Rustling trees and the sound of river provided the backdrop for Henley on Thames. The sky was a grey blue, the sun shimmering through a few fluffy clouds. Over the horizon the square tower of the old church dominated, the bridge and river melding into a quaint and panoramic view.
The church of Saint Mary the Virgin was lofty and large, almost giving the presence of a cathedral with its ample side chapels, rather than that of a parish church. Stepping inside there was both a sense of community and severity, the austere stone floors and detailed Victorian mural providing the setting of a typical English parish church. The spring light hit the magnificent, detailed stained glass shimmering through to break up the shadows, which clung to the carved Latin inscriptions.
There was something tranquil about the building, something timeless despite little remaining of the older church.
Walking up the aisle, his tweed jacket tightly pulled over his portly frame, the senior vicar seemed flustered. The voices of the two men behind him seemed to echo, like loud cries and shouts, despite the fact that the men were desperate to maintain a 'low voice' within the hallowed walls.
Jeremiah Bronwich had always wanted to be a vicar. His large round frame, his bald head (save for the few tufts of silver-white hair around his ears), and his strong conservative nature had the makings of a traditional parish priest. The problem, he found, was that his traditional views were fast disappearing – and as he resisted retirement more and more he was questioning where he stood. He didn't believe in divorce, he didn't believe in having children outside of marriage and he certainly didn't agree with… perhaps he should have been a catholic he often mused.
"Will you baptise him or won't you?" asked Craig, his teeth biting down on his bottom lip.
"It's not that object to baptising any child," Jeremiah swallowed, removing a white handkerchief from his breast pocket and dabbing the few beads of sweat away from his forehead. "What I am asking is why you wish to have him baptised. Baptism is a solemn occasion, not an excuse for a party. It is undertaken by… by…"
"By?" John Paul interrupted.
"Parents or guardians wishing to establish their child within the Christian faith and its teachings."
"And we're…?" Craig trailed off.
"I am sorry, but I must question if you are either of those… I don't mean to insult you, but are either of your Christian? Are either of you going to be bringing up the little one in a Christian household because your lifestyles…"
"So because we're together you don't think we should have him baptised? What is he dirty or something? Not entitled to something because he's being brought up by two men?" Craig's olive skin flashed with anger.
"I didn't say that. But what are your motives? Maybe when he's older, he could decide for himself if he wishes to identify?"
"Do you say that to everyone who asks you to baptise their child?" John Paul quizzed.
"I am sorry," Jeremiah smiled, "but he isn't your child is he?"
"That is hardly through choice," Craig said, his teeth gnashing together as he fought to keep his anger in check. "You don't think we wouldn't rather have his mother planning his baptism, or his first birthday, or what school to send him to? But we don't have that luxury, Joshua won't ever get to know his mother and all we are trying to do is plan this one day for him... to celebrate the fact that he's here with us because my sister isn't here to do that for him anymore..."
"I... I realise that," Jeremiah replied, his eyes filled with the sorrowful understanding of a man who had witness many families grief in his time. "And I am sorry but..."
"But you still won't do it because we don't fit in with your neat little idea of what a family should be... so much for a loving church... you sicken me... this whole system sickens me..."
Turning on his heels Craig stormed from the church, his footsteps echoing loudly in the otherwise silent building.
Watching his lover exit the church John Paul turned his face to the aging Vicar, shaking his head in disappointment.
"I'm sorry," Jeremiah said with a shrug as the blonde man's blue eyes regarded him coolly.
"You know we might not be the most religious people in the world," John Paul said, his voice calm but filled with regret, "I'm sure not many of the families who celebrate the important things in their lives in your church are... but I'm not totally ignorant of the bible... my mother made sure of that... we had to learn quotes and stuff at school when I was a kid... funny how some of those things stick with you... and one thing I always remembered went something like nobody saw God at any time, but if you love one another then you saw God... if you're too busy saying everything is wrong and judging how can you ever know God. I'm sorry that you don't think that small boy is worthy of being baptised here... sorry for you."
Without another word John Paul turned and followed Craig from the church, his soft footsteps somehow seeming to ring even louder than the angry stamping feet of his boyfriend.
