I have to thank you all for the reviews again. I feel like dancing every time I see them. **does the happy dance.** So what do you think about this one? *Chapter 9 unsubtle foreshadowing*Incoming: the drama's about to hit the roof. :D
I woke up to a quiet knock on my door. Ordinarily I would have rolled over and gone back to sleep, but the knocking persisted. It wasn't until I had wobbled to my feet that I remembered who was supposed to stop by today.
I opened the door and smiled for Dimitri, who pulled me into a kiss. After a moment I pulled back, looked into the hallway and said, "Better be careful, Comrade." I tugged him into the room by his hand and shut the door.
"Now, where were we?" Dimitri said softly, reaching down to kiss me again. I happily kissed him back, glad to be in his arms again. To be honest I wouldn't have minded taking the kiss a little further, but when I started to back up to the bed Dimitri let me go, a longing look on his face.
I sighed and ran a hand through my hair.
"We can't, Rose. Graduation is-"
"Just around the corner. I know," I said glumly. He watched me for a moment before sitting in my computer chair. I sat cross-legged on my bed, still annoyed.
"Have you told anyone yet?" Dimitri asked to break the silence.
"Not intentionally. Adrian figured it out, but he never said anything, even when Lissa kept asking him what was wrong. I don't think he'll tell," I said, propping my elbows on my legs and resting my chin on my fists.
Dimitri looked like he was about to say something, but then changed his mind. We sat in silence for a few moments, and then he opened his mouth again.
"I think," he said carefully as he watched me, "that you should talk to Dr. Olendzki."
I immediately shook my head.
"Rose, every day you hide this you put more strain on the baby. Obviously you haven't been eating well, and I'm afraid that if you don't talk to someone something could happen to you or the baby," he said earnestly. "What are you afraid of?"
"I won't be allowed to finish training. I won't be able to graduate. I won't be Lissa's guardian," I answered quickly.
Dimitri left the chair to sit next to me on the bed. "Rose, things are going to change. It's inevitable. The only thing we can do is make the best of it," he said gently, folding his arm around my waist.
I leaned against his shoulder. "It's scary," I admitted.
"I know, but we have to do what's best for the baby. Our baby." I couldn't hold back the smile that come at those words. That was, until he spoke again.
"I really think it's best to tell the doctor and Kirova. Every time you have to fight off a "guardian" attack it puts the baby at risk. I heard about what happened between you and Alberta. You know the stomach is the easiest target, and if you keep this up the baby could get hurt," Dimitri said.
I pulled back from him. "Dimitri, you could get fired if I tell. You don't think they'll be suspicious if I won't tell them the father?"
Dimitri shrugged as if it didn't bother him, but I knew better. He wouldn't just lose his job—this would destroy him. "You matter more. I can't ask you to give up the things you love if I don't as well. It's the price we're paying." He was starting to spew out that yen crap.
I scrambled off the bed and stood in front of him, looking him in the eyes. "I am not about to ruin your life. This is what you love doing; I can't take it away from you," I said simply.
Dimitri took my hands in his. "Rose, you're not ruining it. This is partly my responsibility too. I know it doesn't seem like it now, but it's a miracle that this baby is even here. I want to be a part of its life, the same way I want to be a part of yours. Right now, you come first."
I really tried to keep the tears inside. These hormones were really getting on my nerves. I never knew if crying was a reasonable response or if it was me being crazy.
Dimitri stood up and faced me, tipping my chin up with his index finger. "Don't be sad, Roza. I love you," he murmured before bringing his lips to mine. The kiss was sweet and full of love. There was pain there, and fear of the unknown, but they weren't enough to overshadow the love Dimitri and I had for each other. I felt safe in this embrace. I knew that whatever happened, Dimitri would be with me, and everything would be alright.
"I have one condition," I said as Dimitri pulled away. He looked at me questioningly. "I need to tell Lissa first. She'd never forgive me if I didn't, and I can feel her freaking out. I owe her an explanation. And then I promise to tell Dr. Olendzki."
Dimitri thought for a moment and then nodded. "Do you want me to go with you?" he asked.
It was tempting, oh so tempting to have him come with me and hold my hand. But I knew I had to do this on my own. To Lissa, I would tell the complete truth. But I already had a strategy planned out for Kirova. I was not about to ruin Dimitri's career, no matter what he said about putting me first. I was putting him first.
"I think she'd take it better if it were coming from me," I explained. "I've caused her a lot of worry—lots of groveling is in order."
Dimitri chuckled. "I get it. Come find me if you need me," he said.
I reached up for one last kiss. "You got it, Comrade."
Tuning into the bond, I felt Lissa pacing alone in her room. She was trying to work up the nerve to go to Dimitri and tell him that something was wrong with me. I couldn't help but laugh at the irony.
It was still early in the morning, and very few people were up walking around. I tapped lightly on Lissa's door before saying "Liss? It's me. Open up."
