Ruby Tuesday
She would never say where she came from. Yesterday doesn't matter when it's gone.
The club had a lot going on and the last thing Jax needed was the distraction that two baby mamas could bring, namely a shit load of drama. I picked the kid up as agreed upon, Tara left at the same time to head to St. Thomas.
"You take care of my grandson, and I'll take good care of my granddaughter. Leave me the key so we can bring groceries back before coming up to the hospital." Tara looked unsure about handing over the key to the dump that Rick had barely held onto. "Oh come on sweetheart, there isn't anything in the house that I need, or want. Well unless you have a craving fork? I'm planning on having a dinner to celebrate and got a turkey and a ham, and you know how Bobby is, that shit can't touch."
Tara reluctantly handed me the keys . She gave the kid a hug and kiss saying she would see her later at the hospital, and reminded her to take her meds. She then handed me a slip of paper.
"This is any information you need on what to do should Jac gets sick or should anything happen. Also there is an envelope with required documents for registering her for school, if you still intend to take her to do that." Tara gave the kid one last hug.
"Don't worry sweetheart, I'll take care of her. And tonight, my house, dinner, to celebrate. I can bring Jac, Grace, what the hell ever you call her after seeing Abel and then you can come by after your shift is done." I was trying to keep in mind that if Jax choose to have any kind of good relationship with his daughter I bet play nice with the good doctor.
"I don't know Gemma. " Tara said as she put her bag in the car.
"Oh come on sweetheart, I'm extending the olive branch here. Clay and I talked last night, the club is Jax's family and you are going to have to get used to them being around. Especially if you two are sticking around. " The kid climbed into the back seat, and buckled her seat belt.
While the sun is bright, or in the dark of night.
"We'll see, I have to get going. I'll talk to you later. " Tara got in and started her car as I did the same thing. "Alright kid, I think we need to lay some ground rules first. It is going to take some time for me to get used to the fact that I have a 9-year-old grand kid, so for now, let's stick with Gemma. I'm not sure what your mom is expecting coming back after all this time, but the last thing he needs is more drama in his life. We clear on that? And, what is it I'm supposed to call you? What the hell was your mom thinking with that name, Jackson Grace-Thomas." I looked at the kid in the rearview mirror.
"Well, you can call me Grace. Mom is the only one who ever really calls me Jac, or Jackson when I'm in trouble. She told me once that I looked so much like him when I was born that she couldn't help but call me by his name. And I'm okay with just calling you Gemma. " She pulled something out of her bag, a notebook and ipod.
"Don't get too comfortable with those things on Grace, so the school office opens in an hour. How about I make you breakfast and my house, then we'll take care of all the things we need to do today?" I wasn't giving her much of a choice in the matter as we were already pulling down the street to my house. "You good with eggs? Clay likes a big breakfast in the morning before handling business." We pulled in to the driveway and I saw that Jax's bike was parked next to Clay's. The kid grabbed her bag and climbed out following me into the house. "Looks like I have another mouth to feed this morning as well. Typical."
No one knows. She comes and she goes.
"Let me guess, he's Clay and not grandpa? And it should be Jax and not dad. " She meet my gaze, snarky little bitch. Damn she was going to fit right in around here.
"Come on kid, let's get you feed." I gestured for her to sit on one of the stools at the counter while I got things together to make breakfast. I figured that Jax and Clay were talking in the office and the smell of food would draw them out. As I moved around the kitchen the kid took out her notebook and started drawing. She didn't put the headphones back on, but she didn't talk much while I cooked.
"Do you always make this much for breakfast? Or is this how it always is?" Grace asked, she was still working on her drawing as I began to plate the food I had made. Maybe I had done more than normal, but Jax was here and he could eat his weight in food some days, and I didn't know what the kid liked. There was bacon, eggs, toast, some fruit I had cut up and a stack of pancakes.
"I don't do anything half assed kid, the sooner you learn that the better. What are you drawing?" I asked as I stepped closer to her. She shrugged and set her pencil down. "Come on kiddo, help me put the plates on the table and you can get to eating. Those two will come out of the office and there won't be a single scrap left." She helped and sat in the chair I pulled out for her. No sooner did she sit that both my guys came out sniffing the air.
