Jo leaned against frame of the open balcony doors in Mac's apartment and stared out at the collage of windows across the way. Families were settling down for dinner in some of the dwellings, students struggled with homework in others, and in one she saw a young woman sitting alone, drinking a glass of wine, the repetitive movements of her hand brushing a tissue against her cheeks evidence that she was crying. Was she watching a sad movie, Jo wondered? Or had someone torn away a piece of her heart and she was now trying to find some way to grieve the loss?

"You ready?"

Mac's hand made its way to her shoulder as his voice reached her ear. She wasn't, really. The idea of food was wholly unappealing. But Mac had done the math and figured out how long it had been since she'd likely eaten anything, and she'd watched worry for her add to the exhaustion he was already carrying as they drove away from the precinct. So when he'd suggested picking up soup at the deli where they ate at least three times a week, she had agreed.

Jo turned and saw he'd set up their meal on the large ottoman in the elevated loft area of his place, the dark leather wingchairs that screamed "Mac Taylor" set on either side. She gave him a small smile and walked to the seat where a steaming bowl of chicken and wild rice soup waited for her; Mac's potato chowder sat in front of the other chair.

"Your mom and Ellie okay?"

"Yeah," she answered as she sank down. "Ellie sent Brianna home for a while. She said she wants some alone time with her grandma, so they're ordering in and watching a movie."

Mac nodded and went to work on his soup, and Jo picked up her spoon and willed herself to take a bite of her own. If she could get one bite down, she figured, she could do more than one. And if she didn't want Mac to start waiting for her to collapse, then she needed him to see she was still eating and taking care of herself.

The chicken and wild rice soup had quickly become a favorite of hers following her start at the lab, and one day when she'd had such a sore throat she could barely talk, Mac had surprised her with a big to-go bowl of it, a cup of hot tea, and an order to take a break and relax a little. The memory of that day, of how nice it felt to have someone look out for her, filled her with a warmth that mirrored the heat of the soup and helped Jo to make a steady effort to give her body some necessary sustenance.

They ate to the backdrop of the city noise floating through the open balcony doors, Mac not forcing any chatter. And when she'd made it through two-thirds of her soup, Jo sat down her spoon and leaned back in the chair, her eyes drifting shut as the comfort of Mac's home let her relax and breathe deeply for the first time all day.

She must have drifted off at some point, because the next thing she knew, Mac was closing the doors against the chill that was settling in over the darkening skyline. She looked down and saw that their dishes were cleared, and as she blinked and leaned forward, trying to get her bearings, Mac slipped down on to the ottoman and took hold of her hands.

"You were only asleep about forty-five minutes or so. I figured I'd just let you rest while I cleaned up."

Jo nodded and squeezed his right hand, and then she thought about the look she'd seen on his face earlier in the car, the weariness that was almost a trademark of legendary detective Mac Taylor deeper and more palpable than she could ever remember seeing it before.

"Are you okay?" she asked, her left hand reaching up to touch down against his cheek. "And don't just dismiss it. I get to worry about you, too."

He smiled, a slight chuckle rumbling out of his chest. His free hand reached up and took hold of the fingers that rested on his skin, and he pulled her hand in his until they lay entwined against his chest.

"I've hated suspects before. I've wanted to hurt them back. But this..."

Mac sighed and let his eyes fall, and she fought the urge to break the connections between their hands to caress his face and try to bring his gaze back to hers.

"I wanted him to pay for making you live with this. I wanted to hurt him for putting that picture in your head. And I..."

He stopped again, his voice taking on a deeper tone than usual, the natural gravelly quality sharper and more distinct. And then his head inched up, and Jo could see there not just the hurt Mac carried for her but the pain this case had let loose in him again after being held at bay for so long.

"I thought it would help more... that this time, I could do something. I could find the bad guy and put him away. But... it's still too late. The damage is done and I can't do anything to erase it."

Jo slipped from the chair, her weight dropping onto her knees as she pulled her hands free from Mac's solely to wrap her arms around him.

"I think the worst part for him was that he felt powerless. He couldn't do anything but try to survive it, but nothing could erase it or take away any of the pain he felt... that anyone felt. And you know Mac... you can imagine the toll that took on him."

It had been a rare moment of confession from Flack as they'd shared a late dinner one night. Mac had begged off the invitation to join them, wanting to personally be the one to go and talk to their victim's family and let them know what they'd found in the case... a father of three who'd been gunned down in a robbery at the subway.

