Chapter 8; Link's POV
I understood-but that didn't mean I accepted it. Yet if Anita wasn't going to come back with me, I had to make sure that she was at least a little happy-and despite Ghirahim's flaws-and he had plenty-he had made her happy. Perhaps Ghirahim did have some feelings towards her… He was a theatric-dramatic at most times-yet this time I was certain he wasn't playing around. He did seem pretty upset about it… it was rather pathetic though-all he could talk about was giving Anita gifts-as if money could buy her affection. Sure, Anita would appreciate it, but he really had to find some other way besides jewels and sexual acts to show his affection. The sad thing about it all was the fact that what Anita wanted most of all he couldn't seem to give it to her.
I still couldn't believe Anita's earlier words; the fact that he could have possibly been the spirit residing in my sword if Demise hadn't stolen him… I guess Demise did one thing right by me. I supposed it made sense though… ever since I'd learned of his existence as being a Sword Spirit like Fi-though he practically stayed inside the weapon he was forged in-he had to be created by someone and so who better than the Goddesses to do it? Demise had merely altered him-forged him into a new weapon. Would things have been so bad if the Goddesses hadn't created Fi? Would Anita have still been captured without him? It's funny… I keep telling myself that I should have done something, and yet, by her story, her first capture had been thousands of years ago-before even Skyloft had been fully created!
So that meant if she had been captured during the day Hylia had sent the Master Sword to the Heavens, that it had been a few thousand years, and then add another thousand years at that for my own generation to happen… Goddesses, I should have paid attention in Skyloftian History more often… perhaps even Math… Zelda was always pestering me about it as Anita had earlier. I never knew that I'd need the information later.
Anyway, if my calculations were correct-despite Anita's physical age-which I had always assumed to be about 13 or so when we first met-add on the two years she was there with us in Skyloft, and now two years later… she'd be physically 17-yet truly a few thousand or something? Funny, despite all those thousands of years she still looked about 17 to me… I guess Goddesses have a different ageing process… At least that meant Ghirahim was most likely in her age range… I guess.
Well great, now I had an even bigger headache than before while listening to Ghirahim go on and on-sorry for himself, sorry for her, making excuses for himself, berating himself for his actions… it was never ending!
Did I say already that he was dramatic?
When I finally persuaded him to try again to win her affection-and I had to force myself to do it-he started going on about gifts for her-changing his mind constantly, always thinking it wasn't good enough… honestly what sort of gift could he give to her that could possibly equal in amount to her freedom? Nothing besides her freedom itself, that's what! But apparently-obviously for a better term-that was out of the question.
"Ghirahim, I really think you're trying too hard…" I finally interrupted him.
He only rolled his eyes at me, "Oh please… I am not!"
"Look, Anita is easily pleased-she'll like anything you give to her! So long as you make the right apology first…"
"She won't accept my apologies…"
That should surprise me why? But I held my tongue. "I don't think I know of any girls that would accept an apology from some creep who raped her. No guys either… that isn't something you can just apologize about and expect to be forgiven for."
"I know, I know! You don't need to lecture me about it!" he groaned, placing his head in his hands. Another few moments of silence passed between us before he spoke again, turning back to me, and I could see that familiar glint of excitement in his eyes I'd seen the past whenever he'd been close to capturing Zelda-I felt a wave of anger wash over me at the memories. "How would one go about capturing one of those…what do you call them? Goddess Birds of yours?"
I stood silent for a moment-trying to think of what he might be suggesting. "You mean our Loftwings?" I was shocked, "You can't just capture one!" the thought was completely inhumane, and cruel, and I had to remember who exactly I was talking to-he certainly didn't care how inhumane something was. "They come to you-choose you-they're our other half given by the Goddess to protect us. Without them we're incomplete, they're…"
He waved me off dismissively, "Oh, keep your high and mighty Goddess filled religious speeches out of it, boy! How could I get one?"
"Anita already has one." I decided to put the idea quickly out of his mind, "and she certainly wouldn't want Amalthea down here-she'd want her to stay up in Skyloft with the others. It's her home after all…"
"Amalthea?" he raised a curious eyebrow.
I smirked, shrugging my shoulders, "Traditionally we don't usually name our Loftwings-we don't need to-but… Anita wasn't always… normal…" I felt a pang of guilt at my own words, but it was quickly brushed aside as I watched him-obviously thinking hard on the subject. "Why?"
