Ok, back with chapter 8. Listen I know I'm making a monster out of Catherine. Actually I think she might be that way for two more chapters then I promise I'll take pity on her ;). Thanks for the reviews you guys rock!

Enjoy,

So ;)


Chapter 8: Catherine

It's been a month since I found out about my sister and Sara. We've sorted things out like adults. Now, everything is fine…

That's a lie, of course. Nothing is fine. If anything, it's worse. I haven't spoken to my sister ever since and I only speak to Sara because we work together. Even on our worst days, Sara and I have always managed to communicate. Now, I can't really say that we communicate. Basically, I bark at her and she just grits her teeth and moves on.

I know I'm not treating her right, but I can't help myself. It's like all this anger I had inside won't stop growing. And Sara isn't helping the matter. I'm mean to her. I do realize that, but she's not responding to me. She's not fighting back. I want her to fight back, I want her to give me a good reason to be mad at her. I want her to give me a chance to let all of this anger pour out of me.

They say I'm a people person. I've got a good instinct and, as a general rule, I read people like opened book. I know what makes them tick; I know what make them squirm; I know what to do to keep the upper hand. So, I guess you could say I'm a people person. But when it comes to emotions, that's something else. I have a hard time analyzing things. I'm more of an 'act first then think' type of person. Right now, for instance, I don't know what I feel. I just know that it's powerful and that it's killing me.

I feel hurt deeply. I feel betrayed by my sister and by Sara. I don't know why it upsets me so much. I mean, after all, it's not like they were doing something wrong. It's like two opposite sides of my life have collided and created a big mess. I can't bring myself to be rational about it. I don't think there's anything rational about it!

I'm hurting, so I hurt Sara because I want her to know what I'm going through because of her. That's all I can do to feel better. I know it's totally childish, but I don't care. I feel like she stabbed me in the back. I just can't understand why she didn't tell me anything! We were becoming friends after having spent five years fighting and she couldn't find anything better to do than to fuck my sister!

How could she do something like that to me? That's the question I've been asking myself, and I haven't found a suitable answer yet.

And until I find an answer to that stupid question, I won't swallow this bloody pill, or cut Sara any slack. I have a reputation to sustain, after all. She always thought I was a bitch. Now, well, now she'll find out just how big of a bitch I can be.

xxxxx

"Greg I want you inside on the second floor. Warrick, I want you with me; we'll deal with the bodies. Sidle, perimeter." I instruct them.

I can tell Sara is pissed and inwardly I'm glad – sadistic of me I know. But just like every other time this month and a half, she doesn't say anything and just does what she's told.

I haven't called her by her first name in a whole month. I rarely address her with more than ten words and I don't bother being polite or civil when I do speak to her. She doesn't say anything or protest in any way, and that's pissing me off. I'm pushing her buttons because I want her to explode, but she isn't play my game and I hate that, so I push her again and again. I take every opportunity I get to push her buttons – to hurt her. I've almost made a habit of it. I'm not proud of myself, but on the other hand I can't help myself at the moment.

She tried to talk to me at the beginning, but she has stopped trying. I'd be lying if I said that I was trying to set things right. So, I'm mean to her everyday, and everyday when I go home, I'm disgusted with myself. So, everyday I tell myself that I will set things right, but every time I see Sara, that resolution flies out the window. So, I'm stuck in a catch 22 until the day she decides to answer me back.

When we have a case together I keep her in the doghouse. There's a car to dismantle? I send someone else to do it. There's a body to deal with? I assign her to the perimeter. There's an interview? I do it with someone else or alone. There's something hard, dirty or/and boring to do? I assign her to do it.

