Hello everyone! Thank you all for your kind reviews!
Pipi 96: Thank you so much for your review! To answer your question (which did not upset me at all!) first I want to thank you for reviewing that story, "A King's Request." Not many people really read it, and I barely got any reviews. I did get pretty discouraged while writing it, even though I tried to stay positive, as it was a story I enjoyed writing. I don't mind when people are excited about things I write! It's really sweet and flattering. It's just frustrating when all of my reviews are demanding updates and not giving any feedback. Anyway, I hate to abandon that story…but I'm not sure if I will continue. I'll try to get another chapter up some day…I hope.
Beautifulangel: Thanks for all the reviews! You're very sweet and I appreciate them! You should make an account so I can thank you personally
Carlisle tightened his arms around his little girl…his youngest daughter, tucking her head under his chin as she continued to tremble, able to feel her tears soak into his shirt. He wanted to comfort her, to say something that would ease her pain, but he had no idea what he could say. Not when she was under such a ludicrous impression…that she needed to apologize for 'still not being better.' He thought about prompting her, asking her what was wrong…asking her to explain herself, but she took a deep breath and fisted her hand in his shirt. "Charlie was going to send me away." She sobbed. "He called Renee…they wanted to take me to a hospital…he said…" She broke off, crying painfully, the sound ripping at his heart. Rubbing her back, he silently held her, waiting for her to gather herself enough so that she could speak. "He said I might…have to be…committed." She managed to choke out, and he was glad that she couldn't see his face.
'The idiot! How could he let his hurting 18 year old daughter think he was going to have her committed!? Did he think that would fix anything? He only traumatized her!' "I will not send you away, Bella. I promise. Nothing you can do will make me send you away, sweetheart. You are not insane, Bella, despite the fact that you choose to live with a family of vampires." He heard her laugh a little through her tears and smiled. "If at any point I think you need any kind of help, medicine, therapy, it will go through me, and I will be there, as will the rest of us. We won't leave you, Bella. You don't have to pretend to be better." She began crying anew, but her body relaxed and the shaking stopped as she leaned against him fully. Glad that she was finally able to relax without Jasper's help, he pulled her into his lap and held her for a while, leaning back and letting her cry.
A few minutes later, Esme peered in to the room. "Is she okay?" She asked, her worried voice far too low for Bella to hear.
"She's calming down." He told her just as quietly, smiling in relief when Bella took a shuddering breath, her forehead coming to rest on his chest. "Okay, Bella?" He asked softly. The girl nodded, taking another shuddering breath, then forced a smile, looking up at him.
"Thanks." She mumbled a little sheepishly. He leaned forward, pressing his lips against her forehead and letting himself enjoy her warmth for a second. Then pulling away, he carefully placed her back on the sofa and took her hand.
"Bella, Alice told me that you were having trouble with your stomach…that you were getting sick after eating." She nodded, refusing to meet his eyes. "How long has this been going on?" She bit her lip, and one of her hands clutched her leg briefly.
"It started getting bad yesterday. I couldn't eat much for breakfast and I threw up after lunch." Carlisle sighed, rubbing his thumb against the back of her hand.
"Have you eaten today?"
"Yes." She mumbled, but seemed to rethink her answer at his expectant look. "Esme made me breakfast, but I didn't really eat much. Alice tried to buy me food at the mall, but I only hate a few bites." He thought quickly, his mind scrolling through a list of symptoms and cures and medicines, his brain a database that most hospitals would kill for.
"Okay. I checked your blood less than a week ago, so I doubt anything has changed. I think this sickness you are feeling is caused by anxiety. It's fairly common, but I'm afraid there isn't much I can do unless I resort to medicine to control your anxiety…and I'd rather leave that as a last resort. That kind of medication can have unpleasant side effects, and I don't feel comfortable using it at this point. If it is ever necessary, Jasper is able and willing to help you with your emotions." He touched her face, lifting her chin so that she was looking at him. "Instead, I want you to talk." He said quietly.
She opened her mouth, ready to argue, he was sure, or claim that she couldn't, but he stopped her, squeezing her hand again. "Not to me, if you don't want to, although I'm here for you any time you want to talk. You can talk to whoever you want…Esme, Jasper, Edward, Emmett, either of the girls. Any of them would be more than willing to listen. And if you can't talk to them, then write. Journaling is a good way to get your thoughts out in a healthy way. But you can't bury everything like you have been. It's going to make you sick."
"What if I can't?" She asked softly, her fearful tone making him react instinctively, pulling her close again and kissing the top of her head.
"You can." He promised. "And we'll help you for as long as you need it. There's no timeline on this, Bella." Esme walked over from the doorway and sat on the sofa beside her, and Bella turned and put her head in her hands.
"I'm sorry, Mom! I didn't mean to yell at her in class, I'm so sorry!"
