Chapter 8!!

I've decided to type chapters up and post them as fast as I can. I'm going to be busy this school year, so hopefully I can get The Berserk Beginning finished before school starts.

Reviewers to thank from chapter 7:

The Sudoku Kid

Disclaimer: I don't own ASOUE!!!

Why is life so unfair to me? That would be sooo awesome!

A Series of Strange Events

Chapter 8:

The Berserk Beginning

Me: Chapter 8...

Snicket: Hey, I'm 8 years old!!

Me: No you're not! You're older!

Snicket: …How do you know that…?

Me: Because I'm psychic, now let me do this chapter!

Snicket: No!!!!! Never!!!

Me: Snicket…

Snicket: No!!!! Never!!!!!!!!!

Me: Oh yeah? Then what do you call me typing Chapter 8 and you not doing anything about?!

Snicket: …I'm going to go get some Milo's Tea…

Me: Ok…ENJOY!!!!

"Gosh, what have you been eating!!" yelled Count Olaf(yes, I gave in…but I'll get him back!).

Klaus then looked pale and said, "NOTHING!!!!IT'S BEEN AT LEAST 2 DAYS, I THINK!! AND WE HAVEN'T EATEN ANYTHING!! Well, Quigley ate a burrito, I think. BUT I HAVEN'T EATEN ANYTHING!!!! FEED MEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!" Ok, he yelled.

"GET THE HECK OFF ME ORPHANS!!" yelled Count Olaf. They got off him.

The others haven't said anything yet. I guess their shocked from that zap of lightning…I could use that again…

"NO!! Please!! Never again!!" Duncan begged.

Whatever.

Isadora gulped and said, "Next time a thunderstorm starts, I'm going to hide under a couch. It does not feel good to be struck by lightning." Then she walked upstairs to a bathroom. She might've had to go throw up. Or maybe she just had to go. I don't know. I don't know anything anymore.

Violet began recovering and said, "Count Olaf. You know why we're here. We're here to watch me marry a hot dude."

Quigley glared at air.

"I thought you were here to save that chimp," said Count Olaf.

"We are," Violet began, "We're also here to see me marry a hot dude."

Olaf got a confused look on his face, then said, "Well you're out of luck! I'm playing the groom!"

Violet went into a state of shock and got stuck in it. Her jaw dropped and she was staring at the air that Quigley glared at.

"YES! No hot dude…now I don't have to beat anyone up…" Quigley said, then he became deeply entertained in watching Klaus and Duncan doing their Shock Off Stare Down. Isadora came back down and started yelling, "WHY ARE YOU IN YOUR HOUSE, COUNT OLAF?!?!?! WHY?!?!? CAN'T YOU LEAVE US ALONE?!?!?" then she started crying and said, "Just give us Sunny back." then she was all happy and said, "At least we get to be in a play! I love plays!"

Klaus looked at her and said to Duncan, "I didn't know your sister was moody…"

Then Duncan said to Quigley, "I didn't know our sister was moody…"

Then Quigley said to Violet, "I didn't know my sister was moody…"

"That's because she's not. 3 letters with an 'ing' at the end," Violet said absent-mindly, still in shock.

I ended up getting really bored, so I punched Klaus, Quigley, and Duncan for no particular reason at all.

Olaf got bored and felt like making people feel sad. So he began walking away while saying, "While you're here, make yourselves useful, before the play starts in a few hours, and complete this list of chores." he threw the list behind him.

Klaus picked it up and read it out loud,

"Ribbon-oholic- do the dishes. ALL of the dishes."

Violet looked into the kitchen and at the dishes. If infinity had a length, that would be how high it was stacked. He continued,

"Read-oholic- clean my room."

"Awwww man!!" Klaus complained. He kept reading,

"Insane Dude-oholic- sit on the couch and do absolutely nothing at all until everyone else is done with their chores."

"WHY DID I GET THE HARDEST CHORE?!?!" Duncan screamed. Klaus went on,

"Poet-oholic- do the invisible chair against the wall until everyone else is done with their chores."

"Aww!" complained Isadora. Klaus put his arm around her to comfort her and kept reading,

"And The Person That I Can't Think Of An Insult-oholic- walk around the house."

"Sweet! I got the easiest chore!" squealed Quigley.

1 hour Later…

"YES FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WE'RE DONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sweet mother of Pearl…" Duncan cried.

