GRAY'S POV

"Here is your coffee, Master Nightmare," I say, stiffly stopping besides Nightmare's desk. I coolly watch as his hand shakily sets the pen down. Despite being unable to read my thoughts even he can sense something has gone wrong. It's impossible to be unable to tell despite my best attempts to cover it up.

"Best attempts?" Master Nightmare repeats, quickly taking the cup of coffee and staring up at me with a cautious gaze. My lifeless eyes roll over to Master Nightmare and watch his finger make a nervous twitch. "You're cracking, Gray." Master Nightmare warns as he takes a sip of his coffee, "what are your plans with those reservations you got for that nice restaurant?"

"If you so insist to know I will probably escort Tawnya there." I say, hardly able to imagine going there alongside that woman. She is difficult to persuade, much like Jackie but perhaps over a nice dinner she will agree to give it to me. I need it now more than ever with the stress building up.

"I advise against it. Jackie is very hurt right now and so are you." Master Nightmare speaks up, somewhat surprising me.

"There is no need to involve yourself in my personal life, Master Nightmare. Do concentrate on getting your work done." I say, turning and walking towards the door. I need to clear my head. My fingers tremble, dying for a fast smoke break.

"But it does concern me that you are taking advantage of the foreigner. She is not happy with the way things are, Gray. So what are you going to do about it?" Master Nightmare asks, making my gait freeze by the door. My eyes roll over to him, glaring at the incubus. This is one of the few times I wish to truly hurt him.

"GEH!" Master Nightmare gags as he hacks up blood into a nearby trash can. I shut the door and hurry down the stairs, ignoring faceless walking up to me with papers in their shaky hands to ask me to sign this and tell them where this sheet of paper goes or where that one is supposed to be ... my eyes slide shut as I step outside into the frigid air.

The flickering flame of the lighter burns the end of the cigarette as I take a deep breath, holding in the smoke in my lungs before exhaling it out into the cool air. The shape of the smoke briefly remind me of Jackie's face before it blows away with the wind, forever out of reach. My eyes narrow as I take another deep inhale to calm my nerves.

This is the first time a woman that I actually care about has given me an ultimatum. Normally they come back to me on their hands and knees begging for me but Jackie is more proud than that. She does not like to be tricked or maliciously trick others on purpose. I don't think I've ever heard her utter a swear word before a time change ago.

My eyes soften as I lean against the building, taking another deep inhale. It startled me that she showed so much passion in that blow out of hers. I've never seen her so passionate about something other than her work. All that anger and all that care was for me. My cheeks grow warm as I take another deep inhale, finding the cigarette already done. I set the butt in the ash tray to the side and pop out another one to light it up. I'm going to need a few of these to calm my nerves. She is normally rather level headed and never loses her cool like that. Do I mean that much to her?

I stare into the sky, exhaling once more and watch the smoke rising into the clear blue air. She wants me but what do I want from her? Is this more hassle than it's worth? My eyes narrow at the thought, annoyed I dared to think that so quickly. It's not. She is very calming to be around and steadies me without trying. She is funny and cute and a much better cook. She is ... very comforting. My eyes pop open as I move from the wall, sucking in a deep breath of the cigarette before leaving it in the ash tray.

Jackie simply doesn't understand the things I must do to protect Clover Tower and keep the peace. She's not so shallow to hate me for being unable to spend copious amounts of time with her but I understand what it must look like to her when I am with Tawnya. My eyes narrow, annoyed with the woman before letting out a deep sigh. While she does offer me things Jackie cannot she is becoming an awful big hassle. I will have to try and be more discreet as to not raise Jackie's concern. I love her but there are things I can't do with my own girlfriend. At least not yet.

My eyes roll into the back of my head as I deeply inhale another long puff. I need to make things up but I am at a loss for words towards her. I froze up when she gave me the ultimatum and now I am unsure how to give her what she wants. But I know I want her. I want her and I will have her. My teeth click together as I toss the useless cigarettes aside. These aren't enough to calm me down.

"I am taking my break, Master Nightmare." I say, walking off into town to find another way to relieve my stress before going to see Jackie.

JACKIE'S POV

"Mraw~ Jackie, wheresh you going?" Boris mumbles as his eye sleepily rolls open, watching as I pause by the door. It's a little weird going out at the dead of Night but I ... need to go cool my head. I can't sleep.

"Go back to sleep, Boris. I just want to go on a small walk for a bit," I say before I slip past the door and shut it. I deeply inhale the cool Night air, closing my eyes and thumping my head against the door. It's ridiculous how worked up I'm getting for someone who was just using me. But it ... I mean ... I do feel he was genuine in a lot of things and I am in the wrong for a good number of things too. I probably shouldn't have freaked out on him like that.

