Avengers Noir Chapter 8

By Cadet Deming

Rated T for violence and adult content. I don't own the rights to the Avengers, Marvel and Disney do, so please don't sue. Natasha/Loki. Please read and review!

Loki clenched his shot glass so tightly the veins in his right arm bulged. Under his pale skin his veins looked bluer than most people's. I thought of the blue-blooded aristocrat stereotype, except as Loki was finding out his blood wasn't so "blue" but tainted and adulterated, there was nothing regal about him.

Loki said, "Amora is lying."

I said, "I trust my instincts, and I don't believe she was."

"Instincts? You've met Amora once. I've known her for life. She's a bloody harlot. A crazy, manipulative witch. This is probably another one of her schemes to get to Thor. My mother is a saint. She's a domestic goddess who would never betray my father with scum like Laufey."

I figured he was in denial. "No one's parents are perfect. What would Amora gain by making up an affair with Odin? It wouldn't bring Thor closer to her."

Loki poured himself another vodka. "Amora was a bit of a parasite to my family for years. Her father used to be one of my father's Vice-Presidents, but he died in a car accident when Amora was twelve. My father set up a trust fund for her education that sent her to Vassar College."

"Amora graduated from Vassar?"

I wondered if Amora's father dying in her youth led her to be so flirtatious and attention-seeking from men. Both of my parents died when I was young, and it had left its mark on how I related to the rest of the world.

Loki shrugged. "I knew my mother hated her. I assumed it was because of all the melodrama she created with my brother. My father didn't approve of Thor and Amora marrying. He said there is the kind of woman that you marry, and the kind of woman that you don't, and Amora was definitely the latter. "

Every time Loki said "my father" his eyes dropped down, as if he knew it was a lie and was ashamed of it.

I said, "I think there would be a lot less cheating if men would let go of their 'good girls don't like sex' stereotypes and actually married women with higher sex drives. Maybe Odin didn't want Thor marrying Amora, so he could keep her for himself on the side."

Loki laughed and downed his shot. "That would certainly explain a lot. He didn't pay for her college education out of the goodness of his heart, but to butter her up to be his mistress. No one does anything without an ulterior motive."

"What would be your mother's motive for sleeping with Laufey?"

Loki held the empty shot glass to his head as if he was in pain. "Good Lord, most people don't want to imagine their mother having sex with their father, let alone with a monster like Laufey. It can't be true. It can't be."

He put his glass down and picked up a family picture. His lip quivered and his eyes watered.

I tried to be comforting. "Loki, whatever your mother or Odin did, it's not your fault. This doesn't reflect on you. You didn't do anything wrong."

"Nothing wrong, except be born a half-bastard. My very existence is created from adultery and betrayal and lies. It all makes sense now, why my father, why Odin favored Thor over me all of these years. He knew I wasn't really his. What's the saying: Mama's baby, Papa's maybe? And now I'm never going to be able to even talk to him about it."

"Are you going to talk to your mother?"

"When the time is right. Have you told anyone else about this?"

"Only Clint."

Loki sneered and knocked his glass to the ground. It shattered.

He seethed, "You told him before you told me. Something this intimate and life-changing for me."

"I tell him everything."

"Should you?"

I hesitated to respond. I wasn't by nature an open person. Personal information could be twisted around too easily, but I did trust Clint with my life.

I said, "I trust him completely. Everyone needs a confidant"

"Trust? I can't even trust what my bloody parents tell me. Some people say money makes the world go round. Others say love. I say it's lies. Lies like family and honor and loyalty. At least I understand now why I've been treated as an outsider for so long. Why I've felt so alone in the world."

The despair in his voice broke my heart. I was afraid he was cracking. I covered his hand with mine.

I said, "Everything I've discovered is confidential. But if you want to end my involvement in solving Odin's murder since you know he's not your real father, I'll understand."

He squeezed my hand. "No. I want to solve it more than ever now, especially if Laufey is the culprit. It would be a delicious irony if I came out ahead of Thor, his real son on solving the final challenge of his life. Besides, I like having you around too much for you to walk away from me now."

His grip on me grew tighter and he pulled me closer. He was giving me the look, that look that men give when they're about to kiss you. I would be lying to say that it didn't feel tempting. He closed his eyes, those beautiful blue-green eyes of his, and leaned forward to press his lips to mine.

I stood up and turned away from him. I turned away to hide whatever expression on my face would give away my feelings.

"No," I said. "You're a married man."

"Being married didn't stop either one of my parents."

"And look at the damage that caused."

"Like my birth?"

"I didn't mean it like that. Look, you're drunk, and you just learned earth-shattering news. You're vulnerable, and I'm not going to take advantage of that."

He laughed. "You take advantage of me? Highly unlikely. I've wanted you since the day we met."

He slid up behind me and brushed my hair to the side. He kissed the back of my neck. I was afraid to look at him, afraid if I did I'd kiss him back.

I pulled away and said, "This is wrong."

"Look at me Natasha."

I kept my face neutral and met his eyes.

"If I wasn't married, would you want this? Don't lie to me, I've been lied to enough already."

"If you weren't married, then yes. But there are moral lines I won't cross."

"This moral code of yours, does it make you happy? Does it set you apart from the adulterers and murderers you hunt? Or does it just keep you alone? I sense that you're just as alone as I am."

"It works for me. If you want me to continue working for you, you'll respect that. I'll give you a pass on your behavior tonight because of the circumstances, but please don't put me in this position again."

Loki looked down at the ground for a few moments. "Agreed. But don't tell Clint about this. It will be our little secret."

"Our dirty little secret."

To be continued.