Jeremiah stood for some time after the men had left his church, his eyes fixed on the large wooden doors and yet not really seeing them. The blonde man's words echoed in his head, almost as if the walls of the church had held them in the building, replaying them over and over on a loop.
Walking over to the lectern Jeremiah thumbed quickly through the pages of his old and well worn bible, noticing the signs of age prominent on the back of his hands. Finding the correct page Jeremiah's eyes searched out the passage, 1 John 4:12, he ran his fingers over the words as he read them out loud.
"No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us."
"Craig... Craig calm down," John Paul said as he watched his boyfriend angrily pace the centre of their living room, back and forth, each step filled with anger and frustration as he raged against the unfairness of the situation.
Reaching out John Paul grabbed Craig's arm, bringing the man to a halt as he looked into the burning fire of Craig's deep brown eyes. "Just calm down!"
"Did you hear what that man said?" Craig said, the fire in his eyes suddenly extinguished by unexpected tears. "Are we doing the wrong thing?"
"What? Trying to get Joshua baptised?"
"No," Craig said, throwing himself heavily onto the sofa with a sigh. "All of it... raising him... trying to be a family..."
"Of course that's not wrong... we're giving that little boy a loving home... what's wrong in that?"
"But John Paul... if even the local vicar won't baptise him because of us what else is he going to have to face? The boy at school with the two daddy's... you know what kids are like, they'll pick on anything that stands out as different..."
"Oh Craig..." Sitting down John Paul took hold of Craig's shaking hands, holding them firmly. "Of course sometimes things will be hard... that's just part of growing up... if it's not because of us there would be something else... but Joshua will be loved and protected and we will do everything in our power to make sure he's happy..."
"But is it enough?"
"It has to be... Debbie is counting on us."
"But what if mum had been right all along? What if Joshua would be better off with her?"
"Do you love him Craig?"
"Of course I do... you don't have to ask me that!"
"Do you wish that Debbie had never asked us? Do you resent him being here? Would you prefer that he wasn't?" John Paul's eyes were gentle and understanding, he already knew the answers to the questions because his answers were the same.
"Of course not," Craig replied, the last of his anger draining from his voice.
"There will be times when things are hard, but any family goes through that... and that's what we are Craig... a family. So one vicar disapproves... so what? How about we call the vicar back in Marylebone and see if he's still willing to do it eh?"
"I guess," Craig said with a shrug. "I just wanted it to be there you know? This is our home now, we should be able to have Joshua baptised in the local church."
"I know..." Brushing a light kiss over Craig's cheek John Paul smiled softly. "But sometimes we just have to accept these things yeah?"
Resting his head against John Paul's chest Craig breathed in the familiar fragrance of the man he loved, feeling the warmth and security as John Paul's arms wrapped tightly around him.
Peace shrouded the room and even Kai, who was sat in the doorway washing his face, chose not to disrupt it, instead he stroked his face, smoothing out his whiskers with his paws before turning back towards the kitchen to see if there had been any interesting morsel left in his dinner bowl.
The shrill peal of the telephone made the two men jump, rousing them from a slumber they hadn't realised they had fallen into.
With a grumble Craig dragged himself to his feet and walked over to the answer the call that had disturbed their peace.
"Hello?" Craig said, rubbing his eyes to dislodge the sleep that had been claiming him. "Yeah this is Craig... what? Well yeah but... of course we still want to... why the change of heart? Really... no, no he never said... Ok yeah... yeah I'll get back to you... and thanks... no really thank you."
Hanging up the phone Craig turned to face his boyfriend, his eyes sparkling and his mouth curled into a wide smile.
"What the hell did you say?" He asked as he made his way back to the sofa.
"What? When?"
"That was the vicar... he's had a change of heart... wants to see us to discuss dates..."
"Oh Craig that's brilliant news."
"Yeah it is... so what DID you say, McQueen?" a slight worried look flashed through Craig's eyes, hoping it was the McQueen charm rather than the McQueen temper that had swayed the vicar.
"You do know he'll never forgive us for this," Craig laughed as he raised the camera to capture the image of John Paul with Joshua cradled in his arms.
"What?" John Paul replied with a grin, "He looks lovely!"
Stretching up his chubby arms Joshua's hands reached for John Paul's face, his fingers patting at the man's chin, oblivious to the fact that he was dressed in a white baptism gown dotted with small blue flowers.
