Guest: Thanks so much! ^.^ I'm really glad you think I'm writing Red(Fell!Sans) pretty good XD he's a bit of a tough character for me to write XD
RandomHuman447: OMG YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH YOU SAVED ME, THOSE ARE BRILLIANT RIDDLES! You have no idea how grateful I am to you for sending those in I'm definitely using those! I can pun like there's no tomorrow, but I can't riddle to save my life XD
.girl.33: Thanks so much, I'm glad you like it ^.^
Pulling into the parking lot at your work (hey, being head of the PR and having a reserved parking spot had its perks!), you noticed a large crowd of people swarming at the steps that lead up to the glass doors of the office building.
You saw a few large posters as well as a few people throwing something, which, based on your past experience, could be anything from a goopy veggie to a rubber chicken to a rock. Sighing, you rubbed your face "This is gonna be one of those days, isn't it?" You asked yourself.
Steeling yourself for the day ahead, you dialed a number on your phone and waited for the person to pick up. "Hello, resident world domination planning convention headquarters, this is Elisa speaking, how may I help you?" A female voice said, her voice nasally, most likely from Elisa holding her nose.
Giggling, you plugged your own nose and responded "Hi, I'd like to pick up one order of Death Star with a side of Remaking the World in My Image ray." On the other side of the line you heard a muffled "Is it (Y/n)?" Followed by a less muffled, no longer nasally "Don't be ridiculous, Logan, it's obviously Batman." You snorted and released your nose.
"Tell Logan I say hi!" You requested, despite the fact you'd literally see him in less than 5 minutes. "Batman says 'hi' though." Elisa relayed. You didn't hear Logan's response, but you heard Elisa snickering before returning her attention back to you. "So, what can I do ya for, boss lady?" She asked, her voice normal.
"Just heard you got back today from your-"
"Call it a Honeymoon, and I will egg your comic collection."
"…So how are you settling in? You get all your stuff organized just the way you like it?" You snorted playfully and sighed. "Oooh, that bad, huh?" You grunted an affirmative and she made a sympathetic "aww".
"Well, break for me is soon, I can talk about it if you want?" She offered, you felt your heart melt a little, the girl was always offering an ear to listen to people's problems. "Actually, yeah, if you don't mind, but uh, could you maybe open the back door? The front one is currently swarmed by the mob from Beauty and the Beast."
Elisa laughed aloud and you had to move the phone a bit away from your ear so you could keep your hearing safe from her obnoxious but infecting laughter. "Alright, I'll be at the back entrance near the dumpsters." Not waiting for a response, she hung up, leaving you to gather your stuff (which, given your hasty retreat from the house was just your travel backpack) and head to the appropriate door.
Once there, you simply waited until you saw the door swing open, revealing a smiling Filipino woman holding a pizza slice in one hand and had the other extending towards you in a silent command for a hug.
"Hey, Elisa!" You greeted, giving into the hug request, "Hiya!" She lifted up the pizza slice and held it out to you "Pizza?" She asked, gratefully, you accepted it and began chowing down as you stepped inside the office building. As you took a bite, you heard Elisa snickering.
"What?" You asked, vaguely getting the feeling you were missing something important. "Oh, nothing at all, Master Tano." She giggled, pointing to your head. You reached a free hand up and felt the Ahsoka Tano headdress on your head. Which, in all honesty surprised you due to the speed running you did from the closet to the car.
Sighing, you simply adjusted the prop so it fit more snugly on your head, not really wanting to lose it. "Okay, okay, so tell me everything!" She squealed, looping her arm in your free one and taking your bag for you so you could eat easily. You rolled your eyes and huffed "Didn't you see the news?" You teased.
Elisa playfully swatted your arm and led you to the elevator which would escort you two to your office level with the larger breakroom with a stove and oven. Why the 2nd level breakroom had a stove and oven along with the normal appliances of microwave and fridge, you had no idea.
But, consequentially, the oven and stove made the breakroom more aesthetically pleasing than your 3rd level breakroom so you, Elisa, Logan and whoever happened to be breaking with you at the same time often convened there.
"Uh, ladies?" Said a voice behind you. Turning, you and Elisa saw a young man in a blue dress shirt, pointing to your slice of greasy, cheese bread. "No food in the work spaces." Elisa barely held a snort and you flushed with guilt. "Oh gosh!" You wiped your mouth with your sleeve and swallowed whatever food was in your mouth.