"Alright you disgusting orphans, you better be done with your chores!!" Olaf shouted.

The children lined really quick and put their hands to their hands and said, "YES, SIR!!!" FINE!!! They yelled.

"Hmm…only 2 more hours till the show. Wait right here!!" he yelled and left and came back 8 seconds later.

"YOUR CHOERS AREN'T FINISHED!! GO DO THEM!!!!!!!!"

1 hour later…

"OH OLAAAAF!!! WE'RE DONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" shouted Duncan.

Olaf came pounding down the steps from the tower that the orphans knew nothing about until now.

Hm. Its quite sad, really. No.

"Hey, what's up there?!," asked Klaus.

"That is the tower. Which you are never to enter." Olaf said very dramatically. He closed up on Klaus's face, "Under any circumstances."

"WOO, DEAR GOD YOUR BREATH STINKS!!" Klaus yelled and slapped him.

Olaf was knocked down. Everyone cheered.

"YAAAAY!!"

He got back up.

"BOOOO!!"

Olaf got reaaaallllly mad. He turned a deep red and smoke started coming out of his ears, his fingernails turned white, an-

"Shut up and put what happened already!!" yelled Duncan.

"GO TO HAIR, MAKE-UP AND COSTUMES!!!!" he yelled and pointed to the backyard.

"Not until you tell us where Sunny is," Isadora said.

"I'll tell you, when you go to HAIR, MAKE-UP, AND COSTUMES!!!!"

The orphans ran out the backdoor.

1 hour later, just before show time…

The orphans met below a hole in the ceiling backstage.

"I don't like being a cheerleader uniform. It feels weird." Quigley said. Olaf's henchmen weren't very nice and made him put on a skirt.

Klaus smiled and pointed, " It makes you look-"

"DUDE I KNOW!!!!!"

Klaus backed down.

Olaf walked over to them. "How are you horrible orphans? Wait- I don't care."

"Alright Olaf, tell us where Sunny is." Isadora ordered.

Olaf pointed up.

"In your finger?" asked Quigley.

"DON'T WORRY SUNNY!! I'LL SAVE YOU!!" Duncan yelled and began pulling at Olaf's finger.

"Your monkey is not in my finger!! Look up!!" Olaf yelled.

They looked up and saw Sunny in a bird cage, and gasped.

Olaf turned around and began walking away, "By the way, the play is real. Violet, we're getting married which means I'm getting your fortune. Don't try anything clever. I'll just tell one of my henchman up there to drop her to her DOOM!! Blah, blah, blah. Threat, threat, threat. Goodbye!! Olaf walked onto the stage.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW I'M MARRYING COUNT OLAF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FOR REAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THAT'S EVEN WORSE!!!!!!!! CAN'T I MARRY JOHNNY DEPP OR SOMETHING?!?!?!"

"Seriously dude, that's just nasty. You marrin' Olaf and all." said Duncan.

"I don't want Olaf to be my brother in law!!!!!………………….......That's stupid!!!!" Klaus complained.

"Well if we don't want Olaf to marry Violet, we'll have to get Sunny down, " Quigley said very knowingly. Duncan slapped across the back of his head and said, "Naw, that's a stupid idea…..Hey, if we don't want Olaf to marry Violet, we'll have to get Sunny down!!"

"I said that." said Quigley.

"You sure 'bout that?" asked Duncan. Then he said, "Don't worry peoples, I will save Sunny!!" he stretched out his hand and grabbed air.

"You stupid head," insulted Klaus.

"Hey guys, I have a plan!!" Violet said.

Everyone turned to her and saw her holding an invention that looked like a broken umbrella, a spring, and some red holder thing-a-ma-bob.

"Wow Violet, I never knew you could come up with a plan and an invention without your hair up," Klaus said.

"Actually I did put my hair up. You just didn't see me."

"Nah er!!!"

"Yes I did!!"

"Nah-er!!"

"I so did!!"

"Seriously, stop fighting. Violet tell us the plan," said Isadora.

"Ok, here it is:"…

Did you like it??? Hate it??? Love it??? Don't know yet??? I don't know if I laughed. Can't remember. I'm sick!! :*(

I'm scared I have the flu. EEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

Well this sucks. While I vent on stuff, click on the cute button!! (I'm not forcing you)

;)