A/N: Just as a little heads up, this chapter has a lot of lyrics in it. The songs belong to Relient K and Sum 41. I don't own any of the chracters, that's all Joss Whedon's.
The Missing Half
Chapter 8 – Swallow Me Whole
Faith finally reached the Summer's house and ran upstairs. She entered the late Mrs. Summers' room and walked over to her wardrobe. She picked up a duffel bag and began stuffing clothes into it hap-hazardly. 'I gotta go. Buffy doesn't trust me.' Faith repeated her silent mantra and continued to pack her few belongings. As she reached a box at the bottom of the closet, her fingers began to tremble. She slowly picked the container up and removed the lid.
Inside, the sliver necklace she had bought for Buffy shined brightly. She took it out and held it in her hand gently. She set it on the nightstand and went to her desk and grabbed a pen and paper. Through silent tears, she wrote to Buffy. The words blurred and tears dropped onto the paper that Faith wrote upon. When she felt that all that needed to be written was on the paper, she picked it up and placed it on her bed. Then she carefully placed the silver necklace on top of it.
With one last glance at her room, she picked up her duffel bag and took off again.
………………..
Buffy was panting for her breath as she finally came to her neighborhood. Carrying Dawn was seriously hindering her speed and tiring her quickly. Willow's house was right around the corner.
"Dawn, I need to move faster. I'm gunna drop you off at Will's ok? Are you going to be ok?"
Dawn nodded her head and the two sisters ran quickly to the red-haired witch's house. They stopped at the driveway. "Dawn just stay here…explain to Willow what's going on. I'll call you when I get her back."
"Buffy? Please don't let her leave…please…" Dawn broke off as tears silently rolled down her cheeks.
"I won't, I promise." With this, Buffy turned and sprinted into the night towards her house, sincerely hoping she could keep her promise.
……………….
As Faith walked to the bus station, it started to rain. 'Of course! Perfect! A wet, miserable slayer. The gods have it out for me huh? It never rains in the Sunny D, so of course, at my moment of heightened drama, it starts to pour! I swear this is like some crappy TV show.' Faith cursed in her thoughts.
She continued to cry as she walked on. Faith didn't know how this all went so wrong so quickly. Just when things were looking better, they did a giant rewind and it was back to Buffy hating Faith.
As her thoughts jumbled together, the words to a song she once heard came to mind. 'Oh great, now it's a TV musical in my head.' However, once the lyrics entered her head, she couldn't help but think of how much they really related to her situation.
"I tried to be perfect, but nothing was worth it
I don't believe it makes me realI thought it'd be easy, but no one believes me
I meant all the things that I said."
Faith spoke out loud to herself, just wanting to hear something other than the rain pounding on the pavement. "I can't believe I actually thought I could just come back to Sunnydale. That Buffy would just get over the past and accept me. It's never that easy. I wish I got to tell her how I really felt. All the things that I wanted to say…not that it would have made a difference."
"If you believe it's in my soul I'd say all the words that I knowJust to see if it would show
That I'm trying to let you know
That I'm better off on my own."
Faith just kept on walking; the lyrics in her head really hitting home. "I don't belong here. I don't deserve Buffy. I only deserve myself."
"This place is so empty
My thoughts are so tempting
I don't know how it got so bad
Sometimes it's so crazy
That nothing can save me,
But it's the only thing that I have."
Faith was fighting a battle with herself. "I want to leave this place behind. I want to let Buffy have the life that's best for her. And I guess it doesn't include me…but dammit! I want to be with her so bad! I want to fight the evil with her! I want to help her! I want her to know I care! I guess I want too much. And you can't always want, take, and have. I was wrong about that."
"I tried to be perfect it just wasn't worth it
Nothing could ever be so wrong
It's hard to believe me
It never gets easy
I guess I knew that all along."
"Oh well. That's it. I screwed up this time. Letting Dawn run off. I tried, but what can I say? I always was a screw-up…ahhh what am I doing? Faith, jump off the pity train! It won't get you anywhere. Just get to the bus station, and get out of town. That's all I can do…"
……………….
Meanwhile, Buffy finally made it to her house. She opened the door and ran upstairs, crossing her fingers and hoping that Faith was still here. She entered Faith's room and her hope crumbled. Her closet was open and empty. Only a few clothes were left hanging. Buffy quickly scanned the room, wondering how this all happened.
Her eyes saw something shiny on the bed. She walked over and picked up what was left for her. A beautiful silver necklace, with a heart on it. On the heart, Buffy traced her engraved name with her thumb. Tears immediately clouded her vision. It was beautiful.
Buffy picked up the piece of paper that was under the necklace. What she read broke her heart.
Hey B,
Well, I'm not completely sure what to say. I guess I just need to tell you that I'm leaving. I'm leaving Sunnydale and going, I dunno, anywhere, just away.
Aww crap, see I was gunna just end this little letter right there. But I can't leave without telling you just a few things. Some things are easy, others not quite so. Well, easy stuff first I guess, that way if you get tired of reading this, you'll have at least read what sounds the least stupid. Ok, so B, I could never hurt Dawn. I know how things musta looked in the graveyard, me hunched over her, all menace-like, and poor little D, hurt. B, there's no way I would ever do that to her. I…I see her as the closest thing I've ever had to a little sis. Someone I need to protect. I don't blame you for thinking what you did. But just know that I would die protecting her…
Well, that was the easy part…wait easy? Who am I kidding? This stuff doesn't come easy to me at all B. I'm not your tissue box sap girl. But I have feelings, I just suck at expressing them.
