Author's Note: I don't own Azumanga Daioh, and I am powered by reviews! Rarargh! Without enough reviews I'll have to move on to a secondary power source, like... puppies! You wouldn't want me to power myself with puppies, would you?
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Five girls still sat at the table, but only three were currently conversing with each other. While Yomi desperately tried to get Chiyo coherent enough to pay for the meal and perhaps walk out of the door, Kagura, Tomo, and Sakaki chatted idly.
"So, Sakaki," started Kagura, watching Yomi and Chiyo with halfhearted interest, "whatever happened to Maya?"
"That's right!" shouted Tomo. "I still owe that cat one for scratching me!"
"I donated him to one of the more prestigious zoos in Japan."
"Whaat?" shouted a drunken Chiyo. "Yeh bin sooo happeh when that there cat wen' an' come inter yer life, and yah jus' give 'im away! ...was 'e a girl or a boy?"
Sakaki eyed the druken genius warily, and simply answered, "As I started my training to be a vet, I learned quite a lot about very many animals, but I also learned a lot about exactly how frail life is in general. There's simply no way that I could have given Maya the care he deserved, and so I decided that if I truly loved him, I'd have to let him go."
"So the old saying goes," Yomi said. "Anyway, now that Chiyo seems to be more or less conscious, we should probably be headed home." She paused for a second, eyeing the amount of money Chiyo was putting down and subtracting the amount she'd seen on the bill. "If you tip that generously, I don't think it really matters how crazy you get, they'll be overjoyed to see you back here."
Tomo thought about this for a second. "Speaking of which, where's Osaka?" she asked.
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Six men ran down the street, racing towards a Japanese sushi bar. Casual observers would probably have assumed that they simply really, really, really wanted some raw fish and rice, but most would also figure that as great as sushi is, it usually doesn't warrant that much of a reaction, unless of course the sushi bar was an exceptionally fantastic place.
It is currently undetermined as to whether or not this is an effective means of advertisement.
It is generally accepted, however, that what the men did after they arrived at the sushi bar did not help business at all.
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Osaka grinned at the couple, the wry sort of grin that tells people things like, "I know something that you don't, but I'm going to rectify this problem shortly."
The couple grinned back, the uneasy sort of grin that tells people things like, "Hey, go the hell away."
Osaka was never that good at reading faces.
She waved a piece of sushi at them, laughing madly. "Bwahah! You see this sushi here? He's got the greatest story ever, you know? I've... you... you've got to hear this! Fufufufu! I mean, there are a lot of fish tales here, but this guy's story, it takes the cake!"
They stared.
"You know this little guy here, this fish tale? Well, you see, he's been reincarnated. He's been reincarnated a lot of times, don't you know? Why? Maybe we all get reincarnated after a while, and we're just generally wrong with some of the more major religions. Maybe reincarnation isn't that special. But I digress! Hahahah! He's special, of course, and here I go, getting to the bit that makes this guy special! Heheh!"
They smiled and nodded at the otherwise entirely calm-looking Japanese girl standing before them, waving a piece of sushi.
"So anyway, this guy's a reincarnate, right? But the gag is, of course, that his reincarnations never really last long! I mean, he's lived a lot of lives, and he's probably done something to be really happy about each and every one, but for each and every single one he dies of some sort of unnatural cause! And you know what the biggest gag is? Huehuehuehue!"
The man looked uneasily at the woman, who gave him the same look back, and the two of them conspired to focus their uneasy glares at the brown-eyed girl accosting them with fish. She didn't notice, of course.
"Yeah! The biggest gag is that you killed him!" shouted Osaka, pointing at the man and shouting it in a language that most could understand. "You killed him each and every time! Jehehehehe! You know that ant you stepped on a while back? That was this guy! That deer you caught in the woods? Bingo! Kekekeke! That fish you're eating right now! Still more of this guy, although I wound up with some of him! Pwahahaha! You see, it's all you, man! Those leather boots you're wearing? He used to be a cow too!"
"Hey! Osaka!" shouted Kagura. "Leave the nice people alone! We're going!"
"Hmm? Oh, alright then, I'm comin'." She turned to the couple and put the piece of sushi down on their table. "I suppose that you and this little guy have a bit of catchin' up to do, right?"
The man popped the piece of sushi in his mouth as he watched the strange girl run off to join her friends who, sans the smiling cloak and the drunken 15 year-old, looked pretty damned normal.
