Bpov
It had been a nearly sleepless night and I really wasn't in the mood to be working but I didn't have a choice. The day went by at a snails pace. I wasn't sure if I was tired from lack of sleep or the rush of emotions the situation brought on. I was happy he'd shared such a personal experience with me but on the other hand I was dealing with feeling unworthy and extremely insignificant. My boyfriend was looking for a way to cure cancer and I couldn't program my TVIO. All day I had tortured my self with every woman that walked by. I compared myself to them in all the wrong ways, I knew it was unhealthy but I was feeling extremely insecure and couldn't help it. Every time I saw one of those beautiful down town woman in there designer suits and designer shoes I thought about how much better they would look next to Edward. When I couldn't take it anymore I left work early and went home. Alice was laying on the couch with her lap top. I dropped my keys and purse on the table.
"You, Missy ditched out on work early. I'm proud of you." Alice announced from behind her computer. Alice had the best job of all of us. As a freelance photographer she worked from home most of the time and made a nice pay check doing it. I plopped down next to her.
"What"s wrong?" Alice asked me, her pixie face full of concern.
"You wouldn't believe me if I told you.." I laid back against the couch. Snuggling in closer to corner of it. Her laugh tinkled around the living room.
"Oh yeah. Try me." I sighed and looked up at the clock. It was almost four, Rose would be home soon and I might as well tell them together.
"I'm going to go change. I'll explain when Rose gets home.." I yawned and climbed off the couch slumping to the stairs. I tugged my tired body up the steps to my room and changed my clothes. I laid down for a few minutes in my hoodie and pants from the night before. My hoodie smelled softly like Edward and it made me smile. I closed my eyes and Edwards smiling face entered my mind. I missed him. I wrapped my arms tight over myself and hugged my knees against my stomach. Rose knocked lightly on my door and let herself in.
"I'm home. Alice said you wanted to talk to us." she said softly. I nodded but didn't look at her. I realized that Rose was much better suited to be by Edward's side. I moved off the bed when Rose went to change her clothes. Alice was waiting with her laptop in the same spot on the couch. I sat down on the floor. Rose came and sat down with Alice.
"Alright woman, spill it." Alice commanded.
"You are not going to believe it." I told them. Rose smiled slightly and folded her arms over her chest.
"Try us." Rose challenged. I leaned back on my hands.
"Edward is a multimillionaire who made his millions trying to cure cancer with nano technology after his mom died of breast cancer." I spat out in one breath. Alice and Rose's faces held the same expression of disbelief. Rose spoke first.
"That cant be right honey. He works for Emmett's family." she said. I nodded.
"I know he does but it's a cover. He likes to do charity work but he cant work as closely as wants to if he does it under his name so he appears to work for them handling his Aunt's various charitable donations." I looked at the floor.
"He's got all this money but he moved here to 'work' for Mrs. Cullen? That dosent make any sense." Alice commented. I sighed.
"I know it doesn't but there was this girl, Tanya Denali. She used Edward for his money and his press so he dumped her and moved here. He said they were the it couple of the social scene in Chicago." I couldn't meet the stares of my two best friends.
"What was her name again?"Alice asked sitting up a little higher on the couch.
"Tanya Denali." I replied softly. Even her name was gorgeous. Alice's fingers typed furiously over the keyboard. I got up on my knees.
"Ali what are you doing?" I asked her. She smiled wide.
"I am goggling the skank to see what was before you." she commented. Rose moved over behind her to see. I moved back down on to my bottom.
"I don't want to see." I said softly.
"You have got to be curious." Rose stated.
"Oh I found something!" Alice squealed.
"Playboy millionaire out with publicist, Tanya Denali at charity dinner to benefit Aids awareness." Rose read the caption under the photo then whistled.
