Disclaimer: the author does not, in any way, profit from the story and all creative rights to the characters belong to their original creator(s).

Author's Note: It was a rough day for me: not ONE of my authors updated! But I couldn't do that to you guys. Do I get a thank you?

8

House ambled into the kitchen, where Cameron was already cooking up a storm. He retrieved two wine glasses from the cabinet and a bottle of white wine from the fridge.

"Who was that?"

"A local pimp. When I break pattern, he frets. Wine?"

"Please." She warmed some butter in a saucepan. "So I'm disturbing your Sunday routine?"

"Amber will be devastated. Tonight was her turn."

"And how long has she been waiting for a turn?"

House smirked. "I'm not sure, but she was certainly more patient someone I know."

With his right hand, he reached for a piece of the crisp bacon she was staking on paper towels, but she slapped his wrist. "That's for the pasta!" He wrapped his left arm around her waist and succeeded in snagging a piece.

"One piece won't matter," he whispered, face grazing her hair. He stepped back to watch her mince the garlic.

She took a deep breath to recover from his proximity. "I couldn't find the pepper?"

He opened one of the upper cabinets. "You mean we have this many bags, and there's still something you don't have?" He pulled out a red and green striped gift bag and placed it on the counter for her.

"What's this?" She fished around in the tissue paper to reveal a salt shaker and pepper mill.

"Wilson's wife gave me that for Christmas."

"I can understand not cooking, but you don't use salt and pepper?"

"Take-out comes with packets."

"Right." She dumped the pasta into the strainer.

"I'll set the table while you finish up."

"I can't wait to see the gift bag the plates come out of," she called after him.

House carried in their wine and set out the plates and silverware. His hands hovered over the candlesticks, indecisive. They hadn't done so well by candlelight last time. He left them in the drawer. Instead, he decided to set the mood with some music. He chose some gentle jazz piano. Suddenly the smell of Cameron's pasta sauce hit him, and his mouth began to water. He turned to find her coming in with the pot.

When House got his first bite, he moaned with pleasure and looked at Cameron appreciatively. She smiled. "Better than scotch and mentos?"

"Competitive, certainly. Do you always cook so--elaborately?"

"Rarely. I was treating myself after my disaster outing with Parker."

"That bad, eh?"

She rolled her eyes. "Pretentious-ville was only the first stop on our tour. I also saw Self-important Land and the Pompous Pavilon…the guy would NOT shut up about himself."

House's ego couldn't get enough of her review of her date. "And the wine?"

"Jesus. Okay, there is good wine and bad wine, and I'm sure there are many subtle levels. But please. 'I detect a fruity note?' Don't we all."

House lost control and laughed so hard in the middle of a sip that wine shot out his nose.

"Are you okay?"

House coughed into his napkin, trying to stifle his laughing so he could breathe. His face was red. "I'm fine…please, continue."

"The worst part is he was so vapid, you know? I asked him why he chose to specialize in pediatrics—"

House cut her off. "Lemme guess. He loves kids."

"And that's all he has to say about it! Just—vapid."

"Mmm-hmm," House said through a mouth full of pasta.

"So we met some of his pretentious wine buddies there, and one of them had just got a new car."

House nodded his encouragement that she continue.

"And Parker is all, 'I can't understand why you didn't get a Mercedes Benz,' and I laugh right, because—"

"Ron White," House interrupted.

"Exactly. I thought he was quoting stand-up. But they all just stared at me!"

House had been worried that they would find nothing to discuss. Happily, conversation naturally flowed from favorite stand-up comics, to Wilson's comical collection of neckties, to Wilson's comical collection of ex-wives, and from there to other hospital gossip.

"Actually, Chase has a date tonight with Parker's ex, Dr. Becky."

"Judging by the way Parker bad-mouthed her she's probably wonderful."

House laughed. "Certainly better than he deserves."

"How did they meet, I wonder. She's a cardiologist."

House looked at his now long-empty plate. "He..may have thought I would be curious about Parker's romantic history."

Cameron laughed and shook her head. "Oh yes, I remember you said he wasn't flawed. Little did you know."

By this time, both had finished eating, and House began to realize he had NO IDEA what to do when the meal ended. Cameron stood up and said, "I'm just going to use the washroom."

"First on the left." He took the opportunity her absence afforded to take the dishes to the kitchen. He opened the dishwasher and pilled the entire mess inside carelessly: empty packages and all. His cleaning service would take care of it. When she returned, he was giving the counter-tops a cursory wipe down.

She held up a bottle. "You use Honey and Almond?" she asked accusingly.

"I don't use it, I possess it. And don't start with me: I saw you in the personal care aisle." She shook her head and returned the bottle to the bathroom.

Upon returning she approached him. She put her palms on his chest, and looked into his eyes. "You like me," she said smugly.

He rolled his eyes in mock chagrin. "Rumbled."

He leaned down to kiss her, and she responded with much more enthusiasm and skill than he had imagined possible. Her hands slid down to his waistband and under the hem of his shirt.

He broke the kiss, breathing heavily. "Dr. Cameron!" he exclaimed, the shock in his voice only half mocking.

She arched a sly eyebrow. "Dr. House," she answered.

"To be honest, I'm not quite sure what to do with you at this point."

"Which one is the bedroom?"

"You said you don't put out on the first date!"

She turned and went off to find it without his help. She threw over her shoulder, "I said rarely, and this is our third date." House idly wondered which of their non-date experiences she was counting.

He popped a Vicodin, smiled, and shook his head. He had no choice but to follow her.

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TBC.