"Bella, shh, it's okay." Esme pulled her into her arms and Carlisle moved closer, wrapping his arms around both of them. "I'm not happy that you acted in such a way, Bella, especially in the middle of a classroom. Mostly because I'll have to punish you…it would only cause more trouble if I let that go. But I'm not angry with you, honey. I understand."
Bella began to shake again as she cried and Carlisle pulled back. "What's wrong Bella? Talk to us." He pleaded, not wanting to call Jasper to take her emotions away, but also not wanting her to make herself sick with them.
"You're not mad." She whimpered, keeping her face hidden. "I got in trouble in school….and ditched school…with Alice…" She sobbed, her breath coming in pants. "And I spent money, and you…"
"How would Renee have reacted, Bella?" He asked quietly. He hated to admit it, but it worried him, the reaction she'd obviously been expecting. 'Surely her mother wouldn't have been able to hide it…if she'd been abusive on top of neglectful.'
"She'd have yelled…and I wasn't supposed to spend money…we didn't have much. She'd get upset…"
"And Charlie?" Esme asked quietly.
"He'd be mad too…he'd ground me…yell a lot." Carlisle let out a little sigh of relief. None of that was abusive…well, her mother certainly hadn't helped matters, but at least she'd never hit the girl.
Jasper was as still as a statue, his eyes closed as he monitored the emotions upstairs, his arms wrapped around Alice who sat in his lap. Edward sat tensely beside him, looking as though he was missing his other half, his eyes darting to the ceiling occasionally as if he were going to jump up and get Bella at any second. Emmett stood in the doorway, and Rosalie was out in the garage, tampering with her car again...or pretending to. But Jasper knew that wasn't out of callousness. Rosalie was as worried as the rest of them…she just needed to distract herself.
His little sister was talking to them. Just a little…just about Charlie and Renee…and a little about Phil...mostly the way he'd treated her after coming to live with her and her mother. But at least she was talking! The pain and anxiety she'd been burying was finally starting to come to the surface, and he was relieved. But it was hard for her…talking to them, even though she felt the same or more affection for them that children usually felt for their parents. It was hard for her to trust people…to open up to them in any way. She'd fallen in love with Edward, and that made it easier for her to talk to him. He certainly never gave her any reason to be self conscious or anxious. But her experience with her parents had all but traumatized her.
Emmett was confused. Looking up at his large brother, he lifted an eyebrow. They weren't mind readers like Edward, but they could communicate silently when they wanted to. "She wasn't supposed to spend money?"
"I think her mother's irresponsibility extended to money." Jasper answered softly. "Not to mention she was a single mother working off of a teacher's salary. I don't think Bella was allowed to buy herself things…or, rather, her mother worried about money and made Bella anxious about buying things. I wouldn't be surprised if she had to help her mother with the finances…paying bills, balancing the checkbook…at least from the way she talks. I know she did the grocery shopping." Emmett's confusion turned quickly to irritation, and then anger.
"She was worried about using her credit card because she said she could never afford to pay Carlisle and Esme back." Alice told them quietly. Edward shifted in his seat, then stilled again, still staring at the ceiling.
"Do you see anything, Alice?"
The short haired girl in Jasper's lap sighed at her brother's question. "It's blurry. She's so indecisive." There was a note of irritation in her voice. "She may open up to one of us. She may just write it down. Then again, she might keep burying it. She's scared to deal with it. I think the way Charlie dealt with her…after we left…" They all flinched in pain at that memory, Edward especially. "…I think it hurt her more than he knew. She said he mentioned having her committed…she was so scared that he would send her away that she buried everything and tried to pretend to be fine…and on some level, she thinks that if doesn't recover from all this quickly enough that Carlisle will send her away." Edward dropped his head into his hands and Jasper winced at his anguish.
"The vision you had last night?" Emmett inquired softly.
"Gone."
"How bad was it, Aly?" His voice was almost pained.
"Carlisle had to change her…I don't even know if it worked. She was dying."
"How?" Edward choked out.
"I couldn't tell…hit by a car maybe? It seemed like her chest was crushed...it could have been anything honestly."
"Da*n fragile humans." Emmett crossed his arms tightly and looked up at the ceiling, his emotions swinging back and forth between pain and fear, things Jasper so rarely felt from his largest brother.
"Are they done?" He asked his wife softly.
"I think so. Carlisle won't ask her anything else, and Esme's not going to try to push her."
"So what do we do?"
"Act normal." She said wryly. Jasper grinned a little, kissing her cheek.
After making me promise to tell him if I started feeling sick, Carlisle sent me downstairs with Esme, who was determined to make me food. He advised her to make something light, and she finally decided on chicken noodle soup, which sounded fine to me. When we stepped into the living room, everyone minus Rosalie was sitting on the sofa. Emmett stared at the nightly news anchor with a single-minded determination that he usually reserved for advanced games of chess with Jasper, who sat beside him and read a thick book that looked to be about human anatomy. Alice lay on her back, her head in Jasper's lap, a small tablet in her hand that she seemed to be doing a project on, as her hands were constantly touching the screen…or maybe she was playing a video game.
