Ninja vs. Pirates

Log Eight: Tricks of the Trade

Kenko hung up the phone and returned it to Takaru. He then fell to his knees, curled into a ball, and shouted loudly into his chest a bunch of profane, yet undistinguishable, words. Takaru slipped the phone into one of his many hidden ninja pockets and then sat next to Kenko on the ground. He place a hand on Kenko's shoulder.

"Relax," Takaru urged. "I'm sure whatever you were told is not that bad. Come on, what is some new information we learned today?"

"The scrolls are Japanese… not elven," Kenko muttered.

"Japanese? Isn't that the communist country that enslaves children to make cheap crap for various countries around the world… like America?" Takaru asked. "I can't believe we're working for those dipshits."

"Who cares about that!?" Kenko replied. "I didn't learn anything about getting rid of the fucking zombie!"

"How'd it get here anyway?" Takaru asked.

"Apparently, we summoned it through the scroll," Kenko explained. "Now we wait until time elapses and it will disappear on its own."

"How long can that possibly take?" Takaru asked. "Rinki summoned it. I'm sure it'll be gone in a few minutes. If not, then by the end of the day for sure."

Kenko looked at the ground and then over to Takaru. His expression was gravely serious. He put out a hand. "Takaru, give me your phone again. I'm not taking any chances. I'm going to call an expert."


"Hey, crew!" Captain shouted. "Ya'll wanna see a card trick?"

"No!" Keeler shouted. "Not another one of those retarded card tricks."

"Come on, this is a good one… and it requires me to be using more than a few cards so I had Cota go find and pick up the rest," Captain explained. "Ye gonna make all his hard work go fer nutin?"

"Fine," Keeler sighed. "What's the trick?"

"Pick a card, any card!" Captain commanded as he held the cards up, facing away from him. Keeler picked the one with a monkey on it, showed it to Cota and Headrick. After that, he placed the card back in the middle of the deck. "Okay! Now, BEHOLD!" Captain made a very red and stressed face. He then stuck a card down into the back of his pants and pulled out a card, it was the one with a slingshot on it. "This be yer card, lad?"

"No," Keeler sighed. "I'm sure if this trick worked, I'd be totally amazed right now."

"Shut up, land-lover!" Captain ordered.

"I thought it was an excellent trick, sir!" Headrick commented.

"Can it, kiss ass!" Captain ordered. "When I need ass kissing, I'll give the order."

"Yes, sir!" Headrick said.


Kenko returned from outside the camp and gave back Takaru's cell phone. "Okay. We'll be getting some help in a few moments. I know someone from my old ninja village who is good with these kinds of things. I owe this person my life for both healing me from near death situations and diffusing near death situations."

"Oh," Takaru muttered. "Near death. See, a zombie is already dead so your friend will be kind of useless."

"Shut up, Takaru," Kenko ordered. Rinki ran up to them. "What do you have on the walking corpse, Rinki?"

"Um… well… I did what you asked me to and asked various questions to him," Rinki informed. "When I asked about what he wants, he said 'brAIns'. When I asked about where he'd like to go, he said 'brAIns'. When I asked what his favorite color is, because I like to know that about people, he said 'pUrplE'. He seems rather interesting. I like him. All his talk about brains makes me feel like I'm with a smart guy."

"Kenko," Takaru began.

"I know, Takaru," Kenko sighed. "Just ignore it." Kenko turned back to Rinki. "Okay, rookie. You're a Génin now and you can't let your teammates down, right?"

"Of course not, sir!" Rinki agreed.

"Okay. So we're going to take shifts so we can sleep before a new teammate comes here to help us with the situation," Kenko explained. "I'll take the first shift of sleep so that way Takaru can sleep."

"I get to sleep too, right?" Rinki asked.

"No," Kenko explained further. "I need you to watch the zombie."

"His name is Hans," Rinki explained.

"Hans the zombie?" Takaru asked. "That's almost as weird as Neal for a ninja."

"Whatever," Kenko continued. "While Takaru sleeps, I'll be watching for pirates and the newcomer. You watch the zombie. Then it will be Takaru's shift to watch for pirates while I sleep. All the while, you watch the zombie."

"Wait… it seems like you two get to sleep… while I don't… why's that?" Rinki asked.

"Well," Kenko paused. "You're special. The zombie wants brains but for some unknown reason, you are unaffected by his incredible appetite for them. So as long as you watch him, the team is safe. Understand?"

"I don't… but okay!" Rinki agreed to the deal and ran off to play with Hans.

"You think he'll be alright?" Takaru asked.

"It's Rinki," Kenko pointed out. "That's why I put him in charge of the zombie."

"Good call!" Takaru chuckled. "So you really want me to go to bed?"

"Yeah," Kenko insisted. "We'll need our rest when the help arrives."

"Got it," Takaru nodded. "See ya later."


Keeler was not willing to accept Captain's argument for the cards not being cursed. He decided there was only one option to fix this mess. He had to return to the ninja encampment with the cards to rid him of them. Keeler searched frantically for the cards and had most of them. The only one missing was the Skull Scepter card. "Where is that at?" Keeler asked himself. After doing some serious thinking, he remembered the captain placed it on his mantel as a tribute to their "glorious victory". That in mind, Keeler jumped onto the ship and started sneaking over to the captain's quarters. He was stopped by Headrick.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" he asked.

"What does it look like?" Keeler replied. "I'm going to go into the captain's quarters and take back the card he kept for himself."

"Why-"

"Because I still feel like they're cursed and I don't want that hanging over my head," Keeler explained. "If you're going to stop me then prepare to die."

"No," Headrick shook his head. "I was trying to say, why didn't you just ask me. I have a spare set of keys to his room."

"You… You aren't going to stop me?" Keeler asked.

"Fuck no," Headrick sighed with relief. "I don't want to be cursed either. I'll go with you to return it too."