Chapter 8 – Medic Fixes Things
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All Pyro could hear was wind rushing about his ears as he fell down an entire mountain. He couldn't hear the bug-thing frantically screaming that it was going to die. He
couldn't hear his own heartbeat. Did he have a heart? Pyro wasn't sure anymore. One thing he was sure of: There was no respawn in this colorful land of ponies.
When he and the bug-thing died instantly upon hitting the ground, they would both be dead, clearing up all the problems he had ever caused, including freeing this
accursed creature. Pyro felt a million years old, at peace with everything. He had finally found a solution that worked for everyone.
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Everyone stood stock-still for a moment, then Scout immediately ran to the door, hoping to be fast enough to cushion Pyro's fall before it hit the ground. Spy, who had
uncloaked (much to the surprise of the nearby guards, who had recuperated and met in the throne room), caught him on the shoulder, and Scout turned around
angrily. "Zere is nothing you can do," Spy said gently. Scout looked like he was about to argue, but looked down. "I know," he muttered. Most of the team was looking
absolutely dejected. Even Shining Armor looked a little sympathetic. Medic, on the other hand, was anxiously searching his pockets. "Doktor, pockets vill not help ded
Pyro!" Heavy said, confused and worried. "No, no, nein!" Medic said, continuing to frantically search for something.
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"Is this the thing?" Spy said, holding up a small nuclear device with three prongs. Medic, looking immensely relieved, took it from Spy. "Danke, but why did you have it?"
Medic queried. Spy looked amused. "It was about to fall out of your pocket, so… I picked it out before it did," Spy explained, a smile on his face. Medic knew that Spy
was lying and had pickpocketed it because he could, but decided not to press the issue. Heavy, however, was staring at the object. "Doctor, Ubercharge will not revive
Pyro… will it?" Heavy asked. Scout slapped a hand to his face. "That's where I recognized that! Medic, how many of those do ya have?" "Enough," said Medic
dismissively.
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Medic rushed down the stairs, not stopping for anyone. Celestia, Shining Armor, Luna, Cadence, and Twilight's group followed, uncertain what these humans were up
to now. Scout was practically jogging circles around Medic, to the latter's displeasure. "Scout, stop zat. It's hard to concentrate on what I need to concentrate on."
Medic said. Scout immediately stopped, and fell in step next to him. "Sorry, I just get nervous sometimes," Scout explained. "Judas, war is not a thing to get nervous
about, it's a thing to EMBRACE!" Soldier barked behind him, causing everyone but the mercenaries to jump. "Shut up, Jane," Scout retorted. "Pyro just threw himself
out the window…Dat was crazy, but still! He did it, and he won."
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Soldier paused, evidently also thinking of Pyro's sacrifice. "You! You look like you're in charge," Soldier barked to Luna, who jumped about a foot. "Yes, we are, along
with Princess Celestia, our sister," Luna cautiously answered. "That Pyro gets the HIGHEST medal of honor you can give – DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT?!" Soldier
continued shouting. "Do you shout all the time?" Rainbow asked, wincing. "I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU MEAN, THIS IS MY NORMAL TALKING VOICE!" Soldier
continued. Luna was smirking at Celestia, evidently pleased about something. Meanwhile, they had almost arrived at the foot of the mountain.
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Medic stopped, and turned to face the ponies. "Judging from ze nature of your kind, you might not wish to see what remains of our friend," Medic said to them. "If you
wish to stay back, no one here vill think less of you. Right, Soldier?" Medic continued pointedly. Soldier, to everyone's surprise, nodded. "Casualties in the flesh should
be seen by soldiers only," he grunted. "No civilian needs to see this." Celestia and Luna elected to go on grimly, but all of the other ponies stayed behind. Medic pulled
out a rolled-up bodybag from his coat pocket, as well as a clipboard, and began documenting the fatality.
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It was a gruesome sight indeed. Blood, both red and green, was everywhere, and Pyro's smashed corpse was visible, as well as a smear that presumably used to be
Chrysalis. Internal organs were visibly strewn about the site, as well as pieces of bone and sinew. Pyro's face, to the end, was covered by his mask – and the mask
was quite stuck on. "Aren't you going to use that device of yours… 'Medic'?" Celestia asked, trying not to focus on what was in front of her. Medic looked horrified.
"Absolutely not, fraulein!" he exclaimed. "Reviving ze Pyro now would only put him in ze vorst pain imaginable! No, I am not doing anyzing until every part of his body is
in its proper place."
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He began gingerly picking up body parts and placing them in different, marked bodybags, labeled "Heads" (Demoman particularly stared at that one), "Eyeballs",
"Livers / Intestines", "Bones, Various", and so on. Finally, he came to the largest part of Pyro's body that was still intact. "I vill need some help. Heavy?" Medic asked.
"Da," Heavy said, helping him place Pyro's body in a bodybag and gently placing it over his shoulders. Celestia looked at him. For a human who was literally a giant
even among his own kind, this one had a soft heart. Scout, on the other hand, was looking bored. "Aren't you worried about your friend not being revived?" Celestia
asked him. "Medic's as crazy as dey come, but he ain't no slouch either. If it weren't for him, we'd be dead… a lot more times than we have been." Scout answered
vaguely. Now Celestia was interested. What kind of creature scorned death as a temporary measure, and… how? She resolved to find out.
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Hours later, Medic had set up a makeshift workshop inside the castle. Reviving the dead was no easy task, even if Medic himself had pioneered the respawn system
years ago. In the meantime, the rest of the mercenaries spent their time talking to the ponies about their many adventures, and received some stories in return.
Celestia was interestedly gazing over his shoulder at the device he was tinkering with, and Engineer was offering advice from his armchair. Heavy was reading a book
titled "Equestrian Politics", nodding to himself at parts. Celestia admired the machine. It was beautifully intricate, and someday she wished to understand it fully. Medic
had refused to give a blueprint, claiming that it 'was TF Industries property' and it would violate copyright.