Only Edward seemed to notice my arrival downstairs, and before I knew it I was back in his arms, his hands running through my hair and touching my face in almost panicked motions. "What's wrong? Are you okay?" I asked softly, catching his hand in worry. He forced out a laugh.
"I'm fine. I was wondering the same about you." He mumbled, his forehead resting against mine.
"I'm…" I trailed off at his warning look. "…okay." I tried. He rolled his eyes but didn't argue, choosing instead to pull me close and hold me again.
"Come on." He scooped me into his arms and moved to go back up the stairs. "It's going to take Esme a little bit to make that soup from scratch."
"She knows that you can get in in a can, right?" He laughed loudly as he stepped into our bedroom, then sat me down on the bed, moving to sit beside me.
"She enjoys cooking homemade food for you." He touched my face, gently moving a piece of hair behind my ear. "We all do, actually. Even Emmett…he's not very good though…at least I don't think so." He laughed again when I made a face. "That's what I thought. It's kind of you to eat it though. He appreciates it." He looked at me for a moment, then glanced at the closed door. "Bella…we could all hear your conversation with Carlisle." His voice was apologetic, but I snorted.
"Yea, I figured. You guys can all hear everything that goes on in this house, can't you."
"Pretty much." His smile was relieved, but it didn't linger. "Bella…you don't have to talk to me about this. I wish you would, but you don't have to. Like Carlisle said, you can talk to anyone…or just write it down. No one would read anything that belonged to you, I can promise you that…" He trailed off, his worried eyes meeting mine, and I began to waver.
I would have loved to talk to him…honestly I could see myself talking to any of them, about how much the rumors were hurting me, about how Lauren made me feel sick and anxious whenever I saw her…how I worried that the bullying was going to escalate as more people jumped on the wagon. I wanted to tell him that I still had nightmares about Jeremy and Mark, and about my mother, and about everyone I loved being shot in front of me while the rest of my family abandoned me. I wanted to tell him that I was so guilty still because I was causing them trouble and that this only made me more anxious and that the anxiety made me sick and then I felt more guilty. Most of all, I wanted to hear him tell me that he'd never leave, so I settled for just that. "Please stay." I leaned my head against his shoulder, totally aware that I was making myself completely vulnerable, that I was trusting him with this ridiculous insecurity I still felt, and that there was a chance he would be repulsed by it. "Please don't leave me." He didn't hesitate, his arms winding around me, pulling my head up so that he could kiss me, my lips, my cheek, my nose…down my neck where I couldn't even imagine the restraint he had to use.
"Never. I will never leave you." He promised, his voice passionate enough to placate me for the moment, and i felt myself calming, relaxing in his cold arms as he held me,
Rosalie looked up when Bella entered the garage, the girl's scent growing stronger in the enclosed space. The girl was obviously surprised to find her leaning against the hood of the car, he hands clasped tightly. But she'd been like that since arriving home and racing into the garage, pretending that she needed to work on her car. Of course Edward knew the truth, and Jasper could probably feel it as well, but both were good about keeping everyone's secrets. She'd been increasingly worried about her human sister, something that surprised her as much as it seemed to surprise Bella. She had never dreamed that she could care about a human girl, much less the human girl that, when they'd first met, seemed to bring only trouble.
But now, after seeing the girl shot and forced to relive such horrible events through nightmares every night…after learning that she'd been assaulted in such a terrible way when she was a child…after holding her in her arms on the bathroom floor when she'd been so weak and dizzy that she'd nearly collapsed…she couldn't help but care for her. Bella had been surprisingly gracious about Rosalie's apologies; much more gracious than Rosalie knew she deserved, and now the girl was hurting so badly…the vampire had no idea how the human was able to stand it all. And then she'd listened a few hours ago as Alice had described her vision; a vision of Bella being so severely injured that Carlisle's attempt to save her might not even work…she vowed that that would not be her sister's fate. She wouldn't go through that. The thought of losing the girl now…of how that loss would affect now only Edward, who loved her more than his own life, but the others; Carlisle and Esme who thought of her as their youngest daughter and loved caring for her, Alice who loved the girl more dearly than Rosalie would have thought possible, and Jasper and Emmett…both so happy to have a new little sister to tease and play with and protect…the thought was unbearable. Rosalie could see now, although she hadn't been able to at first, that Bella was the final piece of their family, whether or not her choices were ones that Rose herself would make.
"Are you okay?" Bella crossed her arms and looked around a little nervously. "Edward said you were fixing your car?"
"Not fixing." Rosalie grinned a little, straightening. "I was going to work on the engine…maybe tune it up again." Bella looked completely lost and Rosalie laughed, stepping forward and throwing a familiar arm around her shoulders. "Come on. I'll show you."
Thank you all for reading. :)
