Title: Glass Hearts
Rating: PG-13
Summary (of chapter): Jewel gives Sirius some bad news, and he starts to rethink his choice in girls.
"Time to start a fire," Sirius said, rubbing his hands together.
Remus nodded. He wore a heavy jumper. Their heating charms were falling short in the snowy weather. They could hardly see outside past the white blur of snowflakes. Peter was bundled up in his blanket on the couch.
Sirius bent down in front of the fireplace and waved his wand. A fire started up, small at first, then gaining size. "All right," he clapped his hands.
There was a knock on the door. "Who's that?" Peter asked.
Sirius opened the door. It was Jewel, bundled up in a brown coat and Ravenclaw scarf. "Hey," he said. "Come on in!"
Jewel smiled at him. "Thanks."
"What are you doing out in the cold?" Sirius asked.
"Visiting you," Jewel said. She smiled at Remus and Peter, then looked back at Sirius. "Can we talk?"
"Sure," Sirius said. He led her towards his bedroom. It was a bit messy, but there was nothing incriminating out. "What's up?"
Jewel paused. "I'm moving to America tomorrow."
"Tomorrow?" Sirius repeated.
"Yeah," Jewel said. "Juniper and I just decided today. We're taking Elizabeth Jones, the girl at the orphanage. The war is just getting too big, and. . ."
Sirius paused, gazing at her. She had bits of snow in her hair, and her eyes were sad. "Tomorrow?" he said again.
"Yeah, tomorrow," Jewel said. "I just wanted to tell you. I know we haven't seen each other too much since we left Hogwarts, but I thought. . .you know. . ."
Sirius wasn't sure how to respond. She was moving? Because of the war? He was more shocked than he should be, really. He thought of the Halloween party, when she and Juniper Disapparated. He thought of how he had once thought of her joining the Order, and then knowing she wouldn't go for it.
"Because of the war?" he said. "Are you — I mean, why don't you guys stay and fight with us?"
Jewel looked at the ground. "Sirius, I'm not a fighter like you." She paused, meeting his eyes. "But I'm not a coward, either."
Sirius shrugged, slightly disagreeing. Jewel looked annoyed. "Look, I'm completely hopeless at Defense, I would last about —" she cut off, rolling her eyes. "This is stupid, I don't know why I'm defending myself."
"Because you don't want to be called a coward, it's understandable."
"Look, I came here in the snow —"
"To tell me you were running away," Sirius finished for her. He was getting more annoyed by the second. He felt stupid for thinking differently. He had gone out with her for a year or so; he should have known.
"Nothing is ever good enough for you, is it?" Jewel snapped. "You don't want someone committed to you —"
Sirius scoffed. "Oh, like you ever tried."
"Because I knew you would dump me after a month," Jewel said. "If you heard about me flirting with Kingsley, you would freak out, but if I talked to you more than three times a week, you'd avoid me."
"That is a load of —"
"You know what, forget it." Her cheeks were flushed with anger.
"No," Sirius said, "really, I want to hear this. Have you been keeping this all on your chest since we broke up?"
"No, but talking to you again has reminded me of how utterly annoying you are."
"Please, continue," Sirius said. "It's entertaining."
Jewel suddenly slapped him. Sirius touched his cheek in shock, then stared at her. He had never seen her so angry. "I don't understand what you want from me," Jewel yelled.
"I don't want anything!" Sirius exclaimed. "What have I ever asked from you?"
Jewel paused, staring at him. "Nothing. Absolutely nothing."
Sirius didn't understand how that could be such a horrible thing, but Jewel just shook her head. "I'm leaving," she said.
She started to walk towards his bedroom door. "Going off to tell Shacklebolt now?" Sirius asked.
"It was his idea," Jewel said, walking out.
Sirius stood there for a moment, then followed her. "His idea?" he repeated.
Jewel turned around. "Yes! What does it matter to you?"
"Why does he want you to go?"
"Because he cares about me, not about making me into someone I'm not," Jewel snapped. She stormed out, leaving Sirius there, staring at the door in dazed shock.
Finally, Sirius spun around and walked to the refrigerator. Peter and Remus were playing cards at the kitchen table, pretending that they hadn't heard anything. Sirius looked at their bare fridge, his mind not on food but females. Why couldn't they all be like Lily or Dorcas or Marlene?
