Chapter 8: Spring Showers
(For Irritated Bookworm and also in honor of lovely Bya's birth month. Enjoy! Love, Spunky)
Byakuya came awake again late at night and heard the sound of rain beginning to fall outside. He opened his eyes and found that he had been lifted and placed in his bed and wrapped warmly in the blankets. Strangely, he was alone. It felt odd, he thought, being without the zanpakutou spirit after all they had endured together. Senbonzakura had become such an important part of his life now. It was painful to think about him returning to just being a spirit. And if he felt the sting of knowing what was eventually going to happen, then it made sense that Senbonzakura would feel it even more keenly. Although, he reminded himself, when the spirit returned to being just a spirit and not having the confusion of also having a physical form, he would lose the wants and desires of the flesh and he would forget his carnal love for Byakuya.
He felt tears in his eyes at the loneliness the thought caused…
And he knew that the closing days would be very hard for both of them as Senbonzakura faced his fears about what was going to happen to him. After all, losing his materialized form was something similar to what humans experienced in dying, so he expected his zanpakutou's emotions to be mercurial as he dealt with the torrent of emotions the knowledge left him with.
He felt a chill inside and wondered where Senbonzakura had gone.
He slipped out of bed and tightened his yukata around his lean frame, blinking the cobwebs out of his head and extending his senses. He sensed then that Senbonzakura had gone out into the rain, and now stood on a small rise beneath one of the sakura trees, probably watching as the lightning flashed, making the raindrops glisten as they fell. Byakuya left the warmth of his room and stepped out into the darkened walkway. He remained there for several long moments, considering what to do next. He was torn, not knowing whether it would be better to go to Senbonzakura and try to help him deal with his burgeoning emotions, or if he should step back and allow the samurai to manage the emotions on his own. Being one who was used to solitude, Byakuya was inclined to offer space, but something inside him told him that his more innocent and vulnerable zanpakutou spirit would require a different approach.
He ignored the fact that his feet were bare and that he was still only dressed in his sleeping yukata, and stepped off of the walkway, into the sodden grass. The cold muck felt oddly lovely between his toes and along the bottom of his feet as he crossed the gardens and passed through the back gate. The rain coming down seemed more refreshing than a bother as it fell in large droplets onto his skin and clothes. He breathed in deeply as he moved onto the forest trail and headed in the direction where he sensed his zanpakutou stood. There was as much mist as rain around him, creating a wonder of unique shadows and forms in the darkness. There was little sound, but for the falling rain.
He reached the waterfall at the end of the trail, and spotted the sakura trees near the edge of the cliff. To his surprise, though Senbonzakura was there, as he had expected, he hadn't expected to find his zanpakutou bereft of mask and gloves, his long hair running in unkempt streams down his body, and his lovely revealed face splashed with tears and rain, and overtaken with agony.
"Senbonzakura," he whispered, his heart aching.
The samurai remained on his knees, clenching at the ground and sobbing heartbrokenly. Byakuya flash stepped to his side, dropping to his knees in the muddy grass and wrapping wet arms around his zanpakutou's rain-slicked body from behind.
"Sen..."
The samurai turned in his arms, a moan of emotional agony breaking from his lips as they sought his shinigami master's.
"Byakuya!" he sobbed, feasting on the noble's mouth as though starving.
One hand curled around Byakuya's body, holding him trapped in an endless kiss as the other tore off his yukata and pushed at his chest until he sank down onto his back on the ground. Byakuya gave in readily, spreading his creamy thighs and offering the only warmth he thought might reach his devastated lover.
That is the truth, isn't it? Even though I know well that he is a spirit and that he is meant to guard, protect and strengthen me, I see him as a creature every bit as deserving of happiness as I am. Just because he is a zanpakutou does not mean he should be forced to remain that way. Isn't that what my ancestor decided? Is this, then, why he chose as he did?
Senbonzakura...is the truth, then, that I should free you and let you live?
