'You told him you've got blue hair, and he believed ya?' responds Splinta with delight. The Wizard seizes the opportunity to persuade Splinta that it's time to replace the old Valiant's seats. Off to a wrecker they go.

'Very rare. Don't like ya chances.' advises the wrecker. The trip, not in vain. Splinta eyes the wrecker's guard dogs, two Rottweilers.

The Wizard and Splinta sit at the dognapper's kitchen table, reshaping two greyhound muzzles for tonight's work. This being about the time O'Possum enters High Noon.

Wizard scratches behind his ear. 'Little Splinta. I'm telling you what he told me. They won't take food from strangers. The male's desexed and can't be drawn off by a bitch on heat. And. And they are both trained to kill. We won't get close enough to put these muzzles over their huge heads.' Wizard reaches across Formica top table for cigarettes.

'The reason I told ya to get him talking was to get their names. All the information needed.' Splinta exchanges the muzzle he works on for rollys.

'Soldier. What a bloody name for a dog. Soldier! You saw what happened when the wrecker yelled "Charge". '

'Well he won't be there to yell anything Wiz. Stay calm. What was the bitche's name? She's the one we need to watch.'

'Matilda.'

'Yeah! Matilda. You'll come a waltzing Matilda with me.' sings Splinta. 'I reckon we'll get four, even five hundred for her. Sell her easy. Biggest Rocky bitch I've ever seen; easy 60 kilos. First mug we meet with money will buy her for sure.'

'What about Soldier? '

'Should get two, or even three hundred for him. Some mug'll buy him.'

'Mug? You mean lunatic Little Splinta. Only a lunatic would want a dog that rips bumper bars from cars with its bare teeth?'

'It was only plastic but. Yeah!' Splinta considers his mates argument. 'Compared to the bitch he's small, less than 50 kilos; and a good party trick. You're right Wiz. Get five for him too. Just need to meet a lunatic. And they cost a fortune to feed? Lunatics everywhere! No worries!'

'Why not wait for the wrecker's reward notice?'

'No! No way Wiz. He won't advertise, not unless he wants to shoot them dead. Actually we're doin' him a favour. Thinks his yard's safe when it's not. See that old Rolls under the tarp?'

'No!'

'I snooped while you were quizzing. He thinks the Rolls is safe when it's not. False security. And it costs a fortune to maintain them Rockys. And if they ever get loose and bite somebody, the wrecker will be sued for everything he's got.'

'If they live to sue?'

'Wiz? If you're feeling guilty 'bout relieving the wrecker of his dogs.'

'Who mentioned guilt?'

'What we can do is leave a couple of replacements.' suggests Splinta going to kitchen window, looking past the cafe curtains. 'What would suit a wrecker? There's a Silky Terrier. Yeah! How's that sound Wiz?' ...

No reply.

'And a Chihuahua. Both breeds, good ratters. I bet that yard's full of vermin. And yap! If anybody comes near the yard they'll be driven off by the racket.'

'What about O'Possum?' asks Wizard staring into coffee mug, wishing it a beer. 'He'll be waiting for us. Should have a couple with him. Besides Little Splinta. He'll have news about Stupid and the moron.'

'I rang mum while you unloaded that useless mutt. ...' Splinta smiles still looking through the window, thinking Yes! Stupid's finally gone. '... She's goin' to O'Possum's tonight for dinner...' The most witless mutt, ever lived. '... Birgit will ground O'Possum for sure. He'll be cornered.' Splinta laughs 'He .. he .. he. I don't feel sorry either. I warned him not to get involved with her.'

'Ya own sister? Why not?'

'She's bad music.'

'How did they get together?'

'We had the old man's wake at the Rose & Thorn. Mum made Birgit come along. Anyway O'Possum, who made an excuse not to go to the service, lobs at the wake and says to me "Mate! Look at the pins on that bit of gear standing by herself. Bloke's gotta get between them. Gotta mate. Wonder who she is?" Well I told him she's my sister and if you've got any brains keep well clear.'

Splinta tops up the kettle, switches it on. 'The idiot thought I was trying to protect me sister. I was trying to protect him. He got the shits with me, introduced himself to Birgit. Ya want another coffee?'

'Coffee Little Splinta? I'm finished with coffee for today.'

'Tongue a bit dry; beer old mate?' ... 'Don't worry Wiz. I'll grab some coldies before we go to the wrecker's.'

'Can ya get some now?'

Splinta sees his mate's miserable look. 'Tell ya what? Finish the muzzles. I'll go to the bottle-O.'

When Splinta's old Valiant returns, Wizard waits in the driveway, cigarette in mouth.

'How'd ya go with the muzzles?'

'All done Little Splinta.'

Splinta opens the boot. Wizard wets his lips. Stubbies, two cartons and a cheap scotch. 'We havin' a little party Little Splinta?'

'Ya might say that.' Splinta lifts the top carton.