"No reason boy, no reason at all it's just… the name… it does sound familiar…" and he smirked, laughing softly, "and certainly a name Anita would choose…"
"She really loved Amalthea…" I spoke without thinking, remembering the first time she'd ever flown-not with me or Zelda, but on her own. "She always said it made her feel free… like nothing could ever bring her down, or hold her back…"
My thoughts were suddenly interrupted as Ghirahim jumped up, "YES! THAT'S IT!" he was so enthusiastic, I was reminded briefly of our second battle within the Fire Sanctuary. It was kind of freaking me out…
I blinked a few times, confused. "What's 'it'?"
"Oh never mind, never mind," he waved me off for the third time in a row (and it was seriously beginning to tick me off) "Anita-you said you were last with her-where did she go?"
I shook my head, still confused, but my questions would be answered soon enough I supposed. "I don't know… Demise came outside to the gardens. He found us and told her to go back in… I don't know where she went after that…" I cut myself off, noting the glare he was giving me. "Hey, I told you we talked!" perhaps he didn't enjoy the thought of us being alone-no I'm certain he didn't enjoy it. At least I could find some pleasure in that fact. Despite all his self proclaimed bravado he still envied me.
He rolled his eyes, "Well, I suppose we'll simply have to go find her then, won't we?" he went to the door, opening it before stepping quickly away as a large figure blocked the exit. "M-Master…"
Demise glanced my way-and I knew from the look he gave me that he had overheard our conversation-he knew what we were planning. Why should it bother me? I sent a glare his way in return, all my fury-still built up over all this time, no matter how many years had passed carried within that one gaze. He merely smirked in return, turning his gaze back to Ghirahim. "I apologize for the interruption-especially considering the hurry you so suddenly seem to be in, my Sword. However, I have something I wish to show you…"
He answered quickly, without hesitation. "Yes, Master." I couldn't help but shake my head as I followed-uninvited-behind them. Despite Ghirahim's feelings, despite his emotions, despite all his boasting and power, he was still just a simple slave-just a tool-a trinket that could be thrown away at any moment. Why did I suddenly pity him?
I remembered Fi-my own Sword Spirit-stored within the Master Sword, now lying in rest within the Temple above The Sealed Grounds, watching over Demises Seal. If she had had more free will like Ghirahim-what would she have been like? She had always been bonded with the blade-she could neither move on her own accord, nor express any amount of feeling.
True, she had seemed to have developed somewhat of an understanding of human emotions along our journey-as she stated herself before she went into rest for all time-but I could never truly call her words anything close to emotions…
I noticed with a tiny hint of surprise that the hallway we were walking down had been the path I had taken to accidentally find Ghirahim-funny enough I didn't find it a coincidence, or perhaps this singular route was the only way to the earlier room… had he followed me? Either way, we stopped at a large door-rather abruptly, I might add. They both paused, and I turned to Ghirahim, noting a small smile appear on his face. "What?"
He looked at me curiously before rolling his eyes in obvious annoyance. "I forget you humans have a lower sense of smell… rather it seems of all the senses, but I digress." He shrugged.
"That didn't answer my question."
"Blood." He answered simply, glancing up at his Master, and I took notice of the shock on Demises face before nervousness and worry swept over Ghirahim's own features. "M-Master… what exactly is it that you wanted to show me?"
Demise didn't answer, merely letting out a low growl in what I assumed to be anger, as he grabbed the knob and threw the door open, hurrying inside.
Ghirahim and I exchanged confused glances before rushing in ourselves-but I quickly stopped in my tracks, and I heard Ghirahim let out a scream beside me. Yes, an actual scream of terror had come from the Demon Lord's lips. I, on the other hand, could simply look on in silence, paralyzed as he ran to her side, blood coating the floor…
She couldn't have… she wouldn't have! But I was seeing the proof for myself-the sword coated in her blood, her body lying seemingly lifeless on the floor before me.
Ghirahim grasped her hand, blood coating her wrist, traveling along the length of her fingers, dripping off her fingertips. He was crying her name, shouting in desperation. "ANITA!" no answer, no movement… not ever a flicker of her eyelids showed; they remained closed-completely dead to the world. "ANITA!"
Anita's POV
It burned… everything hurt… I could hear someone calling my name, and something soft falling against my face… the rest was simply pain-burning deep within me, the pain seeping further and further into my skin… I just wanted it to stop… I wanted it to end… Goddesses, please, just end me! End me here and now!