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Rémy Beaufort watched the girls get ready to leave. What used to be sushi sat in front of him, a very much mashed mess consisting of soy sauce, rice, fish, and assorted vegetables. He glanced down at it and figured that it was probably fitting for his mood at the moment, and considered simply slurping it all down as atonement for what he'd considered a failed opportunity.
He fingered the pistol in his pocket.
If worse comes to worse, I'll just have to do it myself.
Rémy glanced up at the window and saw six men run by, presumably headed for the entrance. He breathed a sigh of relief and watched them as they barged in the restaurant looking very much like a group of armed thugs, which is exactly what they were.
The six men quickly found the six girls and, amongst them, their target.
"Hold it! Just give us the little one, and we won't hurt you!" shouted one.
Rémy watched, shocked, as first one girl dropped down, and then the other five fell.
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Tomo glanced at the six men standing across from her group of friends. She noted their firearms, and more importantly noted that the firearms were still holstered.
She glanced at her ring on her right hand and figured that it had enough juice left to knock out one, maybe two people.
Tomo grinned at the six men, the kind of grim grin that says, "I'm about to surprise you, and it's not going to be fun for either of us."
She dropped down and swept her foot around, tripping her friends.
"Stay down!" shouted Tomo, and suddenly she was in the midst of the six men.
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Chiyo suddenly found herself face to face with the floor. She was reasonably sure she'd been standing, but she also was reasonably sure that she couldn't be trusted in her current state of mind. She glanced up and watched the world flash from the off-white roof to a bright and offensive yellow color, and then the world flashed to Tomo's grinning face for a split second before returning to the ceiling color.
Chiyo considered getting up, but figured that the floor was a perfectly fine place as well.
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Yomi suddenly found herself on the floor.
What the hell just happened here?
"Stay down!" shouted Tomo.
Yomi glanced over to the source of the voice just in time to see the bright yellow happy face on her cloak flicker and vanish. It was replaced by a plethora of images, all random pictures of Tomo's grinning face. Yomi glanced up and took a few seconds to register which one was really her friend's face.
Yomi heard the crackle of electricity, and the man who Tomo had just punched didn't bother getting up again.
Tomo's foot lashed out suddenly, but the man she kicked out at caught her leg easily.
"Weak kick. You can't win." he said, simply.
Yomi watched as the grin vanished from Tomo's face, replaced by a look of grim determination. She quickly decided that Tomo without her perpetual grin was one of the most frightening things she had ever seen.
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The man held Tomo's leg in a strong arm, grinning at the girl. Her grin vanished, but before he could celebrate his victory, she kicked out again with her other leg. The motion looked like a single kick, but he could've sworn that he felt three distinct, simultaneous hits. He let go of the captive leg, shocked, and it zoomed away from him, only to come back from the other side of Tomo in a roundhouse kick that put him out of the fight as well.
A third man reached for his pistol, but Tomo dashed in. A fist to the gut and a second one to the wrist ended any hopes of drawing his firearm on the wildcat. A tripping kick knocked him over and sent the pistol skittering off far, far away from the fight. She leaped on his chest and jumped from there to the next man.
The fourth man was just now registering the fact that three of his comrades had been felled in the blink of an eye. Another blink, and Tomo was next to him as well. A backhand strike to the face brought him back to reality, and a knee to the gut reminded him of just how painful reality was. A third strike to the solar plexus sent him back out of reality.
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Kagura watched Tomo move amongst the men, knocking them down and out without any weaponry. The berserker was moving unnaturally fast, in a fashion that Kagura had never seen in all her years as an athlete. Tomo's face also lacked its nigh-constant, mirthful Cheshire grin. The athlete wasn't sure whether to cheer for Tomo or to mourn the loss of her endless smile.
Then Tomo started to slow down. As suddenly as she'd sped up and struck down seveal men, the wildcat had slowed down, looking incredibly fatigued. One of the men drew his pistol and shot at her. Tomo cried out and fell down.
He walked over to her, firearm still focused on the Tomo's prone figure.
Why can't I move? thought Kagura to herself, angrily. I can help! Why am I not helping? She's out there, maybe bleeding to death, and I'm just lying here... afraid! What's wrong with me?
"Now now, boys, that's quite enough." said a pleasant voice, speaking with a slight French accent. "We at BAD are not murderers, so if you girls would just hand the young Mihama over, we'll be on our way and you can go get your friend here some much needed medical attention." Rémy motioned to the two men to grab Chiyo, smiling wanly the whole time.
