Rowan jabs the play button with his thumb just as Peeta and I get comfortable on the couch. The countdown to the games goes on and I feel like it goes by much too fast and we immediately launch from our places around the cornucopia. Rowan watches in horror as the fighting begins. Willow covers her eyes, slightly peeking out from behind her hands. Just like that their innocence was drained from their eyes. Peeta and I exchange a look as he runs for the trees and I head for the cornucopia. Suddenly everyone is frozen, though. Rowan turns to us. "Did you kill anyone?"

The question must be answered carefully. I can't say 'yes' and I can't lie because he'll see I'm fibbing when he watches more. I'm grateful that Peeta answers for both of us, "It wasn't a choice, Rowan. This is why everyone was so sad. It was either kill or be killed."

"You could've gotten out without killing anyone. You could've waiten until the final two, then you would've won."

"Rowan, honey," I begin, "It wasn't like that. If I we hadn't killed anyone, we'd be dead. Your dad got out kinda easy, he only killed one person. But I had to kill a couple more."

"Well, kind of two, I guess."

"I don't know," I say. "I don't really count her it was kind of an accident."

"Yeah, I guess, but I still killed her." he says, closing his eyes tightly and shaking his head

"I don't really care right now, you didn't have to kill anyone," he says. "You chose to."

"Rowan." Peeta warns.

"Let's just finish watching." Willow suggests.

Just at that perfect time, Haymitch stumbles in with a bottle of alchohal.

"Does he know about this?!" Rowan shouts.

"Yep," Haymitch answers, sitting in a chair and raising his bottle. "Lived it myself."

"You mean you killed people, too?"

"Yeah, had to. Took a girl's eye out, chopped off her head."

Rowan winces.

"Wait how far are you guys?" Haymitch asks.

"Cornucopia," Peeta answers, sighing, "He hasn't exactly seen that stuff, yet."

"You're lucky," Haymitch tells him. "You're the first generation who doesn't have to live through this in 75 years."

"Wait," Willow says, grabbing the tape,"This is the 74th. There's only one more?"

"Haymitch," I warn him. "They can ask questions after we watch the 75th. We're just trying to get through these, first."

"Apparently not very well, I saw the ambulence. Breadboy have an attack?"

"No, it was Katniss, she fainted."

"Dad has attacks?" Willow asks. We all turn to her but don't answer the question. Instead, Haymitch continues.

"Not this again, Sweetheart. What happened, loose too much blood?" he chuckles. "Or did Johanna try to kill you again?"

"Aunt Jo tried to kill you!?" Rowan exclaims.

"No, not really." I tell him, thinking of how to put it without telling him everything too soon.

He stands up and starts going up the stairs.

"Where are you going, Rowan?" Peeta asks sternly.

"To ask Aunt Jo, apparently I can't get any answers down here!"

Peeta and I exchange a look and run after him with Willow close behind. When we reach the room Johanna, Leo, and Henry are in they're just past the cornucupia as well. Right now, it's focused on the careers who are hunting for the stronger tributes first. Leo pauses it when he sees Rowan rush in with us on his tail.

"Did you try to kill Mom?" he asks abruptly.

"Who told you tha-" she stops in the middle and rolls her eyes. "Who invited Haymitch?"

"Who do you think?" Peeta asks, nudging me with his arm.

"So?" Rowan asks again.

"No, not really," Johanna answers before smirking. "She thought I was."

"That's what Mom said!"

"Well, that's what happened," I tell him. "Now leave them to finish watching the tape."

After Rowan was pulled down the stairs and flung back on the couch, it was Peeta who jabbed the button on the remote that played the tape.

"So, how did that go?" Haymitch asks before taking another swing from his bottle.

"Lovely." I tell him, throwing a sarcastic smile his way before turning to the screen again. I watch my 16 year-old self fight for a backpack, and the other boy get stabbed in the back by Clove. Willow winces as a knife leaves Clove's hand and tries to hit my head. She sighs when I quickly adjust the backpack to take the blow. We all watch me run to the woods as the blood bath drags on. It keeps on going until the careers are the only ones left sitting at the cornucopia and everyone else is off hiding in the woods.

As the camera focuses on me again I see myself in a tree, tying myself in. The camera then darts around to different people, until it lands on the Career pack that night. I know they're near me because of the girl who lit the fire. I see Cato toss Glimmer a knife and she stabs the girl. I remember hearing her scream, but not a cannon. They keep going until someone speaks.

'Are you sure she's dead, Glimmer?'

'Of course she's dead.'

'Why didn't we hear the cannon, then?'

'Hey, Lover Boy,' Cato says to Peeta. 'Go see if she's dead.' Peeta nods and goes back to see the girl still alive but bleeding. We watch as Peeta proceeds to kill her quickly, causing a cannon to go off. The Peeta beside me looks down but I give his hand a reassuring squeeze. Peeta then runs back to the Careers.