What should I do?
The thought spun in his confused mind as the samurai's fingers hastily prepared him, then the distraught samurai plunged into his body in a hard, breathtaking thrust. He didn't pause, but continued in desperate, quaking movements, moaning sobs pouring into Byakuya's ear as the rain and tears coursed freely down the zanpakutou spirit's fine, porcelain cheeks.
"I am sorry," Byakuya whispered, between their penetrating, almost violent kisses, "I don't know how to ease your pain, Sen. But I am here. I am always with you. Even when you must return to the way you were before, I will still be with you."
"I know," Senbonzakura sobbed, "It's just torture, thinking how we'll be this close, but I won't be able to feel these things I do now! I want to feel this forever! Why do I have to go back? Is it so wrong for me to want to stay alive, like you? I know that I am, in the end, just a servant, but is it wrong for me to desire to be with you like this always?"
"It's not wrong, Sen," Byakuya breathed warmly into his ear, soothing him with gentler kisses as the samurai's body strained hard against his, loosing the torrent of emotions that roiled inside him, "Any soul that tastes life wants it to continue. It was cruel for Muramasa to give you this taste of life without the reality of it."
"Th-there must be a way, don't you think?" Senbonzakura pleaded, "Some way that I could stay with you. I love you! I don't want to leave you. I feel like I'll die if I don't have you with me."
Byakuya tried to answer him, but was overwhelmed by the intensity and strength of his zanpakutou's powerful emotions and could do nothing but hold him tightly as they poured out of him. Lightning flashed around the two and thunder rumbled the ground under their writhing bodies. Senbonzakura's longing fingers, hands and lips seemed to burn against his skin everywhere at once and his emotions threatened to drown the noble in their depths. they surrendered together to an eruption of pleasure so beautiful that it hurt, and it left both shedding softer tears as they laid more quietly on the soggy ground, wound around each other's bodies and enjoying the gentler fall of rain. Slowly, the high emotion receded and Byakuya's caressing hands were able to calm his distressed zanpakutou.
There is nothing I can say that will ease his suffering. We both know that. So, this is all I can offer him.
He had almost reached a state of peace inside when the haunting voice of Kouga suddenly returned to him.
You fool yourself, Byakuya. You hold him tightly and lie into his ear about how you see him as an equal, as a lover. But you do nothing to ease his pain and set him free.
It could have been maddening, but the noble remembered suddenly how Kouga had treated his own zanpakutou with such disregard.
And you want me to feel guilt for not having control over rules that are not of my making, and which were placed for the protection of life through the amplification of our power? The answer isn't in defying the rules. It is in seeing that the zanpakutous affected by Muramasa were forever changed, and their cause must be considered with regard to their now existing human emotion.
He could hear Kouga's unsettling, mocking laughter rise up in his mind.
A zanpakutou is a tool, admit it. The laws that govern their treatment view them as tools. You pretend to care about this tool you use for amplification of your power and for sex, but Senbonzakura, under the law, is a tool.
"You're wrong," he whispered, his fingers tracing Sen's tormented face.
Am I? Then prove it. Free him completely of your power. Use that other man's method to give him life, if he's really your equal.
Byakuya forced the mocking voice away and focused his attention on the movements of his hands over Senbonzakura's exhausted body.
I will not abandon our laws for selfish reasons. I will find a way to help Sen without changing who I am. I will not give in to the lure to become selfish and lawless, as Kouga was.
"Come, Senbonzakura," he said calmly, gently helping the spirit to his feet and turning him back towards the main house.
Senbonzakura said nothing, but only leaned into his shoulder, letting himself be guided blindly. He seemed to have turned inward and gave no reply or sign that he heard as Byakuya whispered that it was going to be all right, that they were going to find a way. Unable to break through the spirit's reverie, Byakuya led him into the bedroom and then into the bathroom, where he turned on the shower and made the water steam, then coaxed Sen under the blazing spray and slowly bathed him.