The door swung open, and Lissa looked at me like I had 3 heads. "Rose?" she said in disbelief. After all the avoiding I'd been doing it surprised her that I would be the one coming to her.
"Yeah. I need to tell you a few things. Well, a bunch of things. I'm really sorry that I've been a little…distant lately," I said apologetically.
"Okay…" Lissa said, still shocked that I was standing there. "So…so what is it you need to tell me?"
"Well, it'd probably be best if I told you inside," I said, glancing over my shoulders. Lissa stepped back and closed the door behind me.
"Rose, I know you're tired of hearing this, but are you…okay?" Lissa asked hesitantly. She radiated apprehension and nerves. I must have really scared her these past 2 weeks.
"Honestly, no. But I will be," I said sincerely, sitting on her bed. She joined me.
"Oh. You're sure?" I don't think she expected me to tell the truth at this point.
"Positive." Oh, the irony.
"So, start from the beginning?" She said it like a question. By now Lissa was more relaxed, and she trusted that I would tell her the truth.
"Well…wait—you don't have any place to be, do you?" I asked. I could see this turning into a long conversation, and I didn't want Christian appearing in the middle of it.
Lissa shook her head. "I'm all ears, Rose."
I took a deep breath. "I guess you could say it started a little while after we came back here. Dimitri and I…well, we…felt stuff for each other, I guess you could say." Shock and disapproval came through loud and clear from the bond, but Lissa kept her mouth shut.
"He wouldn't act on it though, not until about a month ago. You remember that fight with Jesse and that creepy society?" Lissa nodded. Like she could forget. "Well, when the guardians got there Alberta told Dimitri to get me cleaned up, but we couldn't go to the clinic because that's where they were taking Jesse and spirit's effects were making me kind of crazy. So Dimitri took me to one of the cabins for first aid, but I was still going insane and he was trying to help me get rid of the darkness…and after we sort of…had sex." I've never been embarrassed to tell Lissa anything, but this was different. That memory was so private, so perfect that I didn't want to ruin it by letting other people in. It wasn't supposed to be shared by anyone.
"Rose!" Lissa said, frowning. "You two could get in so much trouble! But, what does that have to do with you now?"
I'm pretty sure anyone besides Lissa would have guessed the truth by now, but Liss always wanted to believe the best. The thought never even crossed her mind.
"That was almost five weeks ago. I took a test on Monday and found out I'm pregnant," I said simply.
There was a moment where the bond seemed to go blank. And then I felt a rush of emotions so strong that they all seemed to blend into one. I don't think there's a real word for what she felt, but if there was one I imagined it would look something like this: .
When Lissa finally spoke, her voice was thick and full of emotion. "Oh Rose, why couldn't you tell me?" She reached over and hugged me tightly. She replayed the conversations we'd had over the past week, remembering my facial expressions and the moments where I'd almost broken down into tears. "I'm so sorry you had to go through that alone," she whispered.
"Yeah, me too," I said quietly.
Then the obvious crossed Lissa's mind. "Wait," she frowned as she released me from the hug, "you're both Dhampirs. How-?"
I shrugged. "I have no idea. All I know is he's the only possible father."
"Does he know?" Lissa asked, eyeing me cautiously.
"Yeah. He guessed it yesterday after he heard me puking my brains out. It was a huge mess."
Lissa wrinkled her nose. "Ew, Rose!"
"No, not the puke," I said, waving my hand in dismissal. "The Dimitri thing. I didn't have a chance to explain before he left."
"Oh no," Lissa breathed, horrified at how that must have left both of us hurting.
"But I found him last night, and we talked it over this morning. I promised I'd tell Dr. Olendski today," I said glumly.
"But that's good, Rose. She can help you," Lissa said, relieved. She didn't like the idea of me handling this without real help; she no longer counted Dimitri.
"I don't think it is, Liss. If she doesn't tell Kirova Dimitri will, and I won't be allowed to finish my training, so I can't graduate, and then I can't be your guardian." I hated the idea. We'd been planning our arrangement since we were in elementary school, and I hated watching it burn.
"Then you'll finish after the baby's born. And then I'll request you as my guardian. It's going to work out, Rose," Lissa said. She felt much more calm about this than I did. She really believed that everything would be alright. I wish I shared her optimism.
"I guess," I said, still not convinced.
"It will," Lissa said firmly. "Will you be okay for now, though?"
"Yeah. Just promise me you won't tell anyone. Not even Christian. Not yet, anyway," I said.
"Of course not. I swear," Lissa said, holding up her pinky like old times. I laughed and we wrapped our pinkies together in the most holy and sacred binding agreement known to man.
"So," I said as I hopped off her bed, "let's go get some food. I'm starving." Lissa laughed, and we headed down to breakfast together. For the first time since my last date with Dimitri, things seemed okay. Not wonderful, not perfect, just okay. And I was perfectly, wonderfully okay with that.