"I'm so sorry!" You apologized, "She hasn't eaten since breakfast," Elisa explained with a dazzling grin as she pushed you towards the elevator. "Anyways, we were just heading to our breakroom, thanks for the reminder though!"
And, as fate would have it, the elevator doors opened conveniently right as you needed them, allowing Elisa to push you inside so you both could avoid further conversation.
"Not eaten since breakfast?" The young man repeated, looking at a clock mounted on the wall which read 12:57. Grimacing, he moved to return to his daily work routine, slightly more sympathetic to your cause of eating as you walked.
A hungry stomach was a hungry stomach after all.
Meanwhile, in the elevator shaft, Elisa was busting a fit. "Oh my gosh!" She howled "That was priceless!" Your face was red with embarrassment, but you found yourself laughing as well. "I get the feeling he didn't expect Head of PR to be cosplaying as Ahsoka today."
You laughed and nodded, "To be quite honest, neither did I." You admitted, taking another bite from the pizza, "Oh?" Elisa asked, raising an eyebrow "Do tell." You shook your head and smiled, the elevator stopped and you two began finishing your journey to the glorious breakroom.
"I'll tell you in a sec, I'm sure Logan will want an explanation too." You said, thinking of the third member of your work trio. Elisa laughed "No kidding! Dude's been prodding me for details about you and your new hubby!"
At the mention of said hubby, you felt your eyes roll as if it were a natural reaction as sneezing. Elisa laughed "Girl, it's not even been 2 months yet!" She teased. You two walked in silence for a literal 3 steps before the breakroom door came into view and was swung open to reveal none other than Logan.
"(Y/n)!" He greeted, a smile jumping onto his dark face, "Hey, Logan!" You greeted with a wave, Logan waved back then noticed the headdress and his smile morphed into one of mischief. "Oh, Master Tano!" He bowed with flourish "So nice of you to join us here in our humble kingdom of Makiisa!"
You rolled your eyes but smiled. "Nice to see you too, dork." You replied, "Hey! That was cold!" He protested, still smiling. Elisa snickered and sat you down at the plastic fold-up table in the middle of the room. "So, details, details!" Logan prodded, scooching his own chair to sit in front of you.
"I've been dying to know what it's like living with an actual skeleton!" He said excitedly, "Yeah, but important stuff first," Elisa interjected, pointing at your 1-prop cosplay. Sighing, you delved into your experience as a married woman for the past 1 and a half months and what exactly that entailed.
Meanwhile, back at the house, Sans and Papyrus had unsummoned the bone spider sculpture, and had been attempting to put the door back the way it was before. "THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT, SANS!" Papyrus declared resolutely. Sans sighed "and how exactly is this my fault, boss?"
"I DON'T KNOW BUT IT IS!" Papyrus reasoned, the smaller brother rolled his eyes but made no retort, helping Papyrus balance the door so it sat upright in the doorframe. The two of them summoned a bone attack vaguely resembling a nail and glanced at each other. "READY?" Papyrus asked, positioning his attack at the upper hinge while Sans did the same on the lower one.
"yep." Said skellie responded, "ON THREE THEN! ONE, TWO, THREE!" On three, the bone attacks were thrown at the intended target, piercing metal and drywall, more or less effectively nailing the door back in place.
The door creaked and teetered a bit, resulting in the skeleton brothers taking a few steps back (NOT OUT OF FEAR, MIND YOU) and waited for the door to stop moving. Once it did, the two waited for any sudden failure in their handiwork, after about a minute or two of staring, they declared the door fit for work.
"think anyone'll notice?" Sans asked, eyeing the 2-inch thick bones impaling the hinges to the wall. "EHHHH" Papyrus said, shrugging "WHO CARES? AS LONG AS THE QUEEN DOESN'T FIND OUT!" Sans nodded and shrugged "yeah, that's fair." At that exact moment, Sans' phone let out a shrill ring, alerting him to an incoming call.
Unfortunately, as neither skeleton was expecting this call, both screamed rather undignifiedly which resulted in Sans digging through his jacket pocket and chucking his phone down the hallway into the library.
Sans and Papyrus, upon realizing it was just the phone, exchanged a look and breathed a sigh of relief. Realizing he should probably answer the phone, Sans bolted over to the phone before it could stop ringing and answered.
"yo." Sans said casually, glancing around the room of books. At least a room that was supposed to hold books. "Sans." Came a crisp and familiar voice. "er, your majesty!" Sans squeaked "what a surprise!" Sans heard Toriel sigh "Yes, well, believe me, this isn't a courtesy call."