But what else was I supposed to do? He was blatantly cheating on me and, no matter how much I try to deny that it's not true, he physically hurt me. My teeth clicked together as a shudder riveted up my spine. My fingers tightly grip my arms as I squeeze myself in the hug, walking mindlessly through the Amusement Park. Things are a lot less cheerful when the lights aren't on and the customers aren't bustling around in droves for rides.

The thought of the rush of people going from ride to ride brought a smile to my face and a small laugh. Maybe I should go for a few spins. But then again that would wake some of the workers up for sure. With a heavy sigh I keep walking, staring down the pathway.

A small bush rustling catches my attention as a black little pygmy goat stumbles into the path, falling on its weak little legs and laying on the path with a furiously huffing and puffing chest. A ... baby goat? From the petting zoo? I blink, dumbfounded as the little goat stumbles to its feet and makes a few hops around before collapsing again and letting out a small baa. Hm ... this little guy must be, what, a few days old, if that? What is it doing out here?

"Hey, come here," I say, making a few kissy noises and slowly walk over to it. I haven't seen the new animals yet and this little guy must be one of them. The little kid makes a small bah, wobbling to its hooves as its tail cutely wags back and forth. Cute~ he doesn't even have his horns growing in yet. "Here, come here let's take you back," I say, wrapping my arms around the goat. With a few playful hops in place it leans down before whacking its rock hard skull against my gut and making me curl into the pain.

"GEH," I hack, clutching my stomach as I hunch over. O-Ow ... he's got a strong head butt. The little kid bahs and hops around before falling to its side, recovering a little and sitting up and looking around its environment. Cheeky little goat sneak attacking me like that.

"Alright you little trouble maker ... come here," I say with a growl, whipping my arm forward to grab the little black goat. It leaps into the air and topples over again but recovers faster than I expected. The pygmy goat dashes down the path, running away at a fairly slow but unpredictable gait.

"Get back here!" I shout dashing after the little trouble maker as it tries to make its getaway. Just before I grab its back leg it topples over right into the path of my oncoming foot. I suck in a fast breath and exaggerate my step at the last second, sliding and making a full on split against the ground.

" ... ow," I pathetically let out a small mewl under my breath, feeling the stiff muscles on my inner thigh being stretched way more than they should have been. My teeth bite into my lip to hold back a strangled pained cry before I crank my head to the side and glare at the little kid that was trying to prance away on its shaky legs. With a trembling fall forward I readjust my legs, giving the muscles some sorely needed relief as I stand up. The little pygmy goat looks back, its jaws opening before letting out a small baa. With a fast jerk forward my hand whips under the small mammal, holding him tight to my chest as it baas and futilely tries to get free.

"Oh stop struggling I'm not going to hurt you," I huff in annoyance, trying my best to hold onto the kid without hurting him. My eyes soften as he stops his flailing, breathing hard as it lets out distressed baas for help. My fingers numbly comb through its fur as I slowly walk towards the Petting Zoo, enjoying the warmth of the little kid in my arms despite its stubborn struggling. It's so easy to mistakenly hurt a little animal.

For some odd reason my thoughts took the first chance it could to think of Gray, picturing myself for a split second as a baby goat Gray squeezed a little too hard by mistake. My eyes soften as my heart aches, letting my worries and pains leak into my chest cavity and weigh it down.

Maybe I put too much pressure on Gray. He'll more than likely crack under that sort of intense pressure of that ultimatum or run away from it at least. But then again I ... don't know who he really is. Is it because I didn't try hard enough? Or is it because I pictured him as this perfect being inside my head and wouldn't listen to the real him? I let out a small hiccup before clenching my teeth, feeling the pains wrestling with my logic. He hurt me but maybe that's because I didn't listen.

AAAAAAAHHHHHHH WHY CAN'T I JUST STOP THINKING?!

The Petting Zoo comes within sight before I pause, seeing the lights on. Did a worker forget to close it up? How careless. My eyes roll into the back of my head as I keep a firm grasp on the little kid and slip through the gate towards the mini version of a barn.

"Honestly how in the hell were you able to get out in the first place?" I huff, opening the door. I will have to go look around where it could have escaped. My eyes turn up as I hear another baa, freezing as I spy Gray sitting at the back of the barn with all the Petting Zoo animals more than happily cuddling up to him. His eyes widened, startled as he clutches a little bunny in his gentle hands.

" ... what are you doing here, Gray?" Don't tell me he left me and then came straight here to the Petting Zoo while I went off bawling my eyes out. I think I just might actually kill him. Gray opens his mouth to speak but pauses, looking away.

