung out like I have with the other guys. I don't mind that we have had heated discussions. But when he acts like that it makes me mad."
"I'm sure he'll learn. He just needs some time."
"We'll see."
I wasn't in the mood to talk much more so I just went to my room. I needed to just relax and try to forget about the incident.
.
.
.
Time seemed to pass quite quickly. All of the guys, except Paul, had become like brothers. They were just so friendly and awesome to hang out with. They felt like real brothers. The girls were awesome too. Liz had become my best friend there. I knew her and Sophia would get along great. Then there was one big issue.
Paul. We got on each other's nerves but we weren't arguing as much as we did. Throughout the process of getting to know him, something happened. I started to like him. I felt strangely pulled to him. There was something about him that I just couldn't put my finger on. Even though I admitted to myself that I liked him, didn't mean I was ready to admit it to him. I was scared. I knew that he had 'changed' from what I was first told about him, but at the same time I was afraid that if I let myself really fall for him, I would end up getting hurt.
.
.
.
Three weeks had passed since I had moved to La Push. I loved the guys, the girls. I loved this place so far. There was nowhere else I could imagine being. I talked to my mom a few times. she was busy with work but she tried. I understood where she was coming from. She was trying to provide for me. I was thankful that she was trying. Paul was still there. The small pull I felt to him before was nothing compared to now. It was a whole lot stronger. I knew whenever he was near without even seeing him. He had a calming touch. I wanted him. I really did. But it was really hard to admit that to myself yet alone to say that to him.
.
Sitting at lunch, as became a custom, I was in between Paul and Jared. Random conversations. Weirdness. Nothing really out of the ordinary. Until about halfway through lunch. Some blonde-haired, blue eyes, chick came up and stood on the end next to Paul. "Paul."
"Marianne."
His voice was flat, uninterested. "I'm back from visiting my family in New York. I missed you while I was gone."
The flirty-ness, the desperateness in her voice was so apparent. "So."
"I was wondering if you wanted to get together, you know...have some fun."
That got to me. She was desperate. I wanted to hurt her. She was trying to take him away. He was mine. Oh crap. I was jealous. Paul wasn't even mine and I was jealous. "Not going to happen, Marianne. I've changed. I don't do that anymore."
"I've been gone a month. I really need some time with you."
"I told you. Not going to happen. As a matter of fact, lose my number."
"But Paulie..."
She tried giving those puppy dog eyes. She even laid a hand gently on his arm. As much as I didn't want to admit it, my jealousy was getting the best of me. I wasn't going to be around that. I couldn't. So I stood up, grabbed my things and turned to her just as she was trying the whole 'Paulie' thing again. "Girl, seriously, he said no. Get the hint."
"And who are you?"
"Well miss snotty attitude, I am a friend of his. So, if he says no he means no. Now...I'm sick of listening to your insistent cries of desperate attention. You want sex, we get that. Don't throw yourself out there, especially when he already said no."
Ignoring her and the rest of the guys and girls for that matter, I walked off. I didn't need to see that.
I only stopped moving when I found myself in a corner of the school. I went to sit down, but Paul was right there. He gently placed his hands on my shoulders. "Ellie, Angel...are you okay?"
"Must you insist on calling me that?"
"Yes. But you didn't answer my question. Are you okay?"
"I..."
I wanted to tell him. I wanted to say that I was jealous and that was why I walked away. But I couldn't. I didn't want him to know. Not yet. "Ellie, please, are you okay?"
"Not exactly."
"Ellie..."
"I don't know what to say Paul. I just don't know."
"Please..."
"I can't. I want to tell you, but I can't. I just can't."
I walked away. Even thought I didn't want too, I had to. As much as I wanted to be near him, I just couldn't.
Fifth period was okay. We were just working on work in partners. I was with Embry of course. But almost the entire time, Embry was trying to talk to me about Paul, about what happened. "Ellie...come on. If you keep holding it back, it's just going to explode. You were jealous."
"So what if I was?"
"Then why did you walk away from Paul?"
"Because..."
"Ellie..."
"I...I'm scared."
That was the truth. I didn't know what was going to happen. I didn't know how things with Paul would go. I was afraid I would get hurt. "He would never purposely hurt you. He cares about you too. You just need to let go, to take that chance. You two work well together. Just push past whatever issues you have. You take chances anyways. Take a chance on this."