"Anita! Anita!"
Again I could hear my name being spoken to me-no, shouted at me, screamed at me… and the droplets kept falling steadily onto my face-their pattern quickening with every second…
"Anita please wake up, please! Wake up!"
The burning wouldn't stop… it only seeped farther and farther into my skin, onto my legs, my arms, my neck… harsher and harsher as the voice rang relentlessly in my ears… and the droplets quickened against my face…
"Anita! Anita!"
"Enough, Ghirahim." This voice was sharper than the other one… and… that name, Ghirahim… it sounded familiar… for a few moments now I had been seeing a white light-but now it seemed to be getting farther and farther away… the voice calling me back to… to what? I could barely remember… the pain was getting more intense-sharper now-and I could feel a slight pressure applied to different areas of my body every now and then.
"It shouldn't be taking this long…" a third voice piped up-Goddesses, how many were there? "She should be awake by now… she… she can't be d-"
"DON'T SAY IT! DON'T YOU DARE SAY IT, SKYCHILD!" the first voice screamed again, louder this time. By now I knew who it was…
"Ghirahim…"
"Anita..." I opened my eyes slowly… blinking a few times. The room was dim-and I noted three faces looking down at me. Masters, Link's, and Ghirahim's… I winced, the pain becoming even more acute than before… Goddesses it burned! "Don't move! Don't move, Darling!" Ghirahim held me close as Link held me down with the assistance of Master, who was applying some form of what I hoped to be medicine to my wounds… I could smell rubbing alcohol, so that had to be the culprit for this constant burning I felt all over my skin…
I tried to remember what had happened… I remembered Master leaving the room… I'd grabbed the sword… I'd just wanted it to end-wanted it all to end… how could I possibly live with such torment day after day? Wasn't it simply easier just to end it all? I fought back the tears. Why was he holding me like this? Crying over me-it was Ghirahim's tears that fell across my skin I now knew-even now as I felt his lips gently fall repeatedly against my face.
"AHH!" I screamed as a rag containing the burning substance was placed against my neck, tossing my head back, trying to kick Link and Master away. "IT BURNS!"
"I know, Darling, I know… Shhhh… Shhhh… Master, I think her wounds are clean enough by now…"
Master glared silently at me before removing the rag. "They've been disinfected for a while now… but no hurt can come from just making sure."
Link sighed, sitting up on his knees, taking my hand. "Goddesses, Anita, we thought we'd lost you…"
"Never do something like that again!" Ghirahim was still crying, holding me close to his chest, "how could you? Never again! Do you hear me?"
Yes… he was an amazing actor… I nearly believed his tears… I closed my eyes, turning my head towards the wall, allowing his tears to fall against the back of my neck. "What happened?"
"We used a Healing Fairy… it… it didn't work for the longest time… we had to use a few of them actually before you started breathing again… then we cleaned your wounds and…" he smiled, a tear falling down his cheek. He finally had the courage to cry, "Anita… I was so scared, you have no idea…"
"I've used such healing magic on you before." Master stated, rising from the floor, "I can't imagine why it took so much to bring you back this time."
Because I have nothing left to live for this time. The thought ran through my mind instantly-no hesitation. I knew there was nothing left for me besides this literal spot of Hell I had willingly banished myself to-a life of torment, of constant suffering. It was only now in the aftermath of Ghirahim's actions towards me that I realized how true it was… no more fantasies… no more hope… I wasn't going to fool myself any longer. There was no chance of happiness to be found here… the only trace of any such happiness for me would be gone by morning anyway-so why bother to continue?
Master seemed to read my thoughts; he smirked down at me, turning his back on us, moving towards the door. "Take care of her Ghirahim."
"Of course, Master…" he answered as the door shut, holding me closer.
I winced-not at the pain that followed the action, but at their words… I struggled, and Ghirahim held me fast, as I should have known he would.
"Hold still… you have to hold still, Anita… you can't expect to move in your current condition… rest, rest a moment…" he paused, and I heard him clear his throat, "Actually… Darling, there's… something I wish to tell you, really… I…" I waited for him to continue, noticing out of the corner of my eye Link glaring slightly in Ghirahim's direction, shaking his head softly. Ghirahim sighed, averting his gaze. What was that about?
"'Something you wish to tell me'?" I couldn't keep the venom out of my voice-not that I exactly wanted to. I glanced at the sword lying a few feet away. I could try again tonight… yes, tonight… down in the dungeons… Master and Ghirahim would be too busy trying to force Link out of their Realm, and by the time they found me, it would be too late-even for a million Healing Fairies to give me life again.
