EDIT (9/5): Edited out plot device.


"before Killer Killer, Chicken Dinner"

Trey

"Krakensewers", Central Windmire, Kingdom of Nohr


When I took that Wanted poster and decided to try nabbing the subject, neither I nor the person I was helping expected it to go this quickly. It was…anticlimactic, in a way that felt satisfying.

"STOP THAT MAN!"

The shrieking lady's voice rang loud against the stone confines of the underground sewer tunnels.

Huh?

Instinctively, I swiveled—faced the way I'd come. 70 yards or so back back, some guy in a brown hempen cloak was barreling in my direction. In fact, the cloaked man had barreled over some poor guy, some groceries toppling into the river.

I noticed two things before hiding behind the old crates on my right. One: Hempen Cloak, knife in left hand, behind the folds. Two: Beruka, chasing him close behind—15 yards behind, at least.

Okay, okay, I thought, keeping calm as I reached for my neck (had to make this as inconspicuous as possible). He's putting his weight forward in his run, so by the time he gets here, his neck'll be somewhere…around…

Then, inhaling sharply, I held out the Glint Scythe out perpendicularly—bracing one end against the wall to make it an immovable object. Here!

WHACK! "Gahk—!"

Almost like a scene from a cartoon, Hempen Cloak clotheslined right into the outstretched handle, sending him sprawled onto his back.

Dropping the scythe, I moved forward, pulling out of my jacket the stun gun that the D.S. personnel had loaned me. Hempen Cloak, seeing me, moved to swing his knife toward his throat.

He was halfway there before Beruka grabbed his arm, twisting his hand and dislocating his elbow. "Now, Trey!" she snapped, voice curt.

"AARGH!" The knife skittered near the edge of the sewer water.

Ignoring the man's scream, I pressed the stun gun against his neck. Bzzzzzzzt!

The arm shook violently in Beruka's grasp, then went limp as its owner passed out. I exhaled, and—as the arm was left to fall—perhaps she did, as well.

"Target neutralized," she said simply.

"Yeah," I agreed, the adrenaline rush having come and gone from my humanoid form. "Oh, right—can't forget…"

Putting the stun gun back in my jacket pocket, I produced a crude mouthguard-like contraption from the same place. "Boy, am I glad for bigger-on-the-inside pockets," I said as I fit it into Hempen Cloak's mouth. "Okay, all set." I grimaced. "Geez, that's some strong-smelling—"

"So, that woman's device will prevent him from biting his tongue?" Beruka asked.

"Yeah—assuming," I included, "that it doesn't fall into the 30% chance of screwing up."

The former assassin looked at me. Her emotional state was still hard to read, but… "What happens in that…'thirty percent of the time'?"

I scratched my head. "Well, if Miss Ingrid's hypothesis is correct, it'd break the subject's teeth."

"…Oh."

"Luckily, it'll be easy for the guard captain to remove and dispose of it," I said. "Now, where is the guard captain?"

Beruka moved Hempen Cloak over, pulling out some string. "No," she stated firmly as she expertly tied up his hands. "I'll turn this man in for us. You'd better head back to Fort Devas ahead of me."

"Oh…are you sure?"

She looked at me.

"…Yes, you're sure," I relented. "Just make it quick, okay? You don't wanna be late for the karaage chicken."

Beruka raised one eyebrow—which is rare. "What is this…ka-rah-ge you speak of?"

I was about to say something…then thought better of it. "That's something you should learn for yourself."

Her expression didn't change. "You're not insinuating that I can't handle it, are you?"

"No no no no no!" I waved my hands in front of my face as I exclaimed. "I was just trying to imply that life is like wetwork: prepare to be surprised, or something like that."

Oh, gods, I cringed at that. Am I ever going to get any better at this stuff?!

"Well, when you put it that way…" Finally, Beruka conceded. "All right. I'll give this dish a try."

Relaxing (though her expression softening helped), I nodded. "Okay, then," I said. "See you later, ma'am."

"You, too."

I may or may not have seen the ghost of a smile just then.


As Beruka walked off, Hempen Cloak's limp form slung over her shoulder, I set the Glint Scythe back in my neck before concentrating.

Lilith, I thought.

A flash of faint light appeared in the tunnelway behind me—which I'd failed to notice until now.

The small dragon popped her head around the stone, the know in her kerchief flopping over to one side. "You called?" she asked.

"Yeah. The job's done, but Beruka told me to head back first."

"I see. I'll keep my ears open, in that case." Then Lilith drifted a little closer. "Is something the matter, Sir Trey?"

"Huh? ...Oh," I shook my head. "It's nothing."

Her face was a little hard to read, but I could tell she didn't believe me. Regardless, she decided not to push it. "So, back to Fort Devas?"

I nodded. "Yup. Hopefully, Blu hasn't finished making dinner quite yet."