16 Ways to Annoy Jasper
1. Show him all of the creepy fanfics where he and Bella do it… and by "it", I mean throw Alice a party! You can get rid of that last part, actually, if you want. Whatever pisses him off more.
2. Eat Alice.
3. Step on Alice.
4. Die his hair black and give him side bangs.
5. Put eyeliner on him. Buckets of it.
6. Tell him that it's okay to "let it out".
7. Ask him out…
8. And when he tells you he's with Alice, gasp and say, "I always thought you were gay!"
9. Draw fake blood across your arm and show it to him.
10. Tell him that cutting the pain away isn't always the best option.
11. Show him the bloodiest and goriest movie in your DVD collection. (Unless you only have, like, two DVDs. That won't work.)
12. Every time you walk past him, say "pansy". Cover it up with a cough…
13. "Faggot" works too. As does "Tinkerbell".
14. Buy him a box of tissues.
15. Paint his nails black.
16. Tell him that it's time to "come out of the closet" sooner or later, and that no matter what, you'll always love him.
Ugh. I'm feeling so uncreative today, but I feel like writing. Weird… Not sure who to do next, but maybe Alice… any ideas?