"It can wait, Darling…" I hated how he still insisted on calling me that… it was too cruel… "Rest, that's what you need right now…"
Rest was the opposite of what I needed. Rest would require me to be in a bed and… fear overtook me, and I got up quickly, pushing them both away ignoring the pain that greeted me. "I'm fine!"
They looked at each other-each of them shrugging in turn. Honestly, what in the name of Hyrule was wrong with them?! They were acting completely… nonchalant about being so near one another! It was kind of spooky to say the least…
"Alright…" Ghirahim seemed a little uneasy-good. I wasn't giving him what he wanted-I wanted him to feel uneasy. He rose from the floor, Link following suit. He looked from me to Link for a moment, clearing his throat nervously again. "I'll… be back soon… I have some… business I must attend to." They shared another glance, Link nodding this time before Ghirahim snapped his fingers, teleporting from the room.
Goddesses, I could breathe again… I relaxed my stance, glancing over at the sword on the floor…
"Don't even think about it, Anita!" Link stepped in front my view point-a furious glare plastered on his face.
I stepped back, hugging myself. "I wasn't…" I lied, averting my gaze.
"How could you?" his voice quaked slightly, and I heard the clink of metal followed by a slight crash as he kicked the sword away into the opposite wall.
"It's better than this… all of this…"
"It's selfish." How could he say such a thing?! It was selfish to want to escape a life of hurt and torture? I couldn't go back with Link-I couldn't-but if I were to die here, my Father would still have my soul, the deal I made with him would live on, and Link and Zelda and everyone else would still be safe. Was it too much for me to want to finally be through with all this?! Link sighed, "Anita, it pains me to admit it, but he does care about you-loves you. I know what he did-I still haven't fully forgiven him myself, but I know he's serious…"
"You're lying." I hissed, "You're just saying that so that I won't try it again."
"You're going to try again?!" Link gripped onto my shoulders tightly, forcing me to face him.
"What else am I supposed to do, Link?" I wrenched myself from his grasp, glaring at him.
"Wait… just wait… believe me, it will be worth it. You won't be disappointed."
The glare never left my face. I turned away from him, crossing my arms across my chest. He was silent for the longest time-and I knew he was observing me. "What is it?" I asked somewhat harshly.
"W-Why so many cuts?" he must have been staring at my arms and the few scraps I had cut along my neck and legs.
I shrugged. At first, I had been simply cutting myself-giving myself my own punishment, a distraction from the emotion pain I had been feeling. A little afterwards, however, I'd realized; why simply distract myself when I could end it altogether? Never having to live with it again? "I wasn't bleeding fast enough…"
I'd sliced my wrist first-and while the blood flowed freely at a slightly rapid pace, it certainly hadn't been fast enough… I'd sliced my neck next-right at the jugular vein-the vein that flowed and pumped blood to the heart. With two crucial veins severed, the blood flowed rapidly and I had felt Death take His hold upon me, gratefully so…
"Anita…" his voice quavered slightly, and I heard him step towards me before I turned on him, pushing him away. "Th-This isn't like you…"
"I'm not promising anything, Link…I can't… I just can't live like this anymore!" Why did it matter to him? Either way he would be losing me-and I him. He would be gone soon anyway, so what was the difference if he lost me in Life or in Death? We were never going to see each other again-no matter what happened-so what was the point?
Link was right… this wasn't me… this was the Anita that had been torn and broken so many times-she can't even find the pieces to put herself back together again… I was done trying… I was finished…
I wish they had just left me to die!
Ghirahim s POV
It was a few hours later-my objective had been easy enough. Anita's gift watched me with careful, curious eyes-bright brown eyes, nearly as lovely as hers. I closed the door softly-so as not to spook it. "Now you just wait here… I'll return with your Mistress in a minute or two…" hopefully the boy had kept her secluded to that one room-I didn't wish to track her down again-especially with how things had turned out last time… Goddesses… my Darling Anita… how could I have been so cruel to her to have forced her to take such actions against herself? Never again! Never!
