Previously: "As if Jacob wasn't hard enough for Bella 24/7 already, now we're all gonna have this image burned into our minds for the rest of our lives. She looks like a fucking goddess" Quil admitted. I couldn't help but agree.
Ch 8: Seth
Sure enough, Quil was right. That particular vision of Bella on her board, backlit by the sun, hair streaming wet with a big smile and not so big bathing suit did unfortunately end up in the pack's collective spank box. Which was not so great for me. The imprinted guys were fine, of course because they were completely fulfilled by whatever stage their imprinting relationship was at. Initially this was something I was really thankful for. I was imprinted on Bella. She needed me to be a friend to her. We had become best friends- probably as close as her and Jacob. Therefore I had everything I needed. Emotionally I was good. Physically, I was a healthy beast. Sexually…. I was kind of like a monk. Abstinent in every way and completely happy that way. But then the speculation started and it was all because of that damn scene with Bella on her surf board.
I had been running patrol with Paul and Embry and Paul had just been reliving in vivid detail a very intimate moment involving his shower, his left hand, and Bella the water nymph. Finally, my stomach felt like it was starting to turn and I growled out "Enough!" at Paul.
"Sorry to offend your delicate sensibilities, Seth," he mocked. "You know Seth… everyone does it. I get that I'm probably damaging your virgin brain waves or whatever, but seriously…. It's not like you've never done it."
"I know it's perfectly normal, Paul. It's just that I'm sure Bella wouldn't appreciate knowing that most of her friends are jerking off to her in the shower."
"Well, aren't you a little boyscout!" Paul was such an ass.
"I'm not a boyscout, Paul. I just …" I didn't know how to finish that sentence without giving away more than I wanted.
"You just don't jerk off." Embry finished bluntly. What the hell!
"What? You don't. I've never caught it before in your thoughts… ever. I don't think that's normal, Dude." Embry finished up.
"Are we seriously doing this?" I ask. "Are you two trying to turn it around so that I'm the weird one because I'm not wacking it every chance I get while thinking about my best friend?" I was getting mad now.
"All I'm saying is Bella looked fuckhot when she was surfing that day. And you've been surfing with her for what… a year now? And this is the first time we've caught any images of her at all and it was from Jacob! Bella Swan has been putting on a veritable private spankshow for you on an almost daily basis for over a year but you haven't ever thought about it?" Embry's observation was headed somewhere dangerous and I didn't like it.
"Maybe he didn't think about it because he didn't notice it," Paul chimed in. His voice sounded a little too understanding. Then he dropped the bomb. "I mean, the only guys who haven't been perving on our Miss Swan are those pathetically imprinted bastards and that's 'cuz they all lost their balls in the arrangement. Except little Seth here. Maybe Seth just isn't into girls. At all. Maybe he doesn't notice Bella all dripping wet on the beach because Bella doesn't have a dick! Do you prefer dick, Seth?" Paul goaded.
"Oh shit!" Embry's mind yelled. "I never thought of that! Fuck, dude. Are you gay? You're still my brother and everything, it doesn't matter. I just…. Maybe I'd want a little privacy when I strip down to phase or whatever, but still…." Embry's mind was flying over the possible impact of this new development when he burst out… "Shit! Can gay wolves imprint? I wonder if there's a legend about that. I doubt the elders would've written something like that down. Probably frowned upon that sorta thing back in the day… damn!"
I couldn't handle any more. "Shut it!" I yelled, mentally. "I'm not gay. I just don't think of Bella that way." I really hoped we could end this conversation asap.
"But Seth, you don't thing of any girls like that. Are you sure you're not gay?" Embry asked. In an abstract way I appreciated the fact that if I were gay, rather than in a fucked-up secret imprint with the girl my friend and future alpha was in love with, Embry would be trying to get me to work that shit out and come out of the closet to the pack. He didn't seem to be teasing me like Paul was; he just wanted to know what my deal was.
"I AM NOT GAY" I annunciated as forcefully as I could in my mental voice. And then I was hit with a stroke of genius… or so I thought.
"Look guys, you KNOW what happened with Leah. You've seen it in Sam's thoughts and her own. She's still totally destroyed over it. Leah's my sister. I just can't think of dating someone knowing what happened to Leah would probably happen to them, too. What happens if I get a girlfriend and then I imprint? I'd be worse than Sam because I would have known about the possibility of that shit beforehand." Like Jacob my brain added to that little speech without my consent.
"That sounds just like what Bella said to Jacob the last time he tried to have "the talk" with her about how much he loved her and would wait for her forever," said Embry. "Wait! Did you and Bella talk about all this before?" he added.
"It's come up before, yeah. I couldn't lie to her, you know. She might be Jacob's best friend, but she's mine, too. She asked me a long time ago if Jacob had imprinted on her and I told her he hadn't. I didn't tell her whether or not to give him a shot. That's all up to her… whatever makes her happy." I answered, glad to be off the topic of my apparently questionable sexuality.
"Sometimes I wonder if the reason you guys got so close was that there's always an expectation from Jacob that eventually they will have more to their relationship. It's not exactly normal for a girl to be hanging out with a teenage guy three years younger than her. With Jake, there's an underlying assumption there that whenever Bella is ready to move on and date, he'll be the first in line, and it probably makes Bella uncomfortable. I don't think Jacob even realizes it, though."Embry was mostly just thinking to himself at this point.
"OK, enough Dr. Phil for one afternoon," Paul stated. "I'm soooo sick of hearing about Bella Swan at this point that I'm sorry I ever thought of her….. at least with you two phased in with me," he added in with a sarcastic laugh.
I was thankful when Jacob phased in to pick up the next patrol slot. He had just missed the last bit of conversation. I gave him a mental nod and headed my furry butt in the direction of my house, found my stash of clothes, and phased human. Although the conversation with Paul and Embry could have technically gone worse and by worse I mean only if they had outright asked about me imprinting on Bella. Now I had to worry about the fact that they were interpreting my lack of interest in girls as my being gay. I didn't feel right about just dating some random girl for the sake of getting the guys off my back, either. It's not cool to jerk someone around like that and I just don't have it in me. I couldn't imagine actually having to kiss some girl who I had no interest in and those would be the details the guys would be looking for in my thoughts. I hoped that maybe my explanation about Leah would maybe get me off the hook. I should have known better.
A/N: Sorry for the short chapter, but it was a natural stopping point for this part and is setting up an important future plot point. Thanks so much for all the reviews! Some of you seem to have a good idea where the story is going, but I'll let it unfold so you can discover it as we go. XOXO
