I'm actually glad I haven't finished this fic-because Fates has changed how I'm going to approach the ending of this fic. So, this works out. But! Here's this chapter, and I'm already half done with the next-while grinding through the three different paths of Fates as fast as I can.
The sound of steel scraping free from a scabbard is still ringing in Lucina's ears. Her hands still smell of the sweat and blood that clung to her sword's grip. Her arms still feel leaded by the weight of Falchion-of the effort spent holding it aloft for so long. She still sees the almost blinding oranges of the sunset.
"I know this is matricide."
Her head hurts.
"It will be swift and painless."
Her stomach is still turning in her abdomen.
"Don't say that! I-"
Her skin is clammy.
"I can't do it. Damn it all, I can't! I'm so sorry, Mother. I-"
Lucina retches, and her throat burns at the feeling of the bile. She heaves again and tears sting as she curls over herself. Everything hurts, and Lucina can't even find the strength to get back up.
Good, Her mind ticks. You deserve this.
The sounds of camp are only a dim murmur. Lucina hadn't left the field she had confronted her mother in. She had cried in her arms for what seemed like forever-but when Robin offered her hand to go back to camp Lucina had refused.
She didn't deserve that unconditional forgiveness. That powerful love.
Matricide.
She had tried to kill her mother.
"We were never sure you know. They could have been wrong. It could have been anyone. You shouldn't think about it. This is our second chance after all."
Inigo's words, ones that felt years away, echo painfully in her head, and his worried frown comes to mind. His hand gripping her shoulder at the end of their skirmish on the way out of Plegia's castle. The way he murmured her name, begging her to return to camp with him to rest.
She should have followed him. Put this all out of mind. Now she'd gone and ruined everything. Her stomach finally empty, she stumbles away from the mess, her throat raw. Everything feels wrong. Wasn't this what she had come back to do? Save her father, keep her little brother safe, and stop Grima from taking over the world?
But what about Mother? Did you ever even think...? Lucina's mind whispers. Biting her lip, Lucina drags herself over to a stump to sit, dizzy. Tears burn at her eyes, a worryingly familiar feeling.
"Luci?"
Her head snaps around to see Inigo standing there, holding a plate of food and a water flask. His face is set in what Lucina is growing to realize is a look only for her-a very pitiful expression that spoke of an emotion that Lucina dares not put a name to. He is frowning, and that only makes the tears that Lucina was holding back spill over.
"I'm sorry."
She turns away from him, a sob pushing the words from her throat. She hears him moving quickly and he's at her side in a heartbeat. His arms wrap around her with practiced ease and his fingers begin to run through her hair in smooth strokes. Lucina gladly presses her face into the crook of his neck, her breath hitching loudly as she cries once more.
It feels like hours until she stops.
"What happened? Are you okay?" Inigo's voice is low and worried, and Lucina pushes her face further into his skin breathing in the scent of dried blood and dirt, of the cheap scent he picked up in the last town they stopped in because she said it smelled good on him.
She almost lies to him, almost brushes it off again-as she had so many times before. Then her gut churns at the thought of letting Inigo down again, after so many attempts to get her to trust him. She can't after seeing so many sad frowns and downcast eyes. Not again.
"I tried to kill my mother."
The words slip out on a hoarse breath and it takes all of Lucina's strength to stop herself from retching again. Inigo's hold grows tighter on her and he takes in a sharp breath. Lucina holds as still as possible, waiting for the inevitable anger and rejection.
It never comes. Instead, Inigo sighs loudly and rests his chin over Lucina's skull.
"How do you feel?"
The question feels out of place against the circumstances, in Lucina's head. How does she feel? He can't tell? Or he can tell...but he just wants you to say it. Her head argues back, trying to tamp out the self hate slowly but surely. She takes in a deep breath and bites her lip, closing her eyes.
"Terrible. She...she just stood there. She was going to let me do it." Lucina's words tremble and she can still feel that kind gaze on her-see that smile. "My life is yours. It always has been." Such wonderful words in the face of death.
"So she believed you. She thought she was a threat too." Inigo's words are low, and he snakes an arm in between them to cup Lucina's chin and get her to look at him, "What else?" His eyes are steady, and his hand is warm against Lucina's clammy skin.
"She...She forgave me. Without a second thought. Who...who can do such a thing? Just stand there and wait to be killed and then forgive their would be murderer?" The words come out as a babble and Lucina's eyes begin to tear up again. Her grip on his shirt grows ever tighter.