It had been simple enough to create a holding cell for the creature… just a simple amount of magic, and that was it. It fit the gardens nicely, and it was far enough away so that it wouldn't disturb anyone. I made my way slowly back towards the castle-thinking over what I could possibly say… "I'm sorry" just wouldn't be enough… No, I'd do what the boy expected, and would hopefully gain Anita's attention. I'd get down on my knees, beg for her forgiveness… but even that wouldn't be enough. I had seen the way she had turned away from me-forced herself away from my arms. Once I gave Anita her gift, she would surely begin to truly forgive me…
I sighed, coming in view of the garden doors leading to the interior of the castle. I was so nervous-a feeling I never usually felt… Would it be enough? I looked around… flowers… another little touch couldn't hurt… roses… yes. There was an abundance of them around the castle, and surely they wouldn't be missed… I picked a dozen or so, frowning at their dull color. No, these would never do… I'd have to use a little extra magic in order to bring them back to life. I smiled, watching the brown color fade away slowly, leaving no traces of death, but life-a vibrant dark red color greeted me.
What had the boy said? 'Flowers, chocolates, promises that I never intended to keep' wasn't it? He words had been mocking-yes, but I had the flowers, and Anita adored sweets whenever I could get her some, but would she even think of taking food from my hand?
No-Master had drugged her before with such tactics-I couldn't expect her not to think the same of me now… I had already made plenty of promises, and I was willing to make many more now-but this time I would keep them.
I had one promise weighing heavily on my mind at the moment… Master certainly wouldn't approve, but I didn't necessarily have to tell him… oh Goddesses, going against my own Master… how could I have sunk so low? My emotions certainly would be the end of me someday I swear it…
I gasped as the roses were suddenly torn from my grasp-scattering to the floor. Frantically I hurried to gather them before I noticed someone towering over me. I looked up, gulping nervously. "M-Master…"
He glared down at me, "What are you doing with those?"
I cursed myself for acting in such a fashion-completely undignified, and Master there to see… I got up from the floor, straightening my cloak shamefully. "They're… a gift… for Anita, Master… I… thought she could use some cheering up… what with that little… stunt she pulled earlier." Her attempted suicide… I was nearly in tears again thinking about it, but I stood my ground. I was thankful I had left her with the boy-certainly he wouldn't aid her in such an act and despite my nervousness and confusion of how to properly act in such a situation (I had never, if rarely had to apologize for anything in my entire life, especially for something this massive…). Perhaps it was better to think on my own rather than leaning against the boy for assistance. Whatever I did to prove my love for her would have to come from me and me alone.
"You seem to be wasting a substantial amount of time on her." He answered disapprovingly, crossing his arms.
"Believe me, Master, once the boy returns home, and everything is settled with Anita, things will go as they were before-I swear it!"
"Indeed. The boy has barely been here a full day, and yet the tolls it has taken on you and Anita have been rather exhausting on me to say the least-don't think I don't notice it-you both have been quite a handful in such a short amount of time, and the sooner you two start remembering your places, the better! Understood?"
"Y-Yes Master…" I hung my head.
He merely growled in response, "I had ordered him to stay away from her, but… considering the circumstances, I think its best he remain with her now… don't you agree?"
I fought back the sudden feeling of jealously in my heart. At such a time it should be me comforting her, not the boy… but… yes, considering the circumstances. I sighed, nodding my head, "of course, Master…"
"I knew you would agree. After all, who better to console her than one who actually cares for her?" I winced at his words, and once again upon hearing the crush of stems and petals as he walked away-crushing the roses beneath his feet. I didn't miss the smirk he gave me over his shoulder as he turned the corner.
When I was certain he was gone, I removed my cloak-gazing at the one rose I had managed to save… I questioned going back to the gardens for more, but I'd wasted too much time already.
Perhaps she was already thinking of new ways to do away with herself-and Master certainly had to have given her many ideas over the years by the use of torture… it would be too easy for her to think of an effective plan of suicide. With those thoughts in mind, I couldn't dare to waste another moment.
The boy gazed at me curiously as I walked in, the single rose in hand. He held the sword in one hand, still coated in her blood no doubt to keep Anita away from it... His look was one of disappointment, which only strengthened when he saw the rose. He shook his head. I understood-he thought I had merely brought the rose as penance. Well, he had to know me better than that… could he really believe that I would think of something so simple?
Anita was turned away from me, gazing at the fire and as far as I could tell she hadn't noticed my arrival. Either that or she simply didn't care… I tried to dispel the nervousness that had suddenly come over me once again-how many times had it happened in one day? It was almost too much already!