"I ... wanted to come see you. But not before I've thought things through," he says, holding the bunny up to his chest and holding it for emotional support. Really now this is just pathetic. My heart aches as I do my best to wrap it up in a protective shield but it easily breaks under the sheer sight of the ex-assassin Role Holder cuddling up with all the little animals.

"And?" I say, staring at the mass of adorable baby animals laying around him. If I wasn't pissed at him I would be shrieking and freaking out over how cute this scene is. It's like he's Sleeping Beauty with all the animals crowding around him. Or was it Snow White? I nervously gulp, bracing for the inevitable words along the lines of 'let's break up'. My chest tightens as I bite my inner lip, struggling to hold back my tongue. I ... I really don't want to let him go bu-but if he's not committed like I am a-and, and-! Tears pricked my eyes as I look away, unable to bear looking at him face to face for when he says the words. His silences weighs down heavier and heavier on my shoulders as I just wait through the excruciating silence. Say it, just say it and get it over with already-!

" ... I want to take you on a date, Jackie." He states, making my entire chest seize up to the point I can hardly breathe. D-Date? Date? He wants a date now? Oh no. Does he want to take me on a date and give me a taste of my own medicine? Is that it? O-Or does he still want to be with me despite my blow up at him? I-If that's the case ... that's good, right? But why is there no harsh words or scolding to go along with it? I was expecting him to verbally and maybe literally shred me to pieces the next time he saw me. Unless this is his way of trying to let me down easy? I suck in a deep breath, quelling my rambunctious mind to focus it on the task at hand.

"Give it to me straight, Gray. Are ... we over or do you want to make this work?" I ask, nervous as I set the goat down and watch it playfully prance around before leaning on my leg, trying to balance on top of my shoe. I gently push it off with my other foot trying to be serious while the kid attempts to do the same thing again. Gray's eyes soften as he stands up, setting the baby bunny down. I tense up, waiting for some sharp retaliation as he walks up to me. He very gently reaches for me, seeming hesitant to touch me.

"I love you, Jackie. I love you and I want to make this work. I've been a terrible boyfriend and I want to make it up to you tonight." He says, gently pulling me into a hug. My body melts in his arms from his sweet words as I very hesitantly set my head against his shoulder. He's very warm ... but, is this going to work out?

"I do too," I admit before pulling back, "which is why I want to put down ground rules. I-," I start before he pecks me on the lips, silencing me surprisingly effectively.

"Please, Jackie. Let me spoil you tonight. I want to show you how sorry I am for everything I've done up until this point. Please?" He asks, gently cupping my cheek before kissing my nose. My mind flutters around his hot kisses as my eyes roll back, practically overwhelmed by his sweet words and nice smell. I-I shouldn't ... he's bad news, he really is despite all this sweetness in the air. But why does this entire situation have to be filled with such large gray areas?!

" ... I-I still want to set some rules," I hesitantly say, feeling his arm slide around to the base of my spine and hug me close. Is he really forgiving me for yelling at him only a few hours earlier? Did what I say really strike a cord in the assassin?

"And I couldn't agree more. But for now may I please spoil you and get your attention back onto me?" He asks with a gentle tone, sliding his fingers behind my neck before kissing my forehead. My chest squeezes as I honestly struggle to take a black or white standpoint on this but it is so difficult to tell if he's just pushing off me making some rules or if he just doesn't want to stress about all the bad stuff and put more stress on me and just ... stress. Stress, stress stress is what this whole situation is. I-I want rules. At least a few. B-But he is just trying to be nice and make me not stress and feel horrendous for a little bit so I guess it's alright. But tomorrow I am setting down rules and even he won't be able to convince me to put it off for another minute.

" ... fine," I say after a moment of floundering under his finger tips. Whoa~ I swear it's like my resistance to him has gotten weaker. But I really don't care. I'm so happy that he ... that he doesn't hate me for freaking out on him. "I want to apologize too, Gray," I say, looking off to the side, "I shouldn't have lied about going to Hatters. I didn't want you to stress and-,"

"Stop apologizing, Jackie," Gray gently smiles as he cups my cheek and presses his warm mouth against mine. My eyes widen slightly, feeling my apology shrivel up into a tiny ball stuck in my throat. "I just want to make you feel good tonight. And then tomorrow we can make some rules we will both agree on. Deal?" He says, sweeping a piece of hair behind my ear. A soft smile pulls my lips up as I thump my head against his shoulder, sucking in all the warm fuzzies attacking my heart. Ah~ there he goes again making me feel all warm and fluffy on the inside. Go ahead, warm fuzzies, take my heart and make it feel better. I'm tossing care to the wind and going with the flow for right now because my gut instinct seems to be going on the fritz lately.