Goodbye, Ruby Tuesday. Who could hang a name on you?
"Something smells good. Grace. Hey darlin', I see grandma made us all breakfast. " Jax came out smiling like a kid at Christmas. I'm sure he thought he was being cute with the grandma comment. Asshole.
"Yeah, Gemma said she makes Clay a big breakfast before he handles business. And rule number one was not to call her that." Grace said after taking a sip of juice.
"So this is, wait I thought you said Tara named the kid after him?" Clay looked confused as he went to sit at the head of the table.
I groaned, this kids name was going to be a real pain in the ass. "She did, my name is Jackson Grace." The kid seemed more than willing to speak up for herself.
"That's not your whole name, fucking mouthful if I've ever heard one. Jackson Grace-Thomas Teller." I rolled my eyes. Mind you I loved that my first grandchild was named after both of my sons, but seriously. Tara must have been on some heavy drugs immediately after giving birth to think that was a good name.
"So what do you prefer to be called?" Clay asked, filling his plate.
"You can call me Grace." The kid barely looked up, I knew Clay was a bit intimidating for some people, but usually they were more afraid of me, this kid had it a bit backward.
When you smile with every new day
"'Hmmm...I think I like that your name gets that response out of grandma," he gave a shit eating grin then said, "I think I'll be the one that calls you Jackson Grace. Hopefully you got your mom's end of things brains wise though. She always was the smart one in the group. I don't think the prince would have gotten that damn GED is she hadn't forced him to." Clay chuckled pretty proud of himself.
"Oh she definitely seems to have the brains in this operation, and some amazing artistic skills. You should see the sketch book she has. Kid's got a future in it." Jax spoke with pride, he barely knew the kid but he seemed to already think she could do no wrong. He had been the same way about Tara and then she broke his heart. "You should see the sketch she did of the Soft tail I'm working on at the shop. Which reminds me," he reached into his kutte and pulled out a folded piece of paper. Opening it up he handed it to Clay.
"Shit, you drew this? That's impressive kid." Clay said looking at the paper. I craned my neck to get a good look. It was a pretty good drawing.
I looked at my watch and pushed away from the table. "Alright you two need to get over to the shop, and I need to clean up before I take her to get her registered at school. We'll see you later at the hospital. Oh and tonight, dinner here. Let the guys know, I got a serious spread to celebrate. And bring the prospect." I picked up the dishes and started toward the kitchen.
"The prospect doesn't eat meat." Jax said laughing as be followed up the paper and put it back into his kutte where he had pulled it from.
"Don't patch him in, you can't trust anyone that doesn't eat meat." I rinsed the dishes and put them into the dishwasher. Clay laughed. The prospect was an interesting kid. He had returned from Afghanistan and seemed lost. Juice one of the younger club members brought him around to show him the club and hopefully help the kid find some direction. They called him half sack because of his injury that got him his ticket home and a discharge from the Army.
Still I'm gonna miss you...
Over the next few hours, we completed all the tasks including getting Grace registered at the elementary school, and then going to the store to stock up. We headed to the hospital and to check in with the doc and see how Abel was doing.
Jax apparently hasn't been around at all yet. A nurse tells us that the doctors did some tests on Able to assess if he was strong enough to undergo the surgery yet. They will be operating shortly. Grace sits in the rocking chair just looking at her half brother in his incubator. It breaks my heart. I called his cell and he didn't answer. Most likely club shit. I leave a message telling him to call me. Tara approaches me with a clipboard, I'm sure to give me whatever update she can.
"We'll be operating in the next hour. It will take a while. As I told Jax yesterday, Dr. Namid wants to fix his belly first. I'll keep you posted. Um, did everything go well this morning?" Tara speaks quietly, looking into the room at both children.
"Yeah. She's a good kid. School starts tomorrow. How is that going to impact your schedule?" I ask, curious as to how the good doctor has managed to juggle all of this before.
"I already spoke with administrator, I will be able to drop her off tomorrow, and pick her up to bring her to the staff daycare here at the hospital. Once the bus is set, she'll get herself on in the morning and I'll pick her up. It's the routine that we had in Chicago too. " Tara looked at me oddly, confused as to why I would be asking.