"What? Is she that beautiful?" I asked sourly. Rose turned the computer to me. I squeezed my eyes shut tight trying not to look. The sick part of me won however and I did look. She was very tall and thin. Her strawberry blond hair was pulled away from her high sculpted cheek bones and full lips. She smiled at the cameras, Edward looked away. He was stunning in the picture of course.
"She's had a lot of work done." Rose told me. She came over and sat down next to me.
"First of all, this photo is totally airbrushed." Alice explained.
"Those my dear are fake. And she's had her nose and cheek bones done." Rose pointed at her breasts and then her other observations. I looked closer trying to see what my friends saw. All I saw was someone much better suited to be with Edward. Alice took back over the computer and looked at some more photos. She smiled brightly at one.
"Oh Bella. His mother was beautiful." Alice said softly. She turned the laptop so I could see and there was Elizabeth Mason. She was tall and fair with the same bronze colored hair as Edward. I noted immediately that he had her eyes. It was a family photo used for a news paper article about his father's murder. Alice read the article to us.
"His father was murdered?" Rose asked and her hand went to her mouth.
"Yeah.. He was a big time attorney and got a drug dealer locked up for life. The dealers brother killed Edward's dad." I shivered when I retold his tale and hugged my knees to my chest.
"they say it's never been solved." Alice said. I laid my chin on my knees.
"How does someone survive that?" I asked softly. Neither of them had an answer.
"So he's rich, successful, hot and he wants you. Why are you sitting here sulking with us?" Alice wanted to know.
"I'm not good enough for him." I said simply. Both of them started talking at once in an over whelming tidal wave of comments about my low self esteem.
"Guy's it's simple. He's smart. He's trying to cure cancer! He belongs with someone like Rose, Not like me." I wiped a stray tear from my cheek hoping they didn't notice. Rose stood up at once.
"Bella you deserve him just like he deserves to be happy." Rose took a deep breath and continued.
"Look at everything he's been through." she pointed to the article still up on Alice's computer. A thundering knock came from outside the front door. Alice answered it.
"Hi. Emmett." Alice's high voice rang. Rose was to busy telling me off for my own good to notice her boyfriend was there. He touched her shoulder softly, she turned and kissed his cheek.
"What did I interrupt? If you girls are fighting there really should be an inflatable ring and Jello involved." I heard a crack when Rose slapped Emmett in the back of the head.
"If he loves you and wants to be with you enough to trust you with this you have to let go of all your petty insecurities and let him in!" Rose said to me.
"Do you honestly think this could last? While he's attending charity fund raisers and benefits what am I supposed to do? Sit by and wait for him to meet someone that is better suited to him? That's asking to have my heart broken and I won't do it!"I told them. Alice closed her computer.
"I don't think you're giving Edward any credit at all." she stood up and went next to Rose. The two against one stance was familiar to me. Emmett came over and helped me from my sitting position on the floor and stood with me.
"He told you all of this because he loves you. He may not have said it but he does. Bella, you should of seen him yesterday. He was a wreck trying to figure out just the right way to ask you to be his. It was so important to him. No guy racks his brain like that for a girl he plans to use as a passing fancy until a model comes along." . My eyes turned to Alice.
"You saw him yesterday before he threw rocks at my window?" I asked her. She giggled.
"I did. He wanted to make sure what he did for you was never done before." She admitted.
"That's so sweet!" Rose commented. I shook my head.
"It doesn't change the fact that I wasn't made for this." I admitted. Rose groaned, clearly annoyed with my stubbornness.
"Maybe you weren't made for life styles of the rich and famous but maybe you were made for Edward." Rose cocked her head to one side.
"We are going to miss our movie. Rose go get ready. I'll talk to Bella." Emmett flashed her a grin. Rose rolled her eyes, giving him a small smile before she went up to her room.
"I'll go help her. Call me if you need me." Alice left us alone in the living room. Emmett regarded me carefully before he spoke.
"What's wrong?" it was a simple question with a complicated answer.
"Edward told me everything." I stated. Emmett let out a low whistle.
"Are you ok?" he asked me. I shook my head.