And as miserable as he felt, the lovely spirit couldn't help being lulled by the soft caress of the noble's caring hands and the soothing sound of his voice. Between words, Byakuya's lips offered him honoring kisses and he finally found the heavy emotion receding.
Byakuya felt the change in his handsome counterpart and ran his hand down Senbonzakura's long back, capturing his bottom and pulling him into closer contact. He looked meaningfully into the spirit's weary eyes and lowered himself onto his knees in front of him. Warm hands gripped the spirit's strong thighs and Sen yielded a fluttering moan and closed his eye as the beautiful shinigami knelt at his feet and offered him unspeakable pleasure. And even more beautiful than the wonderful sensation was the overwhelming loveliness of Byakuya's face as he saw to the task. Sen's eyes softened and his fingers threaded into the shinigami's satin hair, clenching gently and encouraging his master's movements.
Even as the pleasure overtook him and he expelled his release in shuddering pulses, Byakuya remained at his feet, smiling and devouring, answering his samurai's needs with honest passion.
He raised Byakuya to his feet and attacked that plundering mouth, tasting their mingled flavors and marveling once more at how good it all felt on his senses. He almost began to cry again at the beauty, but with an effort, stopped himself. He remained more calm as the two exited the shower and dried each other's bodies, then Byakuya moved into the dressing area, seeking a fresh yukata. The spirit remained naked and pressed up against Byakuya's back, teasing his bottom and reaching around to explore his warm privates.
"I love you, Byakuya," he murmured into the noble's ear.
Byakuya smiled sadly at their reflection.
"And that love is gratefully returned," he replied softly.
He started to say more, then stiffened slightly, a look of discomfort crossing his lovely features.
"Byakuya? Are you all right?" the spirit asked in a concerned tone.
"Fine," Byakuya assured him, "It must be all of the excited emotions. I just need to rest."
But as they turned out of the dressing area, Byakuya staggered and Sen barely caught him before he would have crashed to the floor. He lifted the unconscious man off his feet and laid him in the bed, hastily making his mask and uniform reappear, then dashing into the hallway.
"Torio! Torio, please!" he cried, summoning the noble's attendant, "There is something wrong with Byakuya-sama!"
The attendant dashed into the bedroom and swiftly examined Byakuya's unconscius form, then flash stepped away, leaving Senbonzakura kneeling at his master's bedside.
"I'm sorry!" he apologized, "I've been leaning on you so much and you've been recovering and needing to be taken care of too. I'm sorry, Byakuya! Please be all right!"
He barely kept his composure as Torio returned to the room, accompanied by the clan's healer, who leaned over Byakuya and examined him for several excruciating minutes, before looking up at the zanpakutou spirit with a mystified expression and calling him back to Byakuya's side.
"What is it? Can I help him somehow?" he asked, frowning.
"That is what I am wondering," the healer posited, "Sit down beside him and place your hands here, over the lower abdomen and here, over his core spirit center. I want you to apply your reiatsu to the area, but slowly. Do not force in too much. Concentrate on that area and you will feel that the forces are out of balance. Use your reiatsu to balance his."
"Very well," Sen agreed, taking his place beside Byakuya and beginning the soothing infusion.
Michio touched Torio's arm and the two rose and moved away slightly.
"What is it?" the attendant inquired, "Did you find something wrong with Byakuya-sama?"
"His life is not in danger," Michio assured the attendant, "but something unprecedented has happened. I have never seen something like this before. Most surprising."
"But what is it? Why did Byakuya-sama faint like that?" Torio pleaded.
"Well, there are records of a time, long ago, when Muramasa manifested some other zanpakutous...mysterious stories of masters and zanpakutous that, instead of killing each other due to Muramasa's influence, fell in love. Of course, they were not allowed by our rules to be lovers, but some defied the laws and became lovers anyway. There was one man and a zanpakutou spirit that were so profoundly connected that the zanpakutou impregnated his male master. A spirit chamber formed in the shinigami's body and gathered and mingled their reiatsus. These bonded because of the resonance between them and caused the pregnancy."