"What? Daycare? No we don't let strangers raise our kids." I was flabbergasted, she had to be kidding.
Don't question why she needs to be so free.
"Gemma, they aren't raising her, they are watching her for a couple of hours. Someone will help her with her homework. Then as soon as I'm done with my shift, we'll head home. " Tara folded her arms over her chest.
"And what happens sweetheart if you are in the middle of surgery when school gets out? " Ha, two could play at this game. Daycare my ass.
"In that envelope with all the papers for registering, there was an in case of emergency transportation sheet. The school will put her on a bus that drops other staff kids off here. And she will be brought to the daycare with the other kids. I just have to contact the school before dismissal to be sure they know to put her on the bus. I've done my research Gemma. And this isn't a new routine for us. I don't know what you are playing at, but I have things taken care of." Tara speaks with the authority of a single mother who isn't going to bend.
"Well looks like you still do your homework. But I still say we don't let strangers raise our kids. I can pick her up after school and bring her to the shop. She can do her work there, and Jax can get to see his kid." I'm not sure why I suddenly feel the need to offer this up, maybe it has to do with my concern over Abel and not wanting Jax to miss out on any more time.
"I don't think so Gemma. Yesterday and today were one thing. I won't have Jac spending excessive amounts of time around the shop or the clubhouse. It will be a cold day in hell before I let her become involved in that life." Tara looks pissed. The arms are pulled tighter, she had raised up on her full height to make herself appear taller.
She'll tell you it's the only way to be
"You better get yourself some warm clothes sweetheart. Because if you want Jax involved in her life, you better be prepared for 'that' life to be a part as well." I held her gaze and leaned in closer. Of course at that moment my cell phone rang. It was Piney calling with shop business.
"Speaking of, I have to head to the shop for a little while. I can bring Grace with me, get her some lunch. And be back before Abel should be out of surgery. We both know she can't sit there alone. And I'm not leaving her at a day care when she has already been with me most of the day. " I folded my arms and mimic her posture.
"Fine. But she stays until the end of my shift once you get back." Tara turns and goes into the room and speaks to Grace. The kid nods her head and then stands up. Hugs Tara and then walks out to me.
"Alright Gemma, where to now?" This kids gonna be the death of me, I can sense it.
"Teller-Morrow for a bit, then I need to get some things for tonight's dinner. We'll swing back here and check on the little man after that." I keep my eyes on Tara who is looking down at my Abel in his incubator. She comes back out into the hallway. And I can't resist.
"Hey doc, don't forget about dinner tonight. If you are going to insist on that daycare starting tomorrow, I'm going to insist on what we discussed this morning." Bitch.
She just can't be chained.
We go straight to the shop and I send the prospect to get lunch for Grace. She sits at the picnic table listening to her music and doodling while I deal with the backed up paper work that had Piney calling me in a panic. Men. These idiots can't manage two days without me keeping watch over them. Jax arrives on his bike, followed by Clay, Tig, Bobby and Chibs. This doesn't look good. They all walk into the clubhouse. Tig apparently is the only one who takes notice of Grace. She seems unaffected by it. But it pisses me off. First he hasn't taken the time to go see his son, and now he blows off his daughter.
I head towards the clubhouse. "Stay here sweetheart. I'll be right back." I say as I walk by her.
To a life where nothing's gained, and nothing's lost, at such a cost.
They guys are headed to the table, but not everyone is present so Clay must have called everyone to church. I might have a few minutes to find out what is going on with Jax, and maybe ream him out while I am at it.
"Jackson, can I have a moment please?" I call to him from the doorway, I know that I'm not to enter this room, especially when they are meeting.
"Not now ma." He sounds impatient, but I'm not going to relent.
"Jackson Nathaniel Teller, I need to speak with you now. And I know full well that until those empty chairs are full, church isn't happening. So spare me a moment. Now!"
There's no time to lose, I heard her say.
"Jesus, what?" His temper when he is frustrated is short. He's like Clay in that way. I walk away from the doorway towards the bar which is empty. He follows, but clearly doesn't want to .