"John Paul he's in a dress!"
"It's a gown," John Paul replied, blowing raspberries against the baby's hands as they covered his mouth. "You don't really mind do you? Mum would be gutted if we didn't use it... she bought it special..."
Watching his boyfriend rock his nephew gently in his arms Craig was torn between a desire to laugh and cry. There were no two people in the world as important to Craig as that man and little boy, yet he couldn't stop his thoughts going to the woman who never got the chance to be a part of her son's life and Craig made a silent vow to his sister that her son would never doubt how much his mother had loved him, would always love him.
"I suppose it's traditional," Craig said as he snapped another photograph. "Besides we need something for when he starts dating..."
"Dating?"
"Yeah you know... embarrassing baby photos..."
John Paul laughed as his mind flashed forward to Joshua's teenage years and he could see the glee in Craig's mischievous eyes as he brought out the baby album, the teenage boy hiding his face as one cringe making photograph after another was revealed to his latest romantic interest.
"You're a wicked man Craig Dean!"
"You only just working that one out McQueen?"
The men's laughter was interrupted as Frankie entered the room, her eyes shining with love as she stroked one finger over Joshua's cheek.
"You three boys ready for off?" Frankie asked, her smile widening as John Paul placed the child into her arms. There had been a time when Craig's mother would have felt compelled to take Joshua from John Paul, just as he would have been determined to refuse her, but finally they had reached an understanding based on the simplest fact of all, the love for a baby who needed them, all of them.
"Myra's not here yet," Craig said, his eyes flicking towards the clock.
"She's meeting us at the church," John Paul replied with a smile, he couldn't remember a time when his mother wasn't running late for one engagement or another and, even though he didn't get to see her very often, it was good to know that some things never changed.
Jeremiah Bronwich held the small child in his arms and smiled, of all of God's miracles surely this was the most perfect, the most precious and as Joshua looked up at him the vicar knew he had made the right decision. He may not agree or ever be comfortable with the world's modern approach to families but Jeremiah could not deny every new baby's right to the blessings of the church.
Joshua had thankfully dozed through most of the service, the vicar's voice lulling him to sleep in much the same way it almost had done to his guardians, his attention only really captured when the cold water touched his head but even then he merely grumbled a little without giving in to any full blown tears.
Taking his nephew from the arms of the vicar Craig smiled and mouthed the words "thank you" to the man who had agreed to baptise the child despite his own misgivings.
"All of God's children are special," Jeremiah said to the congregation. "And each baptism I have performed in all these many years have left their print on my heart but this little boy has proved to be something extra special... I guess I will always remember my last baptism before I finally hang up my dog collar and take a long overdue retirement to the coast. I wish him and all of his family well and pray that God's blessings go with you all."
The living room bustled with people, a long table had been placed the full length of one wall and filled with the extensive buffet and selection of drinks. Craig had considered hiring a venue for the celebration following Joshua's baptism but in the end the men had preferred the idea of doing it at home, their family home.
A strange kind of truce had been reached between Myra and Frankie over the years and, although the two mothers would never be friends, their sons appreciated the fact that the women were no longer sworn enemies.
"Just look at them," Myra said, sipping at her glass of champagne and nodding towards the corner of the room. Frankie followed the other woman's gaze, her own face echoing Myra's smile as they watched the little family in the corner, the two men and the child in their care. "I think they're gonna do OK you know..."
"They're good lads," Frankie agreed. "My Debbie knew what she was doing... I wish I'd seen it sooner."
"Don't be so hard on yourself Frankie," Myra replied with surprising kindness. "You were going through a lot too... they know you only wanted the best for that little mite..."
"I guess so, I just didn't see he already had it..."
"But you do now... and now's what matters..."
"What are you two Grandma's gossiping about?" Craig asked as he approached, Joshua nestled against his chest with his eyes tightly closed and his thumb between his lips, finally giving in to the sleep he had been trying to resist for the past hour.
"Grandma's?" Myra asked with a pleased smile.
"Well yeah, that's what you are isn't it?" John Paul asked, his arm casually snaking around Craig's waist, pulling the man close to him in an affectionate but also instinctively protective manner.