I cleared my throat, stepping up behind her. "Anita…" Painfully I noticed her jump slightly at my voice, turning her head hesitantly in my direction. I hesitated… trying to find words to say… how difficult it was to call them up now, when I had rehearsed them so clearly in my mind.
She stared at me a moment, completely expressionless towards me. She waited for me to continue-and still I hesitated… it was she that broke the silence between us. "Yes, Master Ghirahim?"
No! No! I was not her Master-the word pained me. She was not my slave, she was not an object-completely the opposite! She was everything to me! My light, my joy, my love… had it really come down to this? That she should harm herself-hurt her own body-do away with herself by means of suicide, and now this; that she should reduce herself to such a minority towards me? I had always thought that my purpose in life was to obey my Master-but forget him! If I didn't have her, I would be nothing! I would have no purpose-no reason to continue! She was my purpose! I fell to my knees, grasping her hands, kissing them, not even bothering to cease my tears as they fell.
"Anita, my Darling, please… please, don't call me that… I… I know what I've done, I can never take back my actions, but please, please, I wish to redeem myself… I…" the words stuck on my tongue, and my mind went numb... I turned to the boy, but the only help he offered was an urging look-begging me to continue.
Anita had taken the opportunity to pull her hands away from my grasp. I winced, turning back, noticing one of the roses thorns had cut her finger-a drop of blood falling to the carpet. Yes, mere words wouldn't be enough-besides, actions spoke louder than words-I should know that now.
"I have something for you!" I found the courage to speak again, holding out the rose to her once again, "and not just this, but… well… it's a surprise, r-really…"
"I don't want anything from you!" she grasped the rose in her hand gently-and for a moment I assumed she had changed her mind-before she tossed it into the flames behind her.
No matter I told myself-though my hope was diminishing… I could get her more… rooms full… besides, the roses had merely been a last minute thought, and truly, they proved nothing besides my desperateness.
"Please… Anita, I know I don't deserve it but… I want to make things right… I want to hold you again, make you feel safe in my arms-keep you as safe as possible-to know you love me still… I don't deserve it; I don't deserve even a small amount of your affection but… I need you… I've always needed you! You're everything to me! " I spoke my thoughts as they came-I hardly cared if they made sense-I was nearly mad with desperation as she sat before me with unfeeling eyes… "Please… Anita… I love you… I love you with everything I have; I'll go mad if you turn me away now!"
She sighed, finally turning to fully face me-and I saw something flicker in her gaze. Whether it was sadness, fear, anger, or perhaps all combined, I couldn't be sure… but it was something nonetheless. "What do you really want from me?!"
I barely had the strength to speak-to even ask. "A… A second chance…" she stayed silent, watching me with confused, yet always tender eyes…. By the Goddesses, hearing her silence once again nearly broke me-and yet it lingered. All hope I had beforehand shattered… I was too late… I could only stare at her in silence-berating myself for my cruelty towards her-my selfishness, my brutality… Anita… Have I truly hurt you this much?
Anita's POV
Throughout his speech I couldn't help but hear his words in my mind from earlier, proclaiming his 'love' to me-as he was now.
Anita… I love you… I love you with everything I have, to the very heart of my being, to the very core of my soul… I love you, Anita… Please…Don't ever doubt me…
Lies! All of it! Couldn't he stop pretending? Honestly, I had been such a fool to even consider it for a moment when he got down on his knees-something he never if not rarely did for Master. He'd handed me the rose, and I remembered the prick of pain that greeted me from one of its thorns. In that instant my pain and fear deepened.
A rose was lovely-a rose was beautiful-but no matter what, it would still harm you with its harsh thorns… you never expected it at first, but then the prick warns you and you're forced to draw back… I didn't want it!
It didn't matter how kind his words, either way there would always be the sting of the pain to await me… anyone could speak of undying affection and never mean it-and Ghirahim had always been a wonderful actor… I remember grasping the rose in my hands, tossing it into the flames. It was then Ghirahim's words had become stronger, his phrases more poetic, even more desperate… as if he truly meant what he said-and I felt myself fighting the urge to believe him… I was stupid, yes, but I wouldn't be fooled again. I wasn't going to live a lie any longer-I wouldn't victimize myself again-I don't care what 'gifts' he had waiting for me.
I heard him speak again beside me, and I tried desperately not to hear…"Please… Anita, I know I don't deserve it but … I want to make things right… I want to hold you again, make you feel safe in my arms-keep you as safe as possible…"
No! Even him being this close to me I was fearful-wary of every move he made with hands, frightened he would put them on me-touch me again… I didn't want him near me! He wanted to protect me? Then he should stay away from me!