I wanted to speak. But his words were trying to sink in. For the rest of the class I couldn't even focus on the work.
Art class was nerve wrecking for me. Paul was still sitting next to me as usual. The only good thing was that we were all giving things to do and my focus was on that. I could feel his attention on me. I could feel him next to me, though I never looked at him. I felt the heat radiating from his body. First thought was to move closer, to hug him, to do something. But my mind was not allowing me to do so.
Instantly, I was gone. As soon as the bell rang, I was to my truck and on the way home to my Grandma. She knew something was up as soon as I came in. She smiled, hugged me and lead to sit on the sofa. "Ellie. Talk to me. What's wrong?"
And I explained to her all that happened. She listened, taking everything in. "Ellie, sweetheart. Talk to him. Nothing has to happen. Just talk to him, let him know how you feel. Try and sort things out. If something happens then great, if not then it wasn't meant to. Just try."
"But I'm..."
"Afraid? I know. But life is about taking chances. If your mother never took the chance of getting that job, you wouldn't be here. If I never took the chance to fall for your grandpa, you wouldn't be alive. You have to take a chance to get something out of it. Taking no risks means things will stay the same."
"I..."
She was right. Embry said something similar but it just didn't hit until now. Having her tell me helped a bit as well. It just cemented the idea of what the truth was. "Go. Go to Sam and Emily's. He'll probably be there."
"Grandma."
"Ellie. Just go talk to him."
Leaving all but my wallet and cell phone, I grabbed my keys and left. If nothing happened then nothing happened but I at least had to talk to him.
Not a long distance but it did seem to take a while. The mental aspect, the constant thinking, is what made it seem like forever. Answering the door, Emily was surprised to see me. "Ellie, how are you? I didn't expect to see you today."
"I didn't expect to be here either. I need to talk to Paul, and this is the first place I'm checking."
"He's here. Let me get him. Come on in."
"Thank you Emily."
She gave me a smile and walked off to find Paul. When she found him, I heard. "Paul...you have a guest."
"Emily I don't think I..."
"Trust me on this one. You will want to talk."
A moment later, Paul came into the hallway. A look of shock came over him when he saw me.
I just walked outside, with him behind me. We stood there for a moment. I just didn't know what to say. "Ellie."
"Paul, I'm sorry."
"For what?"
"For walking away. I was just scared."
"You have no reason to be scared."
"I realize that now. Talking to Embry and Grandma helped. I'm still a little scared. But if I don't take the chance, I will regret it."
"What are you talking about?"
"Do you want to know why I left at lunch? I was jealous. Truly and honestly jealous. I didn't want her touching you. And the way she was speaking was too much for me to handle. I like you Paul, more than I wanted to admit at first. But I..."
I didn't stop myself. He kissed me. He just grabbed my cheeks and kissed me. Soft, sweet, gentle, short. But in that kiss I felt it. Passion, caring, everything. When he pulled away, I wasn't having it. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him. The touch of his lips on mine made me shiver. Wrapping his arms around my waist, he pulled me closer. I molded to him, like I was meant to be there. It felt...right. We struggled for dominance. Both of us wanted to be in control.
We had to stop though. Air was definitely needed. Smiling, I put my head against his chest, listening to his racing heart. "I've wanted to do that for a long time."
"I'm glad we finally did Paul."
"So...be my girl?"
"On one condition."
He pulled back just enough so he could see my face. "Yeah? And what is that?"
"If you let me kick Marianne's ass if she tries to talk to you or touch you again."
He just laughed. "I would love to see that. I'll take it."
Leaning on my tip-toes, I kissed him one more time.
This time we were interrupted. By clapping and whistling. All the guys were right there, as was Kim, Liz, and Emily. I couldn't help but bury my head in his chest and hide the blush that crept upon my cheeks. "Angel..."
"Yes?"
"Let's head inside for a moment."
I just nodded and let him guide me inside.
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Yay! Paul And Ellie finally got together! Woohoo! *does little dance* Things are finally moving along. and I want to mention something. I'm not sure if any of you got this or not but this story is set within the time of Eclipse. I'm pretty sure I didn't mention that. But now you know. And another small note (I know, I'm full of them today) Thank you to those of you who have supported this story so far. I really do appreciate it. It really is nice to know what people think. Anywho...I might not be able to update for a little bit. My work schedule is a little hectic at the mmoment and I have some family events coming up. But I will update as soon as I can.