Move, damnit! Leap up and strike one of them, Kagura! Why... why are you just lying here?
Kagura watched as the men picked up Chiyo's tiny figure and walked calmly out the door. They'd left the four men that Tomo had taken out sprawled out over the floor of the restaurant. Kagura willed her muscles to move, but her body stayed still, defiant, as she watched the men take one of her childhood friends away and leave another one bleeding on the ground.
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Sakaki ran over to Tomo, who was lying on the ground, not moving yet. She glanced behind her, noting that Yomi, Osaka, and Kagura were still sprawled on the ground.
Probably still shocked at these events. It's... understandable, but something's got to be done about Tomo right now.
Sakaki turned Tomo over, searching for the wound. She pulled off the cloak, leaving Tomo with just her undergarments on underneath, along with a strange mechanical rig whose only purpose seemed to be to hold a group of miniature fans, though whether they were to make the cloak billow dramatically all the time or simply to keep Tomo cool, Sakaki was uncertain.
"Hey! I need that... you perv!" murmured Tomo, sounding extremely winded.
Sakaki ignored her, looking for the bullet wound. She found it, a small crater below Tomo's shoulder blade, and noted that there wasn't an exit wound. She opened her kit of medical supplies, musing to herself that this was slightly more serious than an injured puppy, and realized something.
I don't have any of the tools that I would need to treat this...
"Don't... don't worry, Tomo." Sakaki said, aiming more to reassure herself than Tomo, whose enamoring smile had returned. "You'll be fine, the ambulance will be here shortly, and, and... it'll be okay."
"No, you can't let those guys take me. Low-key's already sending people to Chiyo's house to pick her up. They'll probably be a bit less pleased about picking up an injured agent instead of the person said agent was supposed to protect, but... everyone has to deal with disappointment sometimes. Just tell Osaka to drive us back home."
Sakaki nodded, and walked over to Kagura, Osaka, and Yomi. Tomo watched the conversation with slight interest.
Kagura walked over to Tomo's torso. She picked her up from the shoulders, Sakaki picked her up by the legs, and Yomi supported her torso. Osaka led the way to the van, silent.
"Hey there, Mizuhara! Don't think I can't tell when you're trying to cop a feel there, yeah? Watch your hands!"
Yomi simply looked down at her friend with sad eyes.
"Ah... damnit. Damnit! Ouch! Ahh! Watch how you're holding me, Kags! That hurts! I'm injured he... hey, wait! Don't cry! I didn't mean it! You're supposed to joke around and stuff, like, 'Hey knucklehead, cut that out!' Damnit, stop crying!"
The three taller girls had eventually managed to put Tomo in the van, lying down.
"Ha! Joke's on you guys! I could've walked!"
No response.
"Say, Sakaki, do you remember how when Maya scratched me, I cried and cried and cried, even though it was just a little scratch? Yeah, well, you know, I'm still bad at handling pain, so I'm just gonna go and pass out now, okay?" said Tomo, and she fell silent.
The wildcat closed her eyes and listened, hoping that someone would speak up, or something. She lay there testily, doing her best impression of an unconscious person. After a while, she tried to do a horrible impression of an unconscious person, hoping that one of her friends would call her on it.
No such luck. It was a long, quiet, and uncomfortable ride home.
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Author's Note: I hate these kinds of chapters. You know, the bit where everything has to be serious because it's really hard to make light of this kind of situation unless you're the bad guys. Why? 'cause then I've got to fight my natural urge to write silly things, or insert stuff that I like, like the little Agrajag bit earlier in this chapter. If y'think the quality's dropped somewhat, well, let's just say that this isn't my element. It's like me trying to write romance stories, or something. I can't take myself seriously enough.
In other news, I'm going to be gone for a good portion of next week, and I may or may not get in another update for Wanderers before I leave. If so, hey, good for me. If not, I can make a quip about having put several days' worth of thought into the chapter instead of, say, two.
Lastly, Rushia, your latest review may have been one of the most ego-boostastic reviews I've ever had the giddy pleasure to read. The fact that it was followed up by Emmalyn's (in the style of the late, great Douglas Adams, of course) made me melt into a little puddle of joy for a few days, which is why this one's slightly late. It's definitely appreciated on this end.