"Honey. It's only money and despite everything that's happened he's ok." Emmett smiled reassuringly.
"I don't care about the money and he turned out way better then ok. He's one of the most wonderful people Ive ever met." I sniffled and wiped my eyes again.
"Then what's the problem?" Em questioned.
" Getting involved with someone on Edward's level is asking for heart break" Em stared at me in total silence for a moment.
"Edward's level? What the hell does that even mean?" . I realized again how large he was. I knew he wouldn't hurt me but I still didn't want to make him mad.
"You know, his level, his league." I spread my arms out to my sides.
"You think Edward is out of your league?"Emmett asked me. I looked at the floor.
"Yeah I do." I said softly his face softened and he took a hold of my shoulders.
"He needs you. There isn't anything more to it then that. Something about you brings him to life. It's not about leagues or levels. He just needs you."Emmett smiled. I sniffed again. Rose came down dressed to go out on there date.
"I'm really tired. I am going to go lay down." A few minutes later I laid down in my bed, totally and completely exhausted.
Epov
I called Bella again with no answer. That made four calls with no answer. I slumped down on my chair at the office and took off my tie. Slinging it on my desk. My phone beeped with a text message.
Go to Bella's and see her NOW! - Em.
I dialed him back and waited impatiently for him to answer. I was shocked when someone else answered his phone.
"Hello Edward!" Rose greeted me.
"Uh hey Rose. What's going on?" I asked cautiously. She sighed and I could clearly tell she was annoyed.
"Em and I are on our way out to dinner. Bella's all upset." I could hear my cousin asking for the phone and Rose shoving his hand away.
"Oh god she doesn't want me anymore does she? I knew telling her everything about my past was going to make myself vulnerable to being hurt by her but I never actually thought she'd stop seeing me. I thought I could trust her." Rose surprised me by laughing.
"Um no she thinks she isn't good enough for you and she cried herself to sleep over it." I sucked in a sharp breath.
" Why does she think that?" I couldn't imagine a more beautiful warm caring woman then Bella. She was exactly what I wanted.
"I think she's just beating herself up." I didn't want that for Bella. I had to find a way to help her. I said goodbye to Rose and went to Bella's house.
Alice answered the door and urged me to be quiet with a finger placed to her lips.
"Sorry I don't want to wake her. She didn't sleep well and she's been emotional all day." Alice led me over to the couch, the laptop on the coffee table showed an article from the Chicago Sun about my family. Alice noticed that I saw it and shut it quickly.
"So you know everything then?" I asked her softly.
"I am really sorry about your parents Edward." she replied. I should be use to people giving me there condolences by now but it never got easier. I gave her a tight smile.
"I didn't think you guys would search me out on the INTERNET." I raised an eyebrow. Alice blushed..
"That was my fault and I apologize. I'm afraid I made things worse." Alice explained everything to me and when she was done my eyes went to the stairs. I wondered if Bella could hear us or if she was still sleeping. I wanted to see her, I wanted to make this ok.
"What can I do Alice?" I asked. She smiled slightly.
"I think the best thing is just to tell her how you feel. Her main worry is that she's not going to be enough." Alice stood up putting on her coat.
"I am going to your place. Rose and Em are out to dinner. Take this time alone with her to try and make it better." She ruffled my hair and left. I took a deep breath and went to Bella's room. She was turned on her side facing me. She laid on top of her covers hugging her knees slightly. I could see that her angel's face was covered in splotch marks. I caressed them gently and sat on the edge of her bed. I had to remind myself that there would be time to watch her sleep later.
"Bella? Wake up love. I need to speak with you." I brushed a stray hair off her face. She shivered in her sleep and smiled.