So B, I need to get this out. Then I can leave here with a little piece of my mind. Not a big one, but enough to keep me sane…oops probably not the best choice of words. Alright so here it goes. Deep breath, steady the hand.
B…uffy, this was all for you. Prison, coming back and facing my personal demons. I wanted nothing more than for you to take me back. To say those three little words…"I forgive you" I know I shouldn't have expected it, but what can I say? I was trying to have a little faith. Ha. How ironic. My name. Faith. Looks like asking you to have some in me was pointless?
Ahh what am I saying. Look B. I don't want your pity. I just want you to know, that you mean a lot to me. More than you could know. And I'm sorry. I'm sorry to put you through this. You deserve better, which is why I'm leaving.
Maybe I'll see you B, maybe somehow for whatever reason, our paths will cross again. I can only hope that I can redeem myself in your eyes someday.
Bye Buffy.
Yours always,
Faith
Buffy read and re-read the letter a few more times. She couldn't believe it. She had really messed up this time. Faith cared about her.
She rubbed her fingers over the necklace and felt something she hadn't noticed before. She flipped the heart over and saw more engraving on the other side. Buffy jumped up and sprinted to the bus station. She needed to get to Faith and tell her everything.
On the other side of the necklace, engraved in script was one simple word.
Chosen.
……………………
Faith sat on a bench at the bus station. A one way ticket to Los Angeles clutched in her hand. Through the rain, she could hear snippets of the music pouring out of the Bronze. Once again she marveled at how much the words of a song could relate to her situation.
"Cause I don't want you to know where I am
Cause then you'll see my heartIn the saddest state it's ever been
This is no place to try and live my life"
"What the Hell is with this night and music! That pretty much hits it on the spot. I gotta leave and never see B again…"
"I'm sorry for the person I became
I'm sorry that it took so long for me to change
I'm ready to make sure I never become that way again
Cause who I am hates who I've been
Who I am hates who I've been""Yep, that's officially the weirdest thing ever. How could one little song epitomize my feelings in more perfect words than that? I just wish that B knew that I changed, I really did. And that I look at my past with as much scorn as she does. But she'll never know that I lo---"
Faith was cut off as a lone figure ran up to the bus station calling her name.
…………………
Buffy sprinted faster as the rain started pouring down. She had to make it to Faith. She had to. Somewhere along the trip, she had put the necklace on and now as she ran, it pounded against her chest softly.
As she ran, she refused to think of what would happen if she didn't make it in time. 'I will stop at nothing to find her. I will bring her back. I refuse to give up on her.'
Buffy turned he corner and saw the bus station just ahead of her. She quickly scanned the station for any sign of her fellow slayer. A bus pulled away and Buffy's heart jumped into her throat. 'No. No! I can't be too late I have to, I have to find her---'
When she looked up again, she saw it. A figure huddled on a bench, shivering and crying. Faith.
"Faith! Faith! Faith!" Buffy screamed her friend's name.
……………..
Faith jumped off of the bench. Afraid. She didn't know what Buffy was gunna do.
Buffy ran up to her fellow slayer and threw her arms around her. At first, the younger slayer was startled, but then she fiercely returned the hug.
"I thought you were gone Faith. Don't leave me. Ever." Buffy whispered into Faith's ear.
Faith broke the hug and looked the other slayer in her bright eyes. "Buffy, I…I didn't do it. Dawn, is she ok? I couldn't hurt her, I wouldn't…"
"Shhhh. Faith calm down, I know. I never thought that you hurt her. I just, I freaked out. Dawn was bleeding, and I flipped out. I never meant to hurt you. Faith, I…I…you…you mean so much to me. When I saw your stuff missing, all gone, I…I couldn't let you leave. I don't know why it took me so long. To say this. Faith, I forgive you, and…I trust you."
"Buffy…thank you." Faith felt a chain unlock around her heart and before she knew what she was doing she poured her heart's contents out to Buffy. "Buffy, I am so sorry for always screwing up. All I ever wanted was to be with you. Ever since I saw you. Then, everything went bad. I couldn't bear losing you completely, and I got so angry. So angry with myself for convincing myself that I could be with you. And then prison. I wanted to change. I wanted to be good again, so I could come and be with you, and fight with you. I felt that my destiny was with you. I wanted you to trust me B, I wanted you to take me back, and realize I had changed. I wanted to come back and protect you…to just be with you."
As soon as the words left her lips, Faith stared at the ground. She had never been that open with anybody before and she was releived that she said what she needed to. Another part of her was terrified that Buffy would run away from her. Be too freaked out to stay with her. So Faith sat there, patiently awaiting the response Buffy was sure to give her. 'Los Angeles here I come.' She thought to herself.
………………
Buffy sat there stunned at what Faith had just said. She wanted her. She wanted to be with her. She loved her.
And then Buffy realized it. She needed Faith. And she was willing to put the past behind her if it meant that Faith would stay with her.
"Faith? Stay. Stay because I need you here. I can't let you walk out of my life again. I need you."
The two soaking girls sat there cradled in each other's arms, unsure of what was going to happen next.
And that's when all Hell broke loose, and the Earth trembled with a mighty roar.
A/N: Ha! A cliffhanger…and just when things were looking up… the more reviews I get, the faster you'll know what happens to our slayers. I know that reviews aren't that important, but they really help me get a feel of what I'm doing right or wrong. Help me out? Please?
