It was almost April and the flowers in Janet's backyard were blooming. She stood at the sink washing dishes and looking out the window. So many things had taken place over the past year. So many milestones. Eddie, school, BillyJo moving to the Ridge…..losing Lance. Though she missed her brother, her life was good. She would be done with school in May and then start her student teaching in the fall. She was ready for school to be out. Working and going to school had been tough, but she did like being busy. She was hoping when her schedule eased up, it would help things with Eddie. He loved her. She was confident of that, but he had been distant lately. Seemed to have a lot on his mind. At first she thought it might have been the Rooster ordeal, but nothing had happened since he replaced her back door. Her fears regarding that situation were gone. She felt like Roster had moved on and was over everything. Still, she wondered what could be bothering Eddie. She hoped they could plan a trip or something once school was out. They could both use a vacation.
BillyJo came rushing into the clinic around two o'clock. She was out of breath from trying to get back from her lunch hour as quick as she could. Putting her purse in her locker she headed to the chemo bay to check in her afternoon patients. It was a day for celebration. The Commander would be receiving his last round of chemo today. He had done very well. He did have a few rough patches there, but got through. Now he was sitting in his chair waiting for BillyJo. She sat on her stool in front of his chair and greeted him as she prepared his various medications. She kept fumbling over everything, and dropped her pen twice. Mr. Garrett knew this was nothing like her so he touched her hand and looked her in the eye. "BillyJo calm down? What goes on with you today?" She let out a sigh, and put her hand to her temple in frustration. "Look, why don't we go take a walk before my session? You don't have a lot of patients in here today, and there are three other nurses here. What do you say?" She looked at him with such relief.
The Commander and BillyJo headed outside and started to walk down the sidewalk. "Mr. Garrett, I am so sorry. I was just in such a hurry and everything has been so stressful." She looked at him and motioned to a nearby bench where they could sit. They sat and both seemed to soak up the afternoon sun for a minute or two. "Mr. Garrett, I know you lost your wife when Nick and Ronnie were younger. How did you do it? How did you raise two kids by yourself? I have always been independent even before Lance and I were married, and Lance was on assignment a lot. It's just that even though I handled everything myself and was the only parent at home, my life revolved around when he would get back." She fought back the tears. "That's not gonna happen this time." The Commander looked at her closely. "BillyJo, you have to be patient with
yourself. There is only so much you can do." "Mr Garrett, today is my wedding anniversary, but sadly enough, I completely forgot." He put his arm around her and tried to give her some comfort. "Honey, after Nick and Ronnie's mom died, I forgot just about everything. Birthdays, anniversaries, couple of mornings I was so busy getting the boys ready for school, I almost went to work in my pajamas." They both laughed out loud. "Look, all I can tell you…. it takes time. You just take each day as it comes." They talked a little more and headed inside to start his chemo session. His wisdom made her feel better and she was ready to face the afternoon.
Janet stopped by Best Friend Windows to bring Eddie some lunch before her class that afternoon. He was distant and she was hoping this might make him feel better. She had not had a class that morning, so she stayed home and made a home cooked meal. "Hey there…what brings you by today?" Eddie said as he walked over to give her a kiss. She smiled. "Well, I was free this morning and decided to bring you a homemade lunch." He was glad to see her. She was asleep when he left for work that morning and he had been thinking about her all day. They shared lunch and talked a bit before she headed off to class. It was Friday and she would be closing at Sully's tonight. He kissed her good bye and said he would stop by and see her on his way home, but he never did. Normally she would not have thought anything about it, but she knew something had been bothering him. That night passed quickly and by two she was headed home. She was thinking he might be there waiting on her, but no luck. Well, there was nothing she could do. She laughed to herself. The old Janet would have raced straight to his house to see if he was home. She knew that eventually, they would talk when it was time. She wondered if he was re-thinking things. It sounded strange to her. He had seemed so happy and she was confident of his feeling. After locking the door behind her she took a quick shower and climbed into bed. All she could do was give him space.
Eddie's strange behavior continued for a couple of weeks. When they were together, it was great, yet she would not hear from him as much, and he rarely stopped by Sully's when she was working. "So…you're still concerned about Eddie?" BillyJo and the kids had stopped by for lunch at Sully's one Saturday when Janet was working. "I guess. I wonder if I am reading too much into it." "Maybe… you never know with men, I know he's crazy about you, but men are different." Janet sat at the table with them to take a break. "What do you mean?" BillyJo took a sip of her diet coke and continued. "Well, it's not like I have too much experience in this department. I married your brother at eighteen, but you have to remember. Women love a lot easier than men. It is more complicated for them." Janet nodded in agreement. "So, what do I do? Anything?" BillyJo swallowed her last bite salad and winked at Janet. "You sit still. Wait and see.
