Massive apologies for the great delay. All I have to offer you is sorry and this new chapter!

...

Lil likes the feeling of the air rushing around her as she rides on the back of Tommy's bike. She's never felt freedom like it. Similarly Tommy's not hating the feel of Lil's arms around his waist, gripping tighter with every corner he takes.

They're streets ahead of Chuckie, Kimi and Phil who took the car, with only the dark night and the moon for company. Tommy keeps turning his head back as though to check that she's still there or that she's okay, or something. He doesn't really know. But he knows he's worried to death about her. They're not exactly friends anymore, and they were never quite family, but they're something. Something that matters. Something that means that he will always, always, care about her, despite the distance or the silence.

He's not convinced by the story she's telling everyone either; that she fell in her heels and hurt her wrist. Something had to have happened, or someone to make her cry so hard. He's known Lil for, well, his entire life. And yet he's barely ever seen her shed a single tear. Even when they were kids she'd dust herself down and carry on playing; desperate not to give her brother a reason to laugh or jest in her direction. She didn't change much as they grew up; she was fearless. Seeing her cry is one of the scariest things Tommy can remember.

Lil feels better somehow, despite the nightmare that's been her evening. Being around Tommy, Kimi and Chuckie makes her feel almost a world away or a lifetime away from what happened. She's crying again, on the back of Tommy's bike, but for a different reason now. She's overwhelmed that her old friends are driving through the night for her. She's not sure that the girls she calls her best friends would do this for her. Hugging herself closer to Tommy, she takes in his scent almost but not completely by accident. He smells just as she remembers; all boyish charm and rebellion.

She cries for the remainder of the journey, thinking that she doesn't deserve this kindness. She's a bitch. She knows she is, and yet she's never so much as tried to change the fact. She only watches and even joins in with the jeers, creating misery amongst her classmates. She doesn't know why. It's not as though she can claim that she wanted to fit in, because she was never a loner; she always had a place, right here with the 'rugrats'.

Tommy rolls the bike to a stop outside the hospital and Lil steps from the bike in as graceful a motion as she can manage with her injured wrist and furiously wipes her tears away. Tommy studies her carefully as he helps her off with her helmet and sets it on the seat of the bike. Her hair flies a litte in the wind, like a silk curtain falling softly around her shoulders and she shivers in the cold.

"You okay?" Tommy asks, his eyes looking over her fragile form darkly.

Lil looks to the floor and shrugs, "No, not really."

"You know," Tommy hesitates a second and then rolls his shoulders, "I was always pretty good at keeping secrets. If you want to talk about it,"

Lil frowns a little through a smile, remembering how she used to reserve all of her deepest thoughts and secrets solely for Tommy's ear. He's right, he is a good secret keeper. But that was a long time ago and her problems are a hell of a lot bigger than replacing Phil's dead turtle now.

She's saved from answering by a pair of headlights belonging to Chuckie's truck that settle to a stop beside them.

Phil jumps from the cab and scowls, "Finster, you drive slower than my grandmother."

"Phillip." Lil says curtly.

The rest of the group push back smiles, it feels strangely nostalgic to hear Phil and Lil sniping at one another.

"Let's go inside." Kimi says and slips her arm through Lil's, leading them towards the ER.

The boys follow on solemnly and the nostalgia falls away into worry. Unsurprisingly in their little town, the hospital isn't too busy at this time of the morning. They take a seat in the small waiting room and Phil notes down all of his sister's details, not having to ask a single question out loud to her. Chuck makes an attempt at small talk which falls mainly on deaf ears and Lil leans her head on Tommy's shoulder, almost unaware of the action.

"Lillian DeVille?" A nurse calls, causing Lil to jump in her seat. The nurse smiles kindly and indicates for Lil to follow her.

Phil stands to go with his sister but she pushes him away with a look, "I want Kimi there."

He throws his arms out a little in protest; sure he and Lil haven't been close recently but she's not even friends with Kimi. "Lil, if this is about-,"

"It's not." Lil assures quickly, "I just need a girlfriend."

He sighs heavily and then falls back in his seat heavily, throwing dark looks at Tommy and Chuckie even though they haven't done anything wrong. It's Chance that's done something. He just doesn't know what.

Lil lies back on the bed and squeezes her eyes shut. Her hand's around Kimi's and she's holding a vice-like grip that's making the darker haired girl squirm. Her wrist was a simple fracture, they put her in a cast and gave her a list of things she shouldn't do for a while. Lil practically slept through that part of the consultation.

This part though. It's like fresh hell.

It was coaxed out of her by a bitch of a nurse that she had sex tonight. Kimi gasped at the admission and Lil had faded away into a blush. They had then bullied her into admitting that they hadn't used any protection and now they were testing her. Every touch hurt, every touch was a reminder, a flashback, a torture.

She's been crying since it began and squeezing Kimi's hand so tight she probably can't feel it anymore.

The nurse is talking at her but she can't hear her, or she's choosing not to. Lil's not sure she knows. She's sure she doesn't care though. She wants to leave, she wants to run. Or ride on the back of Tommy's bike. She wants freedom.

"Lil! Lil?" Kimi waves her hand in front of her face, her face full of worry.

"What?" Lil snaps but without any real force behind it.

Kimi swallows, "Did he…did he rape you?"

"Are we done?" Lil asks, realising the nurse is now fussing with swabs and little plastic bags. "Can I go now?"