He continued, ignorant of my fears… "…to know you love me still…"
I don't, and yet I do all at once… I couldn't cease my thoughts; I want to feel safe again… yet I was afraid of the consequences… how could he even ask me to trust him now?
"I don't deserve it; I don't deserve even a small amount of your affection but… I need you… I've always needed you! You're everything to me! "
Then why hurt me? If you truly loved me, then why betray me so horribly? The lies, the games… At least Master had been gracious enough never to lie-save for when I was little. Yet Ghirahim had played me for a fool all these years… taking advantage of my feelings-he had known I cared for him still! He continued to do it now-even now-when my heart has already been torn and broken into a million pieces…
"Please… Anita… I love you… I love you with everything I have; I'll go mad if you turn me away now!"
I sighed, finally turning to fully face him-and I held back the tears as I'd been doing for so long now. I didn't know what I felt; be it sadness, fear, anger, or perhaps all combined, I couldn't be sure… but it was something nonetheless, and I simply wanted it to end! I couldn't take it; hearing the lies over and over… No more lies! No more games! I was through with it! "What do you really want from me?!"
He paused for a moment-as if shocked that I'd spoken to him. Perhaps it was my words that caught him off guard, I couldn't be sure. Finally he spoke, and his words nearly killed me. "A… A second chance…"
A second chance… did he think I would be stupid enough to even consider it? I looked up at Link, and he nodded at me. He actually believed all this?! Well… what else did I have to lose? Fine… I'd play his game… for a time. By tonight, it wouldn't matter anymore would it?
I took his hand. "Show me your gift."
You can just imagine my surprise when he led me to a stall of all places… I heard a neigh come from inside, followed by the sound of hoof beats, and finally a large head poking through the doorway, waving its ears curiously, the better to listen to the sounds around it. Link stepped back. "What… is it?"
Ghirahim rolled his eyes, "Honestly, boy, it's a horse! Don't tell me you've never seen one!"
Link shrugged, shaking his head, and he turned to me. "Well?"
"Well?" I was confused by his question.
Ghirahim frowned slightly. "Don't you like it?"
I neither denied nor acknowledged his statement, simply staring at the horse before me. She was beautiful I had to admit, and I couldn't help but smile slightly-quickly removing it when Ghirahim's eyes fell on me. Her coat, mane, and tail were white as snow-hooves as black as night. Curious brown eyes stared back into mine before she reared up, kicking the air with her hooves. Right… just like with Loftwings-never look them right in the eye.
I watched as Ghirahim calmed her down, "Shhhh… there's a good girl… it's alright…" funny… the way he comforted the creature was nearly exact to the times whenever he would comfort me. He caught my gaze, smiling at me. "She's nearly as beautiful as you, Love…"
I scowled, "Doesn't she have a name?"
He shook his head, "Not yet… besides, she is yours now… isn't it right that you should be the one to name her?"
"Mine?"
"Master will learn of this eventually but… I thought it best to keep it between us for now… don't you agree?"
He was keeping secrets from Master now? Well… today was just full of surprises wasn't it? They watched me as I approached the horse. I remembered such creatures living in the Goddess Realm-I'd had one of my own-and I had been surprised upon seeing them able to exist down here in the Demon Realm. I walked up to her slowly, tentatively reaching out a hand to stroke her nose. She whinnied happily, pressing against me, and I couldn't hold back the laugh that escaped my lips. She reminded me of my Loftwing back in Skyloft… the two had similar color patterns after all… It wasn't that difficult to choose a name.
"Amalthea," I told the horse, smiling despite myself. "Your name is Amalthea." The horse-Amalthea nodded her head in what I took to be approval, and I laughed again, "You like it?" she whinnied happily.
"You two seem to be getting along already." Ghirahim spoke up, and I jumped slightly, backing into him. He placed a hand on my arm to steady me, and I pushed him away. I wasn't supposed to be showing satisfaction… and why had I named her? It was a cruel thing to do-I'd never see her again, so what was the point?
Ghirahim frowned slightly at my reaction and I rolled my eyes. "She's beautiful." I gave in, thanking him.
Ghirahim moved to the side, taking up a bejeweled halter and a saddle. "Care to ride her?"