Wizard's head lobs into boot, hands clasping the remaining carton but Splinta says 'Leave that one there.' Hands grab for the cheap scotch. 'Leave that as well. Just close the boot please mate.' Boot slams shut.

Carton rested on sink, The Wizard's hands grapple and rip at cardboard, a six-pack swiftly emerges. Wizard settles at kitchen table. Splinta places the remaining stubbies in the fridge before joining his mate.

'Aaargh.' Splinta savours the first mouthful, looks across at The Wizard finishing his first stubby.

'Slow down Wiz. Plenty there.'

But The Wizard cracks second stubby before Splinta finishes a second sip. 'No wonder you didn't bother putting them in the fridge.'

Beer washes dryness and anxiety from Wizard's mouth, cigarette lit, he relaxes. 'Nobby said something interesting about you.'

'Good God! Tell me.'

'Says you can see 'round corners.'

'What?'

'Said your bug eyes can see 'round corners.'

'Sounds like O'Possum's bullshit.'

'You're a bit down on our drinkin' mate. Aren't ya?'

Splinta draws long on a rolly before smoke escapes slowly. 'He can be a pain. ... Ahhh! Bloke should be more tolerant.'

'How do you know him? School?'

'School! Crickey! O'Possum went to boarding school. I went to Truant Bloody High.'

'O'Possum's educated?'

'Complete waste of money. When he turned sixteen, mother let him leave school. His first job; Mr Executive at the family factory. My first job too. ... That's how I met him.'

'And you've been mates ever since Little Splinta.'

'Mates! Blimey! The worst thing I ever did? Saved his life. Bloody saved the mongrel's life. Mostly stuck with him ever since.'

'Really! Saved his life Little Splinta?'

Splinta's little head shakes ruefully. 'Well he strutted, paraded himself 'round Daddy's factory dressed in a suit, giving orders to blokes who'd been working there for years. A complete impostor, upsetting everybody. What use to shit me and the others most. Bloody hell! He'd appear from nowhere. Then tell ya to do what you were just about to do; irritating shit, upsetting everybody.

Same time, a girl working there, only fifteen, left for no apparent reason. We found out he'd been pantsing her and got her up the duff. Dropped her like a bag of shit. The old bloke paid her off.'

'Like father like son?' asks Wizard.

'A pair of bloody selfish so and so's. I'd had enough. Didn't care if they gave me the sack. So what I did, I got a big bucket of food colouring ready ...'

'What sort of factory was it?'

'Food. So I ...'

'What sort of food?'

'Sweets, candy, biscuits, sort of shit I don't eat. Any more questions? ... I hid on the top level waiting for O'Possum to walk underneath. Saw him coming, kept hidden, waited and waited. Dill didn't arrive. This is the painful part. I gets curious and climbs down to the second level where he should be. Mind you, a real noisy place, machinery everywhere. So I walked along wonderin' where he got too. Blimey! What made me do it; who knows? I looked in the powdered milk silo, saw a hand and suit cuff slowly disappearing. Found a long piece of timber.'

'Quick thinking Little Splinta.'

'Too bloody quick! Got back to the silo, he'd completely disappeared. I shoved the timber where I last saw him. Screaming me lungs out for help, I pushed and prodded the timber around. Finally felt a bump. Kept prodding at the bump. Suddenly this bloody huge weight comes onto the timber, nearly pulled me bloody in. Had to hang on! Suddenly out from the powder came a hand followed by another, slowly pulling up 'till finally the head appeared. I kept screaming for help. Nobody came. Just his head, he didn't have the energy to climb further. His head spewing, spluttering, spitting and coughing shit from its lungs. Eventually some help. Tell ya what? I was cactus. Couldn't move me arms for three days.'

'How in hell did he fall in a silo?'

'Didn't fall. Pushed! I wasn't the only one waiting. Another bloke hidden, pushed him in.'

'Shit! He did upset the wrong people.'

'Funny thing Wiz? O'Possum never blabbed. Said he looked in the silo to see how empty it was, lost his footing and fell. You can't pick people. No way!'

'Plenty races through ya head as ya look at ya own death. .. What happened to the gold digger?'

'Who?'

'The pregnant fifteen year old.'

'What do ya mean gold digger? She was a kid Wiz. Conned into openin' her legs by an impostor.'

'Did she end up having his kid?'

'Yeah! A girl and to top things off, married the bloke who pushed O'Possum into the silo.'

'Don't suppose O'Possum ever saw his little offspring.'

'Use to! The bloke who tried murderin' him, let O'Possum visit, as long as he didn't let on he was dad. But she pissed that bloke off, got another one, said he'd kill O'Possum if he ever came near 'em again. And now O'Possum pays fifty dollars maintenance each fortnight. One of the reasons he's so broke.'

'But O'Possum's only on the dole?'

'Guilt money.' replies Splinta, first stubby empty, going to the fridge. 'You want one of these cold ones?'

'Yeah Little Splinta.'

'Well pass me those before they boil.'

