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CHAPTER EIGHT.
The next day at work was a nightmare. There was such an atmosphere between Charlie, Maggie and I that I knew everyone could sense it. Perhaps I should've been professional and left my issues at the door, after all it wasn't good for the team or the patients.
I'd been rushed off my feet all day and I still had four hours of my shift left. I'd dealt with a heroin overdose, a drunk patient, a broken leg and intubated an unconscious patient.
I was stood by the Nurses' station, writing out how much medication to give to Mr Houston in Cubicle ten when Tess walked towards me and said gently, "I don't know what problem you and your father have but please don't bring it into work."
I finished writing and turned to her, "Look, I know you have great intentions Tess but please don't tell me what to do." I walked off, feeling a little guilty inside for the way I'd spoken to her. After all, I knew she was only trying to be professional which is something I should be.
"Lauren, there's someone at Reception to see you." TC the Receptionist said. I frowned, I wasn't expecting anybody so I didn't know who it was. I walked towards Reception and chewed my lower lip, wondering who my visitor was.
I didn't need to wait long to find out, "Doctor Lauren!" A little voice said and ran towards me. As Sofia wrapped her arms around my middle, I smiled a little and knelt down, "Hello Sofia, are you feeling better?"
"Yes thank you, Doctor Lauren." She smiled brightly.
I found myself smiling back as I nodded, "Well that's good. Is that your new teddy that your nana's brought you?" I asked as I noticed she was holding a different teddy to when I'd last seen her.
"No, this is for you." She handed the teddy to me and I smiled, "Thank you."
"Come on Sofia, we best be going." I heard Emily say and I stood up. I made eye contact with her and smiled a little before thanking her for the teddy. She said it wasn't her idea, it was Sofia's.
I hugged Sofia one last time before Emily and Sofia left the hospital. I held the teddy bear to my chest and let the tears roll down my cheeks as I walked off towards the toilets. Today was the last time I'd ever see my daughter and although I was distraught, I knew it was for the best.
/
I went to the toilet, closed the door and slid down the wall. Even though I knew it was for the best, it still didn't stop me feeling like my heart had been taken out of my chest. It sounds pathetic doesn't it? Especially as I never knew the girl.
I held the teddy tightly, burying my face into its fur. The teddy bear smelt like Sofia, her scent of watermelon shampoo and I closed my eyes, hoping this whole thing didn't exist. The door of the toilets opened and I tried to stop crying but I couldn't.
"Hello, are you okay in there?"
"Yeah, please Maggie just go away."
She leant against the toilet cubicle, "Lauren, what's wrong?"
Silence. I held the teddy and fiddled with its scarf around its neck, "Nothing. Anyway, I can't tell you anything, you'll only tell my father."
"I'm sorry, I thought I was doing what was right." She sighed, "Lauren you're making a huge mistake."
"I'm doing what I think's best for Sofia. Now whether that's with me or her grandmother, that's my choice. Her grandmother can provide for her all the things I can't. She can have a better life with her than she will with me."
"You love her don't you?" I heard her ask and I nodded. I loved her more than anything I'd ever loved.
"Of course but when has love ever been enough?"
There was just silence between us again. I stood up from the floor, wiped away the tears that were rolling down my cheeks and unlocked the toilet cubicle. I made eye contact with her and smiled a little, "She's better off without me."
"Do you really think so?" Maggie asked and I nodded. I was nobody, she didn't even know I was her mother. I couldn't confuse the child, she'd already had enough distruption in her life as it was.
Muttering a thanks to Maggie, I left the bathroom, aware that I'd spoken to her when I said I'd never speak to her again. I went to the staff-room, put the teddy bear into my locker and walked over to the sink.
Picking up a glass, I rinsed it out, filled it half full with water and took a sip. Leaving the glass on the side, I went to my locker, took out my jacket and put it on. Then, I reached for my handbag, looked for my phone and called for a taxi.
Leaving the staff room, I bumped into Toby and smiled, "Toby, can you do me a massive favour?"
