Authors Note: Well, that was quicker than I expected. I just had a sudden burst of inspiration and time to write too, can't forget that. As always, I hope you enjoy and please do let me know what you think of the development in this chapter.
Severus stared at her arm, unable to tear his gaze away for the first few moments. His relationship with Lily had been stained and ultimately destroyed because of that one word and now, it had been cut into the skin of Hermione Granger and Severus felt haunted by it. He could only imagine how she would feel, not just physically but emotionally and mentally. Every day she was going to have to live with it marring her skin, fracturing her innocence into a thousand tiny fragments that she would never be able to pull together again. Severus understood the concept of something staining the soul, some physical representation of the past but it wasn't the same. He had voluntarily chosen to enlist himself, to give himself mind, body and soul to an utter madman who at the time had appeared to hold all of the answers he had been looking for. The Dark Mark was a constant reminder of his fatal mistake, the one that had put him on the path to his own demise that he had only been able to avoid through master manipulation and the use of his astounding intelligence and cunning. This was not the same.
"I would have died if Ron hadn't come." Hermione's voice was enough to break Severus out of the unpleasant waking nightmare he had previously been cast into. He somehow felt as though it was his fault, as though he should have protected her from this. He hadn't known and even if he had known, could he have done anything to save her? The answer to that question was obvious, no. He felt an obligation towards her, a brilliant student, but she had ceased to be his student after he had killed Dumbledore and yet he still felt as though he had failed her. Duty had been his life for decades and was a state that he was used to being in.
Severus wanted to apologise but any words of apology would fall flat, she probably wouldn't believe him and he could hardly blame her for that. So, he remained silent, instead rising to his feet and crossing to the cabinet pressed against the east wall of the room.
"Does it still hurt Miss Granger?" He asked, his voice slightly constricted, not enough that she would notice. There was a pause as he pulled a box out of the cabinet and he wondered for a moment if she knew that he wasn't asking about her emotional pain, rather the physical pain of her wound.
"Yes. Every day. The knife was cursed." Hermione's voice was quiet and soft and Severus lifted the lid of the box, reaching in to pull out a small vial. He left the box open on the cabinet and turned, sweeping across the room to kneel at her side. He handed the vial to her and she looked up at him questioningly.
"A pain potion, it will help." He reassured her. She took the vial from him, trusting him in that moment and popped the cork from the top, lifting it to her lips and tipping it down her throat. He kneeled there, looking at her intently.
"May I?" He asked, holding his hand out to her. Hermione hesitated for a moment before holding her injured arm out to him. He took hold of her arm, his grip firm but somehow gentle at the same time. His fingers reached out, thin and spidery, and softly traced the words on her arm. Hermione shuddered slightly, it had been months since anyone had touched her like that, with something that almost bordered on kindness and consideration. She hadn't expected such gentleness from him, from anyone again. That was not the world she lived in any longer. Her world was cast in shadows and shame and she was alone, or so she had originally thought. Perhaps, she was wrong.
"This may never heal Miss Granger." Severus felt the urge rising within him to lie to her to bring her some comfort but he pushed it aside, accepting that although it may make her feel better in the short term, in the long term it would ruin her, stealing what could perhaps be one of the few hopes she still had left. It may seem a kindness on the surface but Severus knew better than anyone, it was cruelty. "You can control the pain with potions." He continued, his brow furrowing slightly in concentration. "I do not believe that this will spread but I would need to perform a further diagnostic, with your permission Miss Granger." Severus continued, looking up at her, his gaze meeting her own. She looked so innocent in that moment, so vulnerable, and it almost took Severus' breath from him.
Hermione shook her head and pulled her arm out of his grasp. He let her and rose to his feet, crossing the room and removing further vials from the box on the cabinet before he closed the lid and slipped it back where it had come from. He held the vials out to her and Hermione rose to her own feet, following after him, her legs moving without any grace, jerking and twitching like a marionette as she crossed the small space to meet him. She took hold of the vials and slipped them into her pocket.