The nurse turns and purses her lips, "Lillian, if you were taken advantage of it's important that you tell someone. We can't help any girls without them letting us. We can't stop these men from acting again, do you understand?"

"Jeez, I'll use a condom next time!" Lil snapped, forcing her best bitch to return. "Can I freaking go now?"

"If you wait any longer it may be extremely difficult to make a conviction." The nurse tells her, "Maybe if I call your parents down here we can have a better talk?"

Lil snaps her eyes up at the woman, realising that she has to convince her that nothing happened or else Betty DeVille will be down here screaming bloody murder.

She bites down on her lower lip and looks up at the nurse with her most innocent look. She uses it to get out of detention all the time. "It was my first time. I didn't know it was going to hurt so much. He didn't know it was hurting me though, I never said. I just, I thought I was supposed to enjoy it, I didn't want him to think I was weird. It was real stupid not to use protection, I know that. I'll talk to him, tell him I think we should wait next time."

The nurse narrows her eyes but sighs through her nostrils eventually, "I'm still going to give you some pamphlets on sexual health, for when you're ready. It's very important okay? You need to look after yourself."

Lil nods readily, "Thank you, M'am."

With a slightly frustrated nod, the nurse leaves, most likely to tend to a patient who appreciates her help. Lil turns to Kimi and sees that she doesn't look nearly convinced.

"Look, Kimi," She smiles softly to her, "Thanks for this. Really. You didn't have to come but you did. Thanks."

"Lil, what really happened?" Kimi asks.

Lil shrugs, "It hurt, okay? It's kind of embarrassing, I don't want to talk about it. I was just trying to get home, after, you know and then I tripped and my wrist..I really want to go home now."

She throws in a yawn for good measure and Kimi sets her lips.

"Just, um," Lily realises Kimi owes her nothing but she has one last favour, "Could you not say anything to Phil, about what happened in here? I don't want him doing anything dumb."

"Lil,"

"Please, Kimi." Lily flushes pink, "And, you know, maybe at school we could have lunch together or something?"

Lil knows how the school hierarchy works, she's Queen Bee. If she sits with Kimi people might lay off her slightly. Surely Kimi wants that.

Kimi though looks wounded, "I'm not here because I want a boost in popularity, Lil. I'm here because I'm the only person you felt you could go to tonight. Think about that."

She saunters away, and Lil can only hope she doesn't say anything. Lil sits and brushes a tear away, she doesn't speak again until she's finally discharged by the nurse and back in the waiting room.

The boys are spread out along a row of chairs, looking the mismatch they always did and Kimi stood with her arms folded rigidly.

Tommy stands first and hits her with a look of worry that almost ignites some warmth inside of her, "Are you okay?"

"Sure I am." She nods, "You mind taking me home?"

They're outside her house, the sun's cresting on the horizon and Phil's probably waiting inside furiously but neither of them move from the bike. Tommy's afraid that as soon as the night's over, so will his reconciliation with Lil be. They'll go back to school and she'll return to her ridiculous friends, hiding behind fake smiles and quilted eyes. And he'll only be there to watch as she quite possibly falls apart behind her mask.

He knows something happened tonight, something with that Chance guy. Phil let slip that he was concerned Damien had done something to hurt Lil and now Tommy's convinced.

"Lil," Tommy's voice trails away, he doesn't know what to say to her. He wants to tell her that everything will be okay and that she can tell him anything but his voice dies in his throat.

Her hazel eyes dance over him lightly, "Don't, Tommy. Don't make this something it's not."

"I'm worried about you." He admits, his eyes on his feet.

There's some laughter in her voice as she speaks, "But I'm not yours to worry about am I? I'm the dumb cheerleader and you're the dreamer."

"You're going to put labels between us, Lil?" Tommy asks, feeling a little frustration in his tone. "Something's going on with you and I'm not allowed to care because you're a cheerleader?"

"I never asked you to care!" Lil cries out, wishing she knew how to stop being such a damn bitch to him.

Tommy squints back at her and shakes his head, "Is it so terrifying for you to let someone help you, for once?"

"Yes." She says under her breath. "It is. It is, okay?"

Shaking his head again, Tommy pulls a packet of cigarettes and a lighter from his pocket. Lil watches with reluctant fascination as he clicks down to produce a flame and lights the cigarette. She's never tried smoking before; her Mom is kind of like an army major when it comes to cigarettes and drugs. Tommy takes a long drag and stares out into the night, a tight look on his face. She thinks of apologising, but doesn't, instead she asks for one of his cigarettes.

"You don't smoke." Tommy says in a straight voice.

"Come on, give me one." Lil drawls, nudging his hip slightly. She used to do it when they were kids; he had this dumb little toy screwdriver that he used to keep in his pants for heavens sake and because she knew it was there against his hip she used to knock into him there, to playfully annoy him.

Tommy can't help but grin, he's kind of infatuated with this girl. He pops a cigarette out and she sets it between her perfect lips then leans down towards him. His hand shakes as he lights it for her. She closes her eyes and takes a drag then tries to hide her choking coughs.

He smirks a little, because, hell, she's cute or something and takes her cigarette and stubs it out beneath his boot. "It's a bad habit, you should quit whilst you're ahead."

She scoffs, "Tommy, I have so many bad habits, I've lost count. What's another one going to matter?"

"Because I would have given it to you." Tommy offers and then regrets it instantly.

Lil smiles a little and breaks away in a motion that tells him she's going inside the house and leaving him, "Sometimes I think you were my first bad habit, Tommy Pickles."