Sirius turned around and leaned on the kitchen table. "Has Marlene written you lately?" he asked.
"No, I just sent her a letter yesterday," Remus said, his eyes on his cards. He hesitated. "Why?"
"Just wondering," Sirius said with a shrug. He grabbed a bag of potato chips from the counter and sat down.
"Your cheek is pink," Peter observed.
"It's not that crazy," James said with the shake of his head. "I'd be ecstatic if Lily moved to America."
Sirius rolled his eyes. "You're completely missing the point."
Lily also rolled her eyes. The guys were over for dinner, and Sirius was complaining about his encounter with Jewel the previous night. Lily scooped out some butter and plopped it in the mashed potatoes.
"What's the point?" James asked.
"She's actually going!" Sirius exclaimed.
"Well, Jewel isn't like that," Lily said over her shoulder. "It's not like she's a bad person for leaving, Sirius. A lot of people are leaving right now."
"Well, why?" Sirius asked. "Why can't they stay and fight?"
Lily let out a sigh. She heard James reply, "I don't know."
"That's right," Sirius said. "No one knows why. I mean, we all have a hunch, but no one wants to say the C-word."
"Except for you, right, Sirius?" Lily said sharply. She put the potatoes on the table, shooting Sirius a glare. Sometimes he was so arrogant, she wanted to hit him. Sometimes she did, but usually, she restrained herself. Tonight, she was considering throwing her roast in his face.
"I didn't say it," Sirius said.
"Oh, come on," Lily said. "Sirius, you don't fool anyone."
"Okay, fine, why shouldn't I called her a coward?" Sirius asked. "She's running away from the war — she's deciding not to fight!"
"People are entitled to make that choice," Lily snapped. "Just because she won't throw herself up against a Death Eater doesn't make her a coward. She's taking that girl in —"
"Who cares about that girl?" Sirius scoffed.
"Her parents probably did!" Lily exclaimed. Peter and Remus were now watching them argue as they sat on the couch in the living room. She ignored them, her face flushing. "How can you be so arrogant?"
Sirius put his hands up in defense, a smirk on his face. "Oh, I was wondering when you would use that word."
"If you had a girl that age, would you want her living in some orphanage?" Lily asked.
"I'd rather have someone prevent another girl get her parents killed —"
"Right, well some people would just be killing themselves," Lily said harshly. "Would you really want someone to die just so you could sleep with her without guilt?"
Sirius stared at her, looking disgusted. "You think that's what this is all about?" he demanded.
She rolled her eyes. "Please, tell me, Sirius, what it's really all about."
"The fact that Jewel and Juniper are just running out on us!" Sirius exclaimed. "They couldn't try to learn more spells or get better at defense? No, just because they didn't get top marks on a NEWT, they have to —"
"Lily, I think —"
"James, don't," Lily said.
"No, the vegetables are boiling over," James said, pointing to the stove.
Lily turned around and saw the water boiling over, hissing as it touched the burner. She lifted up the pot and turned down the heat. She took a moment to take in a deep breath. "If she had stayed, Sirius, how long would it have been before you had her again?" she asked, staring down into the pot.
"That's what you think of me, then?" Sirius asked. She could hear the smirk in his voice. "Yes, I'll just screw anyone who'll fight on our side."
Lily shook her head. Until he convinced her otherwise, yes, that was exactly what she thought.
"I haven't gotten any action since September," Sirius said, acting as though she had hurt his feelings.
Lily turned around and put the vegetables on the table. She took out the roast. "Let's eat before I throw something at him."
The dinner was tense, and Sirius went on acting like nothing had happened. Lily couldn't understand how one person could be so infuriating, especially when he was such a good friend of hers. When she sat in the study of that manor, wondering if she would die, she thought of the last things she would have said to James, Marlene, her parents, Sirius, Remus. And right now, she wanted to hex him to the stars.
Afterwards, Lily went to her room while they stayed in the living room. It took about half an hour for James to come check on her. "Come in," she said.
It wasn't James, but Sirius. Lily sighed. "What?"
Sirius crossed his arms, leaning against the doorframe. "She was going out with Kingsley."
"Would that have stopped you?" Lily asked.
Sirius paused. "Well, it didn't stop him," he said with a shrug.
Lily shook her head. "Do you know what the word womanizer means?"