"We need to discuss what you want to do for getting Abel's room ready." I figure if I start this way with him, he might be willing to talk.
"Just stop mom. Stop wanting to fix things, or clean my place up. He's not gonna make it." Jax speaks with a quiet tone that still is pronounced.
"What? What do you mean? What happened?" I become concerned, we left the hospital less than an hour ago, had something happened during surgery?
"He was born with half a stomach and a hole in his heart. He's gonna die." I can't help it, I slap him.
"Don't you say that. You're the only one that kid's got. If you don't believe he's gonna live, you might as well go down there and kill him yourself." I'm angry. Angry for that baby, angry for the little girl that has been without a father and myself for missing out on so much with both of them.
"Sorry." I touch his cheek, full well knowing I'm not, "You need to see him, Jax."
"I can't." Is his only reply.
"Why? Cause he'll break your heart? It's called being a father." He needs to start acting like he is one, to both those kids.
"For how long? A day? A week?" He looks so lost in that moment. Like he did when we lost he brother.
"You were born with the same heart defect your little brother had." I pound his chest, "You seem pretty sturdy to me. So does that kid sitting outside. Or did you forget about her? I came through hell, landed on my feet. Your father was hit by a goddamn semi, dragged a hundred seventy-eight yards and that bastard lived for two more days. Tellers don't die easy. "
He smirks, "No, we just die bloody."
"That's the Irish in us." I grin. Jax nods, hopefully I have reached him.
He starts to turn, but then says to me quietly "When you and dad hooked up, he ever talk about his vision? What he wanted from the club?"
"His vision was, you know, what it is. A brotherhood. A family. Why?" He has me concerned, but maybe he taking in what I have just said to him.
Catch your dreams before they slip away.
"I found a box of dad's old shit in the storage unit. Pictures, journals. Things I never knew about him. " He is still quiet, angled so he can see the clubhouse door and the room the others are in.
"What kinds of things?"
"Little I read, seems his original idea of Sons of Anarchy was something simpler. Social rebellion. Living outside the box. Called it a Harley commune. Real hippy shit." He shakes his head, I feel like there is more he isn't telling me.
"We all had a lot of bright ideas back then. We were kids. Your dad became a man. Men take care of business."
"Yeah. They do. " The clubhouse doors open and more of the guys file in, time to get back to business.
"Go see Abel, and remember dinner tonight. Bring the prospect. I'll make him a salad." Jax nods and the guys close the doors, I'm dismissed for now.
Once I am sure things are set in the office, I take the kid with me to the store again. We get what we need for dinner, we drop it off at the house. I let Grace feed my cockatoo, and then we head back to the hospital.
We sit in the waiting area, Luann, my best friend is with us. I'm getting nervous. Shouldn't they be done by now? Tara comes out, she looks anxious. I stand and Luann holds my hand. Grace looks up from her drawing.
Dying all the time.
"Abel's stomach surgery went well, but it's putting a strain on his system. Dr. Namid doesn't want to wait. He thinks we should do the heart surgery now."
"Okay. So what happens?"
"A specialist is on his way from San Francisco. One of the best pediatric cardiovascular surgeons in the country. Soon as he gets here, we'll begin the procedure on Abel's heart."
I squeeze Luann's hand. Oh shit.
"That's good, right? That they're not waiting?" Luann speaks, as I seem to have lost the ability.
"It's the best choice, yes." She seems to have more to say.
"Okay. Thank you. I'll let Jax know." I feel like I might fall if Luann let's go of my hand.
"Can we take a walk?" Here it comes, the part she isn't sharing in front of Luann.
"I'll be right here. I can keep an eye on Grace for you." Luann squeezes my hand again.
We walk down the hall a bit. "What is it?"
"Wendy's in bad shape. Feeling all alone. Can't stop crying." Tara begins, and I stop listening.
"And?"
"I was hoping maybe you could talk to her."
"Trust me, nothing I've got to say to that crank whore is gonna make her feel better." I can't believe her concern for the junkie who almost killed my son's baby.
"I forgot just how forthright you can be."
"'You forgot a lot of things, sweetheart." I turn and head back down the hallway toward Luann and Grace.
