Unspoken Fears

These good fellows don't belong to me but I promise when I'm done to pick um up, dust um off and with a kiss on the cheek return them safely home."


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"Heaven hath no fury; like a love to hatred turned." William Congreve.

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Chapter 8

Johnny watched Dixie enter the building then cranked up his Rover and pulled out of the ER parking lot. Swinging around he found a place in the front of the hospital so it wouldn't get towed. Last problem he needed today was bailing out his vehicle. Despite his aching bones he made his way through the lobby and into the elevator hoping that no one would accidentally bump into his crappy feeling body. After he checked on Joanne he would go back to his apartment and take a long hot shower for his sore muscles that were now beginning to really protest. His ribs hurt, stomach hurt and now his head hurt from hitting the wall in the ER. When the doors opened the first person he saw was Hank's wife Emily and was instantly grateful that they were here for Roy and Joanne.

Poor Johnny, she thought to herself, he really showed how hard this had been on him. She walked up to greet him, "Johnny."

"Emily, it's good to see you." He replied back as he reached out to take her hand. Her hand was warm in his as he appreciated a welcoming face more than she would ever know.

She watched him closely as he sat down beside her, "How are you doing Johnny? I know this has been terrible for you too."

"I'm okay, it just seems so... unreal. Have you heard anything yet?" It just seemed to quiet to him, un-nerving.

"Nothing since they moved her upstairs. Can I grab you some coffee?" He looked like he could use a pick me up.

"No, thanks though." He just wanted to make sure Joanne was alright then get back home.

The two heard the doors of the ICU swing open, looked up, and watched Joe Early approach them. Emily stood up but Johnny stayed seated.

"Doc, how's she doing?" She asked.

Joe smiled, "The CT showed only a tiny fracture of her skull which is good. We've also been able to take her off the ventilator and her vitals have stabilized after giving her a blood transfusion."

Johnny didn't know what to say. The news was almost too good to be true as he pictured how bad she had looked. Emily asked the question he had been afraid to ask. "So she's going to make it through this?"

The doctor patted her arm and looked at Johnny, "She's strong. I think she will pull out of this just fine. We still have to watch her closely but so far she's responded well. Roy's in there with her now and she's sleeping quietly."

Johnny shook his hand, "Thanks doc."

Joe looked down at Johnny knowing what the man had been through in the ER, "Johnny, she's doing well. Don't give up on her yet."

Johnny let the corners of his lips turn up for a small smile, "Never doc. Thanks."

Early moved down the hallway, as he headed down to the next nurse's station to check on other patients. Almost immediately the ICU doors opened again and this time it was Roy coming out of them. He looked up to see Johnny now standing beside Emily and that overwhelming anger took hold of him instantly and thoroughly as surely as an out of control power source. He walked right over to Johnny and shoved a finger in his face.

"She's lying the in the ICU and all she seems to be worried about is you!" He yelled at him.

Johnny took several steps backwards lowering his head and shoulders in response to the admonishment. Emily was almost a little afraid of the anger in Roy's voice but saw the reaction of Johnny, "Roy, please don't."

But Roy didn't hear her.

Johnny didn't even try to defend himself, "I'm sorry Roy. Please tell her I'm so sorry."

Those words again. His brain couldn't even think about anything but her in the ICU and those words, he was sorry so he must have done something to be sorry for. It was like he couldn't even see the face in front of him anymore. It was simply someone who had turned his life into a living nightmare. Without even thinking about it his hands slammed into the chest in front of him.

At any other time or place it wouldn't have of even affected Johnny in the least but his body was weakened and the emotional impact on his heart was a hundred times more than those hands on his chest. Stumbling backwards he reached out for something to break his fall but his downward momentum was more than he could slow. He landed on his rear end and cried out with the sudden abrupt stop. Emily felt panicked and didn't know what to do as she looked between the two men.

Roy looked down and for a fraction of a second and wondered why Johnny was on the floor. Then he saw the look on his face. He could focus on his face now but the sadness in those brown eyes made him catch his breath. Johnny?

All he knew was that he had to get out of there, away from Roy, away from everyone. He grabbed the chair beside him and pulled himself up with an audible groan that sent an alarm through Emily who had no medical training. She reached out to him but he pushed her away, gently but with a resolution that he didn't want anyone near him. Finding a final strength he looked into his friend's eyes and he said a silent goodbye knowing that Joanne would be alright now, her husband was at her side and obviously he was no longer wanted. Pulling himself up straight he walked to the elevator and pushed the button. Without looking back he stepped onto it and turned around.