As the conversation played back in her head, Jo tightened her hold on the man who had gone from stranger to treasured friend to an undefined something more in the space of a calendar year. She felt Mac's arms encircling her, drawing her even closer to him, and Jo swallowed against the tightness in her throat wishing she could think of some magical combination of words to tell him how much he had done to mitigate the damage, to make it possible that there was even a thought in her head that it was possible she could someday leave the overwhelming grief she felt for Tyler in the past because the man who'd taken his life had been brought to justice.

But she wasn't sure how to put thought to language to make him understand that, not when she could see how shaken Mac was by everything they'd been through, not just today but since that first moment in the warehouse when he'd run to her side. What Jo did know completely as they sat there together, holding on to each other for fear that they'd fall down without the support, was that in spite of all the awful, difficult days that remained in front of them, even though it was clear that Mac was right and that so much of what needed to be said between them did have to wait, one thing couldn't go unspoken for another moment.

She leaned back from him only enough so that their faces were separated by a nearly transparent space, her hands moving to his cheeks so that she could make sure he saw her as he heard her speak.

"Do you have any idea how much I love you?"

The idea of Mac Taylor crying was so foreign to her, to her image of him, that Jo felt herself gasp at the sight of the twin tracks of moisture on his cheeks.

"You and Ellie... you're all the hope I have in the world right now, Mac. And I need you to know that. Do you... know that?"

She felt his hands move to her face, their foreheads touching. His eyes were closed now against the emotion that was overtaking them both, and she was about to say it again because suddenly nothing seemed more important than for Mac to understand this one fundamental thing before they took another step together through what came next. Then he lifted his head and opened his eyes.

"I know it," he whispered, and she felt her breath release the tight chamber of her chest. Then he repeated the words and pulled her back into him, and Jo went, burying her face in his chest as his arms tightened around her.

She didn't know how much time passed between that moment and the feeling of him standing up, drawing her with him. But Jo did know that there was something renewed in Mac as he lifted them up, a steel returned to him that she knew she and all their friends depended on because it had never let them down.

He had never let them down.

"I love you back."

The words reached her as he whispered them in her ear, and then she felt the press of his lips against the side of her head. And the tenderness of the gesture, the sweetness of the words somehow shifted the dynamic between them once more, the strength of his hold on her a signal that it was okay again for her to be the one in need.

Their physical position shifted, too, Mac turning them so that he could sink down into the chair she'd been in most of the night. His hands brought her with him, drawing her into his lap, and when he was sure she had surrendered, he wrapped his arms around her.

Jo rested her cheek against his shoulder, one arm draped behind his neck, her other hand sitting against his chest. She felt a slight pressure against her forehead as Mac dropped another kiss near her hairline.

"We'll have a chance to be happy, Jo. I know we will. We just have to hang on to each other, okay? Till we get to the other side of this... and then we'll have our chance."

She nodded against him, and let her eyes fall shut as the rhythm of Mac's breathing and the feel of his arms keeping her locked with his body invited her to once again take a deep inhale and let herself relax into the safety and comfort of his home... of him. And Mac's promise followed Jo into sleep.


It was a beautiful day, which seemed almost cruel given that it was the day Tyler Josephson's body would be released for burial, the beginning of the official process of ritual and ceremony that went along with death.

Mac let his eyes drift from the window to where Jo still lay asleep in his bed, and he shook his head, knowing that wishing it away wouldn't help. The day was here, the rest was coming, and all he could do was stand by her.

He'd held her for hours last night as moonlight took over the apartment, the intensity of their conversation having kept him from ever turning on the lights he'd meant to reach. Only when he was sure that moving her wouldn't wake her had he stood and carried Jo to his room.

He'd made quick work of phoning her mother, late as it was, to let Paulette know they weren't coming back to the apartment that night. He also let her know the details of the conversation he'd had with Don after Jo had gone out to the car, and then Paulette had assured him she and Ellie were fine and that they should take all the time they needed before they came home.

All the time they needed... he wasn't sure what that would mean, really, how many weeks and months would go by before they were anywhere close to taking a step away from Tyler's loss. But Mac knew that no matter the things he couldn't do, and the weight of them sat heavily on his shoulders, that was just who he was... there were two things only he could do for Jo, and he would do them with everything he had.

He would love her and he would let her love him back.

It was such an overused word, really, people declaring their love for things and people these days the way they changed their clothes. But the four letters spun together still meant something to him that was unique amongst all other feelings. It was a mixture of so many things... not just the head-spinning sensation of infatuation and desire, but of friendship and trust, of vulnerability and strength and a connection that somehow defied all those words to convey its entirety.

