Dear Diary,
There is too much mud in this world. I know because I'm wearing most of it right now. We've been traveling for a whole day and with every mile, we've been getting farther and farther away from my home. Now, I am completely lost. Even if I did manage to break away from my captors, I would probably find myself recaptured – this time by ogres who like girls slow roasted with honey and garlic sauce. After all, that's just the kind of week I've been having.
Things are getting from bad to worse. My three days of imprisonment passed without me being able to come up with a single plan. I am through with self-pity. Three days is more than enough and I've finally come to my senses again. Unfortunately, it's a little late. I was brought before Sir Wilbur (how on earth did he get a knighthood anyway?) and I gave him my 'blessing': "You will receive all you deserve." I thought it wasn't too bad. However, he wanted me to give him strength and courage and good-looks and… I told him I only give those blessings at christenings. Amazingly, he accepted that. Feeling confident with my success, I decided to tell him about the 'love potion'. That had to be the most stupid thing I've ever done. It didn't work the first time, I don't know why I thought it would work a second time. He believed me but now, I'm being carted all over the countryside 'lending my presence' to the quest. This is what happened last time – why didn't I learn?
I'm starting to run out of cryptic phrases. Sir Wilbur keeps asking me for clues and I've already made up loads of drivel about the stars and the moon aligning with moss on ponds and that sort of thing. Luckily, he was expecting nonsensical verse for the answers to his questions so I've managed to avoid answering anything directly. I'm starting to forget what I've said though and I can't keep this up forever.
Right now, the lot of them think that I'm composing spells on this stack of looseleaf that I grabbed from my tower room before we departed. I know that they won't peek at these sheets so I feel somewhat safe writing all this down…
I've found out the name of the first knight who tried to kidnap me – Sir Conan. He's also part of Sir Wilbur's entourage but incredibly enough, he doesn't recognize me! I certainly recognized him – I beaned him with an apple after all. I didn't know whether or not to be insulted. He's only eighteen and was just knighted. How many damsels has he tried to rescue anyway? Were there so many that he couldn't remember me? For some reason, that doesn't sound flattering.
Althea? I thought I just heard… We are nearing Althea. We've traveled that far? No wonder my bottom is sore…
Cousin Farley lives in Althea. If I can just get to her, maybe I'll have a chance of escape! Okay, that's the new plan: Cousin Farley. Now, how am I going to convince a band of knights to visit a dressmaker…
Author's Note: Nothing much to say this time. I'm in a good mood so I decided to update. This is one of those things that I can write in one sitting. Tell me what you think! All the other usual stuff applies...
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