A/N: I'm really quite surprised at how well I'm keeping up with these chapters and at least attempting to keep within the storyline, or at least some form of a storyline. I can't really say I know how the Zanpakuto thing works, I think my sister made me watch a few episodes of it but again, this is like my first Shinigami-type story so I'm still trying to hang in with the characters. If things start to line into a bit of OOC, I apologize it could be because of my lack of likeness in the Shinigamis (not to say that I hate them, they're just lower on my list) or it could be because of my own interpretation of their attitudes- which could just be wrong overall. Either way, it may or may not happen, I just want to throw some forewarning in advance. Thanks for the reviews, guys, they keep me motivated to keep up with my constant updates which is usually rare for me to do.
She groaned lightly as consciousness seemed to flood itself willingly into her brain. Her body ached far too greatly for her to even want to think at this point. Although, what exactly was it that she was waking up from? Okay, so there were two options here, she either: A, fell asleep or B, she passed out. Both of which were similar and very likely to have happened. Then again, looking back on all the energy wasted from puking up her stomach, she wasn't really surprised she managed to make herself go unconscious; it seemed like a liable reaction.
Ugh, there was that horrible aftertaste still in the back of her mouth though.
Pushing herself from her covers, she managed to roll herself from the bed and unsteadily got to her feet. Her balance was still a little off, but it was getting better as she shuffled across her bedroom. One hand rubbed at her still sleeping eyes while the other fumbled to get her bedroom door open. Despite the last few hours in the bathroom, she found herself still craving something- God, she hoped it wasn't one of those weird food cravings Nanao had told her about. Where was Nanao anyways? She remembered the woman somewhat holding her in the bathroom and going off on the different details about the things to come in this upcoming pregnancy; half of it, she was not looking forward to. The situation got blurry after that and then just kind of dropped off into darkness, which was probably about the time she eventually fell asleep.
Shuffling down the corridor, she paused slightly at the small echo of voices coming from one of the rooms further in front of her. Her dark eyes narrowed slightly at the echoed conversation before she slowly moved herself towards it; it had been a long, long time since she had heard voices this late at night- or at least she assumed it was nighttime now. How long had she been out? Easing herself towards the voices, she listened a bit more intently before she realized that she recognized them. There was Matsumoto and, that comment was made by Nanao… and that was Isane sighing. What were they doing here? Not that she didn't mind their company, she just didn't quite feel completely up to it- not to mention, she had a headache to take care of first.
"Considering the timing of this… would… would he ever know?" Matsumoto questioned as she leaned back on her arms; her blonde locks flooded over her shoulders but did little to hide the exhausted look in her eyes.
"Not likely." Isane replied with another long sigh; her body felt like it hurt from the long hours she had put in that day- but it had been spent doing a few things here or there, nothing too major that would caused for her back to ache like it did. She tried to rub at the heavy knot that had settled on the back of her neck- this came to no avail on the matter though. "I mean… she couldn't be more than a few weeks, right? Which, in given the timeframe as it is… it matches up to about the days before he left; days before he had faked his death. How did we… not pick up on this? I mean, she was in Division Four for a few days after he stabbed her. How did we not know?"
"Well it's not like you were looking for a baby." Matsumoto reminded as she rubbed at the back of her neck as if to mimic the other Lieutenant. "It was probably too early to even detect at that point anyways. And I hate to bring this up but… this whole matter isn't going to go over well…"
Nanao shook her head as she carefully pushed up on her glasses once more. "Of course not. Everyday we're reminded of what Aizen did to Soul Society; everyday we remember what his betrayal did to our structure. No one can trust each other, everyone's on edge and we all want to blame someone; we all think someone should have caught on but… the truth is, is his scheme was practically foil proof up to the day of his departure. People… aren't going to react well to this kind of news. If anything, they'll be outraged."
"Yeah but… they couldn't be outraged at her, can they? I mean, it's not like she knew-" Matsumoto started.
"You see, that's the problem; people don't want to accept that she didn't know anything. You saw how close she was to him. How could she not have known with that kind of relationship?" Nanao remarked. "And that's how people are going to twist this situation around. I mean, what if it had been Hitsugaya who betrayed us? People would be pointing fingers at you; they want to have someone to blame because it makes the situation just a little easier to deal with. That way, they don't have to blame themselves for their own incompetence. I don't know where to start with the possibilities of how this is going to end but… it's… it sounds like it's going to be a losing situation for her regardless."
"You don't think they would do anything… do you?" Isane questioned.
"It's… possible. I mean, she's pregnant with the child of Soul Society's greatest threat. There are all sorts of options that they could choose. They could… use this to gain an advantage on him, see if they could play it off and draw him into a vulnerable state; we don't know how he would react to it, so it's possible that he would want to come back for her. In which case, she would be held like a prisoner in her own home. Other options are… not as bright as that one."
"How exactly is that bright?" Matsumoto grimaced.
Nanao sighed deeply and lightly rested her hands in her lap; her next set of words were hard to find and even harder to form. "Well at least in that possible option they… they would let both her and the child live. It's cruel but… it's still possible that they would want her to get rid of it or just kill them both. I don't know and frankly to say, I don't want to think about it. We have no way of knowing… hell we don't even have all the details of this situation."