"Not tonight Professor." He hadn't expected her to speak to him. He had expected her to take the vials from him, turn her back and walk away. Part of him wanted her to go, to leave and stop complicating his existence but another part of him, a larger part of him, wanted her to stay. It wasn't that Severus longed for companionship but rather he felt that he needed to do something to help her. She was broken, that much was evident, and Severus knew that she would never begin to properly heal if she was on her own. There was that protectiveness in him borne from years of being a teacher, at least, that was how Severus justified it to himself. If he dug deep into his feelings and his motivations, he would be confronted with a truth that he wanted to deny. This would be his chance perhaps to atone for some of his sins that had led to the death of the one woman who had believed in the better part of him, the one woman who had shown him a touch of kindness that had blossomed into a friendship and love that he mourned the loss of every day.
"Do you have somewhere to stay Miss Granger?" The question crossed his lips before he could stop it and there was a flash of confusion across Hermione's face for just a moment. She took a step back from him, a reflex perhaps, and folded her arms across her chest, slowly shaking her head.
"I've been on the run Professor, that doesn't exactly afford me a comfortable bed." There was a slight bite of sarcasm in her voice and Severus recognised it as though it were a familiar friend to him.
"You may stay here then, for as long as you wish." This time Severus let the words flow from him, the invitation leaping forth with his acceptance. He would not turn her away with nowhere to go to. For all he knew she could have been living in caves for the past several months. The thought crossed his mind to ask her why she was not with Potter but he did not feel that would exactly enamour her to him. He didn't want that per say but he did want her to trust him enough to accept his offer of safety and comfort, at least for a few days before she left. He was curious now as to what she was intending to do, what her next move would be. She was the brightest witch of her age, there had to be some semblance of a plan swirling around that cavernous brain of hers.
The confusion was more evident on her face now and Severus stood there, calmly waiting for her to speak, to move, to do anything. If she was going to rail at him again and try 'kill him with her bare hands' then so be it, he would take it. He did not think it to be likely though, not after her reaction to his memories. She may not completely trust him but she clearly trusted him enough to have taken a vial of potion from him without checking or even questioning what was in it. For all she knew, it would have been a poison or veritaserum, anything.
"I do not expect anything from you Miss Granger, this invitation has no strings attached to it." Severus was attempting to soothe any concerns that she may have.
She glanced down at the floor, her foot scuffing the rug for a moment as she considered his offer. He was not going to rush her or coerce her; he was not that man anymore. At least, he was trying not to be that man anymore. Severus barely knew who he was anymore. He had been playing a part for so long that he had forgotten the truth beneath it all, he had forgotten who he was and he was acutely aware of who he could have been. That, in itself, was practically a form of torture.
Hermione shivered as though someone had crossed her grave and she squeezed her eyes closed, taking a deep, calming breath in, holding it and then exhaling. She looked up at him, uncrossing her arms and tipping her head up slightly, pride and courage in her stance, every inch the Gryffindor she had always been and he hoped always would be.
"I hope I won't be sleeping on the floor." There was a colouring of humour to her words and Severus released a breath that he hadn't even realised he'd been holding.
"I am not a barbarian Miss Granger, there is a spare bedroom, spartan to be sure but not barbaric." Severus gestured to a door on the west wall, one that she hadn't even noticed. Hermione glanced over her shoulder and then looked back to him, her lips twitching upwards into a small smile.
"I can live with spartan, better than a cave floor." Her tone was almost conversational and Severus' eyebrow rose slightly when she mentioned a cave floor. He hadn't thought for a minute that she had actually been living in a cave.
"Have you really been living in a cave?" He asked and Hermione nodded, a small note of amusement escaping her, a slight brightening in her eyes.
Severus was speechless, slowly shaking his head and Hermione allowed a laugh to escape her. Severus hadn't heard laughter for a long time and he welcomed the sound.