"What is it Lauren?" He asked not looking up from his patient's file.
"Cover for me? Please. I'll be less than an hour, I promise." Before he could protest against it, I kissed his cheek and left with a cheeky smile. I got outside the hospital to find the taxi already waiting for me and I got in and said Holby Airport.
Maybe Maggie was right. Maybe, Sofia did need me.
/
I don't know why I thought they'd have gone to the Airport, they could've got a flaming ferry for all I know. I just presumed they'd fly as it would be easier for Sofia.
I reached the Airport, handed the taxi driver a ten pound note and told him to keep the change. I walked into the Airport and into the crowds of thousands of people. I had found out there was a flight leaving for Dublin at twenty past five from Terminal Three and I knew I needed to hurry up.
Now, it had been a while since I'd been to the Airport, everything had changed again. I took a lift to Terminal three, walked through the skyline to reach the check in desks.
There were several queues of people waiting to check in and I sighed. Finding Sofia in that would take me ages. I began to walk towards the back of the queue when I saw her. She had her backpack on her back and her piglet teddy in her hands.
She looked excited and I debated whether to turn around and leave again. Instead, I walked towards them and said gently, "Hello Emily."
Emily didn't look best pleased to see me and grabbed Sofia's arm, "You're not taking her away from me."
"Emily." I said gently, "Sofia needs to be with her mum, we both know that. Just, let me have her, please."
Sofia looked down at Piglet and then back at Emily, "Nana, you're hurting my arm."
Emily let go off her arm and Sofia went to hide behind me, "Doctor Lauren, nana says you're my mummy but you didn't want me." I made eye contact with Emily and was about to tell her that she could see Sofia whenever she wanted.
I noticed the flicker of something but before I could register what it was, I felt a sharp pain hit me in the stomach. Instintively, I put my hands on my stomach only to notice there was blood on them.
I realised that she'd stabbed me and that's when I began to feel the pain. It was a dull ache at first but it soon intenseified. I fell to the floor and soon gained the attention of everybody in the Airport.
"Oh my god, she's been stabbed." Someone remarked and I felt like telling them that as a Doctor, I already knew that. I noticed that Emily had gone and Sofia was stood on the spot, her teddy on the floor and her eyes fixed on me.
"Sofia, Sofia, come here." It was almost as if she was frozen on the spot because she couldn't move her eyes away from me. Eventually, she moved closer to me and looked at me.
I could feel someone press down on my stomach and another person tell me that the ambulance was on there way. I was beginning to panic, I thought this was it. I was going to die from a stab wound because I wanted my daughter back.
"Tell—tell me your favourite book?"
"Peppa Pig." She said gently, "What's yours?"
"My favourite book?" I took a deep breath, "It's called The Family."
There was a little bit of silence as I thought about what to ask next. Just as I was about to answer, Josh and Greg arrived and I couldn't help but smile as Josh rolled his eyes and said I was in trouble again.
"I'm forever in trouble Josh, you know me." I looked at Sofia and smiled, "Sofia, this is Josh and Greg. They're my friends. They ride a big truck that has sirens."
She still didn't say anything, the shock was getting to her. "Greg, Josh, meet Sofia, my daughter." Neither of them said anything but I noticed the questioning looks. I wanted to reach out and hold Sofia's hand but I didn't want to get blood on her and scare her.
Josh moved the teeshirt that was pressed on my stomach and said; "Good news is that it's stop bleeding."
"Really?" I tutted, "So, it's most likely a flesh wound? Damn, what's the fun in that?"
He smiled, "We're going to take you to hospital. You'll definitely need that stitching. The police will want to speak to you when you get there."
I nodded slowly and looked at Sofia, "Sofia, we're going back to the hospital again." She bent down to pick up the Piglet that she had dropped and held it to her chest. Greg offered her his hand and she looked at me before holding his hand with her own.
jottings — if you do like it enough to favourite/alert, don't forget to leave a review. :3
