Chapter 7
Thank you to all my lovely readers, even the homely ones, you are lovely in my eyes. Ahem. Who said that? You're all beautiful, just the way you are. Collectively. Up close is a little iffy. Thank God I'm hiding from you all behind a computer screen. Heavens to Mergetroid. Sorry everyone, the koala in my brain hijacked my fingers for a moment, that was him not me. But I'll leave it there, because I find it mildly amusing. And also to give Mr. You-know-who-you-are something interesting to read. Speaking of which, Psych is a great show. Goodness! Sorry. That was the flamingo in my brain. He is due to die very soon. Probably by drowning in the Caspian Sea. Ahem. You should all be glad I have the platypus under wraps. He has a serious potty mouth. *&%*(#(&%^($(^%. That was him. Swearing at the Johnny Depps on my right and left shoulders. As opposed to the George Clooneys on my right and left ears. Is that weird? Don't answer that.
Disclaimer: Don't own Inception
Jake had allowed Ariadne her secret about Paris, because she had allowed him his secret about how he'd funded his enrollment at Harvard Med (out of which he'd dropped a month into his second term, when he'd realized that the method was more profitable than becoming a doctor, not to mention much more suited to his personality.)
Because this story is written mostly from Ariadne's perspective, anyone who is potentially reading this story doesn't get to know what this secret method is, because the great omnipotent writer in the sky/desk chair is a great big meanie like that, and has not actually yet decided on the actual method. Suggestions may be placed in the offering basket to the great goddess Esking, who is great and powerful.
Due to this significant change in career, Jake also possessed a respectable amount of espionage skills, and he decided to have a personal chat with Arthur himself, because, he said to assuage his protesting conscience, he hadn't gotten to use them in a painfully long while. So he followed Arthur covertly to a rented studio on 12th avenue, and surveyed him with the toys left over from his college days.
The subject, as Jake thought of, as he and Ariadne had been unable to come to a consensus on whether his name was Arthur or Thomas (or, as further illegitimate research yielded, Brendan, Rex, Lyle, Roger, Bobby, Joe, Wilee, John, Morgan, Todd, or Chris), arrived at the studio at exactly 6:00 am, carrying a black computer bag slung over his shoulder. At the studio, he met with two other men, whom research had yielded were named Christian Alexander and Toby McKinney. They spent most of the day working individually, Arthur on a silver briefcase which Jake knew dispensed Somnacin, Alexander on a paper-Mache model of a maze, and McKinney on the laptop Arthur had brought, along with occasionally writing something on a classroom-sized white board.
If there was one thing Jake hated more than criminals who weren't him, it was criminals who did crazy stuff like make paper-Mache mazes. Insane criminals gave a bad name to the rest of them.
oOo
"Your boyfriend's even crazier than I thought," said Jake when Ariadne returned to the apartment after work.
"What makes you say that?" asked Ariadne, looking up warily.
"He's got a buddy who just spends his entire day making some sort of model castle. And the other guy? He ordered a freaking pina colada, at The Ram!"
Ariadne nodded. "Toby McKinney?" she said.
"How'd you know?"
"Arthur told me about him. Apparently he's got a…you know."
Jake's face split into a suggestive grin. "Fetish?"
Ariadne smiled. "I was going to say obsession." She became serious again. "Jake, you really shouldn't be paying any attention to Arthur. He's like one of those bombs they send the defusing squads in for. You just stay as far away as possible and hope for the best. And right now I'm hoping that he'll be leaving me alone for good this time. Get ready."
"What for?" asked Jake, nonplussed.
"For Nash's surprise party. You're coming with me," Ariadne clarified. "He'll be expecting a tiny ninja now. We'll have to go for the thug tack now. I bought you some scary thug clothes. Now go get ready."
Thanks for reading. Reviews appersheated. I got kind of lost on this chapter, and went to Mr. You-know-who-you-are for help, and he suggested the pina colada, so that's where that came from. The next chapter will pick up where I meant to leave off, so all will be set right in the world. Don't forget your holy offerings.
-esking.