"Oh Edward." she sighed. Bella rolled over on to her back, leaning her head back, eyes still closed. I thought she was waking up but I could see now she was very much still asleep.. I smiled. She was dreaming about me and if her tiny sounds were any indication it was a very nice dream. Her tiny hand moved into her hair. Her sweat shirt rode up high on her body, I could see her lean flat stomach tremble as she took in a raged breath. I couldn't take anymore, I kissed her lips lightly. Her eyes fluttered open.
"Am I dreaming?" she asked me, still groggy.
"No baby, you aren't. Can we talk?" she nodded her head yes and sat up slowly. I scooted closer to her.
"I heard you had a rough day." my voice was low, trying to be soothing. Her eyes didn't meet mine. My fingers gently stroked her cheeks.
"Bella, you are everything I want. I know we haven't known each other long but I know we could be happy together." Her eyes met mine, for a moment I forgot to breath. She leaned her face into my hand and took a shuddering breath.
"I'm scared." she admitted. I moved over, kicked my shoes off and laid down with her. She snuggled over on to my chest. For the first time all day my body relaxed.
"What are you scared of love?" I gently stroked her arm. Her tiny fingers played with the buttons on my shirt..
"I don't want to get hurt again. I don't want to fall in love with you and find out I'm not enough." Her voice was so low and sad, my heart ached when she spoke. .
"I cant imagine ever hurting you. I think it would break my heart as much as yours. "I kissed her forehead gently. Bella turned her face up to mine. Acting on instinct alone I kissed her passionately. I poured everything I felt for her into the kiss, hoping to make her feel the words I never seemed to find. I broke the kiss, looking deep in her never ending brown eyes.
"I want to be with you." Bella's voice was just above a whisper. I smiled
I kissed her again.
"I'm not ever going to be like your girlfriends before." Having her so close to me was making it incredibly hard to concentrate.
"Thank god. They were nightmares." I laughed. She gave me a small smile that lifted the corner of her perfect lips.
"I don't have blond hair and long legs. I am totally average in every way." She was being so serious, it was adorable. I caressed her porcelain smooth skin.
"I don't want anyone but you and for the record I think your legs are perfect." I brushed the tip of my nose over the tip of hers.
"I prefer brunettes." I whispered. Bella laughed, running her hands down my chest.
I brushed my lips over her neck. She sighed happily.
"I want to make you feel beautiful. Let me try Bella, Please." I kissed her again. She ran her fingers into my hair. I broke the kiss, Bella exhaled slowly.
"I'm going to get my heart broken but when you kiss me like that I can't seem to care." she looked at me from under her lashes. My heart pounded in my chest. I wanted to take her. I wanted to make love to her in the most primal way, I wanted to physically make her mine. I looked down into her big brown eyes and knew that wasn't what she needed. She needed to be loved and to fall in love. I knew at that moment, when I could restrain myself for her sake that I was falling in love with her. I grinned at her but didn't tell her. It was to fast. Being in love again was something Bella had to come to on her own but when she did I'd be ready for her.
"I promise. I am going to do my very best to keep your heart safe. As long as it's mine." I caressed her cheek. She snuggled closer to me, she smelled like heaven.
"It's yours. Has been since the moment we met." she announced. I stroked her back.
"This will be our first night as an official couple." I observed with a smile. I loved the way it sounded, her and I together, a real couple.
"What would you like to do?" she wondered. I knew exactly what I wanted to do.
"I want to order Chinese and learn all about you." I informed her. Her face flushed.
"I'm not very interesting." Bella said. I pulled her up higher into my arms and chuckled.
"That's what you think." We both laughed.
Bpov
Edward and I sat on the living room floor, eating Chinese straight from the container. He said he wanted to learn everything about me, he questioned me endlessly on everything from when I learned to walk and talk to who my favorite professors were in college. I leaned back on my hands and smiled at him, waiting for another question.
"It's time to get serious." he gave me my favorite crooked smile.
"I'm in. ask away." I challenged.
"Past boyfriends, first to present, Go!" he sat his sweet and sour chicken on the table and mimicked my position. He rubbed his sock clad toe over the arch of my bare foot.