"Would the circumstance change if… if the child wasn't willing?" Matsumoto spoke; struggling to get the words out. "I mean… if she was so reluctant to tell us till now, even though she knew who the father was from the start… Is it a possibility? She was so close to him, I don't think she would've even known the difference."
"It's hard to accept that kind of scenario but it's still plausible." Isane nodded.
"I have to agree but… we don't know, only she does." Nanao whispered tiredly.
They weren't really having that kind of conversation, right?
They weren't talking about what she thought they were… right?
She slowly backed away from the doorway along with her better judgment; hell, she didn't even have the guts to let them know of her presence- and let them know she had overheard everything. Just the thought that they would talk about it like that, it squeezed at her lungs and almost brought a stifled gasp from her lips. God, she was losing more and more control over her emotions but if she let them slip anymore, they would be able to tell she was nearby.
She ran back down the corridor as quietly as she could and stopped at her open bedroom door for a moment but passed it on. It only took a few more hallways and a turn here or there before she found her way to the roof hatch. Whenever she panicked, she would spend hours up here- it was the only place that still felt safe. Pulling herself up along the locker, she almost welcomed the cold night air against her skin. The stark reality of the breeze hit her hard and kept her awake; it was the one thing she liked about the cold… it reminded her of her vulnerability. Slowly walking on the slanted roof slabs, she found her usual spot and carefully seated herself on the familiar shingles.
Was that what everyone was questioning?
That she would allow for herself to be taken advantage of? She was but not in that sense- if anything, that was the last kind of situation to be spoken of in such manner. It was just… God, it felt like it physically hurt her to hear them talk about her that way. She couldn't blame them and if anything, she was the one who walked in on it but… she just didn't want this whole thing to explode. But those were just empty wishes; empty wishes that would dissolve under the oncoming pressure from the outside world- from those who were outside to her.
"How long are you going to sit up here and gripe about this?"
She frowned slightly at the words and pulled her knees into her chest. Tobiume was the last person she wanted to speak to right now.
"I heard that."
"Well then maybe you should get the hint." she replied.
A long sigh echoed from the spirit before the air space next to her seemed to shift and collect to form the familiar look of the woman. Her face was set in a look of discontent but she attempted to at least keep most of her comments to herself.
"You're going to get nowhere in this if you just sit up here and cry about it."
"Then what do you suggest I do?"
The woman nodded her head slowly as though that question was the one question she had been waiting her entire life to answer. "Simple really. You need to refocus your emotions and turn your weakness into a strength. He's not… going to be here for you, Hinamori, which means you need to work harder to defend yourself. We may not get along greatly at times but.. I know there's more power in you than you let on. So, you need to unleash it; you need to tap into those reserves and make yourself stronger. If not for you then… for that child that's growing inside of you. Do you think you can raise it if you act like such a weakling?"
She had to admit… the words stung a bit to hear but she was right; for once, Tobiume was giving her sound advice. "I… I'm not in the condition to train anymore but… I think I'll still be able to make myself stronger."
"When you can take yourself back onto the training field… we're going to work together. We're both going to achieve that Bankai and… you're going to take over the Fifth Division. You used to speak so warmly of it; you called it your home… I almost miss those words."
"I know you never liked him but… if something happens… you're not going to leave me, right?"
"Pft, please, even if I wanted to I couldn't." Tobiume replied before she decided to quickly add. "But I don't because without me, I don't know if you would be able to protect yourself; I feel like if I'm not here, then anything is possible to happen. It even seems like you can't trust the friends that you have-"
"That's not true, they were just… they're just worried and scared… like I am." she started. "I went off and dragged them all into this. And if something happens, they could get blamed for not telling someone about this whole situation."
"… Regardless, I'll still be here. If anything happens though, I expect for you to give me full permission to do what I think is necessary."
She listened to the spirit speak and for a moment, there almost seemed a light hint of humor in her voice; no doubt she had been waiting for a long time to get such a request fulfilled. "It will depend. I don't want to… rush into anything just yet but… I guess I'll have to trust your judgment if a situation like that arises."
"Excellent, I will put my plans into order then."
"Wait, what plans?" Momo started to question, only to watch as the sword spirit vanished into thin air. "Tobiume! Tobiu- that's not very funny."
Ugh, sometimes the woman just annoyed her and she bet it was on purpose too.
"Hinamori? Are you up here?"
Of course, she would give herself away like that, right when she no longer felt like dealing with anyone. Maybe if she just remained quiet, no one would find her. Yeah, like that was going to happen. She couldn't cut a break with her sword if she wanted to.
"Are you up here?" Matsumoto called as she pulled herself through the roof hatch. "What are you doing? It's too cold to be up here and it's far too late to be out."
"I'm fine, it's just… I have a lot to think about right now."
"It's okay if you want to think inside too."
"I just don't feel like being around anyone else right now." Hinamori replied; watching as the woman tried to hide her mild sense of disappointment at the words. "I'll just… I'll go back inside when I feel like it. I'm sorry if I worried you."
It took the blonde-haired woman a moment before she slowly nodded. "Okay, if you need anything, we're all downstairs."
"I know, I overheard all of you in there earlier."
