Disclaimer: I do not own The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya or any of its characters. I also do not own any of the materials referenced in this story either. This was made for entertainment purposes only and not for profit. So there you go.
A/N: Forgive me, but this one is super short. I thought this up while in bed. Hope you'll all like it anyway.
One-Winged Brigade Chief:
Kyon was on the phone talking to Haruhi in his room. She had called him while he was right in the middle of playing a video game, so he had to pause and save it. The game in question was Final Fantasy 7.
"Make sure you bring cash, okay? We'll be stopping by WcDonalds once we- oh hang on Kyon, my mom needs something. COMING!" the phone went quiet as Haruhi went speak to her mother.
Kyon sighed; he was just about to get to the final battle with Sephiroth when Haruhi had called his house to go patrolling. He really wanted to make that bastard pay for killing Aeris! Kyon's mind debated whether or not he should keep playing until Haruhi got back or wait until he got back from patrolling the park.
Decisions, decisions........
I could just fight Sephiroth while I wait for Haruhi, he thought, But if I beat him now I'll have to sit through the ending credits and that would take too long. I really don't need Haruhi to be nagging me for being late. Man, I wish the magic spell, Haste, was real....
Turning the game off, Kyon wandered over to his dresser to obtain his wallet. While making sure he had enough dough to treat everyone, he absentmindedly began to hum the lyrics to "One-Winged Angel". After realizing he was, he started doing it again. It really was a popular song and catchy too. Much easier to hum than "Dancing Mad" in his opinion anyway.
Still humming, Kyon picked up the phone and listened; still no Haruhi.
"Sephiroth, Sephiroth....." he half-heartedly sang out.
It was there, that an idea began to take shape in Kyon's head. Just a way to amuse himself till Haruhi got back. So, in the safety and comfort of his bedroom, Kyon began to come up with some rather interesting, alternate lyrics to One-Winged Angel in his head.
"Makes Koizumi kiss her ass, then ignores Nagato
Makes me her man-slave, then abuses Asahina
HARUHI, HARUHI!!!
Has powers of a god, gets angry easily
Generates a closed space, Celestials come to wreck the place
HARUHI, HARUHI!!!
Ultra Director, Ultra Director, Ultra Director
Leader of our Brigade
HARUHI, HARUHI!!!"
He smiled to himself. That was a pretty good song. Maybe he'd sing for the rest of the Brigade when Haruhi was out of earshot. Getting back on the phone, Kyon listened for any signs of Haruhi. Still none.
Tapping his fingers on his bed, Kyon once again found himself humming his newly thought-up song. It was quite odd how a silver-haired megalomaniac with parental issues and a teenage girl with reality warping powers shared so many issues with each other. Though in the back of his mind, Kyon felt that Haruhi identified with Kefka a bit better. Or Exdeath. Or Ultimecia. Or Kuja. Come to think of it, Haruhi's personality seemed to fit in with a lot of Final Fantasy villains.
"Makes Koizumi kiss her ass, then ignores Nagato
Makes me her man-slave, then abuses Asahina
HARUHI, HARUHI!!!
Ha-"
"KYON!"
"AAACCCKKK!"
Oh, crap... thought Kyon, Was I singing aloud!?
"So, Kyon....." came a sickly sweet voice from the other end of the phone. "You think you're my man-slave, hmmm?"
Kyon desperately fought back against the urge to hang up and said, "Hey, Haruhi, who do you think is cooler? Sephiroth or Kefka?"
A/N: I swear the NEXT chapter will have new characters. I promise. For real. It will contain:
Dragon Ball Z!
The Opening of Haruhi Season 2!
The Rickroll! (NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO)
Review Haruhi-worshippers! Your yellow ribbon-wearing goddess demands it!