Myra's smile grew as she looked at the little family, a family she was proud to be a part of and she stepped forward to press a kiss to her son's cheek and, somewhat surprisingly, repeating the action as she kissed Craig, making the brunette stammer and blush for a moment.
Raising her glass Frankie let her gaze drop to the floor. They had been through so much and yet they were still there, still strong and still together, she was ashamed to have doubted them.
"Mum?" Craig said with concern as he carefully handed the sleeping child to John Paul. "Mum are you OK? Are you crying?"
"It's nothing," Frankie sniffled, "I'm just being silly..."
"Mum tell me... what's wrong?" Craig said, his hand resting against his mother's shoulder as he looked at her with a worried frown.
"Really it's nothing," Frankie repeated as she raised her gaze to face her son, he little boy who had suddenly grown into a strong confident man. Touching her hand to Craig's face Frankie smiled. "I am proud of you, you know... I know I don't often say it... and I've not done much to show it recently..."
"Mum it doesn't matter now..."
"Yes it does," Frankie insisted. "I should have been behind you from the start... not trying to force my views onto the situation... but I am so proud of you..." Frankie turned to look at John Paul, the man she had once blamed for all the problems in her son's life. "I'm proud of both of you..."
John Paul's cheeks flushed for a moment under Frankie's praise. "Thank you," he said quietly. "That means a lot."
"That little lad's lucky to have you both," Myra said, her eyes moist with emotion. "I know you'll be the best parents he could hope for."
"You should adopt him!" Frankie's suggestion came from nowhere and three pairs of eyes turned to stare at her in surprise.
"We... we couldn't..." Craig stammered. "Could we?"
"Look at you two, how can anyone ask for more?" Frankie smiled, wiping her tears with shaking hands. "It would be what Debbie would have wanted, she was desperate for you two to adopt, and that little boy has lost a mother… give him two dads. Properly."
"I think she's right…" Myra smiled, placing her hand on Frankie's arm, her eyes reflecting the understanding that only a mother who had lost a child could.
"Look at him," Frankie nodded towards the sleeping child. "Doesn't he deserve a happy ending?"
"Don't you all?" Myra said as the two men turned to look at each other.
"Could we?" Craig asked quietly, almost afraid to imagine it might be possible.
"I don't know," John Paul replied, "I don't... I mean... maybe... we could find out..."
"Do you want to try?"
"Yeah... yeah I do!"
"Really?"
"Yeah... yeah let's go for it Craig!"
"You know what might help?" Craig said, his smile so bright and so wide it almost hurt.
"What?"
"Well I'm sure some time ago you agreed to marry me!"
"You know what I think maybe I did..."
"So what do you say McQueen? You finally gonna make an honest man of me?"
Slipping one hand behind Craig's head John Paul pulled his lover close, their lips meeting tenderly with the sleeping form of the small child held gently between them, sealing their commitment and their love.
Craig yawned with weary happiness as he bid farewell to the guests, thanking them for coming and for the many gifts they had bestowed on Joshua. It had been a perfect day, even more perfect than he had dared dream, but he was ready for all the visitors to be gone now, to be alone with John Paul and Joshua, his family.
Kissing his mother's cheek John Paul said his farewell to Myra, promising he would call more often and yes he would send her copies of the baptism photographs.
"Bye mum," Craig said as Frankie squeezed him tightly. "And thanks."
"I meant it Craig," Frankie said, gripping her son's face between her hands and kissing his face firmly. "I am very proud of you... and Debbie would be too."
"Thank you Frankie," John Paul said, exchanging a slightly awkward embrace with his soon to be mother in law.
"You look after those two," Frankie instructed, smiling in the knowledge that John Paul would do just that.
When the door finally closed both men let out a sigh of relief.
"I thought they'd never go!" Craig said, slumping down into the sofa and watching as Kai padded across the middle of the room, his tail swishing behind him in annoyance at having been refused admittance to the room all day.
"You loved every minute of it," John Paul teased, taking his place beside Craig just before Kai claimed the seat.
"It was a good day," Craig said, one hand curling into John Paul's as the other fell down to tickle the affronted cat's ears. "But I'm knackered now... and we still need to get Joshua bathed and into his pyjamas."
