Chapter 8: The Build of Trust pt 2.
When I make it down stairs, I walk over to the couch to sit and wait for Brittany.
I guess if I were to really think about it, it is a little strange that I have my own place. The way I see it, there's a place for me to go when I need to be alone. It's where I go to take a step back and just be. That's why it's so open and allows me my space to breathe. I don't even keep food in the apartment, and I don't step upstairs unless it's to grab water. The only time I ever spend the night here is after I've completely overworked my body from dancing, or physically abusing my punching bag. Even then I barely make it to the couch before I collapse from exhaustion.
Every other night I crash at 'cedes. I keep my clothes there; I pay rent, buy food and do chores just like a normal roommate. Mercedes insisted that I take the extra room, but I much preferred the couch. Only because if someone were to come looking for me at 'cedes I'd be able to hear them coming and be ready. Or I'd be the first thing they see and hopefully they would just take me and leave without any harm befalling Mercedes.
I love Mercedes, she's like a sister to me and I would do anything to protect her. If there were ever a time where 'cedes no longer felt safe living with me, I would leave without question.
I clear my head from my thoughts and watch as Britt makes her way over. She sits on the other side of the couch and turns her body to face me while crossing her feet underneath her. I turn and mirror her position so we're face to face.
I wait for her to make the first move to give her full control over how this conversation will play out.
I watch as she studies my face. Her hands are fiddling with the bottom of her pants and her forehead is crinkled in concentration like she's trying to solving a really hard math equation.
Her eyes sparkle as she opens her mouth to ask— "What's your favorite color?"
I look at her for a second waiting to see if she's for real, she looks dead serious so I decide to play along.
"Green, what's yours?" I watch as she smiles. Her eyes sparkle in amusement.
"Blue, what's your favorite movie?"
"Breakfast at Tiffany's, yours?"
"Why Breakfast at Tiffany's?" she squints tilting her head in confusion.
"Because Holly Golightly is a person who sees the world for what it is in all its imperfections, never gets her hopes up or expects anything from anyone. She lives the life she wants and doesn't give a damn about what anyone thinks. There's something beautifully tragic about living life the way she does, something I whole heartedly respect."I shrug.
"And plus Audrey Hepburn is—" I breathe out sheepishly "beautiful".
"Aww your cute" Brittany giggles out.
"Shut up" I say, blushing profusely.
"Oh my god, stop" she says laughing.
"I'm not even doing anything" I chuckle out, shaking my head.
"Who knew you could be such a softy?" she says, making fun.
I shrug looking down at my hands.
"I like it" she whispers out.
I slowly bring my eyes back up to hers, she's smiling so soft, "Yeah?"
Her eyes sparkle as she nods "Yeah".
I look down smiling.
"So how long have you lived in New York?" Brittany asks.
"Born and raised" I say proudly, "I love New York! I wouldn't change it for the world. It's the only place that will always let me be myself without passing a single word of judgment.
"You?" I ask
"My dad and I moved here in May and opened the bar in July."
"And where did you guys live before?" I ask curious.
"Ohio" she says, sheepish.
"Oh" I laugh out "No wonder you moved, that's red neck city"
"Have you been?"
"My friend Mercedes used to live out there"
"So how were you able to open up the bar in two months time, that's like really fast?" I would think it takes a lot more time than that to open up a freaking bar like hers.
"We took out a loan" she says, looking away from me, "a loan we unfortunately are still in debt to".
"Well, hey loans always take time to pay off right? It's no big deal" I say, trying to get her to look at me.
"Hey" I try again, moving a little closer to her on the couch. I grab her hand that's resting in her lap, and squeeze "I'm sure you guys will come out on top".
She finally looks up at me "You really think?"
"Of course, don't you see how packed your bar always is? It's like the hot spot" I state, smiling.
"Yeah," she pauses looking up at me "those lines do get pretty crazy long" her lips pulling up into a smile.
"They totally do" I chuckle, agreeing.
A comfortable silence passes between us before I realize Brittany's hand is still in mine. I loosen my grip about to pull away when Brittany tightens her hold on mine, bringing her thumb up to brush across my knuckles.
"San," I look up into her eyes "why were those men chasing after you?" Brittany hesitates, but continues "The night we met?"
I take a deep breath, knowing that she'd ask eventually. I'm almost sad to answer because after I do, she might not feel the same about me. She may no longer want to be in my company or God forbid, she be afraid of me.
"I'm not a good person, Brittany" I look down and for the first time, I feel ashamed of the life I lead.
"Hey?" Brittany says, gently cupping my chin "Let me be the judge of that," I slowly look up into her eyes reading her face and seeing such sincerity "okay?" she asks.
I nod and breathe out, "Okay".
"Alright, why don't you start from the beginning?"
"I'm really just a pawn in the game" I begin.
"New York is divided up into three separate, I guess you could say, territories? And there are three separate people that are in charge of running those territories. The Motto's run the North side, Lopez's run the West side and half of the East, leaving Sylvester to run the other half of East and South side. Lastly Schuester, the middle man, communicates with all three. If any territory has business that needs to transfer through or to a different territory like a money transfer or a shipment coming in, Schuester is the man to call."
I pause to look at Brittany, hoping that she's understanding all that I've said so far. After she nods, I continue, "If ever someone from a different territory were to get caught on someone else's turf uninvited, well let's just say, they won't be coming back." I state.
"And for 50 years it's worked, until now." I say, bitterly. "Until people decided to be greedy, and take what's not theirs" I clench my fists in anger, "showing disrespect, and turning on their own blood" I say raising my voice. "Makes me so fuckin' sick," I trail off.
"San," Brittany says, moving closer, and squeezing my hand just that little bit tighter.
I close my eyes and breathe, "Anyway, now everything's turned to shit, I don't really know where anyone stands" I open my eyes looking at Brittany's baby blues "It's not safe for anyone involved".
"And how involved are you, San?" Brittany asks hesitantly.
"I-" I start, looking down "Brittany, my name is Santana Lopez, My dad and I…It's just…I'm...we are in charge of-"
"Oh…" Brittany breathes out.
"I should umm….probably bring you home now" I say pulling my hand back and standing up.
"Yeah maybe you should," I close my eyes feeling my heart sink, "But I don't want you to….."
A/N:
Sooooooooo What did ya think?