'Was she dead?' Marvel asks.

'No, but she is now.' Peeta presses his free hand into his eyes, shaking his head.

Finally, it comes back to me in the morning, when they light a fire around me. Willow gasps loudly, "Oh my gosh! They can't do that, can they?"

"I guess they can." I sigh as I jump from the tree quickly with my backpack and run from the fire. I watch myself run and dodge falling trees. I know I, of all people should see it coming, but I jump when one of the gamemakers decides to throw flaming balls of fire at me. Willow covers her eyes and Peeta even winces. Haymitch and I are the only ones who saw that coming. Rowan sits there looking down, possibly contemplating what everyone told him about these games. Maybe now he understands why I killed people.

"I forgot about this." Peeta says, "You only told me once, but I completely forgot about it."

"I can't forget. I still have that scar. I don't know what they did to that fire but it was hot enough to leave a scar."

"You didn't even get burned, though." Rowan states questioning my prior words.

"Just wait." I say just in time for the fire to reach my thigh and burn me. It zooms in on the burn and the kids both shut their eyes tightly. Peeta puts his hand on my thigh exactly where I was hit, and exactly where the scar was left. He looks at me with hurt and saddness and I lean my head on his shoulder before touching the part of his leg where Cato cut.

By the time we look back at the screen I'm already in the water and the careers are just spotting me. But as Marvel is letting the others know he sees me he's frozen.

"Why were you with them, anyway, Dad?" Rowan asks. Peeta starts to say something but I stop him.

"Because he wanted to stay alive, and he loved me."

"How does this help you?" Willow asks.

"If you just watch, you'll see."

After I say this, Rowan plays the tape and the Careers begin laughing at me.

'Where 'ya going, Girl on Fire?' Cato shouts.

'You can't run from us, Katniss!' Clove yells, or was it Glimmer? I can't tell because everyone seems to have a similar commment to scream at me.

"Are they going to hurt you, Mom?" Willow asks worriedly as the Careers chase me with their countless weapons with Peeta close behind with a knife in hand.

"Just watch, Willow."

I watch myself climb a high tree, going as far as the branches will allow.

'Get her, Cato! Kill her!' Clove screams as Cato begins to climb the tree.

'Come on, Cato, kill her!' Glimmer shouts.

'Kill her, Cato!' Marvel joins in, shouting encouragement to Cato. Cato continues climbing until he reaches a branch too thin to hold his weight. With that he falls the long way to the ground. Rowan and Peeta laugh at his defeat.

'I'll do it myself.' Glimmer mutters, clearly annoyed as she loads an arrow into a bow, aiming it at me. Willow winces just before Glimmer lets the arrow fly straight up, missing me by a centimeter. I find myself not watching Glimmer as she does this, but watching Peeta. He looks sort of panicked and relieved all at the same time. He was probably relieved that he wasn't going to be the one to kill me.

'Guys let's just wait her out,' Peeta tells them, turning their heads. 'She's gotta come down at some point, it's that or starve to death.'

Willow turns to us like she's going to ask us something, but then she doesn't, she just turns back to the screen.

'Alright,' Cato says, frustrated with me, 'Somebody make a fire.'

The camera must feel that this has become uninteresting so they skip around to some other tributes until that night. They focus on me in the tree for awhile, dabbing the burn with precious water until I get a parachute from Haymitch.

"What's that?" Willow asks.

"It's a gift from the sponsers Haymitch got us."

"Sponsers?"

"Just watch, Willow," Peeta tells her.

We watch as I climb the tree and get the parachute from Haymitch. I open it up and a look of relief washes over my face then I stick my finger in it and rub it on my leg. When I finish I fall asleep and the Careers soon put out their fire and do the same.

In the morning I'm woken by Rue and it's too much for me to handle at that point. I burst into sudden sobs and Peeta strokes my hair, whispering soothing things in my ear. I hear Rue whisper when I calm down a little and my tears run silently. She motions for me to cut it down and drop it on the Careers.

"What's a bee hive going to do? It's not like it'll kill them," Rowan says.

'Caudius I think those are tracker jackers, am I wrong?' Caesar asks Claudius when it cuts to them.

'Oh. Those are very lethal,' Claudius answers.

'For those of you who don't know, tracker jackers are genetically engineered wasps whose venom causes seering pain, powerful hallucinations, and in extreme cases: Death.'

"Oh," Rowan says. We all watch as I climb the tree and begin to cut the nest down.

Oh my gosh! I think you guys owe me a thank you! I worked really hard on this and I hope you all enjoy it, please, please, please review and follow my twitter ducksquackloud! I was so excited when I finally got to the tracker jackers, I feel like that's the first milestone in the games so I'm very happy. Shoot for 50 reviews? I love you all, my lovely readers!