Lose your dreams
After taking a few minutes to settle down, I call Jax and update him. The guys have something that they need to take care of and then they are going to come down. Luann calls some of the ladies, she is going to go to the house and start working on dinner. I've prepped most of it, and let her know that the bird has been in the oven since Grace and I stopped at the house. It should be ready around 7. Tara stops by one more time to tell us the specialist had arrived, the surgery will take a couple of hours. Grace and I will join the ladies in preparing for dinner.
"We'll be back." I tell her, sitting here isn't doing either of us any good.
And you will lose your mind?
The time with the ladies, some of whom are old ladies, others crow eaters and hang arounds, will help, I hope. Once we get word on Abel the plan was for the club to all come back to the house to celebrate. I had to believe that things were going to work out. I'd already lost Thomas, I needed Abel to make it for my Jackson.
Ain't life unkind?
We are only back at the hospital a short while, Luann is with me, the guys start streaming in. We fill the waiting room, like a big family. Tara appears from the double doors at the end of the hall. She is covered in surgical gear, fresh from surgery. Her head is down as she walks, but when she looks up her expression is more relaxed. I stand and head toward her.
"The surgeons repaired the damage to Abel's heart. He's stable. The next twenty-four hours are gonna be tough. If he gets through it, he's got a pretty good shot at being a kid." She sounds cautious but I can see it in her eyes, she wants him to make it as badly as I do.
"Thank you."
"Where's Jax?"
"He's on his way." I let out a sigh. He's gonna make it, I can feel it. Tellers don't die easy.
"Okay. I'm gonna go tell Wendy."
"I'll tell her." Knowing that Abel is going to make it has be ready to handle the Wendy problem. Tara smiles at me and heads back through the doors. I update the group, and tell Luann I'll be right back.
"I'm going to go let Wendy know then we will head out of here. Keep an eye on Grace for me?" I ask, Luann hugs me and I pick up my bag and head to Wendy's room.
I walk in and find her staring off into space. She has the nerve to have a Bible open like she is reading it. It might make this easier. I set my bag down on a chair by the door.
"Looks like the boy might actually see his first birthday." I tell her, I am seething at the sight of her.
Goodbye Ruby Tuesday. Who could hang a name on you?
"He made it? Abel, oh thank you. Thank you, God." She sobs.
"Yes, thank you go. Maybe we should say a little prayer. " I pick up the Bible, her faux concern has made this easier for me.
"Okay. That'd be good." She shuts her eyes.
"Dear god, thank you for saving this boy from his murderous junkie mother, who cared more about a forty dollar rush than she did for her own flesh and blood."
Wendy's eye snap open "Don't you dare!"
"Don't I day? You pathetic whore. Do think Jax is going to forgive this? Do you think there won't be charges? Your sudden Bible studies going impress the DA?"
"I'm checking into Promises when I get out." Wendy says.
"Another round of rehab. Let's just throw money at those 12-step freaks." Holding the Bible I walk to my bag. I pull out what I need and place it in the Bible. "How long's it gonna last this time? Six months, three? A couple of weeks?"
"It'll be different now. I have my baby to live for!" Wendy is sobbing and I feel my blood boil. Suddenly I have Wendy by the throat.
"That's where you're wrong. You have no baby. You lost that privilege. You so much as cast a shadow on this kid. Try to turn some legal screw and get custody, I will finish this job. He will never call you mommy." I let go of her throat and place the Bible on her chest.
"I suggest you turn to Jesus." I pick up my bag and walk out. The door barely closes and I hear two thumps.
When you smile with every new day
I head back to my family. When I get there Luann tells me Jax has arrived and he has gone back to talk to the doctor. Everyone is in a better mood, milling about talking to each other, and Luann helps me get everyone ready to head back to the house.
Jax comes out. Abel will require time to recover in the incubator. Only medical staff can be around him until he is in the clear.
"Tara is going to meet us at the house. She was getting cleaned up now. Grace can head over with us. Time to introduce my family to my family." He is more relaxed. His son has a chance. We are on the elevator and the doors are starting to close. An alarm sounds in the distance. Suddenly a nurse is rushing down the hallway. There is a shout about a code blue. The door closes.
Still I'm gonna miss you...