Splinta sits, Wizard asks 'What happened after you saved our mate?'

'O'Possum never came back to the factory. Suited me, I didn't need any words of gratitude. Next thing the banks moved in and closed the factory. I got my wages but no holiday pay, six weeks owed to me. Guess who got first bite of the cherry? Taxation! Secondthe banks. The government reckoning; O'Possum's arsehole dad drank and gambled the employee's money but not taxation's.'

Splinta blows a smoke ring. Both men's eyes follow it to the ceiling.

'Didn't take me long to get another job, with a builder. The one I told you's about. Worked with him for eleven years. He went bust too. Caught again. Only this time I lost more, didn't get a bean of long service. And this time 'round there's a recession. Couldn't get another job. Had to give up me little apartment nice 'n close to the Rose & Thorn and moved back home for a spell.'

'What was O'Possum doing?'

He went into real estate. Loved wearing a suit. You haven't seen him in a suit have ya? He brushes up real big and got the gift of the gab. Began his own real estate business same time as the big recession; the arse fell out of everything. Especially real estate. Sister Cecilia bailed him out. Secured the loan against his share of the house when the old girl died.'

'An inheritance?'

'The old girl kicked on quite a few years after the old bloke drank himself to an early grave; the factory his haunting memory. She never let him touch, deeds to the house, all in her name.'

'Why didn't O'Possum go bankrupt?'

'Full of .. Useless pride! Didn't want to dud everybody like his old man did. And now. .. Now he's got no pride what-so-ever. The idiot didn't tell Birgit about the loan. So instead of a small fortune they received enough to buy an ex-commission cottage.'

'Did it upset ya sister?'

'What do ya reckon? O'Possum! Ha ha ha. Her ticket out of the suburbs. And wasn't she dirty on the sister-in-law. Called her everything filthy thing imaginable at the Christening. And after Cecilia bought a real expensive gift. Livened up the party. I can tell ya.'

'Ya moved back home?'

'Yeah! ... Moved back. Dad wasting away in bed with cancer. Soon as Dad died, I moved out. Took to dognapping to support myself.'

'Why didn't ya go on the dole like everybody else?'

'Na! Seen what happens to others. Blokes I'd been to school with, been on it for years with no intention of getting off.'

'So if O'Possum went into real estate, how did ya ...?'

'How he creeped back into me life? Out of the blue, came into the Rose & Thorn, one evening. Dressed up in a suit, handing out business cards. The old man and me, met after work and shared a few schooners. The big businessman shouted us schooners all night. Bloody hell! Haven't I repaid those beers?'

'And he's never worked since?'

'A few jobs; doesn't last long. Lost it! Lost his ... Lost what it takes to succeed. Ambition! Gone! Completely gone along with his pride.' declares Splinta, second stubby finished. 'Must attend to the mutts. You relax Wiz.'

The Wizard asks 'Saving O'Possum's life. You really regret it.'

'Stuffed if I know what to think.' answers Splinta, opening the back door, valium in hand.

Wizard assails another stubby, the dognapper goes about tasks peculiar to that profession. Splinta returns, cracks another stubby then opens a kitchen cupboard and discovers heavy bolt cutters.

'Know how to use these Wiz?'

'Yeah! Worked with them before.'

'I'll scrounge 'round for the other gear.' Splinta swigs his stubby, exiting through the back door. He soon returns with a four feet length of galvanised two inch pipe and two metal dishes. Found roll of thin metal wire and pliers from sink drawer where you expect to find tea towels; complete tonight's dognapping equipment.

'Bloody hot Wiz. Hope it cools down tonight.' comments Splinta finishing his stubby before taking another two from the fridge.

Wizard surveys apparatus on kitchen table. Splinta disappears into the hallway, soon reappearing with a hammer and nail jar.

'Gotta knock holes in these dishes so we can tie wire to them. Better do it on the back step. Where's ya beer?'

Task accomplished, they return to the kitchen table. Splinta rolls a smoke. Wizard offers a fresh stubby. Splinta says 'Better make this one me last. You can have a few more.'

' Little Splinta you drank quite a few beers quickly last night.'

' One week no beer! Yeah! Guilty as charged! Thirsty Wiz, incredible dry.'

'You know Little Mate, the tattoo pool players wanted a piece of you? Wanted to follow you into the toilets.'

' I was waiting! Waitin' for 'em.'

'Really?'

'There's a piece of lead pipe in a cistern, check it regular. Make sure it's still there. Maybe got there initials on it. Smallest bloke on many a building site, bring on the cowards. I learn't the hard way. First blow over the head, guess where the next shot goes .. ha ha!'

Wombat grimaces, his arse involuntarily stirring on seat.

'They want to hospitalise me Wiz, return the favour; return it first!'

'Don't suppose ya gonna tell me what the equipment's for.' Asks The Wizard, pointing to boltcutters, pipe, wire and metal dishes.

'Not much point Wiz. Only have to explain again tonight.'