And yet even if he couldn't explain it or list its merits, Mac knew in the deepest part of his being that what he and Jo had built was that... the thing that encompassed the full definition of that little overused word, and when she'd spoken it to him last night, when he'd said it back, it had somehow empowered him and given him the clarity to know that it was, really, all she needed from him. Everything else swirling in his head about what he should've been able to do or what he wanted to do became only small components of the larger, far more important place he occupied in her life.

And he knew, too, that someday there would be time to dream of the better side of that love... that enormous, astonishing thing they'd built almost without realizing it was happening. He'd promised her that and whispered his vision of it to her in those precious moments that had just been them, just Mac and Jo finding a way to continue being even if the world had stopped making sense outside of the small pocket of safety they'd created for each other.

Mac stepped away from the window and moved to his closet, grabbing a bag inside. He quietly folded in clothes and then took that and the garment bag he'd already packed with a few of his suits out to the living room. When he was finished, he returned to his room and settled back down on the bed. Jo stirred but didn't wake, and his arm snaked out, his hand coming to rest in the curve of her waist as she lay on her side facing him.

"You and Ellie... you're all the hope I have in the world right now, Mac."

All he'd been able to see since they'd found Tyler's body was how life changed in the most awful ways in an instant. The tragedy that had befallen Jo's family had ripped open the scar of his own loss, though he'd have denied it if anyone asked him simply because that was who he was, how his mind worked. He'd had his chance to mourn, to rebuild; this time, it wasn't about him.

But it turned out that it was, he realized, by virtue of the thing he'd remembered last night as Jo had pleaded with him to hear her declaration. Life changed in the most amazing ways in an instant, too. And even if he hadn't realized it, if it had taken him months to even suspect, his life had begun to change the moment he'd heard her voice ring out with a "hi" from the elevated walkway of the crime lab and his eyes had followed the sound to find his new partner standing there.

He had learned to hope again on his own in the years after Claire... the patient support of his friends and colleagues pushing him along when he'd felt barely able to move forward. But Mac knew that the effort hadn't been truly fulfilled until Jo had opened up a door he didn't even know was sealed off, the one that had kept even Peyton somehow just far enough away from him that he could be hurt but not torn apart by her loss.

That was all gone now, and the pain he felt for Jo told him that there was no going back. If he ever lost her, it would destroy him. But Mac knew he was willing to fight anything that tried to take her from him, even this terrible darkness that was trying to settle over their lives.

"That's a serious face."

Mac felt himself come back to the room, back to the bed and the woman lying beside him, and he smiled. She had slept through the night, no bad dreams, nothing startling her from her sleep.

"More serious than usual?" he asked, and she smiled slightly.

"Little bit."

"Probably 'cause there's something I need to tell you."

Jo sighed and rolled onto her back, then she pulled herself up to a seated position and looked back over at him.

"Tell."

"Remember yesterday when I said I had to talk to Don before we left the precinct?"

She nodded.

"I knew he and the team wanted to spend some time with you, and now that the case is closed... he was gonna call everyone and have them meet up at your place today. Is that gonna be okay with you?"

She reached over, her hand drawing down his face quickly before she pulled her fingers through her hair.

"It sounds so silly, but I... I miss them. Isn't that crazy?"

"I promise I won't tell anyone you said that."

Jo laughed and then glanced over at the clock on his bedside table.

"We should probably get back. I don't want Ellie to start to worry."

Mac nodded and stood, motioning toward the bathroom door.

"Clean towels are out if you want to wash your face or anything. And I've got some coffee brewing for the road."

She stood and nodded, pulling her sweater around herself even though it wasn't cold in the room. Then he saw her start toward him, and Mac stopped his movement to the door and opened his arms as she pressed into his body.

"Someday, right?"

He hugged her close and let her feel his confidence as he answered.

"Guaranteed."

Twenty minutes later, they were in the truck headed back to Jo's apartment, his things in the backseat. There was no point in pretending he would be anywhere she wasn't in the next few days. He'd already alerted the chief and told him the time off was nonnegotiable. That's when he'd found out that not only was his request approved, it had been anticipated. Crime labs from all over the Eastern Seaboard had called and offered staffers on loan to help cover the time common sense said their team would need to deal with what had happened. It was an amazing show of support, and though not the first time he'd experienced it given the outpouring of manpower and supplies the NYPD had been gifted with in the days after 9/11, it was no less impressive when he realized how well-respected their lab truly was, that so many strangers would reach out to them when only their little corner had been wounded.

