Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all.

Rated M for several reasons.

Chapter 8 Home

BPOV

Everyone else is already there when Char, Pete and I arrive Friday night, gathered out on the back deck barbequing up a storm despite the late season chill coming off the sea.

This is what I love about the Cullens, there's no awkwardness, no undercurrents, just a family that's easily expanded to accommodate a few more of us over the years, getting together to get us all over a rough patch.

Even the enormous wedding cake sitting bizarrely in the middle of the kitchen counter isn't intended as an admonishment, it's just a pragmatic realisation that the damn thing needs to be eaten. Or, if you're Em, a challenge.

Inevitably though the reason we're here and not whooping it up in a hotel down the road comes up in conversation.

But not until we've all eaten ourselves into our pyjamas and the Cullen's awesome family room.

"When do you go back to Kentucky?" Pete asks Edward as we're letting our well fed bellies stretch out.

"I'm not due back for a couple of weeks." Edward shrugs. "I might head back sooner though, fortunately I haven't leased out my apartment yet."

"What are you going to do with that gorgeous house the pair of you bought?" Alice asks.

"Sell it I suppose. I don't think Tanya would ever have moved to Kentucky of her own accord and it was never really my taste."

"Too modern for you." Alice laughs.

"Too much glass and polished stone, it would have been like living in airport terminal."

"I did wonder why you bought it." Esme chuckles.

Edward just shrugs again, clearly not really wanting to talk about it and a hush falls.

"Come on." Carlisle decides, getting to his feet and dragging Esme with him. "Lets get to bed and let the younger generation cut loose without us."

There's a chorus of good nights and a round of smiles until the door closes behind them.

"Right." Em says, producing a baggie and flinging it at Rose. "Skin up my Deftly Fingered Reason for Existence, I bought this because I didn't think any of us would want to get drunk the night before the wedding."

"You bought this because you knew I'd kill you if you did." She snorts, leaning forward to use the coffee table.

"Now, now." He chuckles. "You'd better roll Edward one of his own, he's not looking nearly morose enough yet."

"Fuck you." Edward grins, flipping his brother the finger.

"Ali sweetie." Em says, ignoring him. "Stick a movie on, we don't care if it's a chick flick."

"I know just the thing." She laughs, getting up to rifle in the cabinet.

Edward takes the first hit of the joint and nearly chokes on it as we all start laughing.

"Runaway Bride? Seriously. You suck."

"We thought you might need some pointers for next time." Jasper laughs, slapping him heartily on the back.

"Fuck." Edward groans, wiping his watering eyes and handing the joint on.

"Are we getting dressed up tomorrow?" Alice asks earning her a collective groan.

"Alice, babe." Rose drawls. "That's a bit, um, help me out Em."

"Sick? Twisted? In poor taste?"

"Its not." Alice objects as Jasper pats her knee consolingly. "I love my dress, and my hat, what if I never get to wear them?"

"Save it for his next wedding." Pete suggests, taking a drag on the rapidly diminishing joint and passing it to me over Char, who has shaken her head for obvious reasons.

"Pfft." Rose snorts, handing off the next one she's rolled to Em. "It'll be a cold day in hell before he can persuade any other woman to take him seriously."

"Could we please not talk about me like I'm not here?" Edward asks.

"No." Em responds without looking at him. "You can wear your frock tomorrow if you want Ali, we can pretend he's getting married, like aversion therapy or something."

"What are we doing tomorrow?" I ask sensibly.

"Good question Cyggers." Em laughs. "We're not sitting around here moping all day that's for sure."

"Well we're not going out on the razz either." Rose points out. "That would hardly be fair to Tanya."

We all nod and Edward shifts uncomfortably, frowning.

"Hey." Em says, levelling a pointed look at him. "You fucked up dude, might as well start learning to live with it. Unless you want us to help you stage a last minute attempt to win her back?"

The two brothers stare at each other for a moment and Edward looks away first.

"I apologise." He says quietly. "To all of you and to her. I should never have let it get this far. I knew I didn't love her but I hoped . . . ."

We gape at him for a moment, that, for Edward, a man who rarely if ever reveals anything, is quite a statement.

"Bro." Em says gently, leaning over to pass his brother a joint. "I can't deny that you should have manned up to it sooner, for Tanya's sake, but we're your family, none of us would have wanted to see you do something that didn't make you happy."

"Thanks Em." Edward murmurs and we all swallow back the lumps in our throats as they hug.

"Fabulous." Rose drawls. "But that doesn't solve the problem of what we're going to do tomorrow."

"Let's take the boat out." Em suggests. "No one can bother us then."

That pleases everyone except Edward and me.

Oh well . . . .

...

I'm warm. And comfortable. And not a little bit turned on.

Mmm. Sex dream . . . .

A huge body is spooned up behind me, almost smothering me into the cushions, warm breath on my neck.

Mmm. Goosebumps.

I arch my back and the warm weight shifts to cover me, hips rolling languidly into mine.