"He'll be OK for another ten minutes," John Paul yawned, fighting the urge to close his eyes as exhaustion clawed at him.
Almost as if the sound of his name prompted it Joshua began to stir in his carry cot, grumbling and threatening to cry at any moment.
"Or maybe not," John Paul laughed dragging himself to his feet without even pausing to think, seeing to the child's need had become automatic, instinctive, the actions of a real father.
"What's that about then?" John Paul asked, scooping the baby into his arms and rocking him gently. "Is Joshua ready for his bath time?"
Joshua gurgled at John Paul's attentions, his eyes bright and alert, flicking between the two men as Craig moved to stand beside them.
Despite his young age and despite knowing it was impossible both men would later swear that the next sound that Joshua made, the gurgle that came from his lips was too much like a word for it to be anything else.
Smiling at each other Joshua's guardians, his daddy's, looked at each other in silent agreement at what they had heard.
"K...i..."
The sun shone brightly in an almost perfectly clear blue sky, a scattering of soft white cotton wool clouds enhancing rather than marring the sky's perfection while the heat of the sun was diluted into a comfortable warmth by a cooling gentle breeze.
The two men walked barefoot across the golden beach, their toes sinking into the soft sand to savour the coolness beneath, their faces were partially hidden behind dark glasses to keep the glare of the sun out of their eyes and there was a contented silence between them as they headed back towards their hotel.
Between the men walked, or rather toddled, a small child. Like the adults he wore dark glasses but also a pale blue cap rested on his head, its peak angled to keep the sun from his face, despite the fact that his skin had been liberally coated in sunblock; there was no reason to take chances.
The child's arms reached upwards, each hand held gently but firmly by one of the men, as he stamped his feet down in the sand, kicking up small clouds of golden dust making the boy laugh with joy.
"Someone is going to sleep well tonight," Craig said with a smile as he looked down on his nephew.
"Do you mean Joshua or me?" John Paul replied with a laugh. "I don't know about you but I'm shattered... who knew building sandcastles could be so exhausting?"
"John Paul you were the one who didn't want to stop," Craig teased. "It was getting that big we could have moved into the thing!"
John Paul grinned, tilting his head so that his brilliant blue eyes could peer over the top of his sunglasses. "Well I couldn't help it," he confessed. "Joshua was enjoying it too much."
"I don't think it was just Joshua was it?"
"Maybe not! But I didn't hear you complaining either."
"Ah what's to complain about?" Craig asked, taking a deep breath of the fresh sea air. "Apart from the fact that we can't stay here forever that is!"
"Look!" Joshua said excitedly, pulling his hands away from his guardians and running forward a few paces to grasp hold of a large horn shaped shell, holding it up high for the men to inspect, the sun shimmering against its pearlescent surface. "Mine!"
Craig smiled gently as he knelt down to examine the shell, ensuring that it was not occupied before handing it back to the child. "It's very lovely."
"It's mine?" Joshua asked quizzically, his eyes hopeful behind the dark brown lens of his glasses.
"Yes Joshua it's yours," Craig confirmed, kissing the boy softly on the cheek before getting to his feet.
It hadn't been all that long ago Joshua had gone through a phase of claiming everything as his own, leading to some upset when that began to include the toys of the other children at nursery. It was gratifying to see that finally the child had understood that not everything he picked up instantly became the property of Joshua Dean. It had been a hard lesson to learn but Joshua seemed to grasp the concept when John Paul had picked up the child's favourite teddy, a large Peter Rabbit wearing a bright blue jacket with brass buttons, and claimed it as his own.
Joshua's eyes had filled with tears at the loss of his favourite toy, filling John Paul with guilt as he held the rabbit in his arms.
"That's mine," Joshua had sniffled, reaching out his arms imploringly.
"And that little train was Timothy's wasn't it?" John Paul has said calmly, causing Joshua to nod his head. "How do you think he felt when you took it off him?"
"I don't know..."
"Do you think he was sad?"
"Maybe..."
"Are you sad now that I've taken Peter?"
Joshua blinked slowly; his long lashes damp with the tears that tumbled over his cheeks as he nodded once more.
"Here you go," John Paul had said as he handed the rabbit back, ruffling the boy's hair affectionately. "It's not nice to make other people sad by taking their things... next time you want to play with someone else's toy you should ask if they mind OK?"