"Someone who loves you," Inigo smiles, brushing the tears around her eyes away with a thumb.
"I don't deserve that love! How can I? I've failed at every step! Every task I set out to do I've failed at!" Lucina's voice raises with every new statement and her hands clench into fists, "So why?"
Inigo frowns, waiting for a moment before answering, "Why? Why does anyone do anything? Because they believe in it. Your mother loves you, and she believes in you. She knows you wouldn't have done it if you weren't completely sure. I mean, that's why you waited so long, isn't it?"
Lucina lets of a breath as if she's been punched, "You knew?"
Inigo chuckles, "Lucina, I've been following you since we were kids. I know you better than you think. I know that you've tried to put this off as long as you could." He cocks his head, "You don't think I was just trying to get you to come with me to kiss after the battle or something?"
Lucina manages a watery chuckle at that, shaking her head, "Will you be cross with me if I say yes?" At Inigo's wide grin she shakes her head, "No, I knew you wanted to stop me. But you didn't force me to go with you," She furrows her brow, "Why didn't you? You could have. I wasn't in a good place, I would have followed if you really tried."
Inigo shrugged, averting his eyes, "I guess I didn't want you to hate me for getting in your way. You've always said how important it is for you to finish what you start and I...I just couldn't take it if you hated me for taking away one of your last chances." His fingers faltered on her face before lowering them as he spoke, until they were clenched in his lap and he was ducking his head.
Lucina stares at the boy for a moment mutely before realizing he was being honest. Did he really value himself so lowly? Did he think she cared so little for him? Her heart squeezed painfully at the thought of him not knowing how she felt about him. She unclenched her fists and took Inigo's head in her hands, forcing him to look at her.
"I could never hate you, Inigo. How could you even think that? You…" Lucina pauses, unsure whether it is wise to continue, "The thought of you even thinking that I hate you...Gods, my heart hurts at the thought."
The wonder on Inigo's face urges her on, "You're one of the most important people in this world to me, Inigo."
"I love you."
The words slip out of Inigo's lips unbidden and Lucina's fingers jolt on his face as she stares at him. The horror suddenly dawns on his face at what he's just said, and his face flushes dangerously quickly.
"Inigo, wha-"
He stands before she can even finish the question forming on her lips, her heart pounding, and her cheeks hot. He runs a hand through his hair and he searches the ground for the plate he brought out, muttering quickly.
"I should get going-I got you some food, but um. I mean, you should eat at some point, but you don't need to eat with me and-"
Lucina steals the rambling from his lips with a kiss, swallowing the yelp that escaped from his throat. After a moment she pulls back and locks eyes with the startled dancer. She clears her throat and averts her eyes for a moment. "Well. What kind of man are you to run away after confessing that?" At Inigo's surprised croak she puts a finger over his lips, giving him a small smile, "I suppose the kind of man that I love."
Inigo's eyes widen even more, but behind Lucina's finger his face breaks into a wide grin. This time Lucina is startled as Inigo scoops her up into a bearhug and twirls her around, laughing all the while. When he finally puts the two of them down, he's flushed again, his grin almost manic.
"You mean it? You love me?"
He sounds incredulous.
"I do. I love you." Lucina answers, laughter leaking into her words at the end. She places a hand over her mouth, attempting to stop the laughter, but Inigo tugs her back in for another hug, and she can't fight it.
She feels lighter than she has in months.
Inigo lets her go at last, and even though he is still grinning like a fool Lucina doesn't bother scolding him. Instead she watches as he retrieves the food and waterskin again and wiggle them slightly.
"Eat with me?" He requests, waggling his eyebrows. Lucina snorts, but sits back down on her stump, leaving room for Inigo as he passes her the plate. She leans her head against his shoulder as she takes a bite from the roll on the plate.
When Inigo's arm snakes around her waist Lucina smiles through her chewing, glancing up at Inigo's beaming face. It feels right. Simple. Far more simple than she thought.
From the edge of camp, leaning against a pole, Robin smiles at the two teenagers. Inigo turns for a moment, feeling eyes on them, and watches as Robin nods to him before she turns around to disappear into camp. He almost swears he can hears a tired voice on the night breeze.
"Thank you."
Sometimes I think it's a bad thing I'm slow, but it's helped me out this time around-but reviews and likes are just so darn great I appreciate every single one of them. Also happy Easter to those who celebrate it!