There is undeniable tension whenever we're in the same radius and when that happens no one gets in our way. The guys don't leave us alone in the same room, but they don't try to interfere either. Our team is unbalanced. Everyone knows it, but no one dares to say something about it. There are no more team get-togethers. When Sara is there I'm not and when I am, she isn't. Grissom tries not to put us on the same scene, but sometimes we have to work together. Needless to say, it's not working well.

xxxxx

We have a nasty scene tonight. A couple has been killed in their house during a robbery that turned bad. I've been working inside the house with Greg and Warrick for the last two hours and there's still a lot to do. Sara's working outside. I found out a while ago that the less I saw her the less angry I was. Sure, it's just temporary but at least for some hours I have a beak.

Days go by and things don't change between Sara and me. Basically, we ignore each other and don't communicate except if we absolutely have to.

My anger is still there, but I've tamed it, in some ways. The thing is that there are so many things swirling in my head that I don't know what to think. Sara hurt me deeply. And I'm not inclined to forgive her. I honestly don't think I ever will. Maybe you think I'm overreacting, that I'm unfair. Well, that's who I am, and I've never been good with second chances.

Tonight is a bad night. Warrick and Greg have just gone back to the lab, leaving me and Sara behind. So, we have to ride back – together. Half an hour alone in a confined space with enough tension to choke a thousand elephants …oh joy!

Sara is silent and doesn't show any signs of concern for the ride back. I have to breathe deeply several times before getting in the car. I don't know why, but being near her always makes me feel like a ticking bomb ready to explode. I start to drive and pray to anyone that might be listening to spare us from any fights.

I decide to put some music on so I can focus my mind on something else, but as soon as I turn the radio on, Sara turns it off. Once again I turn it on and two seconds later she turns it off again. We repeat the same game two more times.

"I have a headache. Do you mind?" Sara finally says.

"Yeah, well I missed the part where it says that it's my problem," I reply.

She chuckles bitterly, "Really mature."

I turn on the radio once more in response. She better not push me any further because I don't have it in me to control my temper. This time she hits on the radio to turn it off. "Damn it! I have a headache!"

"Well, if you're not happy, mother nature gave you two legs, so use them!" I spit back before turning the radio on again. This is ridiculous. This fight is ridiculous. I know it, but I can't help acting like a child. I should be an adult and consider the fact that she's not feeling well. Instead of that, I feel proud because I won. I get to put the radio on and she'll have to endure this because we are still far from the lab. It's stupid. I mean, we both know that the problem isn't the radio.

To my surprise, Sara undoes her seatbelt at the next red light and gets out of the car. She starts walking with determination, not minding the weather or looking back. Great!

I keep the car in pace with her. I don't call her but the message is clear enough. She keeps on walking and ignoring me. Oh, and fuck it! She wants to pout, so be it. I don't have to put up with her attitude. I give up and drive away, letting her brood in her corner.

I might add now that it's pouring rain. Yet, I let her go.

Thirty minutes after me, she comes into the locker room dripping wet. I don't apologize or anything. I just keep gathering my belongings before heading home. You want to know the worse in all that? I don't care. I don't care that I let her walk back here. I don't care that she'll probably be sick tomorrow because of this. I don't care anymore. Before, even when we couldn't stand each other, I cared. But now… I just don't.

So, you see, she and I are way beyond the no return point.

xxxxx

"I blew the horn ten minutes ago." I grumble at my sister when she opens the door.

"Well, had you taken the time to come in here ten minutes ago, I would have told you that she hasn't finished her homework yet and that she needs an extra five minutes," she answers calmly "Do you want a coffee?"

I send her a mean look. I haven't seen to her in more than a month either. I drive here, I blow the horn, Lindsey comes out and I drive away. When she comes to pick Lindsey up, she blows the horn from the driveway and we repeat the process. "Tell my daughter I'm waiting for her in the car." I reply, leaving without even looking at her.

I'm pissed with Sara. There's no doubt about that, but I'm even more pissed with my sister. Those where the first words we had in a whole month. So that should show her where we're at.

My life is upside down. And I don't know how to put it back in order again.


Alright chapter 9 isn't that far behind. And in spite of everything I actually like Catherine's character. :p

Thanks for reading.