"I'll show you mine if you show me yours." I teased, moving my foot against his. He blushed.
"My first girlfriends name was Irina, I was 14 and then Tanya and now you." he licked his lower lip before he took another drink of his wine. I took a deep breath and smiled.
"Jake was my first kiss, Mike was my first boyfriend and now you." I took a sip of my wine hoping he didn't want to know details.
"Who's a better kisser, me or Jake?" he teased. I laughed.
"Oh you. Trust me. He was all tongues and hands and blah!" I stuck my tongue out for dramatic effect. Edward seemed pleased by that. He ran his foot up my calf. I bit my lower lip to stifle a moan.
"And your current boyfriend, how does he rank among the rest?" Edward got a wicked glimmer in his eyes when he was being playful. The more I saw it the more it turned me on.
"I think he's my favorite of all my boyfriends." I bit my lower lip and grinned. Edward sat his glass and food aside. He moved up on to his hands and knees and crawled to me. I pulled my legs up giving him room. He took my wrist and pulled me up on my knees, he came up on his and we met chest to chest.
"Why is he your favorite?" Edward wondered out loud. He brushed his lips over mine. My stomach tightened, my nipples puckered. There was something about just the slightest touch from him that turned me on.
"He's my favorite because he's sweet..." Edward kissed me. His magic hands ran over my sides lightly. I wrapped my arms around his neck.
"And he's kind....generous....amazing kisser.....loves his family.....puts up with my meddling, internet searching friends." I smiled at him. My heart skipped a beat when he looked in my eyes.
"Well you know my new girlfriend is pretty incredible." Edward ran the back of his fingers over my cheek.
"Oh is she?" I flirted. He bit his lip and nodded solemnly.
"She's beautiful, sweet, kind, sexy, charming. I could go on and on but I don't want you to get jealous."he chuckled. I ran my fingers over the back of his head, playing with his thick copper hair.
"Stay the night with me." I whispered on impulse. His smile was bashful and sweet.
"Yes but all we are going to do is sleep." he whispered still looking in my eyes.
"Love, I am going to be extra careful with you and that includes doing everything in a certain order." he told me. I listened intently for more of his explanation.
"I know you've been hurt and I know the jerk that hurt you made it all about your looks. To me you are gorgeous but I want to make sure I show how wonderful I think you are before I make love to you." he murmured.
"Edward, you don't have to stroke my ego. I'm a big girl." I murmured back. His mouth pulled up at one corner.
"You are a big girl with a bigger heart and I am going to take care of it remember?" he kissed both of my cheeks softly.
"Just stick with me. I promise when the time is right, it's gonna be you and me."his words made my skin tingle with anticipation. I nodded accepting his statement. He kissed me again. It was loving and tender, but there was want behind it. He wanted me....that was hard for my body and my mind to come to terms with. I broke the kiss with smaller ones and smiled against his mouth.
"What's first in this perfect order of yours?" I asked softly, he held me tighter and took a deep breath.
Edward looked deep into my eyes, he took my breath away.
"Will you come to dinner with my family Friday night? It's nothing formal. My Aunt loves to cook and she always makes to much....You'll be sitting with my uncle at the auction anyway..." Edward babbled nervously. I put my hand over his mouth.
"Yes. I'll come to dinner." I smiled. Edward kissed the palm of my hand before I removed it from his mouth. Edward pulled me down on the floor and kissing me endlessly before we spent our first night together.
A/N- Hi guys. I wanted to thank everyone who read, favorited,author alerted and reviewed my story. It makes everything so much easier and it's a real treat to wake up in the morning to kind reviews. I wanted to apologize also because this chapter was not proof read by my beta and I am fully aware there are mistakes. I don't write to be grammatically perfect, I write to tell a story and give you all some juicy Edward/Bella moments. Next chapter it's meet the Cullen's and the bachelor auction. Remember, reviews are like cookies, you can't eat just one. :)
