((The word image acquirer is what I believe Yeesha calls the camera in Myst: Revelations.

The chapter heading is the title of a Taylor Swift song. There's a brilliant Loki video with that song out there. Go, look for it.))


8. Look What You Made Me Do

'No. Absolutely not. Stop laughing, Thor, this is not going to happen.'

Thor grinned. 'No. It's not. He's right. Absolutely.'

Pepper had her arms folded. 'Fine. Then help me out. I expect you don't want earth customs. I don't know anything about yours.' The two men before her exchanged a glance. 'I'll start with the question I don't want to ask. Is this a political wedding?'

'Political?' Loki's eyes had flown wide. 'No. It's not. I'm not … whoring myself out to get a higher position.'

Pepper closed her eyes and forced herself not to hit the man. 'No. That wasn't what I suggested.'

Thor had a hand on Loki's, squeezing gently. His tone was light, but his expression had sobered now. 'Asgardian weddings aren't normally a large affair. Not like that horrible thing you showed us.'

'It was a rather typical royal wedding on earth.'

Loki licked his lips. 'Then consider ours a very abnormal one.'

Thor nodded. 'Yes. I don't want any of these people with image acquirers.'

Image acquirers. Sometimes she wondered if Thor did this on purpose. He wasn't stupid, far from it, so the answer was probably yes. 'No reporters. Well, you are interesting people, so best not discuss it with humans. At all. Or you'll have to build an electric fence to keep them out. I would suggest that you ask someone to take pictures, though. For yourselves, not for the people out there that want a show to distract them.'

'We'll also have a rather short guest list. It's usually just family but … ah.' Thor fell silent.

'Thor wants his Avengers there. And a few of our people, too.'

'Can I have a number? An approximation will do.'

'Thirty?'

'That isn't much.'

'It is, actually, by our standards.'

'Weddings aren't a big deal for Asgardians, huh?'

Thor shook his head. 'They're a huge deal. Much bigger than for you people. We just make less noise about them.'

'Can I find you a photographer, or do you have some cultural aversion to having pictures taken?'

Loki's eyes narrowed. 'Do we look like idiots?'

'No. No, but you look like people who want to drive me up the wall.' She made a brief note. 'Fine. I want to know what sort of food you want. I don't care if you want your people to cook for you or if you want a catering. Just tell me. Where are you going to hold the ceremony?'

'Here.'

'Thought so. Who is going to … I mean, how does this work to start with? Is there some sort of minister who will do this?'

Thor buried his face in his hands. 'Thing is, normally, that would be I. I have no idea what the plan for this situation is.'

Loki gave him a lingering look. 'The plan is, in this case, the most important person after you. Our medic. Eir is going to wed us.'

'She is?'

'Yes. Yes, Thor.'

'How do you know?'

'I read. I had a lot of time to read, and I needed to know these things.'

'Yes, if you want to pretend to be the Allfather, that's a brilliant idea.'

'Isn't it, though. Thanks to all that reading I also know I will not spend the next few months in a blizzard.'

Pepper raised a forefinger. 'Stop. Right now. This conversation is taking a very bizarre turn. Why does a blizzard have an impact on your wedding?'

'Not on my wedding but on my child.'

'Your … oh. Oh?'

The smile Loki gave her didn't reach his eyes. 'Ask. I dare you.'

'No.' She adjusted the papers she had in front of her. 'I will talk to Eir, then. About customs. Is that all right with you?'

Thor smiled, too, but with him it seemed less murderous. 'Very.'

'Good! Progress is good. Now food. I want to know about food.'

'Simple,' Loki said. 'And we won't have some odd Midgardian catering.'

'Coffee is great, though. We want coffee.'

'Consider it done. About the rest, do you want me to approach someone?'

'Consult Valkyrie about that,' Thor suggested.

Loki bit his lips. 'We want something that isn't liquid, too, you know.'

'Have a little faith.'

Pepper looked through the little she had managed to wring out of the pair. 'All right. Eir and Valkyrie. Don't bother, I'll find them.' Someone knocked the door. She closed her eyes and counted to ten. 'What now?' she asked then.

The door opened and revealed someone she didn't recognise. 'My apologies. The name is Balder.'

'Pepper Potts. They're all yours, I was done anyway.'

'You are Tony Stark's fiancée. Please remain, this concerns your people as well.' He entered and closed the door. 'I have been receiving reports from Svein Landvik about the ongoing thefts. He's left a few days ago, but …' Balder halted his speech. 'He asked us to help his investigation and I did that myself. I have found a few of the missing items.' He looked at Pepper. 'Not Strange's, but … well, I expect those to be in the same place but better concealed. The things were hidden in the east shack.'

'Impossible.' Loki shook his head. 'After the initial thefts, a few people have brought things to me. Things they wanted protected. You know very well that no-one can enter it except me. No-one without powerful magic of their own.'

'Exactly.'

Loki massaged his temples. 'I'll check if anything is missing from there.'

'I am sorry. You will not. The east shack is now under guard.'

'Whose guard?'

'Heimdall's. I found it best if he makes sure it's secure for the time being.'

Loki blinked at Balder. 'Secure? As in secure from me?'

Thor's expression was hard to read, his tone tired. 'Loki, let him. He's trying to help.'

'You too?' Other than his partner, the God of Mischief looked shaken. 'Do you all think that I'm a common thief?'

'No.' If Thor were human, Pepper would think that he was trying to convince himself more than anyone else. Unless she was much mistaken, her conjecture wouldn't be wrong for an Asgardian, either. 'No. I don't think you're a thief. Balder, what exactly has been found?'

'None of the interesting things. Just heirlooms. A silver goblet, a picture of someone's ancestor, a locket. They were clearly not misplaced but hidden. Badly, but hidden.'

'If I were to hide something, rest assured you wouldn't find it even if were to tap-dance in front of you,' Loki said.

Thor laughed. 'True. Balder, you're barking up the wrong tree. But let Heimdall guard the place, if he wants to.'

The Asgardian nodded. 'I will.'

Pepper watched him go. 'Date. You need a date.'

Loki shrugged. 'Date's a bit of a given. The beginning of winter.'

'You call that day Halloween,' Thor helped out.

'Are you … no, you're not joking. Why?'

'Custom.' A small smile tugged at Loki's lips, but it seemed somewhat understated. 'When the night grows darkest, may you shine a light for us and lead us through to the dawn. Royal Asgardian weddings are always done that night. Many weddings are, actually. You can hardly have a year without someone getting married at that time.'

Pepper managed to smile. 'See? It wasn't so hard to be helpful. Thank you.' She had rarely been happier to be able to leave a conversationl.