Sans snorted "ya don't say?" He snapped. "Don't get snappy with me, skeleton." Toriel growled, Sans merely scoffed "oh sor-ry, majesty! didn't realize your time hanging with the human royalty made you unable to take a little sarcasm!"
Papyrus made a gesture to signal Sans to stop talking, to which Sans grumpily, but reluctantly obeyed. "whaddya want anyway?" He growled, "…I want you to go to Frisk's school today." Toriel responded softly.
"the kiddo?" Sans asked, now confused more than anything "y'mean they're at school right now and not in some stuffy government building?" Toriel sighed "Yes, and unfortunately there's a mandatory meeting today which convenes as Asgore and I are in Parliament."
"whoa, whoa, whoa. hold up. you're askin' me to go to a cheesy school meeting?" Sans stated, slightly peeved. "Yes. As well as essentially act as her legal guardian when I am otherwise unable." Sans scoffed, "and why exactly d'you think i'd be doing this for you?"
Sans wasn't above hanging around Frisk, heck, the kid knew how to take a joke (a rare feature in many of the adults in the species), and they had freed monster kind, so there was that. The thing Sans was finding most annoying about this sudden request was that 1: it was a sudden request and 2: agreeing to this meant having to walk into a room full of judgmental humans rant on about their shallow problems and he wouldn't be allowed to hit them.
"…" Toriel said nothing, and yet Sans was still able to catch her meaning. "you're not serious!?" Sans shouted into the phone "i made that promise to you when we were underground, and it was to make sure that whatever kiddo walked through snowdin wasn't impaled on sight!"
Papyrus raised a bone ridge at his brother but said nothing. "Yes, and guess what? Frisk is still alive, so unless I'm mistaken, abiding by human rules about mandatory meetings is way to protect them. So get. Going. Now." Sans pulled the phone away from his ear hole, stuck his tongue out at it then placed it back.
"a''ight, fine." Sans relented, "i'll go to the stupid meeting." Sans couldn't see Toriel, but he knew the frustrating goat woman was smirking. "Thank you." She said smugly, acting as if Sans had offered to do her request without her having to mention it.
Sans grit his teeth and rolled his eyes "whatever." He mumbled, "Oh, and Sans?" Toriel said, her voice taking on a tone of mischief. "Knock knock." Sans pulled the phone away from his skull and looked at it as if it had just sprouted arms. "er…who's there?" He asked, suddenly terrified for his life.
"Karma." Toriel said with a slight chuckle before ending the call. "what the- THAT WASN'T EVEN A KNOCK KNOCK JOKE YOU STUPID OLD GOAT!" Sans growled at the phone, fully offended. Papyrus let out a loud howl of laughter. "what?" Sans huffed, shoving the phone in his pocket.
"YOU'RE JACKET DID THE FLOOF THING AGAIN!" Papyrus cackled, pointing at the faux fur lining Sans' hood. "i-it did not!" Sans denied, turning a slight red. The fur, in fact, did floof up according to Sans' current emotion that could only be described as offended rage.
Papyrus continued to laugh as Sans pushed past him. "whatever, boss." He growled, "the queen put me on babysitting duty. know where the kiddo's school is?" Papyrus scoffed and flicked his scarf "PFFT, DO I KNOW WHERE THE HUMAN'S SCHOOL IS? DON'T BE RIDICULOUS, SANS! OF COURSE I KNOW!"
And with that, he led Sans to the garage and with dramatic flourish, yanked a car-protector cover off one of the cars to reveal a blood red convertible. Sans whistled and patted the passenger doorway. "sweet ride, boss." He complimented, Papyrus puffed his rib cage out like a parrot.
"I KNOW!" He said as he picked a set of car keys from the billboard near the door. Papyrus leapt into the front seat and ignited the car. "er, boss?" Sans slowly got into the passenger seat, a bad feeling suddenly sinking into his bones. "YES, SANS?" Papyrus responded, completely oblivious to his brother's growing nerves.
"do you even know how to drive this?" He asked, strapping the seat belt on like he'd seen in human movies and comics that have fallen into the Underground. "PSSH, WHAT KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT?" Papyrus casually answered, putting the car into reverse and backing out of the garage.
(not before opening the garage door, mind you). Unfortunately for Sans, Papyrus' start speed was a bit…sudden. Sans lurched forward in his seat when the car backed up, and he found himself clinging to the seatbelt for his life when Papyrus went into drive and began driving down the public streets.
If Sans were to be completely honest in this moment, he'd say Papyrus' driving was absolutely insane! He practically drove like he was in some kind of perpetual Hollywood high-speed car chase scene! Drifting around corners, zooming past the speed limits, screeching to a halt at stop signs and red lights.