Whatever is going on with him will come to the surface. Deal with it then. Don't pressure him, or be a nag. You just listen. More than anything, you two are friends. He will eventually talk about it. Sooner or later."
Ikey brought some bagels to Eddie and Phil's on Sunday. The three of them were sitting at the table drinking coffee and talking guy stuff. "Hey Ikey." Phil said "Pizza Girl has a friend she wants to fix you up with." Ikey looked up from his mug with a little shock on his face. Eddie stopped eating waiting to see the reply. Phil had warned Eddie he was going to bring it up. Ikey had not seen anyone since Alison and it just seemed best for everybody to get Alison out of his system. Ikey paused a bit, and took a big bite of his bagel "Thanks, but no thanks." Eddie looked at Phil. "Come on Ikey, why not?"Eddie said. "Be a chance to meet someone new. If not her, what about someone else?" Ikey took another sip of coffee. "Sorry… not interested." Eddie and Phil read each other's thought's and said in unison "Ok, what's her name?" Ikey wouldn't give up the information, but Phil and Eddie had an idea he was pining over someone. Phil got up and took his plate to the kitchen "You home tonight Eddie?" He called out. Phil was hoping he would say no. He had noticed Eddie had been hanging around the house and acting kind of down. He was hoping Eddie was going out with Janet. "I'm not sure. Haven't made any plans." Phil walked back to the table with a pot of coffee and filled his mug. "What's up with you Eddie? You haven't been hanging out at Sully's and you didn't stay over with Janet much last week." Eddie didn't know how to put it into words, so he didn't say anything.
Janet finished up the lunch crowd on Sunday and headed home. It was about three o'clock and she wondered if she would hear from Eddie tonight. He had come by Sully's yesterday and things seemed good. He knew she was off tonight, but the way he had been acting she wasn't sure. Eddie usually did what he said he would, yet lately, he had not been committing to anything. Janet locked the door behind her and changed clothes for her walk. Even though it was April, it was a little brisk outside. She didn't need a jacket though. Her pace was warming her up. It was a good walk. It cleared her mind just as she had hoped. When she got back to her house she checked to see if Eddie had called. Nothing. She went to her purse and checked her cell. Nothing. "Oh well" She said out loud. She then headed to the shower and got cleaned up.
Later that night she was in the kitchen slicing an apple when the door bell rang. She quickly washed her hands and headed to the living room. "Hey Eddie…..I didn't expect to see you tonight." He looked at her and could not help but smile. After her shower she
had let her hair air dry, so her curls were everywhere. She didn't have on a stitch of makeup. Her old comfy jeans and white button up shirt looked good. She looked good. Janet reached up and gave him a kiss. "Come on in." They both went to the couch and sat. He didn't really say much. Just chit chat. Finally, she couldn't help herself. She hoped it would sound like she was pressuring him. "Eddie…you doing ok?" He just looked at her. "You have seemed a little distant lately. Have I ……done something wrong or anything?" Eddie looked at her sitting next to him. She had turned slightly to face him and her eyes were….glowing. "No…no Janet. You haven't done anything wrong." He looked at the floor. "I am just…..I don't know…" She took his hand. Now she was confused. Eddie adjusted himself on the sofa and turned towards her. He started to speak when she read his thoughts. "You are having doubts….aren't you?" She had said what he had not been able to say. "Janet, I love you….…." Janet really didn't know what to say. His actions had said so much, yet she didn't understand. How can you love someone yet not be sure if you want to be with them. He reached over, cupped her face and kissed her. He kissed her like he couldn't get enough of her. Hungry for her. She looked at him and took his hands from her face and held them. "Eddie, we have been through so much. We have had to deal with so much chatter and crap about your womanizing and my foolish choices." She paused gathering her thoughts. "It hasn't been easy, I know, but… I am here. I have been here, and I am in this one hundred and ten percent." He looked away, wishing he could say the same. She braced herself thinking he was going to speak but he didn't. She swallowed hard never letting go of his hand. "Eddie, I need to know that you are sure." She said it so sweetly, it almost brought tears to his eyes. "If I am going to be in this, you have to be sure."
Eddie sat in his truck outside Janet's house. Why didn't he say anything? Why did he leave? What was going on with him? He opened the glove compartment and pulled out the ring box.
Later that week, Rooster was working the lunch shift at Sully's, and overheard Nick talking with Ikey. "He said they are pumping the brakes. He is confused and doesn't know what he wants…"