"OK," Joshua's arms were clamped tightly around the rabbit, holding it firmly against his chest and burying his face into its soft fluffy fur.
"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Joshua, happy birthday to you!"
Joshua's face shone from the illumination of the four candles that stood atop his birthday cake, taking a deep breath he blew them out to the sounds of cheers and applause from the guests at his party.
Beaming widely Frankie removed the candles from the cake and began to cut it into small slices for her grandson and his friends, the children gathering around her with their paper plates held high, desperate for the sweet treat.
Leaning back against the living room wall Craig sighed for a moment, a hint of melancholy creeping into his chest.
"Everything OK?" John Paul asked, appearing at Craig's side as if by magic.
"I was just thinking about Debbie," Craig sighed, "She's missed so much... she should have got to do all this for him... holidays, birthdays, christmas..."
"I know," John Paul replied, his arm resting around Craig's shoulders, their heads leaning into each other as they watched the child's party played out before them. Six young boys ran through the centre of the room, the air filled with their laughter as Frankie and two of the boy's mother's called out for them to be careful.
From a gap in doorway two small feline eyes watched the party. Kai had been ushered out into the garden at the arrival of the guests and, seeing the collection of small boys he had no complaint, it had taken long enough for Joshua to learn that pulling Kai's tail was not a nice thing to do.
The one little boy Kai had begrudgingly learned to accept, and even like when Joshua tickled behind his ears, but the cat had no interest in a roomful of them. Arching his back in a stretch Kai decided to leave the human's to it, he would come back when the house was quiet again.
Joshua came to a halt before the two men who were the only parents he had ever known. His skin was a deep olive, similar to that of his uncles, currently a shade or two darker than usual having only been back from their holiday for a week. His hair was dark brown bordering on black and was currently in an unruly mess. The thing that most people noticed about him though, the thing that always drew them in, was the child's eyes. Just like Craig they were framed with long dark lashes that fanned out on his cheeks as he slept, but unlike his uncle Joshua's eyes were the brightest blue, making them stand out against the darkness of his complexion.
"Come and play hide and seek!" Joshua insisted, tugging at Craig's shirt and turning his pleading eyes to John Paul.
"We'll come and play in a minute," John Paul promised, his agreement enough to make Joshua smile and run back to join his friends.
Taking hold of Craig's hand John Paul ran his fingers over the simply golden band that he had placed there almost three years earlier, declaring the man as his husband. Smiling Craig brushed his thumb over the ring that encircled John Paul's finger, an identical twin to his own, binding them together in love and family.
"I wish Debbie could have been here for all this too," John Paul said, "But she couldn't... So we'll just have to make sure that Joshua grows up happy and strong for her... and I think we're doing a pretty good job."
"Yeah," Craig agreed, comforted by his husband's words. Joshua would always know that Debbie was his mother, just like he would always know how much he was loved by his two adoptive fathers.
"He's a lovely little boy," the blonde haired mother of one of the children said as she approached the men. John Paul smiled to himself as he realised he only knew the woman as "Dylan's mother" rather than having any idea of her real name.
"We're proud of him," Craig said, his eyes reflecting the pride in his voice.
"I've always wondered though," Dylan's mother continued, "And I hope you don't mind me asking but... well it's hard to tell by looking at him... and I know he has the name Dean... but then you look at his eyes and... I could just never tell which one of you is his real father."
Turning for a moment to look at his husband Craig felt a rush of perfect peace and love. Thanks to a beautiful blonde man and an adorable little boy his life was complete. It would have been easy enough to explain about Debbie and the adoption, telling Dylan's mother that technically neither man was Joshua's father but at that moment Craig realised that wouldn't have been the truth.
Holding John Paul's hand tightly Craig smiled as he answered honestly. "We both are!"
Without waiting for the woman's response Joshua's fathers crossed the room to their son, John Paul scooping the boy into his arms and spinning him around to Joshua's squeals of delight. When they finally came to a stop Craig wrapped his arms around the man and boy, kissing them both over and over on the cheeks, holding his family close.
Karma, fate or the universes cruel sense of humour, who knew? But when it all came together John Paul and Craig knew it was how it was meant to be.