Roy took a step forward with a fear that he couldn't explain. As he watched the doors close between him and the man he called his brother he saw the life that was behind the brown eyes also close. Now, Roy and Emily just stood there, neither one knowing what to do or what to say. Her emotions were all fear. Fear of Roy's reaction and fear for Johnny's safety.

The doors opened up on the elevator and they both looked up to see Hank, Brackett and Dixie step off of it. Hank was immediately tuned into the fact that something had happened by the tears running down his wife's face. His first thought was of Joanne. "What happened?"

Emily put herself into his arms, "Johnny was here. Roy …"

Hank gritted his teeth and pulled her back, "Roy what?"

"Roy hit him. The look on Johnny's face, oh Hank," she sobbed in his arms.

Hank glared at Roy and saw the man's face flash from blank to anger in a second. "What exactly happened Roy?" His own voice was now in full command mode which caught everyone standing there off guard, sending them into their own state of silence.

But Roy realized he didn't have an answer. There was nothing he could say to explain what had happened. Hank saw the confusion on his face and figured that he wan't going to get a straight answer, "Where did he go?"

"I don't know," Roy's voice was edgy, still unsure of how he felt. But he knew he was numb and cold now and no longer sure what to do so he turned to the ICU doors.

But Hank was hot on his trail and grabbed his arm before he got into Joanne's room, "Roy? What the hell was that about?"

"I can't right now Hank. I just can't."

Hank's internal alarm went off at the disoriented sound in his voice. Things were going downhill fast here and he had no control what so ever, something he was not use to. He followed Roy into her room and stood by the wall, out of the way, as Roy went into the bathroom and splashed water on his face.

That look in Johnny's eyes haunted him and deep down he knew he was the cause of it. It was a look that said he had lost everything; that he had just given up. Any other time that would have cued in his natural instinct to respond to his friends need but behind those heartbroken eyes he could only see his wife's broken body and what he felt for Johnny would be gone again.

"Roy?" She mumbled out.

He was right by her side and saw that Hank, Dixie, Emily and Brackett were all with him now. "I'm right here honey, it's all right."

"John…ny?"

He closed his eyes and took a deep sigh breath, "Please don't worry about Johnny, he's fine."

Emily wanted to say something but held her tongue. Johnny was far from fine. She had also seen the reaction and the terrible look in Johnny's eyes. She turned her eyes to look at Hank but he was intently watching Roy with much mixed emotions of his own.

Joanne was so frustrated. Her body was betraying her and not letting her get the words out. "Bat."

They looked confused at her. "Bat?" Roy repeated not understanding what this meant.

Brackett had talked to Vince at length about what happened, "Roy, Vince said there was a bat in the bedroom where she was attacked."

Roy's first reaction was mixed with fear and rage. He used a bat on her, that's what caused all this damage? It was amazing he hadn't truly killed her. Suddenly he didn't know how much more he could take of this. She nodded her head slightly again as her hands reached for him. What was she trying to tell them? He looked up and saw Dixie move right beside her and lean close beside her.

She spoke softly, "Jo, you're safe now. We are all here with you. Are you worried about Johnny?"

A flash of resentment went over his features as he looked at Dixie. She chose to ignore him as Joanne again nodded her head. Roy saw it and his heart began beating faster. Dixie kept talking, "Jo? Did Johnny get hurt?"

Her eyes looked to her husband pleading with him to understand, "Bat." Her breath quickened. Why didn't they know where Johnny was? She was asking and they acted like they had no idea he was even hurt. She could still hear the impact of the bat against him and him falling to the ground.

Roy could see that she was getting more upset. "This is enough. Leave her alone." Again he was mad. Hadn't she been through enough? But it was her hand that squeezed his with a strength that grabbed back his attention. "What honey?"

She focused intently on her words knowing that she had to make them understand.

"Saved…me," she pleaded with him.

The room was beginning to spin as he looked at her eyes. Eyes that told him she was scared to death for Johnny.

What had happened in that apartment?

"Bat." She tried again. God, why didn't they understand?

Roy hated that word now. Why did she keep saying it? Was she still afraid of the bat? "There's no bat now Jo."

"Johnny." Her voice was getting so tired as a tear ran down her cheek. "Bad."

He looked up at the others hoping they were understanding more than he was. He was clearly not getting it and she seemed so frustrated with him.

Emily came up to her. She remembered the sound of pain in Johnny's voice when he fell, "Jo, did the man hurt you with the bat?"

She shook her head, "No…Johnny."

With an instant dread they all understood, all of them. Roy got back close to her, "He hit Johnny with the bat?"

She nodded and another tear rand down her cheek, "Bad…saved…me…save…him."