"So, they had a child?" Torio whispered, gazing, wide-eyed, back at Byakuya and Senbonzakura.
"No," the healer whispered back, "Central 46 and the Noble's General Council rejected their plea for the spirit to be recognized as a living soul. They imprisoned the two, and fearing the nature of the child that was in the shinigami, they forced him to abort the pregnancy. There has never been another case like it...until now."
"But what do we do?" Torio asked desperately, "Do you think that Central 46 will make them do the same?"
"I don't know," Michio confessed, "But with all of the uproar over the zanpakutou rebellion and the fact that the rules have not been changed, I don't think it looks good for them."
"We must not tell anyone!" Torio exclaimed softly.
"If we want them to come through this and have a better outcome than that other man...yes."
"I won't tell a soul," Torio promised, "I will watch over them."
"Yes, and make sure that Senbonzakura gives Byakuya regular stabilizing infusions. He will have some symptoms, nausea, vomiting, food cravings and perhaps more losses of consciousness, but that should ease as things progress. Luckily, his body will change only slightly, so we can conceal what is happening. But there is danger that the pregnancy will be sensed."
"What can we do about that?"
"I will suggest a retreat to the country for several months," the healer explained, "You should go with them and make sure that only trusted staff go with them. Byakuya will need permission to leave, as he is still under house arrest, but, as his physician, I think I can convince the court to allow it. But for now, please go and bring them some tea and food. The infusion will leave Senbonzakura a little drained."
"Yes, of course!"
Michio returned to Byakuya's side, smiling comfortingly as the clan leader's eyes opened and looked curiously up at him.
"Well, you gave your attendant and zanpakutou a scare," he chuckled good-naturedly, "but you will be fine, Byakuya-sama."
"But why did he pass out?" Sen asked urgently, "Is he going to be all right?"
"Byakuya will be fine," the healer assured them, "However, there is something that had happened that has only happened one other time in our history. And I will be honest and tell you that it did not end well."
"Oh?" Byakuya inquired, frowning, "What happened?"
"Back when Kuchiki Kouga was using Muramasa to free and overcome the minds of zanpakutous, there was one master and spirit that began to resonate very strongly and they fell in love. They were quiet about it because they didn't want it known, but things went awry when it was discovered that the shinigami, even though male, was carrying a child."
"A child!" Byakuya mused softly, staring down at his abdomen, "Michio, are you saying that...?"
"Byakuya-sama, you and Senbonzakura and resonant souls. When Senbonzakura became a freed spirit and you became intimate, the resonance caused a spirit chamber to form inside you. Your reiatsus have merged within the chamber and that is why you have to receive infusions from Senbonzakura. The presence of the chamber and the developing soul within require that balance be maintained."
"We're going to have a baby?" Sen whispered in a stunned voice.
"Byakuya-sama is with child," the healer confirmed.
Sen's eyes rounded and his lips smiled under the mask. Byakuya, too, was equally affected at the thought.
"But you must understand," the healer went on, "Just as relationships between master and zanpakutou are looked down on, Central 46 and the Noble's General Council do not allow something like this. The other man who became pregnant by his freed zanpakutou was forced to abort the pregnancy, for fear that the child would be somehow dangerous."
"That's absurd!" Byakuya exclaimed softly.
"I am sure there is more information within the archive," Michio suggested, but you must be careful, Byakuya-sama. If the elders or any members of Central 46 or the Noble's General Council get wind of this, you will be in peril greater than when you were on trial before!"
"What can we do?" Sen asked desperately, "I won't let anyone hurt Byakuya or our baby!"
"I think that you cannot fight this battle while Byakuya-sama carries the child," Michio stated firmly, "You must get permission to leave the manor and go somewhere safe until the child is born!"