"Yeah. I can do that. But tomorrow, definitely," I say with a playfully stern expression as he lets out a soft laugh.

"Good. Now let's go. I've got a surprise for you in town," he says, pulling out a blindfold.

"So~ where are we going?" I ask for probably the 50th time so far as snow crunches under my boots. We stopped by Clover Tower so I could change into some warmer clothes. It's funny how he refused to take the blindfold off as he slipped on my jacket and, as embarrassing as it was, changed my pants to some thick leggings. His kisses had tickled my skin and if I didn't stop him we probably would have spent a little bit more of an intimate time together instead of an actual date. But, like a gentleman, he stopped.

"We are almost there." He says, gently guiding me down a sidewalk. I happily trail along with him, very curious as to where he is taking me. The drabble of people slowly became more quiet as he takes me to what I'm guessing is a somewhat secluded area. Are we going to get a little naughty first? My cheeks flush as I mentally slap myself. Now who's the pervy one here? UGH! Emotions! Stop being all over the place I don't need this right now!

His arm softly pulls my back and holds me still. I hold my breath, excited as his mouth presses against mine and the blindfold falls away from my face. My eyes crack open as I push forward, wrapping my arms around his shoulders and hugging him. His hands clutch onto my sides as he more vigorously pushes back into the passionate kiss, running a teasing tongue along my lip before pulling back, short of breath as he laughs.

"Someone seems quite eager to continue where we left off at the tower," he teasingly murmurs, visibly licking his lips and sending a reverberating shiver down my spine. Too much? But, but ... oh honestly my brain just can't make up its mind lately.

"I really don't know what I want anymore to be honest," I heavily sigh, a little embarrassed I nearly attacked him right then and there. I was pissed at him a few time changes ago and yet he's able to make me want to rip his shirt off and make out with him a little while later. His skills at pacifying situations are impressive.

"I am perfectly fine with continuing but I am going to hold back tonight," he teases, very lightly licking my cheekbone, "I will wait for you to beg me for it ... ah, no, never mind," he says, pulling back with a flush on his cheeks, "this is one of our first proper dates," he says with a smile, holding his arm out for me to take, "you truly do drive me crazy, Jackie, so much so I can hardly control myself. Forgive me." He pleads with a sheepish smile, melting my knees right there on the spot. Oh, oh ow, my heart, he's being just too cute right now.

"There's nothing to forgive, Gray. Thank you," I counter with a smile, feeling the lovey doveyness flattening me like a steam roller just ran my butt over. I happily take his arm before looking up between the buildings to look around where we actually are. Strung between the buildings are lights zigzagging from building to building to form a small, breathtaking pathway of lights. My lips part as my smile falls, recognizing the patterns to be a whole lot like the Christmas lights between the buildings around my home.

"It's beautiful," I breathe, feeling the happy nostalgia seep through my bones. One of the happier childhood dreams I had was walking down the alleys with the lights strung up like this and pretending I was like a princess in those Disney princess movies. It's all silly really but it was so nice to pretend for at least a little bit. And would you look at that, I've got my own prince charming showing me the very thing I loved as a child. I snicker under my breath and lightly squeeze Gray's arm while holding my tongue. I don't want to sound too sappy in front of Gray. He stays quiet and leans down, kissing my forehead as I soak in the beautiful lights for a little bit.

"Come with me, princess. There is somewhere else I want to take you to." He says, slipping his fingers between my own. My happy little princess dream pops like a balloon as I come back down to reality. Oh ... oh, gosh that was a little embarrassing did I really just imagine myself in a princess costume and Gray in shining armor? ... pffft ... he would look good in it though. Oh gosh I swear I am starting to sound not at all like myself. It's like I'm reverting to my childhood fantasies but I can't help it; these lights sparked something in me.

We walk in silence as he takes me through the pathway lit up by the lights. My eyes remain glued to the fascinating display of lights that only comes once a year for Christmas. So cool ... but how did Gray know I would enjoy this? Did he ask Nightmare for help?

"Close your eyes again, Jackie," Gray whispers into my ear, sending warm shivers of delight down my spine. I'm acting so strange. I hated him a few hours ago and now, now I feel just ... warm and wonderful. Why? Why this sudden change in me and how was Gray able to turn my sad emotions to such happy ones so quickly? I feel like I'm floundering in the dust trying to figure out when he was able to crawl past the barricades in my heart. Ugh ... seriously, too much thinking and analogies on my part.