"I'm not that bad!" Sirius said defensively.
"Jewel, Candace, Katie, that girl you met at that club in September —"
"I'm nineteen, what do you expect?" Sirius asked.
"James is nineteen," Lily said matter-of-factly.
"James is like twenty-four mentally," Sirius said with a roll of his eyes.
Lily just shook her head in response.
"Okay, fine, he's not," Sirius said. "But —"
Lily braced herself, and just said what had been on her chest all night. "Just stay away from Marlene."
Sirius looked completely taken aback, and this happened very rarely. Lily wanted to take a picture to remember the first time she had seen Sirius speechless in months. "What?" he finally said.
Lily looked away from him. "Sirius, you're a good guy, but. . .don't — please, not Marlene, okay?"
Sirius shook his head. "I don't what you're smoking, Lily, but Marlene is not even. . ." he trailed off. "Not even on the map — not even — no, never."
Lily pursed her lips. She didn't believe him, but she had a hard time believing a lot of what Sirius said. "Good." She got up from her bed. "What are you guys doing out there?"
"Exploding Gobstones," Sirius said. "We've mixed Exploding Snap and Gobstones into one game. It's awesome, Remus is covered in gunk already."
Marlene could hardly wait to get to James and Lily's. Since they lived in a Muggle neighborhood and had anti-Disapparition Charms on their place, she had to Floo to a candy shop down the street. She walked through the Muggle streets, wrapped up in her coat and scarf.
She finally got to flat number 315 and knocked frantically on the door. "Coming!" she heard a voice on the other side.
The door swung open. "Lily!" Marlene exclaimed. She threw her arms around her friend. "Oh, it is sooooo good to see you!"
"Come in!" Lily said.
"Oh, my gosh, it's so cute in here!" Marlene said. Lily's flat was adorable. Everything matched, from the rug to the candles. Warm, earthy colors. Lily's Muggle things with James's Quidditch obsession. It all looked so cozy.
Marlene hung up her coat. "Okay, I'm dropping out of Hogwarts and moving in with you guys."
"Hey, Marlene!" James said, coming out of the bedroom.
"James!" Marlene gave him a hug. "This place is great!"
"Thanks," Lily said. She was glowing. God, Marlene missed her. "You want some tea?"
They sat around the living room, drinking tea and eating biscuits. They talked about Marlene's seventh year, and Lily and James' jobs. Marlene felt like she had been gone for a year. "I'm so jealous," she said. "I wish I was done with school already!"
"Me, too," Lily said. "It can get boring without you."
"Do you hang out with Mary a lot?" Marlene asked.
Lily shrugged. "Not really. I mean, I've seen her a few times. It's mostly just work and the. . ." she trailed off and bit her lip. "Yeah, it's just busy."
"Yeah," Marlene said. "Last night was Slughorn's Christmas Party, and it sucked without you guys there."
"Who did you go with?" Lily asked as James laughed.
"Greg Britt," Marlene said. He had gotten her a flower, and they had spent the night talking about Quidditch and Charms. "He's a Ravenclaw in my year. He's nice, but I don't know. I think he kind of wants to go out. I don't know how to turn him down."
"What's wrong with him?" Lily asked.
"I don't know, he's kind of boring," Marlene said.
"You should go out with him."
Marlene laughed. Lily sipped her tea, a serious look on her face. "What?" she said when she noticed Marlene's look.
"She doesn't like him," James said.
Lily sent James a glare. "What's the harm in trying it out?" she asked. She looked at Marlene with a shrug. "You never know until you try."
Marlene exchanged glances with James, smirking. She didn't know what Lily was on about, but she decided to change the subject. "Hey, I heard Jewel and Juniper moved to America," she said.
Lily slammed her teacup down. "I'm going to get more biscuits."
"Who'd you hear that from?" James asked as Lily walked into the kitchen.
"Remus," Marlene said. "Hey, we should all go do something. Maybe we can go to Club Charmed! You guys missed it last time. It was really fun!"
"Going to get drunk and snog Soviet guys again?" James asked with a grin.
"Maybe I will," Marlene said, tilting her head.
Lily came back with more biscuits, even though they had plenty. Marlene exchanged glances with James again. James just shrugged, even though Marlene knew he must know what was bothering Lily.
"Here we go," Lily said. "How's your family, Marlene?"