When he saw that there were still reporters staked out on Jo's street, though kept well away from the entrance by the uniformed officers who were volunteering their time to do what they could to help, Mac turned the Avalanche and guided it to the back of the building and the entrance to the parking garage. When he pulled into one of the security officer spots, Jo gave him a look and Mac shrugged.

"Doorman told me to feel free for a while, till parking on the street gets back to normal."

It was the kind of thing that, days earlier, she'd have teased him about. But the fact that it drew out her smile just a little even now eased Mac's mind as they headed to the elevators and made their way up to the apartment.

Voices met them before they reached the door, and Mac knew at least some of the team must have already made their way over. Jo fished her keys from her purse and let them in, and they were welcomed by the sound of Lucy giggling as Ellie chased her toward the hallway.

"Mom."

Ellie stopped and moved into Jo, and Mac closed the door as the Danville girls shared a tight embrace.

"How's my girl today?"

"Okay," Ellie answered, her shoulders moving in a shrug. "How are you?"

"Okay, too," Jo said, and then she hugged her daughter one more time.

"Ellie!"

Lucy's singsong voice rang out from down the hallway, interrupting the moment, and Mac stepped behind Jo to get a better view. The little girl was leaning against the wall, arms crossed, her patience clearly waning as she waited for their game to continue.

"Looks like you're being paged," he said, and Ellie laughed.

"She really likes being chased."

"Then you better get to it," Jo admonished, and they both watched as the teenager raced off to give Lucy a little more of her attention.

"Hey there," Danny said as he stepped forward, an apology emblazoned on his face.

"She's a little wound up this morning. Chocolate milk, but I didn't think saying no to your mom was really an option."

Jo laughed and hugged Danny, patting him on the back.

"Not unless you're her stubborn daughter, it's not."

Mac glanced into the living room and saw that Sid and Adam were engaged in conversation. They both stood, though, as Jo moved toward them and as she settled into a talk with them about their debate on a psychology question, Mac wandered back to the kitchen. That's where he realized they had almost a full complement of team members; Sheldon was busy helping Paulette set up trays of breakfast food and coffee while Lindsay did her best to get in the way.

"You didn't tell me Dr. Hawkes was good in the kitchen, Detective Taylor." Paulette raised a teasing eyebrow at him before she went on. "I might have to have him over more often while I'm up here."

"If visiting more often includes more of this coffeecake, then Mrs. Danville, consider me on a routine schedule," Sheldon replied with a wink.

"Can I come, too?" Lindsay asked, her mouth half full with a piece of pilfered bacon. "I promise not to try to help."

They all shared a laugh, and then Mac helped navigate the trays out to the living room. Ellie had gotten Lucy back down the hall and the younger girl was now busy coloring pictures in the corner while Ellie played a handheld video game with Adam. Mac was just about to ask where Flack was when a knock sounded at the door. Jo excused herself from her hellos to Lindsay and Sheldon and moved to answer it.

"Did someone here order a copy of this weekend's Alabama game?"

"What?" Jo asked, eyeing the DVD in his hand. "How'd you get that?"

"Friend of mine works over at Sports TV. I figured a game was the furthest thing from your mind this weekend, but for a distraction today... well, when I told him it was for two of the prettiest football fans he'd ever meet, he couldn't say no."

Sheldon walked up then and snatched the DVD out of Flack's hand, leaning on his fellow detective's shoulder.

"We figured, watch the game, have some good food, and you know, we could just be here... for as long as you want us."

Jo smiled and walked between them both, one arm around each.

"Better be careful. That could be an awfully long time."

Mac watched his colleagues fight off the sweet-natured embarrassment the men at the lab routinely wore after a comment from Jo, and then Ellie offered to show them where the DVD player was and the whole contingent of off-duty officers and loved ones started to settle down for breakfast and the game.

When he moved behind Jo and let his hands fall at her waist on both sides, she leaned back against him, her eyes never leaving the motley crew assembled just a few feet away.

"How did you know this was exactly what I needed?' she asked, and he let his chin rest on her shoulder, his voice low and meant only for her.

"Because I love you back, remember?"

She turned into him, her arms going around his body as Jo let her head rest against his shoulder.

"I'll never forget."

And then he felt her move away from him and watched as she made her way to the protective circle of their friends and family as they all tried to steal one more little bit of time together before they gathered to say good-bye to the one person who wasn't there.