Sans was absolutely terrified. He knew cars weren't supposed to go this fast! And yet, here was his baby bro, driving like he was in some new remake of Fast&Furious!
To say Sans was absolutely grateful and relieved when Papyrus arrived at the school would be the understatement of the year. Sans couldn't get out of the car fast enough, and he was sure he'd have thrown up his lunch if he had any organs to store his lunch in.
"NYEHEHEHEHEH! I SEE MY SUPERIOR DRIVING SKILLS HAVE LEFT YOU SPEECHLESS, SANS!" Papyrus gloated, "WELL, IT'S ONLY NATURAL I SUPPOSE!" Sans only moaned. Maybe he did have a stomach after all. "yeah, sure, boss." He huffed, taking in a steady breath.
"i'll text ya when i'm done, okay?" He said dusting off his jacket and pants. Papyrus nodded "I'LL BE AT UNDYNE'S SHE SAID SHE AND ALPHYS WERE TESTING OUT THIS NEW FIREWORK RECIPE! NYEHEH!" With that said, he zoomed off as fast as he came.
Sans scratched his skull and shook his head. Man, his bro sure was something else, wasn't he? "Sans! Sans!" A small voice suddenly pulled the short skeleton out of his brief reverie and he turned to see a familiar human waving to him behind what looked to him like barbed wire.
"'sup, frisk?" Sans said, a genuine smile gracing his features. Frisk bounced on their feet and gripped the wire fence separating them from Sans. "What'cha doing around these parts?" Frisk asked, a large smile on their face.
Sans shrugged and knelt down to their height "eh, i'd say i'm here to bust ya out, but i'm pretty sure your ma would have my skull if i did." Frisk giggled "Well then what are you here for, comedian?" A snarly voice suddenly asked.
Sans glanced down in the dirt beside Frisk to see the one, the only: Flowey the Flower. "'sup, sunflower." Sans greeted, an evil grin replacing his genuine one. Flowey sent him a glare and Sans simply grinned "tori gave me orders to attend this mandatory meeting of some kind."
Frisk nodded "It's supposed to be a parent-teacher meeting of some kind." They said with a shrug, "oh yeah?" Sans said, raising a bone ridge. "what do they normally talk about." Frisk shrugged "Grades I guess." Flowey scoffed "And who's kid is better than who's and who lost the most weight thanks to a diet, and pretty much anything you can think of that isn't school related."
Sans felt his eye sockets grow dark. "oh fun." He said dryly. Frisk giggled and squeezed a few fingers through the gate to tug on Sans' jacket. "Come on, come on! Check in so I can hug you!" They demanded.
"check in?" Sans asked, tilting his head to the side, "y'mean i can't just shortcut in?" Flowey shook his head, "You could, but then campus security would be on your case, and I highly doubt the queen would want that." Sans scoffed "yeesh, kid! thought you said you were here to learn! this place sounds like a prison!"
Frisk let out a loud laugh "…..That's actually not too far from the truth….." Flowey deadpanned. "Frisk! Friiisk!" A female voice called to Frisk from the other side of the courtyard, said human sighed. "That's Mrs. Mellie, she watches us while we're on lunch break." Frisk explained, "I should probably go…" They added sadly.
Sans sighed "yeah, I'd hate to get'cha into trouble, kiddo." Sans smiled, reaching through the wire to ruffle Frisk's hair affectionately. The human child rewarded Sans with a grin that made the edgy monster's SOUL warm up. "You should probably take Flowey with you," Frisk said before running off "That way you'll have a guide when I'm not around!"
"ey! what, you think me, a full grown skeleton can't navigate a school, while you a human child can navigate the entire underground?" Sans sassed, Frisk giggled and ran off to their teacher and waved goodbye to Flowey and Sans.
Flowey popped up on the other side of the fence and extended a root as if asking for assistance to stand up. "Well, better get going, comedian." He said curtly. Sans rolled his eyes and allowed Flowey to wrap around his arm like a bracelet and pull himself out of the ground.
Flowey wound himself around Sans' arm and gestured to the entrance. "Front desk check-ins pretty simple. I'm sure even a numbskull like yourself can do it without help."
"numbskull, ey?"
Oh no. Flowey thought.
"guess that makes you a real—"
What have I unleashed?
"dis-aster."
Flowey groaned, experiencing physical agony.
So who else is excited over the appearance of Fell!PTA!Sans? *raises hand*