Mmm. The hand on my stomach clenches and releases with the rolling hips. Rhythmic. Hypnotic.

"Want." A sleepy voice rasps in my ear. "Need."

Mmm. Me too. My hips push back, rubbing my ass into the hardness pressing against it.

"Bella, want you so much."

I moan in response pushing back again as the hand slides down my body, which clearly thinks him having me is a very good idea right now. My brain, however, is now wise to the fact that I'm not asleep.

"Edward." I hiss, jabbing him in the solar plexus with my elbow. "Sleep humping. Not nice."

"Is." He groans, hand sliding down inside my pyjama bottoms. "Very nice."

His long fingers are just about to quest under the lace of my panties, and my body is all set to let them, when my brain decides that enough is enough.

"Edward. Stop. Today is your wedding day."

He groans again, rolling away from me.

"That did the trick." He sighs. "I'm sorry Bella, apparently my self control is no good around you either."

"That's not me." I murmur as I snuggle back down into the cushions, resolutely ignoring my body which isn't best pleased with my brain. "That's the Dawn Horn. Take it in the bathroom."

"No need." He drawls. "I think you've killed it. I may never get an erection again."

"Trying to sleep here."

"I'm cold now." He complains.

"Fine." I huff, rolling over and burrowing into his side. "Better?"

"Much better."

...

"Aw." I hear someone sigh when I surface again later. "Should we wake them up?"

"No." Esme replies with a smile in her voice. "Leave them be, they'll get up when they're ready and they both get seasick anyway."

The family room door closes softly and I open my eyes.

The drapes are filtering out most of the light but I can see his profile clearly from where I lie clamped to his side. I've woken up with him more times than I can count but not for quite a few years now. It should feel uncomfortable but it doesn't, in an odd way despite all the elapsed time, it's just us. Funny how easily and quickly you can slip back into some of your old habits.

The clock on the wall says its after ten, I really should get up. Maybe another five minutes . . . .

...

My nose twitches, it's warm and moist and this is very, very wrong.

But the smell isn't.

"Coffee?" Edward asks as I crack my eyes open.

My eyes slide past him to the clock. Noon. Then they're pulled back to the steaming mug.

He wafts it gently, laughing when my eyes follow it like a cat with a toy.

"You'll have to sit up, I'm not holding it for you."

"Useless." I huff, wriggling upright and holding my hands out.

"Have they gone sailing?" I ask after I've taken a sip and he's propped himself up beside me with his own mug.

"They have, pretty stellar sleeping in on our part to have 'missed the boat'."

We chink mugs, laughing. Esme was right, Edward and I usually end up below decks sharing a bowl and a strong desire to be back on dry land.

He picks up the remote and flicks the TV on, and by unspoken agreement we settle down to idle the afternoon away.

And eventually I find the courage I've been looking for.

"I'm sorry."

"What for?" He asks, muting the TV.

"For everything that happened, you'd be married now if it weren't for me and my crazy life."

"Bella, I don't know where to start with what's wrong with that statement. Did you not listen to my message, hear what I said last night?"

I nod, focussing on Storage Wars Texas.

"I didn't love her. I never loved her. I don't think I have it in me to do that, with anyone. I'm the defective Cullen that proves the rule."

"Then why . . . . no scrub that, it's none of my business."

"Why did I ask her to marry me? That's a long story . . . ."

A door bangs open and noisy life returns to the house, invading our still darkened sanctuary.

"Jesus Christ!" Em exclaims, barging in. "You could have at least showered and dressed while we were out, what's wrong with you people?"

...

Esme orders dinner in and Carlisle to open the wine.

Here we go . . . .

...

An unquantifiable number of hours later I find myself topping and tailing with her on one of the couches.

Competitive shouting is happening somewhere else is the house but we're in a relative oasis of calm.

"I'm glad you came." She sighs, sipping her wine. "I worry about you being lonely in New York, especially with Jake gone."

"I'm too busy to be lonely."

She snorts and I dip my head in acknowledgement.

"I'm too busy to worry about it much." I clarify.

"We're very proud of you." She murmurs. "But it's in our nature to worry."

"You don't need to worry about me." I assure her. "I've developed something of an outer shell."

"That's what worries us. Shells crack Bella. Especially when they're protecting more than they were designed for."

I swirl my wine, contemplating it before deciding to open up a bit.

"I sometimes wonder whose life it is I've blundered into. I'm living it and doing my best, but, it just doesn't feel right some days. Does that make any sense?"

"For you? Yes. You were such a quiet shy thing the first time I met you. So unsure of yourself. And I love the way you've grown, but none of us could have predicted how it would happen. It must take some getting used to."

"I've been very lucky." I admit, draining my glass.

"I want to thank you, for being here for Edward this weekend."

"I haven't done anything."

"You have. Trust me."

"I'm sorry things didn't work out for him, for you. It would have been nice for them to have balanced out the family."

"Pfft. Bella. This family has been balanced for years. I'm sad for him but I remain hopeful that everything will turn out right in the long run."