After they had a light lunch, Lily and Marlene decided to go Christmas shopping. Once they were through The Leaky Cauldron, Marlene carefully planned her words. "So, are you all right?"
"What?" Lily said. "Yeah, I'm fine."
"You seemed a little odd when we were talking about Greg," Marlene said. "And the Mufflet girls."
"Oh, I just. . ." Lily trailed off. "Sirius was just complaining about Jewel leaving, and I just didn't — you know — I'm just tired of hearing about it."
"Oh," Marlene said. She chewed on her bottom lip. "Does he still like her?"
"I don't know," Lily said, sounding annoyed. "Sirius likes everyone."
Marlene chuckled. "We should really go to Club Charmed tonight. You can get your groove on with James."
"My groove?" Lily repeated with a laugh. "They don't play disco music, do they?"
"What's disco?"
That night, Sirius and Marlene had somehow persuaded everyone to go to Club Charmed. Remus was fairly sure his least favorite part of said persuasion was when Peter said, "Why don't you two go by yourself if you want to go so bad?" and Sirius and Marlene had looked at each other, speechless, and Lily said, "No! We'll go with you guys!"
They were now waiting in a long line to get inside. Marlene stood by Remus, wearing a black mini skirt with black tights on. Her legs looked extremely long and slim. He wasn't sure if he wanted to look at them or her glittery eyes or the floor. He instead fixed his eyes on the back of James's head.
Every time she moved, he caught a whiff of her perfume. It had been almost a year, but he remembered taking her to the Room of Requirement. He remembered that scent hitting his nostrils as he kissed her neck.
He cleared his throat, his face flushing. "You had to wear that perfume?" he muttered to her.
Marlene looked at him with wide eyes. Before she could respond, it was their turn to enter.
Inside, Club Charmed was just as loud as Remus remembered. Sirius and James led them straight to the bar. Predictably, the two of them got firewhiskeys. Marlene leaned on the bar, smiling at the bartender. "What do you recommend?"
The bartender, his hair charmed blue, smiled back at her and said, "Perhaps a Fire of Veela?"
"All right!" Marlene exclaimed. She pointed to Lily. "Give us two."
Lily looked like she may object, but then grinned and rolled her eyes. After Peter and Remus got drinks, they searched the crowded club for a table. They finally found one hidden in the corner.
"You try it first," Lily told Marlene.
Marlene tentatively took a sip. "It's good. A little sour."
"Watch out for thick, burly Soviets," Sirius said.
"And French girls," Marlene said, smirking.
Soon, the girls were dancing. James watched them warily. "I swear, if any guy hits on her. . ." James trailed off.
"We got your back," Sirius said. He paused, glancing at Remus. "Why'd you and Marlene break up?"
Remus stared at him, blinking in shock. "What?"
"You and Marlene, what happened?" Sirius asked.
Remus shook his head and shrugged. "What — why do you care all of a sudden? It was like a year ago. She just — we just didn't — there was too much stuff, I guess."
Sirius took a drink of his firewhiskey. "Yeah," he said, nodding as though he understood.
"I'm going to go dance," James said. "That blond guy is creeping me out."
"Me, too," Sirius added. "I'm going to go find me a cute French girl."
Remus was relieved when they both left. He and Peter were left to drink and talk. They started to talk about the Order, and then why Gideon and Dorcas didn't get along. The gossip didn't hold them for very long, though. They played a drinking game, then Peter Conjured up a deck of cards. They ignored the strange looks and played some of the games Lily had taught them.
Remus left to get them new drinks about an hour after they had arrived. On the way back from the bar, he saw Marlene and Sirius dancing. He decided to ignore this and returned to Peter.
They were playing another game, but Remus couldn't concentrate. Peter started to look annoyed. "Come on, you're not even trying," Peter said.
"Yes, I am," Remus replied.
"You haven't liked her for months!" Peter exclaimed.
"Who?" Remus asked indignantly.
Peter rolled his eyes. "What does it matter? It's just Sirius, he's not going to go after her." He paused. "And if he does, it'll last a month."
Remus stared at the cards in front of them. It may have been the wisest piece of advice Peter had ever given him.
A/N: Thank you for the reviews and follows! If you like, please review :)
Next up: Christmas with the Longbottoms is ruined by those pesky Death Eaters.