I nodded softly, watching as he prepared her for riding. I felt a tiny tinge of jealously watching him-she was mine as he'd said, so what business did he have in… oh Goddesses, it didn't matter! After tonight I wasn't ever going to do this again, so it didn't matter!
He led Amalthea from the stall, and I noted happily that the setup looked the same as if he had hitched up a Loftwing for flight-save for different body type; the layout was the same… Link stepped away as Amalthea drew near, still a little hesitant.
"Oh, calm yourself boy! She won't bite!" Ghirahim teased, handing me the reins. "Do you need help?"
I shook my head. I knew exactly what to do from here on out. I stepped up into the saddle, placing both feet in the stirrups. Back straight, holding tight to the reins, I looked down on them from atop Amalthea's back. I smirked at Link from above, "just like riding a Loftwing!"
"I'll take your word for it, then." He giggled, shrugging his shoulders.
Amalthea tossed her head, neighing as she stamped the ground. I understood-she was eager to get going. As was I… this felt natural, and I could already tell that Amalthea wanted the same as me-we were both begging to be released, eager for freedom… she wanted to run, to feel freedom, to leave everything behind her… she moved forward a few steps on her own before pausing, glancing up at me-awaiting my orders.
Ghirahim stepped forward, misreading her restlessness. "Anita, go slowly-the poor thing probably isn't used to…"
I scowled, ignoring his warning, urging Amalthea forward into a quick gallop. She neighed happily-and as I already knew, she hadn't enjoyed such a tiny space to live in-eager to get out and run.
I steered her around fountains, hedges, and statues- the only times I ever decreased her speed. It felt amazing! I steered her towards a hedge, but this time, despite my attempts to steer her away, she surged forward, leaping over it. I couldn't help but smile. It felt just like flying! I felt free!
She landed easily and gracefully on the other side, and I pulled back on the reins, halting her in her tracks. I giggled, "Enjoy that?" she whinnied happily, tossing her head in the direction of another hedge a few feet away. "You want to do it again, don't you?" she tossed her head, stamping her hoofs. "Good; so do I!" I let her gallop once more, and as I guessed, she took us in the direction of the hedge, jumping over it as she'd done before.
We repeated the action I'm not sure how many times-but Amalthea enjoyed it just as much as I did. I was forced to halt her soon enough however, noticing her getting tired. She had to rest-though she certainly didn't want to. She tossed her head, neighing in disapproval, turning towards yet another hedge.
I giggled, petting her neck, "I know… I know… but even you have your limits… I'm come and do this again with…" I paused midsentence, frowning at my own words. No… I wasn't going to be bought again. This was just what Ghirahim wanted-I wasn't going to let him win! "I'm sorry Amalthea…" I steered her back towards the stall-if I could even call it that, it was so small-where link and Ghirahim stood waiting.
"So," Link spoke up as I rode up to the gate, "just like riding a Loftwing?"
"Exactly like riding a Loftwing." I smirked, jumping down from the saddle, holding possessively onto the reins as Ghirahim approached.
He smiled, "Did you enjoy it?" I nodded my head, and he seemed pleased by my answer. "You know… Amalthea isn't really your only gift…"
Ghirahim had gotten me another gift? This was just pathetic. Did he think that the only think that had ever allowed me to forgive him had been the gifts he offered me? It had never been the gifts themselves that ever won me over, it had been his words before hand-the simple fact that he would accept his actions, and take responsibility for them. The apology and kind words along with them had been what had always driven me to forgive him-the gifts afterwards had simply been added bonuses, and he would never take no for an answer-that and my seemingly undying affection… Goddesses what a stupid, stupid girl I'd been! Fooling myself into thinking he could have ever loved me in return.
"She's not?" Link's words brought me away from my current thoughts.
"No. Call her a… well… preliminary if you will…" as Ghirahim spoke he glanced around, as if searching for anyone who might overhear before he lowered his voice, "Tell me, Anita how did you feel riding her? You said it was exactly like the feeling of when you'd ride your Loftwing, correct?" I nodded. "You felt free in a sense, correct?" again, I nodded, angry and confused at his words. What was he getting at? "Wouldn't you want to have that feeling again, Anita… whenever you wanted?" I glared, crossing my arms.
He knew what I wanted! This was just torture that he would bring up such thoughts! I stayed silent, waiting for him to continue; though I wasn't prepared for what he said to me next.
"Anita… I'm going to give it to you! I'm going to grant you your freedom!"
