Disclaimer: don't own it! Wish I did but don't.

GRIEF

Ardiath sat for so long just watch Joachim lie there. If she didn't think about it she could imagine he was just asleep. Waiting to wake up. It was the silent presence to her side, which reminded her what had happened.

She was subconsciously her finger along the scarred skin of her forearm. She could feel the tears drying in her eyes and her breathing slow. Just sitting here was unbearable but she wouldn't leave him here.

Tristan was lost in his own thoughts. His baby brother. He had sworn to his father to protect him when they had left to serve Rome. But he had left and deserted. Tristan had feared him dead but deep down he thought he would know if his brother was deed. He would feel it somehow. And he did. At this very moment, kneeling in the mud and blood he felt the gaping emptiness and hurt rage in hist heart and stomach.

"Tristan, where are you?" A booming voice was crying.

Ardiath's head jerked up, panic clear on her face. They would come and take his body. Treat Joachim like a traitor. Her frantic eyes sought Tristan's.

"Do not," She rasped. Her voice was hoarse and she could not mutter more of a plea.

"It will be fine," Tristan assured her, his voice only slightly steadier.

"Tristan?" The loud voice came again. Ardiath felt hot tears burn in her eyes again and angrily lowered her eyes. She had survived, cold, with the Saxons all this time. She would not break in front of these Sarmatian knights.

"I am here Bors," Tristan called back, not standing up or leaving.

"Bloody hell, boy. You had us worried," The loud voice sounded relieved.

"What are you doing…" Bors voice dropped off when he saw the sight before him. The black haired girl sitting by a bloody body with Tristan slightly behind looking melancholic.

Bors slowly approached. He recognised the face. It was Joachim. The one who had deserted and had been leading them closer.

"Joachim," He breathed. Tristan nodded returning his eyes to his fallen brother. Ardiath remained silent. Neither seemed capable of moving.

"We should bring him inside the wall," Bors prodded. He knew Joachim had betrayed them but looking at their faces he couldn't bring himself to be harsh. Besides Tristan knew better than anyone what Joachim was.

Tristan nodded again and stood. Both men lifted Joachim and Ardiath cried out.

"It will be alright, lass," Bors assured her.

They walked toward the fort, struggling with the dead weight of the man.

"Who is she?" Bors murmured.

"His wife," Tristan responded. Bors looked up sharply but didn't say anything. Ardiath was trailing behind them, looking lost and aimless.

They moved through into the fort and Ardiath was brought to her knees by the sound of celebrating. It was so loud! How dare they be happy when her world was collapsing! Tristan saw the woman fall.

"Stop Bors," He commanded. The gently lowered the body. Bors went on to get Arthur.

"Are you well?" Tristan asked. Ardiath just looked past him.

To get her attention he grabbed her shoulders, "What is your name."

She looked at him and Tristan caught the full weight of her icy blue eyes. "Ardiath."

"Pardon?"

"Ardiath," She whispered loudly.

"Ardiath. I am so very sorry about Joachim. I am very sorry he died. He was my little brother and I should have protected him," Tristan professed earnestly. Ardiath nodded mutely, the noise still overwhelming.

"Ah you finally got the traitorous bastard," A voice yelled. Tristan winced as he heard Galahad.

Ardiaths eyes widened angrily.

"He coped it good," Gawain agreed. Ardiath bowed her head. Her fury was rising! Joachim had sacrificed his honour for her. For her to live. Ardiath pushed herself up. She glared at them. Even dirty and ragged she was a powerful presence; her dark hair framed her face and her blue eyes sparked.

"Who talks about my husband that way?" She demanded.

"Ardiath, do not do this!" Tristan asked quietly.

"I do," Galahad stepped forward defiantly. Ardiath slapped him hard across the face.

"Why you little whore," Galahad roared and rushed at her. Tristan leapt up to restrain the younger man.

"You swine!" Ardiath was cursing at him. "You ignorant bastard. Which one of you fired the arrow?"

Arthur arrived with Bors, "what is going on here?"

"This crazy woman attacked, Galahad," Gawain explained.

"Good lord, is that Joachim?" Arthur asked.

"Yes!" Ardiath snapped.

"Arthur, this is Joachim's wife," Tristan hurried to say before anyone else could speak.

"Was! I was his wife," Ardiath's lip trembled as she stared at Joachim's body.

"He betrayed us!" Arthur observed.

"To save me. To save me from the Saxons!" Ardiath cried.

"And betrayed his own brother," Gawain pointed at Tristan.

"I was raped. Every day I was raped by Cynric. He couldn't stop that from happening. He had to lie with me in his arms knowing that some man had touched my body!" Ardiath was hysterical now, "and all he could think of was his betrayal. He knew what he was doing but he wanted me alive."

There was silence and Ardiath didn't let it lie for much longer, "You have a nerve to talk of betraying when I can see in your eyes that you want to run. You wanted to run away as you resent Rome but you are too much of a coward." This was directed at Galahad.

"You have no idea," Arthur interrupted, "we could kill you for that."

"I have no need to fear for my life with you. You are Arthur defender of the innocent," Her tone was mocking, "But there is an entire other side to you! You are Arthur, slayer of women's husbands, Arthur Slayer of mother's sons. Arthur slayer of sister's brothers. Slayers of men's friends. Your famed kindness is an attempt at penance for your sins and even that is an illusion!"

Arthur reeled as if hit.

"Ardiath. You overstep your bounds," Tristan warned.

"Leave me with my husband," her spirit faltered, "Please let me mourn my husband without their judgement and hate. That is all I want."

"I can give you that even if I cannot be the saviour you needed," Tristan murmured. He turned and talked to Arthur. Arthur nodded slowly.

"We will grant whatever you ask of us if it is within out power. I am sorry for your lost," Arthur said genuinely. And he was. He remembered his fury at the woads for killing his mother.

Ardiath watched the knights retreating and collapsed by her husband. Her strength was fleeing.

"I am so sorry my darling. If I could put into words the many things I'm feeling I am not even certain I would feel better. But I make you a promise. I will avenge your death however I can. I will kill the man who did this to you."

AN: very short chapter I know but what can you do! Hope you like!

MD666