Why don't I just enjoy what's in front of me right now and just stop thinking for a bit?

A cold touch of icy cold makes my skin prickle stand up as he pushes my hair back and fastens something cool to the touch around my neck. A necklace? He got me jewelry?

"Gifts are long overdue, I know. But I want you to enjoy this, please," he says. I jump slightly as he kisses my eye lid and tilts my head to the side. "You can open your eyes now, Jackie." My eyes crack open, widening immediately as I spy a giant Christmas tree in the center of the large plaza. My jaw drops, shocked at the sheer mass of the nostalgia hitting me with all the beautiful lights and decorations on it. My chest squeezes, briefly remembering my father taking me and Jay out to see the giant Christmas tree centered in New York. It's ... smaller but still just as beautiful and breathtaking as the one I used to go see with my family.

"D-Do you not like it?" Gray asks, sounding a little flustered as I gently pick up the necklace he placed on me, spying a little bright gold and diamond encrusted lizard on it.

"I-I-It's beautiful-!" I suck in a fast breath as tears literally spill over my eyelids. This is ridiculous that I'm crying over th-thi-this but at the same time, I'm so touched, just so, so touched by this all and-and-! "How? Gray, how did you know about the alley wi-with the lights and the, the C-Christmas tree and-!" I cry, literally feeling my fingers tremble from the surge of emotions ripping through me. This is really something I did not expect from him especially not after how I treated him. He's so sweet, really, really he's too sweet-! "Thank you-!" I hiccup, sucking in a few fast breathes as I wipe off my eyes. I can't believe this is bringing me to tears but I, I'm so happy!

"Jackie? You like it? Then why are you crying?" He asks, clearly just as confused as I am with my tears as he presses a handkerchief to my nose and mouth.

"I'm so happy," I whisper into the handkerchief, wiping my cold nose off with before folding it over and dabbing my tears. "It's ... so silly, that I'm crying over this but, but I'm really happy." I sniffle, trying to bring myself back together. I absolutely have to be PMSing like no other because these emotional rollercoasters are off the charts.

"I'm so happy you are happy, Jackie," Gray says with a broad smile. Oh man this whole situation just seems so cheesy when I think about it. I smile and laugh at the thought under my breath, dabbing the handkerchief to my nose again. "Jackie, I want your forgiveness. I've been childish and immature, giving you doubts about our relationship. I do truly care for you and I don't know what else to do to make up what I did to you after fighting so hard to get you in the first place." He says, pausing as he assess my reaction. I stand there and silently listen to his apology. Well he's right about that. But ... he's not the only one in the wrong here. "I don't deserve a woman as talented and amazing as you are while I have hurt you both emotionally and physically. There is no excuse for my behavior. That's what I thought earlier when I suggested that we break up and go back to being friends," he says, referring to his stupid decision earlier. "But the memories of being together, knowing you were there for me at all times and the feeling of your skin and warmth is something I will never be able to forget even if you reject me now," he says, sucking in a deep breath in preparation for himself. Wait, what? He thinks I'm going to break it off after the necklace and all this emotion rampaging through me right now? He gently cups my face, sliding his hands down and oh so gently grasp my shoulders. "If you walk away I understand. However, I still want you for you. Not because you are a foreigner but because you are Jackie." He says, gently pulling me into a hug so soft I could easily break free if I chose to. I stay completely silent and listen to his words, judging his genuine intentions. "I love you and want you, Jackie." I pull the handkerchief away, trying to organize my thoughts. He thinks he's the bad guy in all this and not me at all?

"I apologize too, Gray, for the lying and misunderstandings. I was so angry that I did not know what to do so I blew up at you after letting the stress build up," I guiltily admit but that's about as far as my remorse goes, "but to be completely honest it's going to take a little while for me to get the feelings I had before, Gray. I'm hurt," I say, feeling his love penetrate the hurt wrapped around my heart. This is definitely a good start, though. And with this I really feel like we can be a better couple together. Will this be a mistake? Who knows.

Only time will tell.

I understand this is a little quick to wrap up that blow up and I've got missed opportunities to make the story more juicy, as you may think, but I've got my reasons and this is where I decided to go after mulling over my options. I wanted to make this romance a little less black and white and give it a lot more gray areas (lol pun there) with a more mature and realistic touch since I know most relationships are FULL of gray areas and not all decisions are clean cut. This is just my humorous touch on reality while keeping to the fun Wonderland we know and love as the HNKNA fandom :D

What do you think is going to happen at the Halloween party? Will Tawnya make her come back? Is Elliot going to make a ground shaking move to twist things the way he wants them? 10 REVIEWS to find out~